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Evening~~

So yesterday I had my second day of full time work
I didnt sleep that well
I had some awful nightmares
like where does some of that stuff come from 0.0
i dreamed i could hear cats meowing and i found  hung up in a shed
swinging by rope tied round their necks they each had only 3 legs down to the knee and had been blinded but could still meow for help
disturbing on so many levels
where does that come from?
I dont read or watch or play anything gross or horror related
maybe im just warped

anyway school
it was a good day
i managed everything
it was very dull doing a chemical stock take we are not even half way through -___-
some chemicals and bottles were older than me 
i got all my prepping done as well as well as some of jack's cus hes still helping julia out
we did get 5 mins alone to have a chat in the staffroom
he asked if i would come over that night and have dinner with him
i said i could but had hypnotherapy and to maybe sleep over

i came home and went near enough straight back out
as i had hypnotherapy 
she focused on self esteem and mental pain
i literally remembered none of it, if she had told me i had fell asleep on her couch i would have well believed her but obviously not the case. she said the more sessions you have the easier and deeper you go into it all
she suggested that as im struggling to eat at work to take work away from eating. so she suggested to eat my lunch in my car and to park facing away from the school
i came home and saw my Oz whilst i got my stuff ready for jack's
i grabbed a quick shower and i went at 7pm
one of those days you just do not stop

he was happy to have me over and so was theo
we were making sick jokes and it made me laugh
i was glad i had made the effort to come out instead of being tired round the house
jack cooked me pasta it was good actually even if he was getting distracted by pokemon go whilst cooking >.>
i slept really well too i couldnt believe it was morning

i got up at 6:20am
got myself practically ready and came into the bedroom to find jack where i left him -___-
i know he doesnt do mornings
he made me breakfast and i made him a brew which he was grateful for
then we went to work together
its a lot quicker to work from his place than mine

work was fine
ive even prepped stuff for friday
prepped some stuff for jack too
he was like "you're making me look bad" XD
he was like "go do this"
"done it"
"go do that"
"done it"
"bloody hell jo"
I said "when i get good at something im good"
it was quite satisfying him trying to give me a job and id already done it
thats using initiative for ya 
i did loads today
i found a mouldy lasagne someone had made in the fridge
ive cleaned all the sides in the prep room
im gonna do the office next
so i am slowly getting round it all
and people have said how good it looks lately ^^

lunch time came and i cant say i was fussed about eating
but i had had a headache the whole of yesterday and i think that was down to not eating
and i knew i would have to try it just so i could the hypnotherapist id tried it
but i felt bad leaving jack alone with julia
also i didnt want to look rude
but jack said - in front of julia - you going out for lunch today then jo *hint hint go eat your lunch in your car jo*
damn him >.>
so i went and did that
i came back and had bad anorexic thoughts cus id eaten lunch and thought i was like 20 stone for doing so i only got a bit of stomach ache so i guess on some level it did relax me and i was able to eat. but this leaves me with a lil problem
im gonna have to go eat by myself for a few lunch times now :/
and jack obviously knows my issues and is fine
julia does not
and avoiding her on our only break together could look rude
and id be leaving the two of them together but they seem to get alone fine
so i think tomorrow im just gonna have a little word to her about me and what i need to do for a little while just so she doesnt get the wrong idea about me
we gotta work together as a team at the end of the day and i dont want it to look like i have an issue with her or with jack.
dont wanna look a jerk basically

i came home and got my Ozwald out straight away
id missed him
he'd missed me~
so cuddles and brew was needed and a bit of food as i didnt eat much at lunch
i wanted to dance but dad was home :/
so i packed my stuff away from jack's
looked at a few things online but soon got bored of being on my laptop
so i had a shower and dinner
then my brother and dad went out (not together)
so i decided to dance and do some yoga for an hour
felt better for it 
now just doing my diary and getting stuff ready for 6:15am tomorrow
got yoga tomorrow as well

i finished my new avatar the other day

its cute
and i used it as a banner for facebook as i dont think ive changed mine since i got facebook back in 2014 so that looks fresher