Just by being asked out to dinner

 Konbanwa~~

I had an alright evening which involved doing a bit of exercise whilst Jack watched dinner with my Ex, some of people on that program.....0.0 dregs of humanity 

He had the bath after me and we watched Fruits basket then was in bed for 10pm

we have been watching Inuyasha final act, however the dvd has gotten worse and worse and now refuses to play....so I have been looking online for another copy. I was loathed to get another as Jack had gifted the series to me at christmas so it felt wrong to buy another but when i talked to him about it he said there was no point in having a dvd that you cant watch. true true.

This morning I actually felt alright, no anxiety. Physically I actually felt pretty good. I cant remember the last time I felt this good for school I really cant.

My day, which I thought was going to be quiet was actually really busy >< I had practicals that I had forgotten about til I saw them written down when I came into school. I got it all done and prepared them with love and teachers appreciated it ^^

I was still feeling pretty good too. Until at 2pm I realised we had an email sent from head of science saying "I have booked _____ at 6pm next thursday here is the link for the menu"

instant panic and anxiety

I cant believe how quickly I was affected by it. Just by being asked out to dinner

i felt anxious about eating food made by someone else so I didnt know what was in it

eating in front of a group of 15

being inside with the public without masks

food made by a stranger 

being late home and too tired for school the next day

having tummy ache after eating food im not suppose to eat

I got a bit teary by this point

Jack said "we dont need to go Jo, its not worth this"

i said "but if I dont go it means you cant go"

he said "to be honest, with covid, I am not keen on going ether. I would rather spend the money on a new anime box set, watch anime and sit with Oz. Thats a better evening in my eyes"

ahhhhh he knows all the right things to say ^^ I only shed a few tears but I felt dizzy and my heart was going of out rhythm. Amazing how that one email made me feel and it was a positive email too it was suppose to be a nice thing to do. But I just cant handle that right now. I dont need to do that to myself. So we put down on the invitation form that we werent attending. Saves us about £60 as it wasnt cheap and we could get a few dvds for that! XD

we collected Oz on our way home, mum said he hadnt done much all day as it had been pretty awful weather. Jack made me tea when we got home then we did dinner which was good. 

Jack did quite a few chores to help me too and then I suggested going for a walk as it was such a lovely evening so we did a short walk it was nice actually. We hadnt managed to get out for a walk at the weekend. We got back and Jack showered whilst I sat with Oz. 

I will do a quick 10min weights video.  then go for a bath I think

We will watch fruits basket later hopefully but Jack is gaming so who knows

tomorrow is school and I have bacteria to grow again

the students bacteria had grown however they had not made a good job of it XD