crying into a chest at 1am

 Evening

Last night was god awful

I was in bed for 9pm but got up twice as I couldnt sleep

by 1am I broke up crying, I went to get Jack as I couldnt do it anymore. So he was woken by me crying into his tshirt at 1am.....sorry jack....He was actually totally fine about being woke up.  Hes so supportive he doesnt ever say anything unkind or unhelpful he just made me a tea and fruit loaf and listened to my worries whilst cuddling me. I just cried. I was so tired and done.

I am suppose to take a max of 8 Zapain pain killers per day. I had taken 16....the most I have ever taken in 24 hours. I was so desperate for pain relief

I had gotten so stressed about work, about how busy it is gonna be and how crap I will feel. Jack said "just dont go its fine" I couldnt bare to leave him to it so I said I was going no matter what. It was gone 2am by the time I fell asleep so I managed to get about 4 hours sleep if that

Safe to say I felt like death this morning. My eyes stung and my eyelids were massive, red and puffy. I looked awful

I did nothing at work for over an hour. I couldnt even think. I stayed out the way in a corner of the office

I have done bits and pieces today but nothing major to be honest I cant cope with it all

I did miss my lesson but I have a copy of the test to take home with me

We came home and Jack made me tea and fruit loaf and I sat with Oz. I then died on the bed as I needed the rest. Jack went to the toilet and I think Oz wondered where we had gone and I heard him under the bed XD so I had to get him from under there which was fine. He had dinner with us and I am about to do some bunny yoga with him. By which I mean I will be doing some yoga and he will be a hinderance no doubt XD Then I will have a bath, anime, bed

I miss seeing my mum but I have nothing to give her but I said I would try see her tomorrow, also she might have the new pokemon game delivered by then too

tomorrow

its randomly non-uniform day but I have no enthusiasm for it as I am so tired and the school is so damn hot I just sweat to death anyway.

I will come home and hopefully see mum then we are gonna play some pokemon!

please please, can I have a better night's sleep tonight. I dont think I will make school tomorrow on 4 hours sleep again. I have not sleep through the night for such a long time now TT^TT