Evening~~~
So Friday
I got up and felt a bit rough but decided I wanted to go the technician meet
I got to the school and saw Julia cycling in so luckily I got to walk in with her
we had tea and biscuits then started with chemistry
we had a demonstration from their technician and I looked round the room
thinking "is everyone understanding this?"
no one else looked as blank and confused as me
I have to say I had a lot of moments that day were I doubted my job
that i was in the wrong the job as i have no idea whats going off!
Luckily for me Julia knows everything when it comes to chemistry
so she talked me through it all and we did it
i watched 'flame tests' which funny enough me and jack had been trying to create
over the last two weeks with little success but this technician told us how
he had managed it
then he showed us a penny which he turned from copper to silver then to gold
that was quite cool
we stopped and had lunch which i felt ready for
then it was biology time
i got to 'denature' some milk
and we were shown other practicals that i will have to prep for school
so i took note and photos as its gonna help me
we had a break and i was running short on energy but kept going
it was nice to spend time with just julia as i havent really had the time with her
then it was physics and it was a mend it session but it wasnt successful
so they let us go early
and cus i was staying at jack's i decided to head back to my school
julia decided to head back too
she made it there before me as i was texting mum in the car to say i was ok
didnt know julia had reported to jack that i was well behaved and how well i was >.>
i got to school and jack was already asking me to do stuff
i said "ah its not my problem" smugly
he came up to me and said "it is you problem as if i dont get finished on time you will be leaving a lot later because youre going home with me, so if you wanna leave on time i suggest you help"
wise ass
i helped but did bare minimum XD
we got to his and took it easy all evening
jack hadnt checked his phone and found out in 15mins time theo was having friends over as they were having a night out...
i said "im staying downstairs"
he was like "stay upstairs and just see people"
i was in his pajamas and looked like death
i came upstairs and drank some rum which was gross
then i laid on the sofa
and i fell asleep for quite a while
what woke me was them leaving at 11:30pm
we were in bed for midnight
saturday
we had a bit of lay in as jack doesnt do mornings XD
it was stupidly hot that day think it reached 31c
i found out that some of jacks friends wanted to come out in the sun with us
i felt like death
so rather than be in the way i decided to leave
i got my stuff together and told jack i was going home
he was like "you sure youre ok to drive?"
i said "im fine i'll take my time"
we started the walk down to my car and i was struggling
honestly like my heart felt like it couldnt pump enough blood for me to walk
i was struggling to find the strength to open doors
we got to the car park and jack said "jo this is ridiculous you cant even stand up straight"
i said "but i need to go home as i need medication anyway"
he said "rest and get it later"
i was sooo frustrated and just wanted to be well
i felt like id be in the way, that he'd only worry all day about me, and was just annoyed at myself
so i took the walk of shame back to his flat and i lost a few tears
just out of frustration i think
we grabbed some lunch from a store and with theo james and harvey we laid out in the local park those guys were in the sun but i wasnt and jack joined me
i wasnt gonna get sun stroke on top of feeling poorly
i was running short on energy tho
we got back to his flat and slept
when i woke up i felt loads better and decided to go home for my medication
it was so damn hot tho and as much as i wanted to fuss oz i couldnt as id only make him hotter and he was panting as it was as he still has his winter coat
we got back to jacks and i tided up and helped with dinner the 3 of us ate together and started watching pirates of the carribean but we went to bed half way through
then today i got up and didnt feel too bad
we popped round the shops and i felt so tired
we decided to go out for lunch just the 3 of us
we had thai food it was soooo good
then we rested back at the flat
then i came home and as it was cooler today and Oz had missed me terribly
i spent some time with him
put my stuff away from jacks
got school stuff ready
and did my diary
thats all ive had time for
hopefully watching killing eve tonight if i can stay awake for it
coming home i die of hayfever so it tires me out greatly
tomorrow its school
and i plan being back on form and doing the whole week
i am feeling better but i just keep dying now and again
jack says hes gonna make sure i dont tire myself out
julia said "youve got a mum at home and a mum here"
theo was lecturing me on my diet
will there come a time Jo wont worry others?
its nice having people to look out for me tho
i got some face powder in the post to try
its suppost to be good with sweat
and i think its gonna be needed!
