Radiators are changed!!

 Evening

So last night me and Jack did 30mins of yoga. I am not joking when I say the first stretch we did and Jack's body cracked 3 times....his body protests against exercise XD He has had enough at 30mins tho, whereas I could keep going if I wanted to. Its not even a work out or challenge for me but we need to start off small with Jack as his fitness isnt good and just not used to yoga ether really. He does do well in some respects tho and in others he is incredibly stiff....

I brought Oz in after the exercises and Oz and Jack watched 'trash TV' as we call it. Something he used to do whilst he lived with Theo. So he watched with Oz "dinner with my ex" and I had a bath whilst that was on as no way was I sitting through that. I came out and asked how it was, Jack had groomed Oz whilst watching this program and said "my god some people, and our relationship looks amazing in comparison" He sometimes likes seeing these programs as it makes him feel like a better person XD

 I sat with Oz whilst Jack had a bath, we watched Inuyasha and went to bed. Of course I was going to bed with stomach ache cus why not really. But Jack cuddled me and it did help with my anxiety. I fell asleep and slept a bit better.

This morning I died on the toilet. 25 sodding minutes on the toilet. I made us late by 10mins! awful.

Jack tells me to not to stress as it makes me worse and he says its me who suffers no one else. Its awful. I actually felt like weak and dizzy after it, almost like when you're poorly you know? Fed up with it. So my journey to school was plagued with stomach pains.

School was ok really. I mean I was on the floor for an hour just cus I felt awful. My body was so cold and numb and weak. Jack made me a hot drink and warmed my chips up which did revive me a bit. But it was a rough start to my day. I said to Jack today "not sure if I have lost weight this week but I feel like I have I feel like I have nothing in me like im wasting away"

I didnt have to do anything with my bacteria today anyway, no one came to talk to me about it so I didnt do anything with it. Theyre all stressed with marking GCSEs so I left em to it.

We left school and arrived home to find matt just finishing up our radiators!!!!!! he has done an amazing job as always. We have new radiators!!! ones that dont have all colours building up on the piping.....it was worrying. So I spoke to him and he said he would do our kitchen for us ^^ as I think we would like it doing next year :D I am so grateful for him doing our radiators. He said that he couldnt have us ripped off like we were gonna be. Mum had arrived with Oz so she sat with me and had a brew as Jack went for a shower when Matt left. Mum said that dad had been over and with the help of matt had got rid of a pipe in the study which went through the wall to the floor into the garage, we wanted it gone before the carpets came. So that was nice of him :)

Mum left, she had given me my medication for the month ^^ strawberries :D and made cupcakes but only jack can eat those, hence strawberries for me.

I did us dinner. I had gotten two stew looking containers out the freezer last night and heated em up and from looking at them when I got them out the microwave one wasnt stew...one was  my fish soup! Jack would have had it but I had already cooked him rice so he ate the stew one and I had fish soup - the same meal I had at lunch. Strangely I didnt get any stomach pains. So we joked saying I have eat soup for lunch and evenings XD

Jack went to play dungeon and dragons and I sat with Oz, gave him a good grooming, that 2021 coat is showing through and its so cute! I put him home and doing my diary then I will do my workout :)

Not looking forward to it but I would like to manage maybe 40mins? then bath~~

Tomorrow

Jack asked if there was anything I wanted to do this bank holiday

and its hard isnt it as you still cant visit people or do much really. So I suggested travelling to Attenborough nature reserve. Which is a half hour drive away. On the same bit of road is a retail park with quite a few good clothes stores and Jack NEEDS clothes. We dont really want to go into the city centre just yet. So I said we would go there and pop into maybe 4 stores then go to the nature reserve for a walk then go home for lunch. So I would like to get off earlish tomorrow before it gets too busy. 

Probably sleep after lunch, thats the plan.

Also got my weekly weigh in first thing in the morning

better for sleep and my bacteria came in

 Konbanwa~~

I didnt do any exercise last night, had a bath, watched Inuyasha and went to bed I was in bed before 10pm

Silently crying every now and again. Just a crappy evening all in all as I missed out on spending anytime with Jack and didnt do our yoga. I was with him in body but not in mind.

I took a sleeping tablet and this morning did feel better for some sleep, I also didnt have to use the toilet at all this morning! very strange as I was expecting to kick off big style. However I did still have tummy ache which I dont get how you can have for so many hours.

School was ok I didnt feel like a total corpse which was nice

I got bits done and my bacteria came in! I felt my stomach flipflop as soon as it came in and I shedded two tears. Its just stress pure and simple. I literally cant handle anything. I find bacteria stressful but I like it as its good and I like it to go right.

Head of science bought cup cakes in T^T yet another treat I missed out on. 

Mum bought Oz over for us in the evening and she said she had bought me strawberries and forgot them! T^T she did bring the girls over however and that was nice seeing them play out in my garden :D Oz was scaring the birds away, protecting them. I had tea with mum whilst Jack went to game as he is spending a better evening with me tonight and we are about to crack on with yoga in a sec

might have a hot chocolate tonight too~

Tomorrow is friday then 3 day weekend

god bless bank holidays~~

I have however got a lot of hours to spend working with bacteria tomorrow ><

Panic attack over a tire

 Evening

I did manage a bit of exercise last night and left the bath for Jack as he said he would be done gaming at 8:30pm. It got to 9pm and still no Jack. He came down at 9:30pm...

I said "not going to over run you said"

he smiled sheepishly as me

"an hour later Jack"

he was about to sit on the sofa and I said

"no dont you sit down, get in that bath I dont want to see you, you have displeased me"

of course I was half joking, but I was also shattered and wanted to go to bed so as soon as he came out the bath I started to get ready for bed and he said "dont you want to watch inuyasha?"

No I did not I wanted my bed and had been counting the hours til I could climb in it and thats what I did but I kept waking up to jack grinding his teeth, tossing turning and snoring T^T

I woke up feeling ok my stomach from the evening had passed, I ate breakfast and that all ended that peace and quiet. I of course died on the toilet of course I spent another 20+ minutes on the toilet before school. i came off the toilet feeling drained, I was pale and white lipped. I hate this

We dropped Ozwald off which Jack had to round in again for me

we got to school and I felt like death. Julia saw me and said "God jo you look drained"

I said "you know what, that is the exact word I would use as to how I am feeling too"

I spent another working day barely doing anything. I did decide to do some digital drawing for the first time so that felt a bit productive but on the whole it was another long day of being cold all day and in pain, lunch made it worse as well. Could not wait to come home

Jack drove us home but at one the traffic lights, a neighbouring car pointed at my front tire. I put my window down and he said "careful of that tire its looking a bit flat"

So I said thanks and such. I told Jack to be on the look out in case he felt the steering wheel pull.

I txted mum (who had said earlier that dad had come home early) that my tire might be flat could she let dad know so he could maybe check it out upon coming from Oz, I was so dead that I wasnt planning on stopping by mums.

Mum rang me saying dad was listing all the symptoms and solutions of the tire. I could hear Jack saying half sentences next to me - I think he was panicking a bit. His confidence in driving is still not great. So I had mum telling me stuff and him stressing. She said "ask Jack how it feels to drive"

So I asked

but he wasnt stringing a full sentence together

so I said to mum "I would say but hes not talking in full sentences"

Jack absolutely bit my head off. I have never known him  to speak to me like that....

mum heard it down the phone and said "ok...." I cried at that point

stress and pain and broke me.

Mum had been advising we get out the car and have a look but it was hard when I had a stressy learner driver behind the wheel and on main roads. Not gonna happen.

