Oz had his jabs

Evening~

Didn't sleep til like 3am
I hurt so much
I took a fair amount of pain relief in the night
mum woke me up at 8am
been a long time since mum woke me up actually

I got Oz in and ate my breakfast with him
then got him ready for the vets
to say I had first appointment they were running 20 mins late...
why do i even bother going to appointments on time?
the vet who saw him, never seen her before
my god she was soulless treating my Oz like a bit of meat
he was good boy but shot up at neck when she'd finished
i only just caught him
so glad i did his claws the other day otherwise id have a very good scratch i reckon
anyway hes put on 0.5kg since last year
the vet says its an acceptable weight but anymore would be classed as over weight
so ive got to watch what hes eating
i know its his pellets sometimes he just scoffs the lot
so im gonna have to limit that
he was very good having his jabs and on the whole he was fine

we came back and dropped Oz off 
then we went to the shops
we stopped by a chemist and i handed over my weapons
a whole bag full of Tramadol
the pain relief I was on for years but as of this month I have been clean for a year
so i know its safe to say ive moved on from them
they were a horrible drug to take and had such a hold on me
i got some toy eyes and other bits whilst we were out
like a body spray that smells of candy floss *0*

we came back and i went to bed
my pain has been awful all day since the moment i got up out of bed
just awful awful pain
nothing helping ether
and when i woke up i felt sickly and off
mum made me eat cheese on toast
and i did feel better for eating but i had stomach ache for the rest of the day from eating that bread

i did some science
i can do one bit but not the other but i believe i can get through my interview without it
but i will talk to jack
dont want to appear too stupid

i eventually got myself motivated for 25mins of dancing which about killed me off
to say i did like an hour yesterday or whenever
just having an off day i think

mia says i can see her monday to watch fruits basket with her 
did some more of my fruits basket drawing its coming along

dinner gave me awful stomach ache and it was only salmon
food is so deadly lately
Oz is feeling a bit off as well bless him but the jabs do that

tomorrow
dad is painting the kitchen....my brother helped paint last time and has refused to help this time
saying i should do it basically
and yeah i know i probably do have to help
i have nothing against helping
i just have a big issue with working with my dad
but if im allowed to stick my headphones in and get on with it i should be fine
i have a massage booked at 12 which i can not wait for!!!!
then i might sleep
as i have jack's house party to attend at some point
might see him earlier than what time people are getting there for 
dont think im sleeping over tho

i feel a bit mental today
when im in pain and tired it just makes everything worse
my perspective on life, my thoughts, voices
ive had enough
ive had everything from
self harm
not to eat
how majorly overweight i am and how its only gonna get worse
that jack wont want to go out with anymore
im weird and freak case
just too much to deal with