Evening~
I woke up at 4am
I felt off and decided to cancel my alarm and not go to work
i woke up at 8:30am
resigning myself to a day of rest really
I played pokemon
had a shower
designed my nails for tonight
did some drawing of jack's mug
got the outline done
watched the last episode of senko-san
ordered some hair dye to have ago with
slept for a couple of hours
yeah just passed the day really
mum made cake and we sat out in the sun drinking tea and having cake
ive eaten soooo much today im fed up of eating!
i decided to go to yoga as i havent been for a couple weeks
and that was really tough despite it being a relaxed lesson
i was just wiped out
tomorrow im gonna go to a different school
one that is 2 mins from my school
its for this 'technician meet up' thing
local science technicians in the city get to meet up and have different workshops
theres tea and coffee i guess
me and julia are attending, jack wanted to go but one of us has to stay at school
and seeing as he has been before he let us go
ive gotta wear my lab coat >.> julia has took it home with her tonight and bringing
it for me tomorrow ^^
im so not gonna blend in with the geeks tho
but jack said its mostly woman and the age is pretty mixed so hopefully there will be others to talk to but i doubt any will be like minded like me XD
but i will attend
tomorrow im 'working' 2 hours less than i usually do
i finish at 3pm
jack doesnt finish til 3:30pm but i said id come school and drop off my lab coat
and go pick him up and stay at his house really
so thats tomorrow
and i dont care how i am feeling
i am going~
Evening~~
Didnt sleep til midnight but woke up at 6:30am so thats not too bad i guess
my morning was alright
I ended up having a bit of a lecture from mum about my mental health/behaviour
as of late...
and shes right i know i havent been on my best lately
but surprisingly just talking about it all brought me back down to earth
i told her im struggling and when im struggling i push others away
its just something i seem to do
but i felt better for talking
however talking almost made me late for work i only just got there on time!
i saw jack and julia wasnt in yet
so i went over to talk to him and told him i was struggling and sorry for being a jerk
he said he noticed i was down and hurting
so we talked about stuff
then he said we had to go round the labs and check the equipment
a job i didnt want to do
he offered to do it together or by our selves
and id brought my ipod - intending to work alone
but since i had talked to mum and talked to jack i felt better and therefor wanted the company
so i worked with him
god there was so much stuff
took us hours
going up down up down off the floor checking trays and shelves
i was feeling dizzy but didnt think much to it really
we had lunch, well i had some biscuits and a hot chocolate
and i felt kinda spaced out and julia said i didnt look so good
i didnt feel good
she suggested i go out for fresh air i got up and almost walked into the door frame
i said "Im ok"
and then my legs just gave way and i went crashing to the floor
jack was there and i was shaking like a leaf
i was annoyed
they said i should go to the nurses office as i could lay down there
i did not want that kinda attention
but it seems it was a day of what jo didnt want to happen >.>
i got carried with an arm under each of me from julia and jack
and they took me to the nurses room
i had to lay down with and ice pack on my forehead as i was burning up
and she put the fan on me
the nurse asked jack "is there anyone we can ring?"
he asked me "is your mum home?"
i said "yeah she is today but theres no need as ill be fine in 10mins then ill go home"
they both looked at each other and next thing i knew jack left me alone with the nurse
she asked me "do you two know each other from school or something?"
i said "no. why do you ask?"
she said "you two seem to know each other well" ^^"
does it show that much?...
jack came back
"rang your mum, shes on her way"
i looked horrified at him "you are joking?"
he said "no Jo I am not joking. youre going home"
i said "ah your dont understand, ill be fine in a few mins, theres no need to send me home and mum is only gonna lecture me again"
he said "i dont care you cant drive end of youre going home"
told him i hated him
but in that moment i hated myself above anything else
hated that i was once again sick, putting others out, and attracting attention to myself
mum eventually arrived
and i said
"i dont think my legs can carry me to the car"
so what does the nurse get for me?
a wheel chair
course she does -____-
so i now have a worried mother and a wheel chair facing me
i literally wanted to crawl up and die
jack pushed me in the wheel chair to mums car ><
i could have died
he looked a bit stressed and concerned and mum said once we drove off
"i can tell he didnt want to leave you. he told me on the phone you didnt bring lunch today"
crap and double crap
we got home and mum rang the doctors
i got a cancellation an hour later
i was checked over and doctor said id basically got a virus that should pass
i just had to rest drink and eat
i got home and went to bed
i felt better for food and bed rest
mia rang me and i spoke to her for a bit which was nice but tiring
i had texts from jack asking if i was ok
i said i was ok and that i wanna come school tomorrow
he told me to take the day off
but i can not bare a day of sodding bed rest
its evil
so i started getting my school stuff ready and mum asked me what i was doing
i said "i wanna go school"
she said "only if youre well as i am not collecting you again, i didnt pick you up this much during your whole time at high school"
i said "i know im 27 and youre still picking me up poorly from school like a child" XD
but we agreed if i was ok i could go
then the lecture came
the food lecture
yes jo has learned a lesson
i have to eat
despite how much i hate myself, my size, my weight.