So we luckily got home safe. My dad was there on the drive awaiting, mum was at the front door. Dad pilled out a load of questions before I had fully got out the car, I was still crying and with dad being like that I had a panic attack right there on the drive. Mum told me to get inside, I dont even remember getting inside the house. I couldnt breathe and was hyperventilating and crying mum took me through the the lounge and got Oz for me. Dad and Jack went to look at my car. Whilst dad was busy Jack did come to the lounge window and asked if I was ok. I couldnt look at him. I was so fragile and upset.

They said there was a small hole but wasnt anything much but dad offered to go up to work and fix it for me, Jack went too. Seeing as I would be staying for a while I decided to have a brew with mum and the pigs and Oz which did help. But my stomach felt in such a knot. I knew Id have to eat when I got home but didnt want it. Whats the point? it will only go through me and give me pain.

They came back and my car was at good as new. I thanked dad and he said it was nothing to get upset about. No it wasnt. I wasnt upset about a tire. It was the situation and how I have nothing more to give. I am tired and in pain and can literally handle no more. Today was breaking point. Still shows that I cant cope well mentally.

We got home and did dinner which gave me awful stomach pain. If someone told me that my intestines had burst then I would have believed them. Pain was truly truly bad. I tried to go toilet but nothing happened. I was just meant to suffer.

Tonight me and jack were suppose to do yoga but I cant even stand up right im in that much pain, im weak and tired so I am about to have a bath at 8pm then go to bed. 

I AM DONE

I could have quite easily have cried and gone back to bed when I got up this morning and to be honest I wish I had done that.

Jack insists on staying and keeping me company tonight. God knows why as I am not good company right now. We are just spending time inside with Oz. 

Tomorrow is another endurance test at work

Just another stomach issue day

 Evening

I managed a bit of a work out last night and felt better for it. I was looking forward to my nice hot bath but once I got in I suddenly remembered I was suppose to txt matt as he needs to order our new radiators for Friday! So all I could think about was txting him and not forgetting to txt him. Basically I didnt get to enjoy my bath as I soon hopped out so I could do this radiator thing >< Not fair!

I did have Oz in later than usual tho which was nice.

I was in bed early too which I was grateful for as I needed sleep, but woke up a few times as jack was snoring, grinding his teeth, moving a lot. He obviously doesnt know or mean too but it still disturbs me. I know when he is stressed as thats his sleep behaviour whereas usually hes quiet. The whole GSCE in school is stressing him out.

This morning I was planning on sitting with the massager before school. That did not happen. Heck I didnt even see Oz! I had to go toilet twice!!! I spent 25mins on that bugger this morning!! Literally dying.

It was a horrid way to start my day and when I came out the bathroom I was practically sheet white.

School, my god, school wasnt even bad but because I had literally digested nothing and I had such a bad start to the day I was just weak and dizzy and shattered. It was crap. I like my job but its such an endurance to get through the whole damn day T^T

hardly did anything, well feel like I hardly did anything. Just everything is hard work and feels like I am dragging my body along. It sucks. I also had real bad stomach pains on the drive into school, poor jack driving whilst I was in a ball on the seat. Got into school and was just in a ball in the office. Only Julia saw so its fine.

we came out of school and mum was meeting us at home with Ozwald, I hadnt seen him as Jack had released him as usual but usually I pick him up and put him in carrying case but have a cuddle and fuss of him or bring him in if it raining, but Jack rounded him up this morning to save us time as I was stuck on the toilet. So it was nice to see my Oz. And see mum of course ^^

I did dinner which I wasnt feeling in the mood for but got it done and it was really nice ^^ I would do it again but I make food differently everytime I feel XD

Then we sat with Oz inside as its raining for the first time in ages so he doesnt want to play outside and I dont blame him, not when he could be dry inside frisking us for treats.

I plan on doing a quick easy video just to loosen my body as I feel I have been tense all day then I will have a bath, Jack is having the bath after me and hopefully get another early night :)

tomorrow just school really nothing special.

just hope I digest food and dont waste half my morning on the toilet. Literally dont have time

im hoping that this blood test on 12th may will reveal something like I need more thyroid tablet or iron, something thats a quick and easy fix to make me not feel so much like death.

I held a blackbird :D

 Evening

I 35mins of working out last night, followed by a good pampering ^^ including my nails

I was hoping Jack would finish gaming early so I could have an early night for school, and just as I thought that at 9:10pm he came downstairs! I was very happy ^^

Still took me a while to actually sleep tho >.>

This morning was just a normal morning of getting ready for school and dropping Oz off, Jack does a lot better in the mornings now than what he used to when I first met him, he actually looks happy and smiles and talks :) 

We got to school and met Julia walking in

my day was ok, I mean Jack was fairly stressed with the GCSE's coming in and our responsibilities with them which I tried to help with but he did do a lot him self as he had a system that I feel he just wanted to do himself and not have it go wrong. However, it did go wrong and he was stressy

At 3:20pm Luke and another biologist came up to me saying, "we have an issue that I think it's a Jo problem" I wasnt sure what they were gonna say

"theres a black bird on the stairway near science"

did not see that coming

so I went off with them both, and yes, there was indeed a bird sitting on the higher window ledge on the stair case. So I went running upstairs to where I knew I stored away the net catchers.

came back with net catchers, Jack came and tried to catch it but made it fly higher up the windows to the top ledge. No one would be able to get that without ladders. He left me and Luke with it and walked off. Luke decided to throw the net - javelin style - at the bird which made it fly up the stairs to the next floor. where it went full pelt at a window. With a proper bang the poor thing. I went running up and we decided to try open the windows, however I could that it was starting to get spooked, its eye was closing from where it hit the window and its little heart was racing. I decided to just lunge for it and I did get it!! I swivelled the net round and me and Luke walked outside to the play ground with it.

I gently uncovered the bird but it didnt move. I dont know if it was exhausted or dazed or in shock or a combo, but I picked it up and said I would take it to bushes. Luke said to throw it up in the air let the wind and instinct take it. So I did and it did flap, for about 5 seconds and came back down into the shade and stayed on the floor, another bird went to it. Luke said it was job done as the bird clearly needed rest and to gather it's self.

I was well happy about it all tho. I got to hold a wild black bird!! it was so light too. I was happy I had managed to release it and it was hopefully gonna be ok.

we left a few mins late cus I was waiting for Jack to stop faffing. But when he came round the corner I could tell he was stressed. He said "I am done let get out of here"

I drove back home tho as I wanted to get home but also could tell his mind was else where

we picked Oz up and went to have a cup of tea outside on the picnic blanket with him.

Well I say tea, Jack had rum X3 He said it was needed, which is fine I just wanted him to relax and be happy.

We did dinner and it came out better than I thought as I managed to make a sauce from meat juices, love experimenting with food 

Now I am gonna do my exercises but not too much. Then I will bath then see Ozwald. He is happy having later evenings outside now its lighter for longer outside. It is also a bit warm in the house at times for him.

