I am going out the house tomorrow!

 Evening

I slept ok til 3:45am and I woke up needing a wee, my mouth tasted like death so I brushed my teeth too and of course I felt like death so I was up then. I was just up.

I decided to stay up to wake Jack up around 6am as it always nicer being woken with a cuddle than a loud alarm right. so I did that and we cuddled up in bed for 15mins. Making sure not to fall asleep!  I had already eaten my breakfast but I sat with Jack as he ate his breakfast. Then as soon as he left for school I went to bed til 9am

I got up and did some painting, I keep working on it in bits and pieces and it is coming along~

I didnt do much else with my morning, kinda monged out online I guess. I find it all so boring. I can not wait to leave the house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I decided I would do some yoga for half hour then rest then walk to mummy's after my lunch. That short walk was ENOUGH. I stayed for an hour and had a sit with the girls which was nice and then mum kindly drove me home as I didnt feel up to walking and it was raining by this point. 

It rained heavy for 3 hours! jeez. And its the start of Goose Fair, first time since covid I think? its on longer and earlier this year anyway. I NEVER go. In fact my dad would give me and my brother money to NOT go. He said it was a rip off. Not to mention the sheer amount of pick pocketing that goes off there. I think he was giving us money to not go to keep us safe. Its in a shady part of Nottingham too but sooooooooo many people go. Its a shame day1 is pouring down tho. Feel sorry for them. But it made the traffic worse for Jack coming home.

I had a sleep this afternoon for an hour after mums

and did some more painting

had a bath before dinner, so we are gonna eat dinner in our pyjamas! I love having dinner in my pyjamas theres something so comforting about it ^^ Just hope I dont sweat too much eating Korean noodles ><"

Jack has got gaming tonight so i will miss him tonight but I am glad hes doing it as he hasnt gamed for over 2 weeks due to mias wedding and a funereal last week

tomorrow

I am hoping to LEAVE THE HOUSE and do food shop. Id like to do more than that but honestly I just gotta see how I am feeling

Cut off is 30th October

 Evening

I slept ok to be honest. I didnt get up with Jack tho as I felt I needed more sleep but also getting up makes my day even longer. So I woke up at 9am

I had a splitting headache and felt tired. Yup STILL getting better. But getting better nonetheless~

I didnt do much with my morning. Maybe a bit of painting but nothing much

I went to bed in the morning, had lunch, went to bed. Then woke up to mum coming in XD

she came to check on me and I appreciate that so much.

I managed a bit of yoga

I made another cake

I did dinner and had MEGA painful stomach after my food. Like was instantly in a ball on the floor after I finished eating. My stomach was hurting during the end of my meal but I was determined to finish my food. Jack warmed my hot bag for me and I put that on my stomach. Honestly felt like a rhino just charged into my stomach. awful. The Palo diet is looming on the horizon. I am wondering if I have leaky gut again. I cant bare it. I said to Jack the cut off is 30th october - the end of october half term. I aint ruining my half term!

That was my day

nothingness

I wanna go to work but sound like a load of crap right now. Jack seems wound up with it all.

whipped out my winter pyjamas

 Evening

I had to get up til 11:15pm last night to take pain killers and have a hot chocolate and cake! But then I did manage to sleep. The alarm went off and I thought "balls to this I aint getting up!" but then I remembered - its wednesday - I have to get up so Jack can change the bed and I need to put the slow cooker on TT^TT but once Jack left for school I crawled into bed whilst the washer was on so I didnt have to listen to that.

I did a bit of painting when I got up but I found it a bit hard to motivate myself cus I am still a corpse....

mum came to see me before lunch and took me out for the short walk. It was cold and windy so I didnt like the weather but did feel better for getting some air. We had lunch then she left. I went to bed for a bit. Then watched youtube videos, and ate a lot. I havent eaten much last 2 days and I made up for it today.

