Monday, 24 May 2021

upset at school and dont want time off

 Evening


I managed to do a 10min exercise video of legs and used my new ankle weights which made me actually feel my work out for a change as my leg work outs didnt feel like they were doing an awful lot. I was tired but really wanted to try and do some exercise so I wouldnt spend another night in bed aching.

I slept really well, having an odd dream of being some sort of demon of a city and another demon that was slowly turning into a cat like creature had planted bombs round the city, slowly felling buildings around me. So many people were squished and died. I couldnt warn people quick enough....


I was anxious about school that was a given really

I wasn't feeling it at school this morning I had no energy to look happy for people and when people would ask "you ok?" I just say "no" but didnt talk about it, I just wanted people to know that I actually wasnt ok. Mum txt to say she had got in with the nurse at 10:15am and wasnt going to work. Her new blood pressure tablets had made her blood pressure go to 170/110...thats like heart attack territory and mum is not overweight. Or a big drinker and doesnt smoke. Her face was like red. Quite frightening and it had been stressing me out to be honest as I didnt want her keeling over.

She rang me at 10:45am saying she had been checked over and shes ok and the sorting the meds out. I felt tears of relief come down my face. I was a bit tearful on the phone even tho it was only 11am, I just felt like I was not even able to get through the day nevermind the week. It just all felt too much. The sheer amount I needed to do at work. She said "I think you do need to go to the doctors, its not getting any better is it, its going past the stage of helping yourself before it gets bad. Its gotten bad and youre making yourself poorly. I think you need to get signed off work for a bit" but the thought of seeing those useless idiots deflates me somewhat. Not to mention what I think about being off work for a bit....but nevertheless I rang the doctors 5 times, no one picked up and it cuts off after 4 mins. I txt mum saying "no one picks up" she said "I was up there an hour ago and theres 3 receptionist on" >.> bloody useless they are.  Mum said she would ring


I got through the morning, had my lunch, but all my food today I havent really wanted, I have simply ate just for energy.

After lunch I went to fetch maggots, its bad that the people in fisherman shop recognise me

 >< 

I came back and I spoke with Karen for a bit about pain, I talked with the IT crew, chris isn't in this week hes on holiday.  Then I came back to the prep room, I couldnt face coming back straight away as I knew people would want things.

But I felt better for getting out and stuff


We came home, well first I called in mums to only realised she had txt saying she was at mine with Oz....so I drove to my house >< 

she had a tea with us, then I did a dinner I made up on the spot really, chili prawn pasta it was actually good. jack enjoyed it and said he would eat it again.

I got my school stuff ready and now doing my diary. Might have time to draw or not. I need to do some exercise but I know I cant do much so it will be easy exercises. I could quite easily not do any but I know come 10pm I will regret that decision 0.0

the seller of the inuyasha dvds offered a refund if I send them back. But its effort. I will see.


tomorrow is school

just literally counting the days til its half term, which is a week off, but mum isnt sure I will be ok and better in a week...

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