i must eat
i cant work and not eat
so i have got a lot of food to take tomorrow
and its something ive got to get on with and do
i could get by so much easier in life if i didnt have so many anorexic thoughts and self hatred
i told jack today how much i hate myself and he was so sad to hear that
just fact of the matter
so yeah jo has not been taking care of herself
id like to go school tomorrow
but i guess i shall see
Evening
Didnt fall asleep til gone midnight
and woke up at 4am
sick of waking up before my alarm its like i dont trust its gonna go off!
i got ready for school and sat with Oz inside as it was chucking it down
it only stopped raining at 7pm -___-
Today was probably my first boring day at school
no lessons at all
so nothing to prep and nothing to go in and help in
i did odd jobs
i think the most exciting part of my day was mixing hydrochloric acid up
ive cleaned a lot
im so done in
jack was stressing today, he got to budget through and realised we dont have enough for the equipment we need and was trying to find other suppliers and yadda yadda it went on all day he went on about it during lunch. i tuned off id had enough
bigger things to worry about
but because he was stressing, he turned into a jerk
gods sake he was on my back
what an arse hole
proper did my head in
i told him several times i hated him
the day went incredibly slow
as soon as 4pm hit i was out the door
didnt bother waiting for anyone i was gone
i got home and had a brew with mum and oz
and went to bed
i was shattered, in pain
my knee is so bad
i came to conclusion this morning that its not gonna heal
this is just my body now breaking down, my joints are just getting worse
it feels horrid and does hurt time to time
so sod it im gonna return to dancing as soon as i have the energy to do so
currently im still kicking off the rest of this virus
i havent done much since i woke up
ate dinner and did 30 mins of yoga
gotta get stuff ready for school yet and its 8:30pm
i wanna try and do some drawing as well
just not enough hours in the day
last night jack wanted me to come over tonight
but i didnt want to really so i never gave him a real answer
glad i didnt after the day ive had with him
tomorrow looks like an incredibly boring day ahead
i have lab sinks to scrub clean and lab inventories to do
i hate this week so much
Evening~~~
Didnt sleep too bad
but been awake since 5am
I had a lovely quiet morning at home
morning at school however was another matter
Jack came in charging around
he was running late
he had forgotten he'd left his work wear in the washer, he missed his tram, forgot to buy string over the weekend (despite me reminding him) and after another million things he discovered he had forgot to buy bread for a practical in half hour time...
so my morning was made very hectic from him
i walked to the shop to get bread
on the way i bumped into a drama teacher who said he had seen the drawing i had done for Liv and Alicia and would I do a picture for his daughter who's birthday it is in July. I said sure, he said "let me know youre favourite drink" i dont drink -___- but didnt think to tell him that. so thats Liv who wants a picture drawing for her dad, the drama teacher, and the mug I need to do for Jack
i came in and he started making the practical, went wrong
he told me what to do and i did it -_____-
we only just got to first aid training on time!
first aid training was actually good
we were taught by a woman
i was with jack and a teacher about 40 years old called Andrew
andrew made a lot of jokes and i was laughing
i was hoping id do ok but was made a lil nervous when she said there was a test at the end...
so we covered different things and did resuscitation and used a defibrillator
she said "out of all the hundreds ive taught only 5 people have used the defibrillator correctly"
i had a go and she said "youre number 6 well done"
i did really well
we did the recovery position and i said "ive been in that a lot"
she looked horrified at me as she was an ex-paramedic
she was like "why whats wrong with you?"
i told her "i dont do bleeding, needles and have low blood pressure"
we were given an hour lunch which i took
then after lunch we did wounds and the photos and talking about it was making me feel a lil off and weak as i wasnt feeling 100% anyway
she was asking questions and i was surprised how much i was getting right
the other two didnt say a lot
jack was impressed with how well i did and with my attention span as i didnt doodle once
we took the 15 question test at the end and the 3 of us passed
woohoo
she afterwards said to me i impressed her and its nice to see when first aid comes naturally to people
we went back to the prep room
and i did a few jobs but suddenly felt quite faint and had a 10 min sit
i was annoyed cus i thought i was getting over this!
i did a few jobs when i felt up to it
jack said "seeing as sally is leaving do you wanna draw a card for her?"
i said "seriously? i get like 3 art requests in 1 week!?"
i knew id do it tho
then went home really
got home and in my pajamas
played pokemon and slept
had dinner then started and finished drawing the card for the teacher
its simple and i practically copied a design out there as i wasnt in the mood to design
im too tired, besides she loves cats so im sure it will go down well
tomorrow is school
and its looking like a boring boring day
im gonna try and see if i can hide out in some lessons!