I havent done much else really. I did a bit of stretching cus I felt tight. I cant wait to be better. I am hoping to be back on form for the weekend

Me and Jack had korean noodles for tea, we were both panting, sweating and red lipped. If you walked in on us youd think we had been getting up to something. But it was just hot XD

I had a HOT bath afterwards to become a lobster and burn those aches off!!

Did some painting

now at 7:30pm I am pretty much ready for bed! bed again! all I do is sleep lately. What is wrong with me T^T so slow recovering T^T I will get there

I got stickers in the post yesterday for Lizi, I bought her stickers to give to her students (cus shes doing her teacher training now) and I gave them to Jack to give to her today ^^

I ordered a pokemon Psyduck pen for Jack to put on his school lanyard as he always carries on but always loses it. I thought if he had a nicer pen he would keep track of it. Its also to thank him for putting up with my sickly ass

He got 3/6 clothes that i ordered today. He loved both pokemon tshirts but the trousers were restrictive so I might use them for work. 

tomorrow

another day recovering

got my long sleeve pyjamas on for the first time, winter is on its way

got my sick note so I have the rest of the week to recover

 Evening

So last night I went to bed being able to breathe better. Not feeling like there was a weight on my chest and having a collapsed lung. And I slept! through the night no less! That hasnt happened in a while

so when the alarm went on this morning I did decide to have a normal morning and eat breakfast with Jack as I havent done that for a couple of weeks nearly. So that was nice and I did feel better like I was on the mend.

Jack left for work and I did some painting, the whole time having the same burning tummy ache I had last night. I fussed my Ozwald and Im not sure what else I did but 10:30am I had a sleep for an hour as I was feeling tired and I wanted to be able to walk over to mums to have lunch with her

I woke up at 11:30am and felt so dead. I had hit the wall. I told her I wasnt able to walk over to her. I had an early lunch and ended up sleeping for 3 and a half hours....just could not wake up no matter how hard I fought to wake up. so that was my day T^T

Jack came home and he planted new heathers in the garden on the new rockery and that looks better now. We did dinner which was easy enough to do then after dinner we prepped tomorrows slow cooker stew. Were having Korean noodles tomorrow! 

I really should do some yoga so I dont get stiff and tight but my energy in on the floor right now. I might try after my bath maybe? I will see how I feel. Right now I cant even be bothered to wash myself. 

But the doctor has done me a sick note so I have the rest of the week off to recover which I am so grateful of.

Jack is stressed and busy at work and I feel so sorry for him as I am not there to literally do my job but I also told him he needs to stop sayin yes to people and make them aware were a technician down and to back off and get school to hire agency staff to cover like they would for a teacher. makes me sick.

tomorrow

got the korean noodles to put on in the morning, see mum and lunch, do some painting. About as fun as it gets for me!

Booked a holiday! first one in 3 years!

 Evening~

i couldnt sleep last night. Exact repeat of the previous night - aches and burning stomach. I was up til 1:30am, I did some painting, yoga, went on my laptop. I actually dont know how I passed the time to be honest. 

I climbed into bed and next thing I knew I hit the alarm and passed out again. Jack woke me to say he was leaving for school. i think I murmured something but certainly didnt open my eyes - needed more sleep it would seem!

next thing I knew I was waking at 10:30am. My god! 10:30am!!! I must have needed the sleep. But 9 hours is what the Jo needs~

so I went straight through to Oz who had been left 3 hours by himself in the living room! bless him. Jack hadnt expected me to wake so late. but Oz was fine. He has food and drink and a toilet area, hes fine. He gave me lots of fuss. I fussed him back

I did a bit of painting, I saw mummy at lunch time. She told me I needed to ring the doctors and request a sick note....so I did that. If I get a sick note I will be off school for the entire week! I go to one wedding and end up having 2 weeks off work.

