Evening
my god yesterday I was just done
I had worked myself to death I feel
so i got home and fell asleep on my bed, ate dinner and sat with Oz then went to bed at 8:45pm
couldnt stay awake anymore. I didnt do any exercise, despite eating a cookie, a cupcake, a flap jack, biscuits....high sugar day but it was someones birthday at work so it couldnt be helped XD
Today I woke up to my alarm but it made me jump i about leapt up in bed, plush fell on the floor and everything. quickest 9 hours ive ever known >.>
couldnt be bothered with school but I got the day done, no practicals todays which was nice
jack was telling me about he has to pack some more as his mum is taking some of his stuff back to her house for when he moves back home next weekend. then he talked about the bungalow, the decorating and other stuff that needs to be done. and i looked at him and the tears just flowed out. luckily we were alone in the science office. so he cuddled me and asked why i was crying
i said "im sorry, im just so tired. its hard to cope with stuff when youre tired, you know? its just a bit daunting about just how much needs to be done. im this exhausted now just working never mind trying to do a house up, work, and look after myself. i'll be dead jack"
but he consoled me as he usually does and made me a brew and yeah just picked my spirits up which i feel he has to do a lot lately -____- i tell him he could have an easier life with a healthy normal girl but he tells me each and everytime he wants me instead :)
pain clinic finally called me today. so i have got a telephone appointment for 5th october with me usual consultant. and then an actual face to face appointment with the hyper mobility specialist 14th october. so i will need to take the morning off work for that one but i need to go. jack is fine with it all and glad i am getting help - hopefully
today when i got home mummy made me brew, gave me flap jack, microwaved my hot bag and got Oz out on the sofa for me ^^
we went for a walk then i did 40mins of yoga cus you know i seem to enjoy killing myself
jack is packing his stuff up - which is making everything feel much more real to me 0.0
i dont think i am seeing him til sunday night as hes sorting his stuff out tomorrow, sunday he is having a bbq with his friends, i was invited but i feel like i dont have the energy to look happy and healthy for 5 other people. so i opted out there. but he says he will see me in the evening and we will do whatever i like and eat sweet treats. i said "you have your online gaming at 8pm tho for 2 hours" and right there and then he cancelled it. i was surprised actually as he never misses it. i said "why did you do that??" he said "i need a break besides i want to spend some time with you, think you need it as well" which was nice of him but realistically we're still only gonna be spending 2-3 hours with each other which is like 1 hour more than last weekend. but its fine as soon im sure we will be sick at the sight of each other XD
tomorrow
thank god it is the weekend, seriously -_____-
i plan to clean my Ozwald out, do a walk, do some dancing and yeah anything else i feel like doing really.
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