Evening
I have returned~~~
So friday
I had school and everybody asked me how I was feeling
and that its quiet without me XD
I got it all done
the heart dissections were that day and the teacher said I was
welcome to join in on their lesson *0*
I was pleased with this XD
Lunch time came and a teacher asked for something
so i went and gave it to her
she asked if i would wait for her to start the students on their work
then to watch them whilst she went to the toilet
so i had a class to myself for a bit
they just treated me as one of them XD guess i look a similar age
I came downstairs to my lunch to realise i had heart dissections to join in on
so i left my lunch and went to class
i was the smallest in the room and it was only year nine....so ages 13-14
how depressing is my life
anyway heart dissection was good
but very bloody
a few kids were not feeling it so i got to cut their hearts and hold it for them and such
it was good
one girl asked when i held her heart "is there something wrong with you?" XD
they just talked to me like i was part of their class
i did have curly pigtails that day i must have looked like a student XD
good tho
then i had the job of cleaning up all that lovely pig's blood
i came back to the prep room at 2pm and had my lunch
id not eaten since 6:30am so i did well to last
I told another biology teacher that i enjoyed being in the lesson
and he said i can come in his heart dissection lesson ^^
thats next week~
I went home with jack
i was about to die
i was soooo tired
i managed the day tho so i was happy with myself
we got back and rested and did food
theo and jack started pokemon i didnt i simply traded pokemon to them
i was too tired to play really
and i went to bed early i was just dead and not feeling 100%
I told Jack he didnt need to join me he could stay up with theo but he joined me
in the morning we lazed around til almost midday
then we got up and we went for a walk on a park near my house
as it was such a lovely day
we forget what the sun looks like
came to my house so i could see Oz
then we picked up food on the way back to jacks to cook
got back to jacks and made food before i felt too dead
we had pizza and potato
then theo had a friend over for an hour one i hadnt met but we got on fine
they went off to a house party
me and jack put on a film of mine i havent seen since high school
Inuyasha movie 3
i could not remember it and we sat watching that to pokemon
i started my game again but havent played on it since last night
jack turned to me and said "you are so like inuyasha" -____- poor film choice by me XD
Inuyasha finished at midnight so we went to bed
i slept like a log i couldnt believe it was morning
but i didnt hear Theo or his friend return home
so i got up to see if they had come in during the night and i simply hadnt heard them
no....
so where were they?
jack was comatose in bed so i let him sleep i crashed on the sofa
felt quite off this morning
the door went and it Hue theo's friend
i was like "eh where's theo at then?"
he said "well i spent the night in the birthday girl's bed and theo went home with two random girls and gave me his flat key"
ahhhhhh guys
seriously
how can people sleep around like that
so there was a lot of grim details when theo eventually came home
so glad i dont attend these kinda things
i just stayed on the sofa resting
did nothing til lunch time when i decided to go home as i was just feeling crap
theo jack and harvey were gonna go play pokemon go and have food out
i couldnt face eating out and walking around so i went home
came home had a shower
and went to bed for 2 hours
my mum came in when i woke up and said i looked awful
guess im still a bit sick
takes me a while to battle stuff
i havent done anything since
seeing as i missed killing eve last night my parents didnt watch it ether
so said we would all watch it together tonight which is nice of them
tomorrow i am going school whether i am well or not
as i have a whole day of first aid training and i really want to do it
jack is doing it also
Evening
ahhh excuse my absence
Jo has been poorly -____-
So leaving off from monday when I wasnt feeling good
I couldnt sleep and didnt sleep til about 2am
I woke up at 5am laying there and laying there
and at 5:40am I decided as I would be up at 6am id turn my alarm off
so it wouldnt make jump
what did I do?
i fell asleep
course I did
Next thing I knew it was 6:25am...
i got up, my body was weak and shaking but still i got ready in record time
driving to work i started to feel a lil dizzy
i walked out my car and felt like i was on a boat the floor was moving
i got to the school entrance and i almost passed out i just managed to hold on
a teacher saw and asked if i was ok
i just said "i nearly fainted, i just dont feel that good"
she took me to the reception and i sat down the receptionist asked if i was ok
and at that moment who walks in...