After mum went I did a bit of painting, I looked at clothes for Jack as my Jack is a tramp. He needs clothes and expects them to appear in his wardrobe I think. So I gave him the choice of dragging him round stores paying full retail price or letting me loose online. He chose the online option, good lad. So I spent £70 of his money on 6 items of clothes which is pretty decent. Of course some of them are pokemon tshirts as this is Jack.

The next big spending was a holiday! Jack had told me to wait to the start of October but balls to that I wanna go away. I moved my reflex appointment so we could go first week of the holidays. So I had look round and one place was reduced from £145 to £129 for 2 nights and its at a spa! so we might get treatment there we will have to see whats on offer. You also get a bath in the room as well. It seemed nice and modern. The usual place I stay in Matlock is £120 and its small and run down. So for £9 more we get a better place.

I txted Jack at work saying I have booked a holiday and he said he was excited ^^ I am going on what would be my Granny's birthday. So I think day one we will go round the waterfall place I love, do Matlock and then day two rent a bike and cycle round Carsington water which is a lake really. I havent been there for years and Jack has never been so it will be nice for him ^^

we havent been away together for 3 years. we've only been away once together too cus you, covid.

excited ^^ mum has agreed to have Oz for us. So I wont have to worry about him. She has a spare hutch.

I did a bit of yoga after all that internet searching.

I felt I had had the most productive day in over week.

I did a dinner which was easy but VERY tasty we both loved it and said we could have had it again there and now XD

Jack came home and after dinner we laid on the sofa and told each other our days. I felt bad not getting up with him in the morning but I needed sleep.

He missed me at work T^T

I miss being with him.

But today I actually feel..............improvement!!! actual improvement. Like how I did last thursday. I think I am actually on the mend. Never thought this day would come!

tomorrow

sadly tomorrow will be a long day for me as mummy cant come and see me so I will by myself til jack comes in from work. I have nothing planned as I am obviously off sick still >.>

ate pasta for the first time in over a year

 Evening

I am STILL poorly TT^TT just what the hell man >.>

I was up til midnight unable to sleep due to aches and a burning stomach I just could not get comfy with. So yeah I was up doing a few things really until I felt I could maybe sleep

However I was having a nightmare in the morning, I knew Jack was up and kept coming in to see if I would wake but I couldnt wake up I was praying he would wake me but no he kept leaving the room so I had to remain in my nightmare!

eventually he woke me at 8:50am and said "im going to my mums soon"

nooooo! I wanna go!

i looked mega rough this morning, couldnt wake up and felt drugged and hungover with a splitting headache. I told him I wanted to go. He let me have breakfast and drugs to see if I would pick up but realistically, I was going no where T^T I missed out!! I was so annoyed. Kinda glad I didnt go tho as I had to die on the toilet.

I txt my mum and she said she was just nipping out by her self a.k.a without dad so she would pop by. She came in for a brew and I asked her if she would the same route I did yesterday with me. So we did that. On the walk she said "yeah you're not going tomorrow. You will also ring up the doctors for a doctors note" 0.0" well thats me told! Guess I must have looked bad walking. 

shes right tho, its just I had it in my head I would go back to school no matter what tomorrow T^T

I am just frustrated by it all you know? gone on for 7 whole days now

she left and Jack came home as I was cooking my lunch meat

we had lunch, Jack made me lunch he made me 2 wraps which was nice of him and what I felt like but my stomach afterwards just was so painful, my brother phoned. I then did a tiny bit of painting then at some point just passed out on my bed. 

I woke up knowing I needed to spend a lot of time in that kitchen ><

I enlisted Jack's help as I needed help to get it all done

I made a cake

made meatballs with a 1kg of mince and then made it into a pasta dinner. pasta

pasta, I have not had pasta for over a year. I went massively off it. I tried dried pasta (obviously cooked) and couldnt bare the texture. How did I used to eat so much of the stuff!? so matt suggested I give fresh pasta a go. So jack bought fresh pasta yesterday. My first time trying fresh pasta.

