Well guess who was up til 2am
yup
I just cant seem to sleep
just become like wired in the late pm hours
i have to get up as im aching in bed from laying there that bloody long
went to bed at 9pm last night as i was so damn tired
i stayed in bed til 12:30 then went back to bed 1:45am
after doing some stretches, dancing, reading
im so damn tired
my eyes and eye lids sting
i was up at 6:50am
so every morning for god knows how long ive only had 5-6 hours sleep
plus the amount of exercise and stuff im filling my day with
its exhausting!
When I saw mum this morning she said "oh you look white. You lips even look blue"
how is that possible? how can i look so corpse like in the morning?
I got ready to see karen
for a massage ive been needing
she says she can feel ive got muscles these days XD
we talked about bits and she asked me questions about my mental health condition that dissosiative identity disorder. i didnt mind tho
at the end of the massage karen said "you have more colour now, you dont look quite so vampiress now" XD thanks, I must have looked rough this morning im guessing!
i left there and was home for 10:30am for a needed shower
from there i didnt do much
i honestly felt like death
but i pushed myself to do 2 more kimono squares
i went wrong a few times but i got there
did a fair bit of cross stitch today
went to walk to the shop with mum
tidied up a bit
it has been unbelievably hard to NOT exercise today
like stupidly hard
its all i can think about that i havent done something
im used to doing AT LEAST 30 mins everyday
and to take a day off it torture
but i was determined to do it as ive had a massage and been exercising so hard my body aches a lot so i know i need the rest its just very hard having the rest
crazy really but it feels like something i need to do is exercise
i have been disciplined today tho and not exercised
im back on it tomorrow tho
in a way it picked a good day for my day off as im so shattered honestly
body feels like a heavy weight including my eyes
theyve been sore all day, theyre sore from me rubbing them awake so much
i feel ive done nothing today
but its been necessary
tomorrow i will be back on my game
tomorrow im ether going into a town in the morning or i may go city centre
ether way im by myself
then at 3pm i have psychiatrist
then 6:30pm i see mia
id like to do a run in the morning also~
a doodle ive done as part of adams present
No comments:
Post a Comment