Jack
course he does
i just thought "ah Jo you're in for it now"
he was concerned and walked with me to the prep room
telling me I shouldnt have come in and such
i said id be ok and i wanna stay
but it soon became very apparent i wasnt very well
i was stupidly dizzy like as if someone had span me round on a chair and expected me to walk in a straight line, i was all over the place
Jack told me to sit down, so i laid on the floor in the prep room as i felt sick and dizzy
teachers started to come in and obviously were wondering why their technician Jo was on the floor and looking like death
i had so many concerned members of staff that day
one said "youve got extra mothers here now"
another said "please dont die, the paper work would be a nightmare"
another blew me a kiss
but they all said the same thing
go home.
it was so hard for me to give in
jack made me a cup of tea which i struggled to drink
i said id go home once id drank it and the morning traffic to clear at 9am
then my vision kept blurring
quite badly
Jack said "can your mum or dad get you? i dont think you should be driving"
i said "if other drivers get out the way ill be fine"
he said "no Jo you arent safe to drive, youre swaying whilst sitting down"
he told a member of staff my vision was going and the teacher was like "take her car keys"
in the end i rang home *sigh* feels like i give in when i do that
i told mum and she said she'd come fetch me at 9:20am
so i waited til then on the floor
jack was making up the fake urine i wanted to make up
he kept screwing it up tho
and i said while laying down "I would have had that done by now"
he said "so would i but youre stressing me out!"
i said "Im not doing anything!"
i think it was just me dying on the floor that was stressing him out
mum sent me a text to say she had arrived in the car park
jack insisted on going with me >.>
kinda glad he did i was all over the shop
i looked like id had too much to drink
i was shivering outside despite it being sunny and warm and i felt exhausted just walking to the car jack handed me over to mum and said how stubborn i was and to not let me come into work tomorrow. damn him
the rest of the day was spent in my pajamas and i slept loads
i drank loads too
i had a fever and my heart was working over time even tho i was only laying down
i played pokemon, digimon and watched anime
and slept and slept
anything to escape the boredom
jack text me to say he sorted all the biology out and asked if i was ok
i said i wanted to come school tomorrow he said
"I dont care how youre feeling tomorrow youre not coming in"
-___-
so i resigned myself to another day of bed rest damn it
wednesday
i slept like a log
even tho i slept loads during tuesday i slept all the way through the night
i spent my day watching anime
watching dances
and sleeping
ive been eating and drinking more than usual as i just want to be back to full health
it was incredibly boring tho
luckily i did have my mum home
at 1pm tho my brother came home from work saying he wasnt feeling good
i thought 'i hope i havent infected him'
he went to bed for the rest of the day then went out on his BMX...
wish i healed that bloody quick
today
i do feel better today
no dizziness
and im not so fatigued
mum says i have colour in my cheeks today as well
i havent been sweating all day ether
i hardly slept last night
and ive done so well to not sleep during the day
i dont know how ive passed the day tho
i did do some origami, i wanna put one in jacks technician tray one each week
but the top left the cat with the heart i think that i will save for his birthday, the others are a mouse, rabbit face, cat face
so that kept me quiet
ive sat with Oz a lot
watched anime
got my stuff ready for school and for jacks
tomorrow i am dragging my corpse to school
it will be a hard ask but im going
i wanna know whats happening next week
also its heart dissection and i dont wanna miss it
also i know jack doesnt wanna clear it up XD
after school im going to his house
as i am enjoying my weekend damn it!!!!!!!!!
i had a crap weekend last weekend where i spent it in bed
i havent spent any time with jack for 2 weeks
ive had a crap week of feeling like death
so i am enjoying my weekend
i asked jack "friday night can we watch an anime film whilst starting pokemon heartgold/soulsilver then go bed, have a lay and then go for a sugar binge?"
he said "i approve of this plan"
i said "anything you wanna add?"