I was able to eat it. But if I am honest I did not enjoy it. it did nothing for me. Like mush in my mouth. I have no missed pasta. I have tried bread and that doesnt do anything for me. Like I have gone off some carbs. weirdly. its ever since a did that diet last year. food hasnt been the same to me. i spent two hours in that kitchen and i dont feel I got a lot of that. Jack enjoyed it and appreciated it as hes a normal person and enjoys pasta. I said to him i will not be doing that dinner again. way too faffy for little return. we are having the rest of the meatballs on wraps tomorrow for dinner so at least tomorrows dinner will be easy! cus today killed me off!!!

I had a bath and a massive pamper in the bath and out the bath. Hoping to try make myself feel better. feel human -______- I wanna be better. I am so over this now. 

I now feel rough. I am tired and cant wait for my bed. so done

we've given Oz plenty of fuss today he loves having us both around. Hes so sweet. he's 60 in bunny years bless him.

tomorrow~

well tomorrow I should be in school! so Jack will be there, covering for me T^T

he will have warhammer after school so he will be late home but he has the car so he will be home quicker than normal at least. Mum said she will come see me :)

please please let me feel better tomorrow

i hope I sleep tomorrow too

Just been so poorly but wasn't covid

 Evening

I honestly had no energy to sit and do this

i    have    been    so     poorly

But its been quite a weird virus

I had no voice but not coughing

I felt like I had a head cold but no snot

I had a bad headache and could not think straight at all

I was struggling to breathe like someone was sitting on my chest - I have been using my inhaler A LOT

I have been EXHAUSTED - no energy and walking from one end of my house to the other left me feeling tired and out of breath

I have never had a virus like it.

I of course did covid test and I was fine. 

I didnt make a single day of school this week! just was so poorly

strange thing was, Thursday I actually felt better, not 100% but certainly better. To the point where I thought about going into school on friday but decided I would be stupid to go in and just to take the week off to recover. And it was a good thing I was thinking this as Friday I was really poorly. It was like I had caught a new virus. So strange. 

where did that improvement go!? so unfair. 

Because I havent been able to breathe properly I havent been able to sleep properly as laying down made it harder to breathe so I was up all hours of the night, catching up on my sleep during the day. I have been all over the place with sleep and meals! 

I have been SSOOOOOO bored. I literally cant do anything due to exhaustion and fog brain. So I ether sleep or play Okami or watch youtube or look at clothes online. Thats it. Thats been my week

jack on the other hand, has been stressed out at work due to Ofsted, he had a funereal to go yesterday to which he had to drive somewhere totally new and stuff. He has had a full on week. He slept for 3 hour today during the day which is not like him but all week he has been saying hes tired. 

Hes also had me to help out a bit more cus of me being poorly and also covering for me at work.

the week has been seriously crap

I thought id be able to enjoy my weekend

ha no

I couldnt go food shopping today cus I couldnt drive or walk so Jack went alone AGAIN bless him. 2 saturdays on the go. 

I have managed a 15min walk today to the end of the street and back. It felt SO good to get out the house but also tired me out massively. My legs now ache from that tiny walk

I have been yoga during the week if I got some energy, just so I wasnt tight and stiff cus it wont do my fibro any good. Having to exercise when youre tired and cant breathe is like some sick form of torture. 

I am hoping I am back on monday. I cant take anymore of this!!!

Tomorrow, its jack's mum's birthday and he is popping over in the morning, I am hoping to be there too but depends on how I am. I can not believe I havent kicked this virus. My immune system is crap. like a slug. Mum has kept me company, bought me new pyjamas and pure orange juice. shes been so good to me, even bought the girls a couple of times to cheer me up

I hope I can at least enjoy some of my sunday before I go back to school

I suffer enough damn it >.>

Jo poorly, I hate having no voice

 Evening

I did not sleep well. I was aching A LOT, sweating, cold. Yeah just generally not well. I felt shattered in the morning. I woke up at 5:30am as I needed a drink, it hurt to swallow. I stayed up then and woke Jack up for school.