Tomorrow

Just school really nothing exciting. My bacteria should be coming in this week tho.

saw the guys for the first time this year

 Evening

I did an hour of yoga last night! I would say it was gentle yoga tho as I wasnt out of breath or sweating, I did not want to sweat as I didnt want to wash my hair >< 

I did half the yoga with Oz, the other half I booted him outside XD he was round me too much and was hungry so I let him have a late evening outside which I think he did enjoy :)

I asked Jack for attention. I did try to wait for 10pm. It was 9:10pm when I wanted attention, I managed to wait a whole 30 mins XD til I caved in and asked for attention, as he wasnt playing with anyone he was fine coming off, so we did have a bit of an early night. However it still seemed to take me past 11pm to get to sleep I think that was because I had rested and slept so much during the day ><

This morning I woke up and thought the time was 8:30am but it was actually in the region of 6am....so I got up for nothing -_____- I tried to get back to sleep after I had gotten up for a wee and to do my teeth, I laid there next to jack for 30mins but it was no use, I was aching and gave up. We both got up. Even tho it was early he didnt complain once and in fact we both got some chores done before we went shopping! He hoovered the whole house and I did the bathroom~

we went food shopping and was all done and dusted in 40mins

we unpacked when we got back and then had a brew, we did my soup together, whilst it cooked I cleaned Oz out, he helped a bit with it :) but in all honesty he has done very little today >.>

after lunch we went to go meet Harvey and Theo, we walked round the park with them and then went to Harveys back garden for a quick drink as it has been warm again. It was good to see them. Guys just make fun of one another all the time XD Harvey offered us a house tour, I know you shouldnt go to one another's houses right now but we felt a quick house tour wouldnt hurt. I noticed the little bits that were different from last year. And I mean little. He has had his house longer than us and we have done like the whole house! He hasnt done much at all in comparison. Its still very raw looking like nothing painted or proper flooring. But he seems ok about it. I on the other hand needed to make my house feel like a home ASAP as I didnt feel settled or relaxed. But thats just me. 

The mess on the other hand....whilst we were walking harvey said he had tidied up yesterday and that the house was still tidy. His version or tidy is clearly very different XD  there was no surface area that was available for use! clutter everywhere and clothes, stuff from easter, pots, their stuff. Yeah I couldnt live there. Even Jack came away and said the same things! and said he much prefers how we live and our home. What harvey had decorated was very him which I liked. its retro looking in places, bit nerdy in another and a bit arty in another. yes I like how its not conventional.

we came away around 3pm as I had had enough and couldnt sit in those outdoor seats.  On the way home tho, I said a snide remark about jack's driving as he was driving and I know I stress him out time to time being a bad passenger and I had asked him to drive today, as it was good practice for him to drive somewhere thats not to the supermarket or work. He instantly snapped back and I managed to stay quiet the rest of the journey as he threatened to pull over and let me drive ><

I got out the car and went for a wee when I got in, then went to jack as he laid on the sofa and cuddled him and apologised. He instantly apologised back. I got a bit upset. I felt awful. I had said something critical about his driving for no reason. It was said out of pain and tiredness and a need to get home fast. I should have kept my thoughts to my self. It was wrong and I felt horrible. So i was very sorry and shedded a few tears. Jack said it wasnt worth getting upset over and that he understood why I came out with it. He knows how I get. So we were all good as we went and sat outside with Oz and a brew.

Honestly we wouldnt be good in a argument or anything as we dont cope well with being mad or hurtful towards one another! best way to be ^^

We sat out with Oz til dinner, I did dinner and then got stuff ready for school, chose a nail design for later and got Oz inside, I did sit and fuss him but its a bit warm inside for him right now so I have let him go outside for an evening play which I know he enjoys. I just like to make sure he gets attention as well :)

I am going to do about 20 mins of exercise as I do not want to overdo it for work, I did a walk earlier so its not like I havent done anything.

Then I am going to enjoy my bath and pamper myself ^^ hair oil and face sheet~

tomorrow

school again T^T cant believe how fast the weekend goes by, but all well. sure I will get through it all somehow :)

first hair cut of the year, such a treat to be tidy

 Evening~~

I managed 35mins of exercise last night which wasnt too bad once I got into it.

I had a good hot bath which made me pant XD

Jack was late coming downstairs by 15mins - not realising the time, he apologised but it was ok, had it been a school night I would have had more to say but it wasnt worth it. His eyes looked awful tho like he hadnt blinked in the 4 hours he had been gaming.....

we were in bed for 11pm and I was just done, think it took me minutes to get to sleep and I slept through til 8am and that was without sleeping tablets!

This morning we had an easy morning, apart from dying on toilet and Jack kindly helped me wash my hair over the bath so I wouldnt need to shower, I still go to the hair dressers with wet hair as I do not like other people doing it.

I also had my weekly weigh in, I have lost 0.5kg so I am now 63.1kg, to say I havent been able to exercise as hard and I have still lost, its an achievement. But what was more of an achievement to me was that I have go up 1% of muscle!!! woo! so I am at 44% now! I feel more progress with gaining muscle than losing weight

My god the luxury of having my hair cut!!!!! I did stick to having a good inch off and she put my layers back in and shaped the front it was amazing. I had brought her flowers before my appointment and I was glad I had as she had earned em~

I went straight to mum's taking her a bouquet of flowers also and my dad some chocolates.

she kindly dyed my hair for me using 'light golden brown' hair dye I had in the cupboard, I would have had a lighter colour but I need to use my stock. It came out quite dark tho I mean it is light brown but it had really taken as my hair had gone quite strawberry blond! I also cut truffles fur and she let me, doesnt like mum doing it but lets me X3 and she looked so much better ^^ I washed my hair dye out and went home to jack as in 40mins time he had a driving lesson.

we ate lunch together watching fruits basket then he went for his 2 hour driving lesson.

I on the other hand went to bed. I slept for 90mins, got up and went to lay in the sun on my picnic blanket with Ozwald, waiting for Jack to come home.

He came back and we had tea outside he told me hes ready to book his test! so no more lessons until he can get a test and the waiting line is longggg. I suggested going for a walk, I was tired and happy were I was an Oz seemed happy I didnt want to put him home.

Jack said "we dont have to go for a walk"

I said "I feel like I need to be doing something tho"

he said "sitting outside with me and Oz IS doing something"

and yeah he is right, he said it is ok to relax, and yes he is right!

so we sat out for almost 2 hours just in the sun lazing around really, it was nice as it was perfect temperature.

We came in to do food, I cooked whilst Jack had a shave and shower.

we had food and I thought I would try my new UV red heat lamp, my goodness it is hot!!! 

after sitting in front of it for 15mins I ended up dying on the toilet. Life is not fair T^T

Jack groomed Oz outside as he is losing his 2020 coat. So thats me who had a hair cut, truffs had a cut, jack had a shave, Oz had a groom. We've all been tidied up today!

I have bought Oz inside now :) Hes having a hop round and demanding more treats everytime someone comes through the door -_____- hes a treat fiend.

I plan to do some gentle yoga after this and then maybe some drawing, not sure. I havent touched my drawing in a while ><

Tomorrow

we have the weekly food shop, few chores as usual and then after lunch we should be meeting Harvey and Theo for a walk in the park as we are allowed to do that now so that should be nice as not actually seen them this year!

he actually licked his wee

 Evening

I started doing my work out last night, seeing as Oz had nothing but laid down all evening and my exercises were slow floor ones, I figured I could do my exercises with him.

No

Just no

What turned from a 10 min exercise video was about 25mins by time I had finished. That was all because Oz thought I was doing everything on the floor for him and that he wanted fuss when I am doing exercises, then cus I wasnt giving him as much fuss as he liked,he thought he would go toilet which was great as it was on his sheeting, however he did a wee which I thought "Ill get that up in a min when I have finished" til I watched him licking at his wee puddle.............

-__________________________________________-

seriously Oz!?

just grim, so I made him go along his way and the cleaned that up, ahhhhhhhhhh rabbits

I took him home after 1 10min video and did the other 10min video in peace

so I only did 20 mins and they were the videos I usually use for warmup but I struggled to do them in my exhausted state, however I did feel better for doing them and was grateful I could do them.

