I just dont sleep -____-
i woke up at 7:45am
I decided seeing as it was raining that I'd dance
I did 25mins i was dripping from my forehead and lip
like it was humid or something as i have no idea why i was
sweating THAT badly
i felt my dancing sucked today but i think some bits are sinking in better
i expect more from my dancing
sometimes i feel like joining a dance school so i can improve
but im unsure where the qualification would get me really
other than me enjoying it of course XD
I did 2 more kimonos bringing the total to 22
so 2 more to go!!!
Adam came to see me...
i havent seen him since id had that tiff and i knew he could tell i was off
with him cus i was
i had so much going in my head
the more confused and unsure i am the more i retreat and so does my emotions
i felt pretty emotionless if im honest
eventually it came out why i was in the mood i was
i told him everything that bothers me with the relationship
i could tell it was hurting him and i did not for one second enjoy it
it had to be done tho
he's had it said to him now anyway
i felt better for getting it off my chest
what will come of it i have no idea
he was very quiet for a long time
i did say "if i feel someone is holding me back and things arent going anywhere im gonna leave" dont think he liked that as he hugged me at that point.
yeah you will freak out when i mention leaving
and surprise surprise we did nothing all afternoon
we just do nothing
and its so dull
i still feel feelings for him i know i do
but how long those feelings will keep going for i dont know
i havent walked away from him yet anyway
but im not sure what will happen
i know we're not looking at mortgages or children or marriage
theres no big step to work to we''re only at the stage of enjoying
one anothers company day to day
but if im not enjoying the day to day stuff then the harder stuff such as mortgages
just isnt gonna happen or be right
who knows
single life doesnt frighten me
sometimes id welcome it as this is a lot of hassle and confusion
we''ll see
i'll give it a lil longer
we went to his house mid afternoon
where i told his dad that his collection of stamps hes worked on for years is only worth the glue on the back of those stamps. he wasnt impressed XD funny tho adam was laughing hard
i left for yoga anyway
yoga was a lot of holding positions
we didnt have karen but i still feel ive worked muscles
unfortunately before i went to yoga my calf, the same calf, went into spasm
damn well hurts it has nothing on cramp
and it hurt to put weight on
i stretched and stretched to try and help it before yoga
but still hurt throughout the session and even now!
tomorrow
if i wake early enough i will go for a run
then i believe me and mum are going shopping to shops on the other end of the city
should be good :)
I thought id share photos from yesterday
ice skating and our bentos :D
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