Considering I had NO VOICE I decided not to go today. My head felt like it just contained tumble weeds. So I didnt work from home ether. I had the day off sick. I hated not having a voice. It took everything I had to whisper >.>

Jack left for school, I texted mum to say I would be home today and that I was going back to bed. Slept well for 2 hours. Like the dead.

I did literally nothing all day. Nothing

I was capable of nothing

I couldnt think, I was tired walking round my house, I was a useless mess. I hated it

Mum kindly came to see me and lunch and brought the girls to cheer me up too.

I wrote my shopping list for saturday, early, but it was all I felt I was up to.

I took all my plants outside and watered them with feed and let them enjoy the sun. I also inspected them to see if any were ready for repotting and two are! That was as energetic as it got today

I did do 30mins of yoga just gentle stretching and I went to lay on my bed for an hour afterwards. Today sucked

mum came over later and bought us cakes she had made

Jack came home and we prepped the stew and I did dinner. I did a different dinner than planned as I needed something plain. still gave me bad tummy ache >.>

today has felt like one big punishment

but its not covid. I did do a test at 6:15am and I was fine. not even a faint line.

my INKBOX tattoo has arrived! it looks soooo good! I am so excited to put it on. However i need to not sweat for 6 hours after I put it on. And at the moment my temperature has gone mad, I am cold then hot then sweaty. So unfortunately it has arrived at the wrong time, I will have to wait til I am better before I apply it TT^TT another kick in the teeth

I still feel like complete crap so I have said I need tomorrow off too. life is not fair

however OFSTED are in school tomorrow so I will be kinda glad to skip that as it makes the teacher SO stressed. Theyre in thursday too and I hope to be back by then but at least I am missing 1 day of it.

god knows how I will pass tomorrow. Maybe feel up to painting??

I'll be doing a covid test in the morning~

 Evening

I still slept last night. Jesus. How much can I sleep lately!? I must say tho I didnt turn off my switch til almost 11pm cus I was determined to get those stray beads XD think I am like 90/100?

I woke up at 9am Jack had been up 2 hours!

This morning, Jack was suppose to be at mum's at 9am. However he had really upset tummy so didnt go in case he had a virus as he doesnt want his nan to get it. So I had him home

I went for a walk with mummy at 10am, went to hers and sat with the girls, trimmed truffs then my brother dropped me off home

I had lunch then I sat doing more stray beads. I felt so tired and wondered why I was punishing myself and at 2:30pm went to bed for an hour. When I woke up I cuddled hammington for half hour

had a brew with my jack and was starting to feel a bit crappy. Like my nose and throat are burning as if I have water up my nose. Its horrible

and as the evening has gone on I feel poorly. I swear the one time I go out and socialise and I get sick. I am gonna do a covid test in the morning cus i have symptoms

If I am honest I am secretly hoping its covid so I can have 10 days off work at it doesnt clock up time off sick youve had off cus its covid! but yeah we shall see. Jack says if I am poorly then I dont go school even if its not covid. He is right. I guess.

I drew a bit on my canvas and ordered some gold leaf. never worked with gold leaf and I would like to try it. 

gonna paint my nails tonight and die quietly in bed.....after more stray bead hunting

dont wanna go school tomorrow, had 5 days away from that awful place!!

oh also I havent seen a single second of queenie's funereal. 

like in a 48 coma here

 Evening

I didnt think I would sleep last night after the sheer amount I had slept through the day.  But after playing okami til 10pm I slept. I woke up at like 9am too....dear god. Jack had been up for 2 hours with Oz and was worried if I was gonna wake! XD

I got stomach ache after my breakfast cus I just do now.

