Konbanwa~~~~
So last night I managed to get into bed for 9:30pm woo
I did manage to fall asleep without Jack who had started gaming at 9pm
I woke up midnight on the dot from a terrible nightmare involving my mum taking a sick and twisted interest in body parts and was showing me all these body pieces in a red gooey room. I realised that my 'mum' was actually my other personality so woke up. Drenched in sweat. I noticed that Jack wasnt in bed. But was thinking maybe he was coming off at midnight. So I waited in my sweaty bed til 12:15 until I was the impression he had simply gotten too involved and carried away....
I went upstairs to him, he looked at the time, swore, announced he was leaving and left. All in the space of 15 seconds. Like I was gonna tell him off or something XD He apologised and came to bed with me
however, in the act of going upstairs and making sure he got to bed so he wouldnt be tired the next day, it kinda woke me up and then pain kicked in. I tried to sleep next him but he soon started sleeping and snoring. I got up and had to have pain killers. I was up til 3am....even when I went to bed it took me ages to get to sleep. All I could think about was school in the morning, how dead Id be, should I go and then knowing i needed to go because of the bacteria practicals.
I was shattered when we got up for school and slightly peed off at Jack as I looked like death all because of him. He said he wouldnt have another late night on a weekday. Which i agreed to. But then I turned round and said "I just will leave you to it, it will be your issue if you are late to bed and tired for school" he said thats fine, and agreed he would set an alarm so he doesnt get carried away.
I didnt have to go to the toilet this morning so that was one good thing!
We got to school and its just been back to back busy all sodding day. I felt stressed out by the sheer amount of work I had to do and how god damn tired I was. I could barely think. I blamed Jack who I could tell felt guilty. good >.>
we got home and I necked a cup of tea and we drove out to the doctors as I did not want to go so Jack insisted he came with me
and what a load of crap
ZERO help
I even saw a doctor I have never seen before simply for a new perspective as my doctor is crap and last time I rang up telling him my pain was awful he suggested aromatherapy.....
but this doctor literally had nothing to say to me
no help no suggestions
i did test positive for ANA but he didnt seem arsed
I told him I have pain in my stomach and have to empty my stomach content out an ive lost 5.5kg in 2-3 months. But it was like I had just said "nice weather today huh" he didnt even register I had mentioned that. It was shocking. I think Jack was stuck for words and felt worried about me
I swung by mums and collected Oz
told her my bloods are, theres no help or cure so whats new. I did cry a bit as even tho this is nothing new to me, being told it still hurts. I asked the doctor is this how I am suppose to live from now on but he said he would talk to my usual doctor, they will ring me back but FAT chance. I will never hear from them again
we got home and ate the stew thank god I didnt need to cook as I was exhausted by this point.
Mum rang me and said how appalling it is how bad i was treated and to write a letter over the weekend to the practice manager and complain, so I have that to do which I get I should do however that eats up my time and they dont give me any of theres
anyway enough of that crap
tonight we are doing yoga, hot chocolate, bath. Were doing yoga with the patio door open and watching and talking to Oz
tomorrow is school, I have a very busy day -_____- i hope sleep
i will continue on somehow
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