We were in bed for 10pm as I was just done, it took me a while to get off to sleep and this morning when my alarm went off I felt I could have slept for much longer.

school was tiring once again, I got what I needed to get done, done. I managed the A-level practical which wasnt that hard. I had a hot chocolate at work that jack made for me as i needed it. its the same one I have at home sometimes thats made with water. I missed having Julia there. Year 11 left today so I no longer have their lessons to prep

Mum bought Oz over for us, we sat in the garden on the picnic blanket in the sun drinking tea which was nice and it was nice to see mummy.

we did dinner which was just reheating leftovers out the freezer, god bless that freezer.

I died. Food killed me. It killed me after breakfast this morning, to which I spent almost 15mins on the toilet. I had stomach ache all morning then it was made worse by lunch. Then real bad stomach pains after dinner to which I was in a ball for about 45mins

life sucks. Like I dont suffer enough. 

So now I am inside with Oz who is snoring like really snoring --______-- what will I do with him....

depending on how my stomach feels depends on if I can manage some exercises.

tomorrow

oh my god tomorrow, its my hair cut and it feels like an actual treat like a present.

My hair is as long as my bra strap and covers my nipples. never thought it would be so long. I thought I wanted it this long, I have been growing it for years so achieve this length but I am actually not enjoying it. Its TOO long. I am finding it hard to manage. So I would like a good inch taken off and my layers put back in too. My appointment is at 10:30am then I will go straight to mum's as she will dye my hair for me ^^ just a wash in colour to freshen it up and make it soft. I will also be cutting Truffle's fur as its gone a bit crazy again. Then I will come home and Jack has a driving lesson at 1:30pm for 2 hours so I will be home alone for a bit, I have no idea what I will do but I will entertain myself somehow I am sure.

CAN NOT WAIT FOR HAIR CUT!!!

Just exhausted on my first week back

 Evening

Last night both me and Jack did yoga! It was a first, and it went well we did a good half hour. Jack actually did really well. His body cracked a lot like it was protesting XD

We had baths and then watched Inuyasha together and went to bed, I didnt take a sleeping tablet but I was out like a light. I was tired.

I could have easy gone back to sleep after my alarm this morning but school awaits

I struggled to get Oz, I made him jump and he ran behind my cabinet in the garage so I couldnt get him. I put my shoes on and as we were leaving I thought I would check where he is and if he was in the same place then I would have to leave him and txt mum to ask her to collect him in a bit but he has stepped out of it so I scooped him up and took him mum's. Bunny is more stress than its worth! 

School was difficult on me. As once again my pain killers did nothing all day. So I am cold and in pain and it took such a toll on my body. I think I slept for half hour in the corner I just couldnt function. I felt awful that I had done that but I guess its that or go home for the entire day. 

The whole day I was tired tho I had a few people say I looked tired, cus I was!

I managed to get a fair bit done tho but not as much as I liked and it stressed me out but Jack is there to calm me down and lift my spirits.

We collected Oz from mum as I didnt want to stay or have her over as I couldnt be bothered to speak. So we got home, I had a lot of pain relief, a sweet cup of tea and laid out in the warm sun on my picnic blanket. I had Oz hopping on it a few times X3 

We did dinner which didnt take a lot of doing then I laid on the sofa conked out really jack had to wake me otherwise I wouldnt sleep tonight >< I am now inside with my Oz who looks as tired as I do

I will do a few exercises when he is home but not much as I am not up to it!

Tomorrow

is friday and thank bloody god! I have a lot to do tho as Julia is going to a funereal so shes not in, we are covering for her, I am also having ago at another A-level practical but its with Luke so theres no pressure XD

Jo did science!

 Evening

I did 30mins of exercise then went for a bath, Jack had the bath after me and we were in bed for 10;30, I slept well again as I was knackered

we got up work and dropped Oz off who didnt want to go to mum's and sounds like he hasnt done much ether at mums!

I was anxious I admit. I was worrying about looking stupid in front of head of biology and Julia's daughter. I saw Julia and asked how her daughter was and she said she was nervous.

I prepped the lesson, Jack gave me a bit of support and then I had other lessons to prep

After break came my root tip practical. I let the class in and went up to Julia's daughter and asked her if she was ok she replied "nervous" I said "me too!"

I had to let her get on with it and follow instructions myself as shes assessed on following instructions, I didnt want her to lose marks because of me. I was sweating and nervous as head of biology was on the other side of the desk watching us T^T although I know mine counted for nothing, I just didnt wanna look stupid.

However I was very successful!!!! There's like a 10% chance of seeing Mitosis in action and I caught it in action! Head of biology was very pleased and asked me to take a photo of what I had done, so here is my root tip Mitosis~

I was so relieved and pleased with myself too ^^ Julia's daughter hadnt been as successful so she used my microscope slide 

I packed up and came downstairs for a tea and a snack and Jack was very proud ^^

I got the rest of the day done and at the end of the day I went to ask Head of Science if I could do my biology GCSE and he was totally supportive but said to not bite off more than I could chew. He said I was doing well with managing things and doesnt want me getting stressed and poorly. I told him not to worry, teachers had told me I could pass it in a year however I feel I could do this but it would come at a price of being stressed and poorly and probably not at work much! So I will pace myself with this and there is no rush ether. But it's nice I can grow, better myself and be supported ^^

I came back to mum's rather exhausted, pain killers once again havent worked so I took an extra one which has taken the edge off. We had a brew with mum and collected Oz then we went for a walk once we had got changed at home. 

Got home and microwaved our leftovers, after dinner I cooked my turkey for tomorrow and now this evening me and Jack are gonna do some yoga together! We have never done this, but jack's muscles are so tight from sitting for long periods of time and hunching that I feel he needs some help and stretching. Then its bath time and Oz and anime and yeah

Also his new earrings have all come today so I can see what those look like in him.

Tomorrow us just another day at school really

Oh yes and I booked my blood test for 12 may ><

Got practicals to do tomorrow

 Evening

I did an easy 30mins last night of exercise then enjoyed my bath, Jack came off his PC early for me as I wanted an early night, I was quite done in. I slept through the night til my alarm also ^^

This morning, the magpie came for Oz again! But we were quicker acting this time so scared it off before it could peck Oz, it had already started to chase Oz off tho. I went to fuss Ozwald and he gave me licks to say he was ok but he actually didnt move so I bought him inside. I was dying on toilet for a bit this morning, I had stomach ache last night and felt my stomach was twice the size, this morning I died and it looked like I had digested nothing from yesterday -_____- I ended up making us a bit late actually.

School was ok, just did a lot of tedious tasks. The school was slightly warmer than yesterday, that doesnt mean the boiler is fixed tho it is still cold and I was still sat next to the fan heater, but my toes and fingers werent stinging today.

I told head of biology that I want to do my biology qualifications and she was really pleased about that. I just need to run it by head of science and then maybe I can start my qualifications in september :) 

She also spoke to me about a few practicals she wants me to have a go at to see if I can get them to work. Also Julia's daughter is doing a practical tomorrow as she missed it months ago, so she is doing a catch up practical, as she is the only one doing it and feels like it would be some what intense to do it one on one with head of biology, Julia has asked that I do it with her. This is good practice for me too. So I have that to prep and do tomorrow! I am somewhat nervous as I feel it will highlight just how crap I am at science. So I feel quite nervous! 

