it was so hard today I was in fainting territory

 Konbanwa~~~

Did not sleep well....

was up til 1am

I was in pain and stressing about school and then stressing that I would be too tired for school. I overdosed by 3 times and even then I didnt sleep through the night. It was so unfair. I was so shattered this morning

We got to school

and to say we told the teachers Julia isnt in all  week, it meant basically nothing to them. its been full speed all day. Its been so so so full on. I cried. I was shaking from head to toe as my body was so fatigued and I was getting into fainting territory it was not good

Jack was helping a lot of course he was but he was rushed off his feet too

he kept telling me to sit, said i looked like death

it was crazy hard

I txt mum to say I cant see her after school. I was so defeated

I got home and had fruit loaf I didnt want and a cup of tea. I havent wanted food all day or really. Been a bit too stressed to want or enjoy food

I brought Oz inside, he didnt get long outside as it was dark and he looked  like he wanted to come in :/ So he got spoiled indoors to say the least

I did a different recipe tonight, totally winged it. Noodles and fish. It was ok but I found it a bit sickly, Jack enjoyed it. He doesnt even understand sickly XD

I didnt go any exercise tonight. Trying to tell myself its OK today have a day off. I was worried if I worked out I would faint. I am literally hanging on.

I did 2 maths questions jack set me. He marked them and said I got them right! at first I thought he was just being nice, to try save my feelings. But no I actually got them RIGHT. Something must be going in I guess!

I made some biscuits reluctantly. I ran out and I am fed up of making and eating them. Jack said I would be hungry as I have nothing in place of them. he said he would buy store made cookies - they are very bad for you. I said it was a lovely gesture, and hes right, I will be hungry. But I cant bring myself to eat those cookies. I feel it would be another reason to be up at night - food thoughts. So I made my biscuits, knowing theyre better for me

I had a nice hot bath like perfect temperature 

then just here waiting for bed. Gonna watch anime then go bed. I have asked if I can watch Jack play pokemon quest like I did last night, It was quite soothing watching him.

New pokemon on friday! After suffering all week we get a nice treat~

If I dont sleep tonight I am unsure what state I will be in for work tomorrow....but I cant bare to leave jack to it....theres so much to do its unreal