Evening
Once again I couldnt sleep
I also can't remember the last time I slept through the night --____-- im so very tired now
I get teary at the littlest of things I just cant handle anything
Last night I tried to sleep then at 11:30pm mum screamed out having a night terror jesus we ALL heard it so if i didnt have heart issues before then I certainly had them afterwards....jesus
So I got up for a bit and stayed up til 1am
but slept after that til 7:30am
This morning I did 20mins of dance but wasnt really feeling it and gave in and went for a shower
think i went back to bed at 11am i just had enough of everything to be honest, i wanted to be out of pain and thinking and feeling
I woke up at 1pm and had lunch with mum
then looked for christmas presents online, i have almost finished my christmas shopping can you believe! its an achievement then mum decided she wanted to go for a walk
and it threw it down on us --____-- we got soaked, so i came in and got pyjamas on
i stitched some details on to a pair of gloves i got jack for christmas
i have sat with Oz a few times today and the girls
did a bit more squirtle as i wanted to choose colours and i think im there with what colours i want him to have he just looks weird
Keep practicing tsubaki factory ima nanji in the evening when i can, im getting further
I had a cry to mum as im just so fed up of it all right now, being in constant pain with no relief, taking endless pain killers that dont do what they say on the tin, not sleeping, being alone at night, not seeing jack, not seeing anyone, not having anything good to look forward to. heck even halloween has been taken from me! life is just a bit crap right now to be honest. and of course theres the whole business with the house the never ending saga. although jack did tell me today that the solicitors and estate agents are talking about getting a date for keys sorted - think we've all had enough of hearing about the bungalow now. be nice to get a date - some thing to look forward to
Not sure what I am doing tomorrow as of yet
id love to see jack and do something but no such luck
No comments:
Post a Comment