I went on my old DeviantArt website last night
see whats what i thought
i had 11,000+ notifications and had last signed in april 2017
yeah...
im not sure whether to start a new account or continue with that one
I couldnt sleep last night
i was soooo much pain it was crazy
not only that but im sure the shadows were moving on my walls
and i could hear foot steps
in the end i got up to my brother (the only other person upstairs at the time) and asked him
"have you been moving around?"
he said "i havent moved from my bed"
hmm obviously having a bit of an episode
i could feel my heart beating quite a lot
after coming downstairs for 3 types of pain killer i did sleep
I woke up at 7am and got myself ready
as you never know work might come in!
yeah right
no one wants me do they XD
Still I got ready and I was out for 9am
I took a walk through a park and past a few stores til
I got to a cafe to hand an actual paper CV in
the woman who advertised the job wasnt in so a guy took it for me
probably wont hear a damn thing but I like to try
makes me feel like im trying to help my life and situation
I went round charity shops
not needing anything but you never know
i found one shop that was shut for a while during summer but has opened up and
everything it sells is £2 or under...wow
i couldnt get my head round that
i brought 3 things 2 of which are for my holiday and it doesnt matter if i dont bring
them back home with me as lets face it they were only £2 and one was even brand new!
I walked back to my car and drove to pets at home
Oz needs food, luckily they had a brand for sale so i brought it
he hasnt had it before but its the same brand as the guinea food
and he eats theirs no trouble XD
i came home then
i sat and read then had some lunch
when i had a quiet house i did some dancing
i ran through my usual and i am improving
but i also started AKB48's Uza!! i found a video that shows them dancing clearly
so im learning from that
my god its hard! probably take me to the new year to finish it to a decent standard XD
i learned in about 30 mins 17 seconds
stupidly hard
but loving it, i get to much enjoyment out of doing hard fast dances
i got changed and wiped off the hours worth of dance sweat
and went to meet adam at the pub
not seen him since wednesday since i broke up with him
i felt fine about seeing him it didnt bother me in the least
i was more concerned about how he was gonna be with me...
luckily we arrived at the same time
we went to the bar and i ordered a tea
i was good and drank it without sugar
but yeah it was a lil hard work and frosty at first if im honest
to the point were i wondered if we could salvage our friendship
but as conversations went on and i managed to make him laugh a bit
he did loosen up and i think he felt better about having a hug from me too
i dont mind hugging my friends
but wherever i could i made sure to point out i wasnt having a relationship
and for him to not wait for that to happen or wait for me
as i will not lead anyone on and if he doesnt know where stand on this matter
then hes an idiot
but it felt good afterwards knowing that we both felt better for meeting up and getting that done
and that we're both ok with one another too
he said he was anxious about seeing me
we said we'd have movie night on thursday as hes home alone so we can watch stuff downstairs not on his bed, hes been and brought (before we broke up) 2 dvds one for me one for him
so we will plow through though those
i came home and got changed and did some stretches
told mum briefly about what happened between adam and me
he said its weird he hugged me but i dont think it was weird
i hug Ed
we set off for running club
mum does nordic walking on a monday and it takes place in a park across the road really so i dropped her off and went to do running
they announced that one group will be doing 2miles the other 3-4 miles
i freaked at hearing the number 4 so went to do 2 miles
as i dont think i had the energy to do even 3 as id already walked and danced
so i followed the 2mile group
but they were sooooo slow it was quicker to walk!
so i asked a woman "are those ahead the 2miles group?"
she said "yeah" so i went to catch them up
we kept going and going until i asked one "this is the 2mile group right?"
she said "no with us you will be doing at least 3.3 miles"
great id caught the 3mile group up
so the eventually turned round for home and i saw another group ahead
and seeing as these woman had slowed down i caught these up
turned out they were the back end of the 2mile group
so id gone from 2 to 3 to 2 again
i was exhausted to say the least
then had to wait 15mins in my car for mum to show
not sure what im doing tomorrow yet
my nails for this week i quite like them
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