We did go out to B&M and TK MAX in the morning as we wanted a few bits from B&M and I wanted to look round TK for halloween stuff but sadly there was next to nothing left of halloween stuff as  they had made way for christmas T^T we havent even had halloween yet! heck it aint even october!!!! so that was a bit depressing. We did get stuff, I was happy with nail varnish and plant pots~

We came back. I was dead. Honestly dead. I had to cook my lunchtime meat tho. So I got on with that. After lunch I didnt bother going to sleep as I couldnt bare to spend any more time in my bed! however, I am so tired now that I feel I should have just got on with it and gone to bed >.> I did manage - somehow - to clean the bathroom 

Then, as I had little mental capacity, I was on okami on the sofa looking for the stray beads. I have decided to do that saga....foolish XD 

I then looked at shelving on Wayfair. The ones i wanted tho Jack said are far too big >.> so I need to rethink. 

I did the dinner which was very nice. Korean spices which were actually making me cough cus it burnt my throat and made my nose run. Jack on the other hand had no such issues....damn him.

I havent done any exercise since thursday. I still dont feel up to an awful lot. However I need to do something. I was gonna do yoga but I dont feel up to it. So I have suggested to Jack that we do a short walk, come home and put Oz to bed then have a bath and maybe get him to massage my back and just watch anime and play switches in bed. 

tomorrow

Jack's mum rang him today and said theyre going to birmingham for his nan's birthday tomorrow and we're invited. I do not have the ability to do that in my current state. Jack said he would go and I am glad hes going. Its important to see grandparents. But he regretted saying he would go after he foundd out the day would be watching the queen's funereal....poor poor jack. 

so I will be home alone but mum says she will come try see me as she wants to hear about the wedding. I would like to do some damn painting. I am hoping come tomorrow I will be less corpse-like

I can not believe how much I have slept tho since the wedding. I feel I could spend 24 hours asleep. 

My Mia got married!

 Evening

I can't remember the last time I had to spend so many hours in my bed. 

Yesterday was a  day!! The recovery has been long, Jack had to the food shop without me

But I am so grateful I got to experience yesterday

Yesterday my friend of 26+ years got married to the love of her life, Rob, who shes been together with for 12 years now, coming 13 I think

So thursday night I drugged myself up massively so I would sleep, and it worked!

jack left for school, i had an easy morning and mum came to keep me company

I had a bath then she dried my hair for me whilst adding the various hair care products to give my hair a shine. I then went to add the band round my chest (part of the dress) and it wasnt staying, I dont know if it was because of the material or because I was wearing nipple pads and not a bra but it was bothering me and I felt like I would be very conscious of it all day. I took the nipple pads off as they felt uncomfortable - i have never used them before, and i wouldnt use them again! I got red nipples and boobs! so after I sorted them out I had to find a suitable bra, mum then had the job of safety pinning the band to my bra...poor mother.

she dropped me off at mia's I was an hour late. Luckily I had already done my base make up

the girls were there

sophie - mias older sister

sammi - mia's cousin

amelia - mias friend there to help for make up purposes.

so we just got chatting and got ready. I thought 5 hours was over kill. no. we were getting ready to last minute. I was last to be done and I was glad I had done some stuff at home! As sammi is a hairdresser she did all our hair and she did a fantastic job! i was so impressed

Mia's dad turned up to go in the wedding car with mia, however, our bridesmaid taxi did not turn up. Nor would the company pick up the damn phone! in the end sammi rang another company and mia and her dad set off before us so they had to wait round the back of the reception hall for us.

we got there tho

me and sophie felt sick. it was anxiety i know, nerves, and excitement

we had to wait for mia to in for her 'interview' to which I was like "what the heck is that about!?" she was being interviewed by 3 people!! 

her dad explained to me it was because they have to make sure the marriage is real and not forced into it, paid into it, that kinda thing. I had never thought of such awful things.

mia came out then it was our time to walk in!!

we all looked stunning, honestly. 

