chocolate chips

Evening~~

I slept okish I guess
was awake before my alarm anyway
Oz was going mad for a treat off me this morning
and considering he'd helped himself to the girl's food yesterday
i was not prepared to give into his glutenous ways
besides he never begs me in the morning so i dont know what that was about
he sat on my knee whilst i tried to eat my turkey pieces
then he eyed up the banana and coconut biscuit on the sofa arm
my biscuit I made and had previously offered him on other occasions and on all occasions he has not shown any interest. but this morning as i wasnt giving into him it was like "no gonna get me a treat i'll eat your breakfast then" and helped himself to my biscuit!!!! 
the git
hes eating loads past few days
but he is shedding his coat so whether that has anything to do with it i dont know
and god knows why hes shedding mid way through winter

anyway school
back to back bloody dissections 
christ it was relentless
so much blood, scalpels 
but luckily the lungs didnt smell
the fish did
but the bag of 4 pairs of lungs...ugh all in the same bag
looked like something from a horror scene and i put i gloved hand in and grabbed what i needed
so so gross
but i managed to walk into lesson when the teacher just started dissecting it was good to see as gross as that sounds but she knew how to open it up and show you it all
what did slightly creep me out was when she cut into the lungs was the sound
like wet cake or sponge
dead weird
but i was knackered running around and washing up and getting stuff back out
yeah i was dead

i asked jack how he got on at the pub with chris yesterday
he said it was good and that chris said he needs to do better
i said "what do you mean by better?"
he said "do better for you otherwise youre off"
i just gave him a wistful smile
later on i said to him "we could technically book japan this weekend if you wanted to"
he looked worried and agreed
i said "if you dont want to go NOW is the time to say"
he said "no no i am going. its just, im scared"
i said "well im gonna be bricking it on the day so dont worry"
he said "i feel better knowing i have you there tho"
i said "ive never been dont rely on me"
he said "im not relying on you i just know i couldnt do it alone, having you there makes me feel better"
but i kinda thought to myself i wonder if this is why hes been dragging his feet when it comes to japan, that hes scared. i personally have problem with him feeling scared as like i say i know im gonna be scared on the day and stuff but i just wish he'd voiced this at the start so i could have understood that he was finding it hard to look at japan cus its out of his comfort zone but because he didnt say i just thought he was being lazy and once again leaving things up to me

ive been hungry all day
like from the moment i woke up
so  i txted mum before i came home to say im hungry
and i had a lot of food when i came in and made some biscuits too
more banana ones but this time......i put in the mixture.....
some chocolate chips!!!!! oh yeah X3
technically i shouldnt as of yet eat chocolate but it was a tiny amount and i only eat 1-2 biscuits a day so its not gonna break the bank so to speak
it was literally cus i had nothing else to flavour them with as i ran out of raisins 

we went yoga
there was brand new people
and i decided to mouth of as karen tends to hold back when theres new people
so easy prey
she however make me do harder positions 
but eh Jo never learns XD
then came home and had food

tomorrow is friday
thank bloody god as i have had enough
need the weekend to recover 

plan on treating myself to double codeine tonight, never tried it but i will be fine
i counted today and i take per day 17 tablets
11 are actual medication 
the other 6 are vitamins
its true what jack says - i rattle when i walk