I got home to find mum in my garden with the pigs and Oz which was quite nice and then me and mum sat on my picnic blanket whilst jack drank his tea inside in the peace and quiet XD

She delivered my parcels which was nice of her and then went home with girls who enjoyed their play time on the grass X3

We did dinner which was a bit of a chore as its just hard work doing that dinner but thats the last time I have got to cook til saturday!

Food gave me stomach ache and almost 2 hours later I am still suffering. Proper pains in my stomach. Gods sake man its so unfair. And my pain killers have done nothing all day I may as well have not taken them. So I have been in pain all day and suffered in the morning with my stomach and this evening. Not fair at all

I bought Oz in for some fuss but hes laying out like hes had a hard day when mum has told me hes laid out under the cherry blossom tree all day >.> what a life

I will attempt some form of exercise but nothing much then enjoy my bath, Jack is having the bath after me as he isnt gaming with anyone tonight.

Tomorrow is just school really, I am nervous about doing that practical right in front of head of biology. I am even nervous about prepping it even tho I know what I am doing! I just worry about looking dumb in front of her.

Back to school for the last term

 Konbanwa~

So last night I just did an easy 30mins of exercise, hardly exerted myself really

Had a bath after epilating my legs, my god the hair....XD

Once I was out the bath I went to see jack as it was 9:15pm and I was wondering what time he was finishing up with harvey and theo as I did not want to be left alone to stew with my thoughts. He happily came off for me tho and we had hot chocolate ^^

I slept pretty well, we were in bed for 10pm much to my relief and I did sleep ok, I was quite surprised! I had taken a sleeping tablet so I suppose that helped

We dropped Oz off this morning and went to work

work wasnt too bad actually, like on the whole, just not too bad. I had 1 practical and that was ok. So I cant complain too much. I had just started to flag around 2:30pm but made it through the day!

We collected Oz as mum was going out for a walk with her friends so didnt have time for us but that was fine as I was tired, hungry and need of pain killers so I was kinda glad to get home.

We got home and laid the picnic blanket out and sat outside with Oz having a cup of tea which did help chill me out a bit. 

We did dinner and I put washing on, and washing away. Got some stuff ready for school tomorrow, chosen my exercises for tonight which I think I will do the same 3 as yesterday which totals up to half an hour which is enough right now.

Jack is currently outside grooming Oz as he has started shedding so I asked Jack to do it as hes better at it than me in a way as Oz seems to sit for him and let him do it rather than me!

I will then sit with Oz, put him to bed, do exercises and have a bath. Think Jack is gaming with harvey for a bit tonight.

My anxiety was quite bad this morning felt a bit like I could be sick. Like I was gonna sit an exam or something. I am hoping I won't be as bad tomorrow. I did cope at school but felt like if something was to go wrong then I wouldnt be able to handle it kinda thing. Yeah just a bit fragile of mind I guess. But hopefully tomorrow I will ok tomorrow~

Oz was attacked and school tomorrow

 Evening

I stuck by my promise to jack and only did 30 mins of exercise last night, had a nice bath and watched inuyasha with jack~

I couldnt sleep tho, was worrying a bit about school to be honest and that kept me up til gone midnight T^T I woke up at 6am but managed to sleep a little til 7:20am when I couldnt hold the wee any longer and my god it was massive XD

We had an easy morning and I sat with a face sheet on and had the massager on my legs it was nice :)

we went food shopping at 9:30am, I had died on the toilet before we came out tho...I swear to god it best not be nerves that is doing my stomach. These last 2 weeks my stomach has been quite good to be honest. I am really hoping I dont go back to stomach upset this week as it means that its the stress of school that is doing me. Not that i have stressful job, but i think its cus i survive of adrenaline to get me through the day and that is draining my system and pumping me with hormones. I just find the school day hard to get through a lot of the time.

we got back and unpacked, had a brew. I cleaned the bathroom whilst jack prepped my soup, i got my soup on and went to clean Oz out. Jack was hoovering when I came in so I didnt want to ask him to stop to blend my soup as he usually does for me so I did it myself. Well i got soup down my top, splashed it all up the tiles above the cooker, over the bread board and to  cap it off I broke it!!! my god. I told jack not to enter the kitchen til i had cleared up as he had cleaned it all the other day...all his hard work. yeah i make mess...

I had my fish soup and then after I let my stomach settle as its a bit fragile today

we went to wilkos as we wanted a mouse trap, my dad gave me one out his shed last night but it is one that kills and both me and jack cant bare to kill it. We took the trap to shut dad up but we had no intention of killing it. So we bought a humane one that catches it. We got a few other bits nothing exciting. but we walked through a park on our way home

we had a brew when we came in and put the trap out

I then got my picnic blanket and sat outside, Jack joined me 15mins later and then oz decided to join us XD we then came in to do some dinner. I havent been on the right planet all day, i think my mind is else where namely worrying about school pointlessly. So i started doing tomorrow's dinner! so now we have fish marinating in our fridge XD im sure it will be ok for tomorrow tho. I got on with tonights dinner which went well and jack was happy.

After dinner I looked on ebay for new piercings for jack as he never buys them i always do and i get bored of looking at the same old ones so i bought him some fresh ones. He left to go play with harvey and theo! he is no longer doing his sunday night raids! I am glad as he sounds happier ^^

I was then looking for footless tights for me for work, watching Oz outside when a magpie camee into the garden and started attacking Oz!!!! I got out my seat thinking Oz would chase it off but he kept hopping away, the magpie was wary but kept going after him!! I started yelling Oz's name running to get out the house, I watched Oz got pecked twice on his back!!! my poor baby!!! I scooped him up and found jack had ran from his PC hearing me shout Oz and was stroking him in my arms and said to bring him in, then Jack cuddle my side and Oz put a paw on each of our chests like he wanted both of us. I have since given him treats on the lounge floor, he relaxed and laid out then the magpie flew into the garden, Oz jumped up and was listening to the magpie! how the hell did he know the magpie was there!? so I calmed him down and fussed him. Bless him! hes only been attacked once and that was by molly when truffle and tillie were babies she was protecting them! But he is ok we couldnt see anything up with him. But he has gone to bed with 2 pieces of popcorn tonight instead of 1 X3

Mum sent me photos of places shes been putting her 6 molcar plush/keychains -____- XD honestly, she says I have a plush problem! They are cute tho X3 I have put mine on my keychain for the garage

Im about to get my stuff ready for school tomorrow >< I am ok, I like my job I want to be able to get on with my job without this pointless, irrational anxiety!! But it is the last term before summer holidays! I can do this, my next holiday is June 1st for a week~

I am taking a herbal sleeping tablet tonight, might treat myself to a hot chocolate too ^^

so tomorrow is school, we will be back into the routine of dropping Oz off in the morning and stuff. Should all be ok, i just struggle with working 8 hours

dad's birthday of grumpiness

 Evening~~

I managed an hour of exercise last night and was quite done in, Jack did finish gaming at 10:30pm then we watched inuyasha, I struggled to sleep tho. Took me til after midnight. Then I woke up at 6am...kept waking up til 7am as I knew my alarm was due to go off but once I saw Jack was up I managed to stay in bed til 7:30am but I was aching and needed pain killers. I was just so tired!!!

Jack went for his driving lesson, his first one of 2021 cus of lockdown. He left at 8am, I got ready and stripped the bedding and put it in the wash just my normal house stuff that has to be done and by 9am I had set off for a walk to the post office for a parcel I had missed. I came back and my mum had rang me as I left my phone at home cus I hate taking it. She was ringing to say that despite it being dad's birthday he was in a bad mood and had a bad day at work. However he didnt even need to go to work so I had no sympathy for him just sympathy for mum.