so sammi walked in first, then me, then sophie, then mia and her dad

mias mum and aunty were already in tears bless them

the vowels were said and I couldnt take my eyes off them. i was stunned. I was so happy, proud, amazed.

and was doing my best to not cry and ruin my make up and tire myself out! but I wanted to cry. I was so proud of her and so happy. she looked amazing and did all her vowels right. Rob did so well too bless him.

we then had photos outside, the vintage bus turned up. it was from like 1950s. it was a white knuckle ride, mia loved it. I felt like being sick. It was old and many hill starts. Sophie sat next to me and we were both white knuckling and making jokes. I get along just fine with her as Ive know her as long as Ive know mia.

we got to the reception venue which was Cozy Club, a victorian buliding in the city centre. It had old portraits on the wall, marble staircase - that kinda vibe! very old and fancy

we all sat in a small room for a quick drink and speeches. I offered in front of everyone to give a speech for mia as sophie was too nervous but mia suddenly thought about how much I would have to say and told me to sit back down XD everyone laughed. 

eventually the second room opened and other guests started to arrive

during the day  my mum had kindly spent time at my house keeping my loaf company, gardening with him and doing some cleaning up. I was so grateful. She was still there when Jack got in from work. Jack did his jobs and was late leaving due to fussing that loaf, but to be honest it meant that at no point did i worry about Oz as I knew he had been well looked after that day ^^

Jack turned up and we were mainly with sophie and her partner george as none of knew anyone else there. The second room was so loud. My throat hurt from raising my voice just to speak. I could barel hear people. Mia was up on the dance floor loving life. This is what she excels at - partying and being the centre of attention and taking photos. Shes like the perfect wedding host honestly!

there was a bit of food and I had a bit of cake but that was it, i had carried biscuits in my bag to snack on as i knew id need something but on the whole I didnt eat there. I ate when i got home.

it got to 9:30pm and I was struggling to walk by this point and knew I needed to get home. Mia had a room of 80+ people she wouldnt miss me going. so I told i we were off

I told her how lovely the day had been, how proud and happy i was for her and rob and that i want to keep supporting her. Rob came and said bye

truly a lovely day. it was perfect, well apart from dick taxis but yeah perfect. I am so thrilled for her. it was everything she wanted and she did it her way too.

we walked through the city centre to the bus stop and i was struggling to walk and breath as I was cold even with jack's suit jacket on and i hadnt brought my inhaler. we took the bus home, walked home which felt like miles. I had more drugs when i got home, hot hot hot bath to thaw out, an episode of anime, BED

sweet sweet bed

we both went out like lights and slept for almost 9 hours

it was a brilliant day.

she was staying in the pent house suite in a hotel in the city with rob last night I hope they had a lovely night together just the two of them. I cant wait to see her again

shes a wife!!!!

if i am brutally honest, whilst waiting for Jack to come to the reception, I sent him and my mum a text message saying

"I do not want to get married"

after seeing all the attention on mia, the photos, the social interactions, the everything

i just thought its all too much and i would HATE that

i would hate the attention and the party

it wouldnt be for me

but just has since talked to me and said we wouldnt have to do anything like that

we could just go to a registry office and be done with it. And privately do meet ups with people to 'celebrate' so that made me feel better. I hate my photo being taken but mia is like a model and lapped it up whereas id want to fall through a hole in the floor

id suck as a bride! mia excelled at it!

so yeah anyway

im gonna go now and hope that im not so much of a corpse tomorrow!

i will upload photos soon!

Sod it I'm working from home tomorrow

 Evening

I was so tired last night -______-

I slept well, still tossing in my sleep. But I did sleep.

This morning I once again woke with a headache and stomach ache - due to stress. I know it is. I once again, ate breakfast and ended up in the toilet. 

