Got an ADHD form to fill in

 Evening

I had a rough night >< couldnt sleep, woke up a lot and was awake from 6am but tried to sleep as I didnt wanna get up THAT early >.>

We got up for my doctors appointment which I was feeling quite anxious about so I asked Jack if he would come in the room with me for moral support

the doctor printed out an ADHD form for me to fill in and give back to her. Its quite a long daunting form....Jack says he will help me ^^

I asked her about the ridges in my nails that have been growing from July and the fact that my hair is just constantly falling out. She looked at my last blood test (which earlier this year) and said my levels look normal and to try some vitamin C tablets and zinc.

I asked her about my June referral for mental help, turns out the mental health team had written back to my doctors but not told me. Basically I do not meet their criteria for help so I am by myself on that one. If I want help I have numbers to call (been there done that) and the doctor gave me the number for a private person to pay for mental help. But it all honesty I am relieved I have not got to go for MORE talking therapy. I have had loads. I dont want anymore. Besides I am over the worst of it, I got myself through it.

We left doctors and went towards the city centre, we caught the bus which was full of chavy woman with god awful bratty children who were so feral without boundaries. Any questions they asked their mums they just told "oh I dont know!" and continued on with their phone. Classy parenting there. Sickens me people like that are allowed children. So sad you get lovely people who cant conceive and would give a child a loving home, yet these chavy breeders have no trouble populating the earth. Jesus

we got off the bus and went into a poundshop for Jack's sweet and there was someone there arguing with 2 managers and staff that he wasnt opening packets and taking stuff.

I was so stressed already. My body was shaking

people everywhere, noise, lights. God it was so overwhelming. Jack took us into a cafe for a cup of tea and a chill out but it was so hot in there that we didnt stay long and continued shopping. But whats there to shop round? nothing left! I kid you not Nottingham city centre is just one big food court. Thats all there is! Loads of clothes shops have gone and today I realised bear factory and disney shop have gone as well now! I liked looking at their plush :( theres nothing left to go into the city for. I hate the experience of it all and it makes me so grateful for online shopping

we got plenty of bits and pieces so it was worth going. I got to see lots of halloween decorations. I brought yet another pumpkin mug! I have 3 different ones now ^^

we got on the bus home and Jack drove us home as I was struggling to walk by this point like the little old lady I am! 

We got home and had Oz inside whilst we had lunch then I went to bed

Jack woke me at 3pm for a brew and the doughnuts we brought today which are complete mammoths. I finished mine, i do feel guilty for eating it course I do but I havent had any of my usual treats today as I knew I was gonna have the doughnut and didnt want to be plagued with loads of food thoughts.

I went for my massage and it was bliss. Honestly worth every penny its the closest I get to being pain free. I would have it every week if I could afford it! I paid £5 for her charity raffle - i never win these things but wanted to support her. She then gave me some samples of skin care!! what a treat and its VERY expensive this brand. I wont be buying any of it. I saw on her display that a 150ml cleanser thing was £80......eye watering. So these samples are probably worth £20 so I was happy with that

I came home and felt very oily so went for a bath

then we did dinner which was nice and healthy

then I have been laying down as I cant believe how wiped out I am

massage and walking has killed me off.

good productive day tho, I will pay for it tomorrow no doubt

I have tonight ordered some vitamin C and other things to try. spent £30 on tablets tonight! £45 on massage, my body is expensive to maintain! ><;

tomorrow

I have wrote the day off, I am doing NOTHING

I said I would see mum at some point :)