Jack came home at 10am and we had a cup of tea together then I went to bed for a catch up sleep that took me til lunchtime XD we had lunch and then I washed my car for the first time at my own house! jack helped me set up the hose pipe and helped me put it away. He was off paying bills on his computer. Then he was happy as his new power supply had arrived for his PC he just a bit apprehensive about fitting it.

We sat outside on my picnic blanket! first time we have used it, its friggin massive! like takes up half our lawn! it was lovely weather and Oz enjoyed the company of course.

We then went to mum's at 4pm, to find dad not home....I was like "where is he?" mum who looked rather peed off saying "he popped out to drop some keys off he said he would be 20 mins, hes been gone 2 hours. Wish I hadnt bothered. Ive got ready a BBQ and made a cake" I felt sorry for her cus yeah she did not look happy. However everyone cheered up eventually - basically when everyone apart from me had had a drink did people start to relax.

I cooked the BBQ which was so tasty - different flavoured meat for me basically XD

I ate a fair bit just to keep me quiet. As everyone was having cake afterwards T^T 

We ate outside and me and jack sat on the picnic blanket, Oz wasnt that fussed about us he was more interested in the guineas and the plants. 

Dad appreciated my gift. Thank god as he is so hard to buy for. We left at 7pm and came home with Oz who is tired and laying out on the floor right now.

I will take him to bed in a minute

jack is gaming with theo and maybe harvey soon too. Then he will have  the bath after me and we will watch Inuaysha and go bed. We did start watching fruits basket today for our lunch time viewing.

Mum gave me 3 breakfasts worth of leftover BBQ meat :D :D :D 

tomorrow

chore day and shopping day really

The wooper and mouse

 Konbanwa~~

I managed 1 hour of exercises last night but they weren't hard. No cardio or anything. We had digimon the movie on whilst I did it. Then I had a rather hot bath. Jo's face was red ><

It took me til gone midnight to get to sleep tho, then for a change I didnt wake up at 6am!! I slept through til 8am ^^ which was nice, however I then needed to get over to mum's in case my lighting came. But at 8:10am she txt me to say they had arrived!! I was very lucky indeed as it meant I know longer had a rushy morning. 

Chris txt to say he was gonna come over to fix Jack's computer. So I decided to go to mum's as it was gonna be nerd talk, then Jack potentially gaming with Theo in the afternoon then dungeon and dragons tonight. So basically - a long day by myself. I would go to mum's for company. I took my lunch over ^^

I sat in the kitchen drawing on my laptop whilst she made her soup then I helped her with tomorrows BBQ meat. We sat with the girls, had lunch and yeah it was nice. A parcel came for my brother which I knew what it was - he had ordered all 6 of the Piu Piu Molcars!! theyre plush key chains but too big to be key chains theyre freaking huge and very cute so I video called him asking if we could open them and he said we could so we did a live unboxing XD Luckily my big ball shelves came too so I had 2 rather big boxes to fit in my car! I came home at 1pm as mum was seeing a friend. I had been over 3 hours which was nice and mum appreciates the time with me :) make the most of it whilst I am off.

I came back and Jack was about to start the mowing of our lawn. First time we have cut it as we moved in during winter. He did well but needs to cut the sides by hand with sheers yet >.> I kept Oz inside with me incase he wasnt sure on the noise of the lawn mower. He wasnt too bad actually. Then Jack helped me get my lights and shelves out my big boxes and we turned the boxes into massive tunnels for Oz and put them into the garage which he likes. However when we did this we found the mouse!!! it was in the corner of a shelf! it had climbed up the lawnmower handles and onto a shelf where Oz's food is (fresh unopened bags) and nibbled the corner and helped it's self! So we have had take everything indoors now which is a pain as its storing it all.

I had a sleep as my body needed it which is very frustrating. Feel like theres something wrong with me lately with how much I want to sleep!

We had dinner which was leftover stew and tasty. Then I was just on the internet whilst Jack showered. When he came out the shower I made him hang up the wooper painting! its gone with the other art work I have done for him on his study wall :) He loves it.

Im just with Oz now, I have exercises to do. Jack is gaming til late tonight cus some people werent on till late :/ He did ask me tho.

Tomorrow

I need to go post office to collect a missed parcel, dont think its anything exciting not compared to the Molcars! I might walk to the post office if the weather is ok in the morning.

Not sure what I will do rest of the day but it is my dad's birthday so we have been invited to go over for a BBQ as whatelse is there to do really. I think my mum said I might be cooking it but she will let me know. I dont mind ether way.

Anyway here is the wooper~

Jack's computer is broken

 Evening

So last night me and Jack had a good evening together, its been a while since we have done something like that together. I started off doing 45mins of yoga which Oz joined in with X3

Then I ran a bath an put a face scrub on with Jack, I went in the bath and washed then invited Jack to join me ^^ I was in the bath him for a bit then left him to wash as you cant wash with 2 people in the bath.

The whole time we were in the bath we were by the light of a vanilla candle, I took the candle into the bedroom and turned the bunny lamp on, put face sheets on and we gave each other a half hour massage which was nice and I hurt Jack a bit as his muscles are so tight from lack of use! we then laid under the blanket just in pants. It was nice to be so relaxed 

we both had hot chocolate and watched Inuyasha then went to bed.

I woke up at 6am needing a wee but tried not to get up, when I kept waking up for that same wee I did decide to get up at 7am I left jack in bed tho

I was suppose to be going a walk with mia in the morning but never heard from her til 11:30am

Which was roughly the time I had been woken up by Jack, after doing all my chores I was tired. jack woke me up and told me his computer had broke, smoke and everything...not good.

We had lunch and then mum came over to help me clean. She did my windows and a bit of dusting.  Jack cleaned the whole kitchen including inside of cupboards it looks much better. I dusted and also finally sorted out my dressing table! I can finally do my hair, make up and skin care there! 

I was done in afterwards. Mum didnt stick around as the girls had come over to play in our garden for the first time! they were ready to go home so mum took them home. I went to bed after finishing my wooper picture! it is done!! 

Jack woke me up at 5pm to do dinner, i did not want to get up but he made me a brew so its all good

after dinner i spoke to my brother. its dads birthday on saturday

now im typing with one hand and stroking oz with the other

jack is on his laptop with me. i have my exercises to do nooooooo

Tomorrow

probably will have to go over to mums at some point as my lighting is being delivered typically. Said 3-4 weeks so i didnt get it delivered here as in 3-4 weeks id be back at school. however it was delivered within the week! so i could have got it sent here after all! so if mum goes out tomorrow i will have to go house sit and wait for post man. 

I havent got much else in mind, chris may come over to help fix jack's computer

Finished my hours and sick of being tired

 Konbanwa~

I managed 30 mins of exercise last night but they were slow easy videos. I just about managed, had a nice bath then jack had the bath after me, we watched an inuyasha special - about 40mins long and went to bed. I had a lot on my mind so took me a while to sleep then woke up at 6am and then kept waking up til 7am when I finally had enough of waking up constantly i got up at 7:10am and woke jack up.

We got ready for work and put the stew on, Oz had been out for a stretch but put him home with carrot.

We got to school to find it dead, people said before the holidays "yeah i plan on being in on the second week" no one was in XD no one wants to be there. I thought I had 4 hours to do left on my time sheet. I actually only had 1 left and ended up doing 2 hours today therefor i am owed an hour. As I cant leave early or start late to gain that hour back - cus i travel with jack - I will have to have a long lunch sometime! 

we got bits and pieces done, probably the most interesting bit was putting away our chemical order that had arrived. We had ordered a fair amount.

