Like being how i used to be

Evening~~

I didn't sleep again
I was up til 1am like last night
so im tired
I woke up at 7;45am
didnt go for a run as my knees were hurting and it was raining

Took me ages to get going this morning
like had zero energy
so i tidied up hoping it would motivate me by getting moving
i reluctantly got dressed in my exercise gear and i did some dancing
soon got sweaty!
went for a shower then decided id go out and do 3 jobs i had to do
all to do with health very boring but needed to be done
i came back and sat with mum
made myself lunch then i sat and cute fabric out
took me a while and ive hardly made a dent in the amount ive got to do
usually i can go for longer but i felt exhausted and gave it up

i had cereal and tea for energy but nothing helped
i went to bed and mum came home she saw in my bed and i said i dont feel well
i felt like how i used
in pain with fibromylgia 
shattered with chronic fatigue syndrome 
my head is quiet
but i have these other issues
im just so tired and achy

i woke up and sat on sofa
i felt exactly how i used to
and its so saddening it truly is
i cant go back to that place
its like ive done a prison sentence and i dont want to go back there
im so gutted i feel this way
and praying im back on form tomorrow as i cant do this

dreading sleeping tonight
like literally dreading it
as ive slept in the day and i ache
not a good combo at all
so thats me up til 1am probably

tomorrow im entertaining myself in the morning and afternoon
then in the evening im going out with adam
hes booked a table at a restaurant for me and then were gonna play on the arcades in a bowling ally across from the restaurant. My suggestion and he liked the sound of it
i didnt suggest food i wanted to avoid that and go out after we'd had food at home
but no he wanted to eat out so im already having anorexic thoughts about that. 
im hoping it will be a nice evening
to be honest im just hoping that i will be healthy enough to see the evening through

got a new t-shirt in the post for £7