Returning to work again tomorrow

 Evening

I managed to sleep last night, I did feel off but didnt need to get up luckily, I was feeling anxious about school tho. Stupid when its like over a day away

We woke up at 8am and got up and ready to go shopping, I decided to curl my hair today but even after using 3 products in my hair, my curls fell out. Its important to take care of yourself in bad depression as you can quite easily get into the habit of not caring for your self or your appearance 

I managed shopping 

we got back and unpacked then sat with a brew with Ozwald who was so giddy and happy bless him

then Jack cut up my stuff for my soup this week, it was good to make my cauldron of fish soup and it actually tasted really good. I cleaned Oz out whilst it was cooking

I kept working on my canvas throughout the day

we did a walk which was nice

I didnt get round to dusting my room as I ended up spending an hour on my bed just exhausted. Jack said not to push myself. I was gonna bring over stuff from mums as well today but couldnt face it and didnt have the energy really. So I left it but still went to see mum for an hour and saw the pigs, checked molly's cyst too. 

I came back and I did our dinner ---- noodles!

we havent had noodles since my diet, Jack suggested it and I wanted to try it but didnt want to use a ready made sauce. So I said I would do it if I could cook my own food/meat for it and make a broth and he was cool with that. I totally winged it with how I made it. But I tried to make it look good so I sprinkled sesame seeds over the meal, placed a fried egg on top too and drizzled soy sauce over it :3 it looked really good actually. Jack said it tasted really good ^^

After dinner I did a bit more of my painting, if I am honest it looks total crap right now but I am hoping by the time more colour is on it and an outline it will take shape better

Jack and I are currently sat with a face pack on, part of my self-care. Theres too much for one person in a packet so I got him to join in as well X3 he doesnt mind. I haven't done a face pack in agesssss.Then we will go in the shower and sit with Ozwald. Jack says he doesnt mind having an early night if it means less stress for me. He has been spending a lot of time with me lately cus hes worried. So I feel I take up his time >< He says hes happy to play pokemon in bed tho

i might do my nails tonight as well maybe, or just put a strengthener on them at least

I have got my stuff ready for school tomorrow, I feel sick at the sight of my uniform....

I really want to be back on form and do this, it feels better knowing I am only there for 4 hours. I am sure I can manage 4 hours. But Jack says if I cant then to just stay til break time. 

I can do this, I want to be able to do this.

I have so many people supporting me, I feel I need to build my confidence back up with work.

I told mum I would let her know how I get on and stuff.

I shall do my best