We left and came home for about 11:15. We had a brew and a sit then had lunch. Mia asked if we could go for a walk tomorrow morning which i was rather relieved about as I just felt so god damn tired. I am getting so fed up and frustrated of being tired. I did some house jobs, which made me want to cry and give up and go home and just give up on living away from home. I had had enough. simple.

I thought I would calm down and work on my painting. Literally did about 15mins and my mum showed up. I wasnt in the mood to be honest, I didnt know she was coming over. She bought the girls new outdoor pen for MY garden. It is this cheap horrid thing that required a lot of making and breaking of nails getting the clips on to hold the thing together. I was tired, achy, cold and I have also had an infected middle finger for 3 days that wont stop leaking puss. So having to put clips on with that was horrible. I lost my temper and ranted off at mum. She finished the job. I teared up and apologised. She said it was fine understood. Ive just had enough basically.

She came in and had a tea with me. I did calm down but I still couldnt be bothered to talk. She left me and I did a bit more of my painting. I would have loved to have gone to sleep but I knew if I did I would have screwed up going to sleep tonight. I bleached my eyebrows as I hated them.

We did dinner which took like 5mins as it was just a yorkshire pudding in the oven and dishing up the stew thank god for the easy dinner. 

Now just doing diary and going to see Oz for a bit

but tonight we said we would have a night together as havent spent any actual time together this holiday other than decorating. We said we would do face packs, a bath, massage one another and watch anime. Actual time together. Should be nice

Tomorrow

Maybe going for a walk with mia and the dogs tomorrow morning I am unsure how she has time off work but I will ask her. Shes also having her house valued tomorrow! I hope she lives even closer to me ^^ as of now she lives a 25min walk

Then after lunch my mummy is coming over to help me clean the house :D

Finally went shopping and Oz's cage photo

 Konbanwa~~

I was grateful to be in bed last night on time. I was done in, even the simple exercises took it out of me. I only did 25mins and I was just exhausted. I went to bed and slept til 6am then 7am which is when i got up, I thought I would have shed loads of time before I would need to go over to mum's but I was wrong...

I went to see Oz and half his face was wet and my heart sank as I thought "hes got an eye infection or has he got a blocked tear duct?" so I woke jack up and told him and he was like "could be from his water bottle" but that felt to easy. I decided to get ready and give Oz's face time to dry - if it would dry

Upon leaving the house I thought I would check him,he was stuffing his face in the garden, came running over and had a treat from me - all normal happy healthy bunny behaviour. His face had dried a bit. I studied him, looking in his eye lids and noticed round the back of his face towards his ear was wet rather than the eye area. I told jack to ring me if he thinks Oz isnt good but it was looking like a wet face from a water bottle.

I went over to mum's and was lucky enough to catch the girls still inside so I had a quick cuddle then we went off to TK MAXX we were both prepared for queues and to even come away if it looked too busy. But we got in the shop just fine and it was just dead inside like no one in there it was quite strange and not what we expected. I picked up A LOT of bargains as they had stuff to shift as the seasons has changed, I picked up bunny things as easter has been and gone and the shops remained closed. So both me and mum spent £190 however about £50 of my spending was on Jack which he will pay me back for.

We got back and had a cup of tea and then lunch, the we put mum's purchases away and I did a couple of little jobs but it got to 2pm I was tired, I had heard from Jack at lunch time saying Oz's face was dry and his water bottle was dripping a bit....I was worried again for nothing Ozwald -____-

that rabbit will be the end of me one day!

I am relieved and very grateful as he is my life, here's his repainted cage~

I came home at 2pm and brought my bags in then went straight for Oz, bought him in for a fuss whilst I showed jack my purchases.  I was so tired tho after putting it all away and sorting a few bits out that I went to sleep next to jack for 45mins. Did dinner then had Oz inside again. My brother rang me and we talked a bit about stuff and now doing diary. its like 8pm and I have some form of exercises to do.

Jack and mum said I need to take it easy I am always tired and burning myself out. I need a few easy days I just find 'easy' days difficult >< 

my mum enjoyed today tho I can tell. She enjoys quality time with me and we havent been shopping together in months so it was nice. and I finally got some new things i wanted too.

Tomorrow

We are going into work for a couple of hours. Just cus I said I would not because I want to. I still have 4 hours to do on my time sheet so yeah doing 2 now and 2 in june half term then I finish with like 2 days spare XD but it will be boring going in tomorrow >.> and mia has txt to say if i want to do a walk so thats typical.

actually going shops tomorrow

 Konbanwa

I slept well but did take me til midnight to settle down. I woke up at 8am but left jack in bed for a little while. We did get up and ready tho and picked Oz up from mum's at 9:30am as we both missed him. We got back and I did some chores, whilst waiting for Mia to turn up.

She came at 10:30am with my dad's birthday card I ordered off her etsy account - lazymonkeydesigns

Looks really good I am pleased with it and said I would leave her a review

I enjoyed my walk but from the moment I woke up I have been pale and tired today, just dead energyless and my heart feels like it is working harder to keep up with the average day. So I was quite shattered when I came in. 

I had lunch then jack looked at me and said "why dont you have a nap" thats jack's way of saying 'you look like death and need rest' however I still had many things I wished to do. He talked me through things like things that dont NEED to be done today. And hes right. So I went to bed. I stayed there for 2 hours and woke up to jack gaming. He has done things today, he did some legal stuff for the house, changed all my sockets and light switches in the craft room, hoovered and tidied the craft room and moved my dressing table into there. So he has helped me a lot today but I think some of it was because he could see how dead I was today

This afternoon I sat and worked on my canvas. Its coming together a lot more and seems to make us laugh as well. Its such a smug Wooper XD which calmed me down a bit as I just ached so much it was starting to stress me out. I think what has made my condition so bad is that I was outside in -1c for almost 3 hours doing Oz's cage in all positions. It does look amazing and like a new hutch so it was worth it and it protects it too. If he cage ever goes outside again XD

Oz played outside til 8pm whereas usually i bring him inside for his evening play between 7-8pm but he was so happy I didnt want to disturb him. I bought him inside at 8pm but it was just so hungry so he only stayed in side for 10mins but he has been inside today and Ive sat outside with him twice so hes had fuss today.

I have got exercises to do T^T but I am not doing an hour because I feel dead. Also I have already been for a walk. So I have done something today. So I will do a couple of easy chloe videos and go for a bath. Jack isn't gaming with anyone tonight so he can leave his PC any time I ask he says ^^ that means I can have an early night :D 

I was quite shocked yesterday actually, I came out the bath and was doing my skincare, I could hear jack finishing up his raid on elder scrolls online - a game hes played since its launch which was about 10 years ago. He was asking the leader of his guild if they could find someone to replace him as hes getting very bored! It shocked me. I hope I havent influenced his decision as I have, on several occasions, slagged it off. I do not mind him playing that game or playing with others but he does the same raid over and over and over again. For what? to get new gear he says. But then they have updates a few times a year which releases new gear so they do the raid again for new gear. I told jack that I honestly see it as a waste of life. I feel he has been disillusioned with it and I have broke the spell as he has started to see it from my point of view. However I did not want to give it up, I just wanted him to enjoy it and get something more out of it. It all seemed pointless and neverending in my eyes. So yeah soon on a sunday - until they find a replacement - jack will be free to do something else. I said he can still have a gaming night but maybe ether with harvey and theo or with me.

