Evening
It wasn't until I got to bed did I realise that I didnt do my diary!!
So yesterday I was lucky to have chris come and collect Jack for school
which I was really grateful of as I was shattered
I spent the day resting really as there wasnt much else I could do! I was a bit of a corpse ^^;
my mum came to see me and dropped off some parcels
I had a telephone call with the doctor to basically ask for some help
this is what has come of it all
for the next 2 weeks at school I will be working til lunch time, I have a doctors note for it
I am upping my antidepressants as of today
The doctor said he had in fact referred me for mental health help
so yeah I dont feel like I am in a pit of despair so much as I now have something to help, something to try
he warned me not to ever overdose on these tablets and that i need to have my blood pressure checked in a month. It increases blood pressure but my blood pressure is naturally low so i am not concerned.
after dinner we walked over to mum and dad's so I could give my brother a mug I ordered him for work as his work mug broke, he was pleased with it then we walked back and that short walk literally did me in.
In the evening as we had finished Chobits - which was really good - we started watched Ouran high school host club. I have had on dvd for years but jack hasnt seen it
I told him to continue watching the episode as I had to go die on the toilet as for some reason when the night came round, my anxiety heightened.
we got to bed and I had to dash to the toilet once again. Jo is no longer digesting food it seems. I was dying on the toilet til 11:15pm -_____-
safe to say I was shattered at 6am today. I could have done without the school run but knew I had to get on with it. The closer we got to school the more anxious I felt.
i was so churned up with anxiety that I called into mum's on the way home as I knew she was going out at 9am anyway
so I got to relax with the sows. Molly isnt doing so well with her lumps. Her tummy lump has burst and scabbed over, she has a lump on her leg and mum said she thinks she felt one on her bum earlier. We are unsure what they are fully. The vet says cysts but without an actual biopsy we wont know
she seems fine and doesnt mind you touching them. I told mum to not worry and keep them clean. Bless molly mole
I left mum when she went out and I came home to bed for 90mins as I was shattered
when I woke up I looked at shelving online but didnt see anything I liked. Then I wrote my cousin and email finally.
I had my lunch then mum came round and we went for a short walk, I managed to dust the living room whilst talking to her which gave me a sense of achievement. I also started upping my meds today
mum left when Jack came home
I cut his hair and we had dinner once he had had a shower
it was raining during dinner but as we couldnt see Oz we assumed he was in the garage. We assumed wrong...we saw a wet bunny run out the bushes -_____- so he had decided to sit in the garage during the day when it was just cloudy but play out when it was raining!?
so I went out to him and he was shivering and shaking his coat. pudding
i tried to towel dry him inside but he was having none of it so I just let him groom himself.
we have given him treats and carrot and hes now snoring on the carpet. Jack sat with him whilst I exercise for 15mins and had a shower.
I will take him home soon bless him
Jack is playing D&D tonight so I am by myself
not sure what we are doing this weekend to be honest
dont wanna do myself in anyway
i have the usual jobs to do anyway
i told jack that when i started my antidepressants i became quite numb, which is a usual feeling with mental medication and these tablets are actually quite nasty as far as antidepressants go. But they work for me! So I warned him i might go a bit detached and to just bare with me. But he seemed fine with it all. He has been on antidepressants before so he knows the score
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