he said "as long as im with you im happy"
meh ill take that XD
so thats me really
im sure i can hack tomorrow, i even have salad to take with me to get me through the day
im looking forward to spending time with jack too as its been too long
im sure over the weekend ill be fully recovered
jack said every member of the science staff was concerned about me and hoped i was ok
it will be good to see them all tomorrow
i hope i can pick up where i left off ok
hopefully it wont be too busy
Otsukararesama deshita
I didnt sleep well
just couldnt sleep and my leg was throbbing in bed
i got up for work and felt stupidly dizzy like my brain cant keep up with my
eyes movements
but still i thought it would pass
got to work some how
driving dizzy is no fun
got to work and felt terrible
like literally felt like i was gonna pass out
people said i looked awful
jack said on several occassions to go home
but i didnt want to give in
its my 3rd week i cant have a sick day so soon
so i kept going
having hot and cold sweats all sodding day even now
so i had my lab coat on and off
i slept through lunch
i didnt eat anything as i felt sick
jack said i was being stubborn but eventually gave me encouragement to keep going
i got through the day
god knows how
i felt like death
a few times i thought i was actually gonna faint
i got my work done
i hurt my knee just with all the carrying and pushing i had to do today
jack was needy
gave me a few hugs today
clearly missing me
and said this week we need to spend some actual time together
its nice feeling needed i guess
he was like "we need to go on an actual date this week"
i said "does staying in playing games count?"
he said "no"
i said "sleeping in?"
he said "i do love sleeping in"
he was so late out of bed today he didnt have time to do lunch so had to buy lunch as he pressed snooze 8 times...
i told him if i was there i would have got his sorry butt outta bed
i had my last hypnotherapy session straight after work
i could not be arsed but i attended
its alll done now
she said i should sleep tonight anyway
and to return should i need anymore help
i came home had dinner and my second shower of the day cus my god i had not stopped sweating all day, no one else was sweating but me. jack felt my forehead and said i was burning up
i hope so much i am feeling fine tomorrow
i dont want to be sick
but maybe thats why i wasnt myself for the whole weekend :/
i keep getting told to take better care of myself...
Evening
Didnt sleep great but im not shocked as I slept for 6 hours during the day
had a whole night of tossing and turning really
last night i watched episode 2 of killing eve
that 45 mins always goes to quick
total of 8 episodes~~
This morning I couldnt wait to get out of bed
had enough of the confinement
i had a brew outside with Oz
it kept raining today tho
but the pets could go out this morning and this evening which was good
today i havent done much
kinda felt like another day similar to yesterday
but on the positive side i did get a few more bits done
i booked manchester the train, hotel, convention
i chose my pokemon for soul silver i just need to breed them
i went for a walk with mum
so a bit more productive and i did a bit of drawing and did my nails
but i have done a lot of staring into space
i was left home alone a lot today
so its been me and my thoughts a lot today
very healthy
got my stuff ready for school tomorrow
watched another episode of senko-san
might watch another tonight
heres the picture i have started of her
tomorrow is school
i hope im not still tired ><
then i come home and wiz back out for my last hypnotherapy session
last week she worked on my pain and my pain has been better this week
strangely
if it continues to be good then im gonna ditch my pain killers over the summer holidays
tomorrows session will be emotions, combining me and eko together
i could be a different person...
little apprehensive about it to say the least
Evening
I picked my brother up at 1:30am
didnt have to but I texted him at 12:40 asking if he was ok getting home
and he did ask for a lift
i couldnt sleep so yeah i got on with it basically
didnt go to bed til after 2am
i got up for my hair cut
i havent had anything drastic but it looks better
i came home and i went to bed
i stayed there for 3 hours
had lunch
went back to bed for 3 hours
helped with dinner
ate dinner
did my diary gonna sit with Oz and watch killing eve
tomorrow its fathers day
i didnt get round to making him a card
i was too busy being in a bubble
mum asked on several occassions today "are you ok?"
she also asked
"is your head ok?"
"what are you thinking?"
"youve stared off into space a lot today"
just havent been myself
i have texted jack since 2pm
he was quite keen for me to go over today
but i couldnt be bothered to remain conscious nevermind talking to someone
not seeing him tomorrow ether as hes got a family thing
so i will see him monday at school
im sure ill be back to normal tomorrow
theyre having a night out tonight and i dont want to go
i just said my leg was bad and left it at that
i havent got done anything i said id do today
just slept
maybe everything caught up with me
i was just blank and numb even my taste buds werent awake
jacks heartgold came today and it works fine
tomorrow i will book manchester and sort pokemon out too
i looked briefly at technology today but im not sure about stuff
this morning it was sunny....eerie
i cant remember sun
it has rained all day since but hey i was able to have a brew outside this morning
and i even took photos of my pets as i havent done so in a while so here we are my 3 beautiful little babies