We shall see

tomorrow

mummy has taken the day off work tomorrow for me! She wants to spend time with me.

So we are getting to TK MAXX for 9am, the shops in britain opened today and we said we would go tomorrow, I just hope theres not a big que to get in. We said if there is a big que that we would leave it. I plan on taking soup over to mum's so I can have lunch with her. I dont need much from the shops, jack however NEEDS clothes and underwear. So I am going more on his behalf. He has given me permission. I had to almost blow the dust off my handbag as its not been used in months! not been round shops since early decemeber or maybe late november.

Day of chores, and introduced to Pui Pui Molcar

 Evening

So last night I set my laptop up in front of me and just let it run through jpop music video whilst I did 40mins of yoga, I then spent forever in the bath, and even when I came out I was treating my skin to products. At the end of it I actually looked healthy and refreshed it was quite a shock. jack even commented on how well I looked. He then spoiled it by saying "you look almost...clean...wont last long tho" >.> damn him. He knows I sweat for britain and make mess. I have practically worn a paint bucket this week T^T

I was grateful of the early night of 10:30pm. I slept til 6am, rolled over grabbing hammington and slept til 8am! 

This morning we went and did our food shopping which wasnt too bad.

I went outside and started cleaning Oz's hutch, disinfectant, scrubbing tools, and a stick. The layers of wee and sawdust were so thick in areas....if I didnt use newspapers and clean him out at least once a week I would hate to see the state of it. It still smells tho Im disappointed to say. Just reeks of bunny wee. 

I got really cold doing it as I was just in tshirt and joggers and it started to hail. Today we have had sun, hail, snow sometimes all 3 at once. The weather has been whacked out today.

I came in bloody frozen and used detol on my hands I just felt very unclean after that job. Oz came to help but didnt make the job any less grim.

We had lunch which helped to warm me through.

Then as soon as I finished my last mouthful I was out the door going to my mums (quickly stripping the bed and putting it in the wash) I took Oz with me, who did not want to go! Got out my hands putting him in the carrying case. But he was fine once he got into mum's garden. I then spent the next 90mins doing things with my family. Quite tired when I came away from there. Best bit was sitting with my mum and brother whilst he put on TV something him and mum have been secretly watching Pui Pui molcar....if you have never seen it, see it! only 2mins long each, its unbelievably cute. I can tell my mum and brother like it as its just guinea pigs basically. I was glad to have truffs on my lap to stroke whilst watching it as it was just so damn cute!!! I have since come home and ordered a key chain for my mum :) cant wait to surprise her with it.

I came home and decided to get Oz's cage done as I want it dry for him tomorrow morning.

That took me 90mins!! And I did get cold doing it. 

I came in and assisted Jack who was putting up my curtain pole in the craft room. I then went to go clean the bathroom before dinner. I could have quite easily not have done it as I was shattered but I didnt want to do it tomorrow it needed doing. Then when I finished I was doing dinner, no time to sit down on this job T^T I was cooking for an hour as I had to do my meat breakfasts for the week.

I ate dinner and fell asleep after I ate, jack waking me up as I wouldnt sleep tonight otherwise so he let me sleep whilst he did the pots. So I am shattered T^T just so tired and I have my exercises to do yet 

Not sure how much I will do tonight tho. 

I was happy when my stronger brother weighed himself today on my scales and I have 5% more muscle than him. He was like "just cus you have a higher muscle percentage doesnt mean youre hench it just means how much muscle your body is made of" yes I know >.> 

Tomorrow

I am hopefully collecting Oz early morning as I know he wont want to stay over night tonight and I want him back I miss him. Then at 10:15am mia is coming over and we are going for a dog walk. After that I have nothing planned. I would like to do some more of my canvas. Get the craft room finished but I need to wait for Jack to finish changing plug sockets and light switch. Then move my dressing table in. Think I have found someone who makes desks in the next city, dad said he would collect it for me.

The new scale results

 Evening

Man I was not feeling the exercises last night, I didnt start til 9pm!!! Latest yet, so as I did an hour I didnt finish til gone 10pm, I had a bath then jack wanted the bath after me. The night went on, of course we watched Inuyasha so yeah it was like 11:30pm by time we were in bed -______- 

I slept well but woke up at 7am which felt really unfair, I left Jack in bed for another hour but I went to see Oz and just enjoyed the quiet

When Jack woke up I asked him to look at my new scales as they didnt come with instruction and I couldnt work it out. We weighed ourselves. I had put on a whole kilogram so I am 63.8kg jack is 78kg! I was quite shocked he weighed that much as he doesnt look that heavy. He has a normal BMI it said my BMI was 23. Muscle was what I really wanted to know! jack has 37% muscle, I got 43% have it!!! damn right. I missed how much fat percentage I have as that was the first to pop up and I didnt really pay attention but I will find out next week. Just because I have new scales of my own doesnt mean I will increase how much I weight myself. once a week just to see how things are. I wasnt even that bothered that I had put a kilogram on actually. Just numbers. Its how I feel and look thats important.

Jack was not arsed about his results XD said he was healthy, end of XD

We went to assess the craft room. Jack said he was prepared to give under the stairs another coat. The job that took me like 2 and a half hours to do yesterday.

We waited for our radiator man - plumber - to come at 10am and he was punctual. Nice bloke actually and knew he stuff. Got straight to it. Literally only here for 5mins. measured up, said he would send us a quote by monday/tuesday. He would supply the raditors. So yeah yeah, quite surprised how painless it was to be honest. Just hope his quote isnt horrific! feel like its been too easy....

Jack suggested we go for a walk as we havent done that in ages. So I agreed. It was quite chilly out, it was the wind it was just so cold so my ears started to hurt. But I enjoyed it and we were gone an hour. We got back and had a cup of tea - an actual cup of tea which was amazing after getting cold. Then we started painting. Didnt take us too long as jack used a roller instead of a paint brush so it was a much nicer finish and quicker. But it does help having the 1st coat. 

We had lunch then tidied up all the painting stuff. All our decorating stuff has been in the craft room since we moved in last december and now they are in the garage, the room is clear apart from my stuff I cant put away until the paint is dry. it looks so good! jack said "looks so much better, doesnt look a shit hole anymore" XD the real transformation will come when i am able to get everything I want for the room and set it how I want it. But it looks amazing already. 

Then the rest of the afternoon I spend pretty much taking it easy and painting my wooper canvas which is looking good actually. At first i hated it and even thought about binning it but its coming along well. We had dinner and then jack went to game. I got Oz in and fussed him and watched youtube etc

This evening however will be different

I am not doing my exercise videos! I have not had a day off since I started them at the beginning of february. I can feel my body needs a rest. I have walked for an hour. But tonight I want to put some calm music on,(tend to use mami kawada) and I want to do some slow easy yoga, have a bath where I will give myself a pamper - bath bombs, hair oil, body scrub you name it. I also want to be in bed for 10:30pm I need an early night

tomorrow

we usually do our food shop at 9am as we used to get in as a key worker but they have stopped the scheme. its no longer NHS and schools its just NHS >.> so its 9:30am for us with everyone else :/ but shouldnt be too bad by then anyway, I hope.

Then I am doing something I am looking forward to doing - decorating Oz's hutch! He is having his minging hutch scrubbed clean then I am repainting it ^^ I am also seeing mum as I need to take Oz over for a sleep over, his cage will not be dry inside and out for him to sleep in. So he needs a sleep over but it should be fine for monday night.