I am fed up of it all

I am fed up of walking in the prep room and having run round like a blue arse fly. Teacher wanting stuff when I AM CLEARLY DOING IT AS FAST AS I CAN

I do feel like a slave sometimes

also teaching bitching about not having equipment so I pointed to the side and the sheer amount of washing up bowls and said "theyre there. dirty. as I dont have time to clean up." so people grabbed dirty ones and took them to their labs. They might start to realise that  WE ARE STRUGGLING AND SNOWED UNDER. Head of biology was my main thorn in my side. She had the audacity to ask where he practical was - the very practical me and jack were rushing round to get out - jack turned to her and said "you'll get it when you get it" go jack

she also complained about not having any spotting tiles he said "your whole department has used them this week and we've not had time to wash them up" sweet jesus.

I was glad that Jack stood up for us. Between new technician darren and jack, a lot of washing up did happen today but other things suffered like the chemical order that needed to be in on friday and its wednesday.

I was stressed

you could hear my tummy it was screaming in pained knottyness

after the mad hour of getting all those praciticals out on time I sat down for my break, but had an extended break as I felt fainty. I know how I get when Ive been stressed out running around for an hour, so I stayed on the floor, Jack made me sweet tea and I ate my snack and I did get going again but it was time I did not have spare

I was so busy, we had another fire alarm as the kids in PE sprayed too much deodorant and set the fire alarm off. More time I didnt have to spare

it was 40mins before my home time and I hadnt even LOOKED at tomorrow

jack told me to leave and that he will do it

but I hated that

but then I felt how I was feeling, my legs were starting to twinge in pain, I was tired, in pain, headachy and had enough

I said to jack I would take work home to work from home tomorrow in case I am bad and he said "thats a great idea, work from home" I said "no work from home INCASE" he said "No, work from home" and hes right. Im gonna have nothing for mia's wedding at this rate.

so yeah sod em. tomorrow I am looking after myself and working from home

i got home and had lunch with Oz and mum and went bed - my daily routine

got up, hung washing out, did 40mins of yoga, bleached and dyed eyebrows/eyelashes, had a bath and now we're gonna have dinner then Jack has gaming with his brother. He's not had it for a month!

dont know what I will do

tomorrow

im working from home, and the windowsill guy might have a spare minute to do my windowsills or he will do them saturday

but thats it

i am done

MerPer

 Evening

I slept well last night, although I was throwing myself in my sleep a lot. Maybe I was aching in my sleep. Yeah probably.

I didnt want breakfast, ate breakfast, in toilet

same of crap

literally XD

so I am there travelling to school with the hot bag on my tummy and all I wanna do is be in a ball on my bed.

school was hard going. Practicals. so many practicals. Im so over it. I look at them and think "whats the point? this is practical for the sake of doing practical" My washing up pile is growing as I do not have time to give out practicals and wash practicals up. I have warned teachers I am gonna run out of glass wear soon!

I was starving at school. Like mega hungry. Not sure why. I couldnt wait to get home and eat and I have eaten a lot through out the day~ we all get days like that. 

so after I had seen mummy for lunch

I went to bed for 90mins and felt like I could have slept for longer if I am honest but I knew I needed to sleep tonight kinda thing. So I got up, I painted the pole for the 6th time, I am so over it. Also cleaned out the girls cage, also cut up the veg and meat for tomorrow's curry, cooked Jack's sausages for his lunch and that was it. Nothing for myself.

Jack said I had done too much. I didnt feel like I had done much but he said it was a lot and so when he came home and had dinner with me, he did me a list for the next two days. He says I might benefit from being structured so I am not doing shed loads. 

I was gutted that I couldnt watch overlord whilst eating dinner as it turns out we've caught up with the latest episode! I had no idea! So gotta wait for that now >.> we started watching another anime but I found it slow and dull but I will give it another episode then make my decision. If not I wanna watch the rising of the shield hero season 2!

I did a work out after dinner whilst Jack talked to his sister on the phone who moved to uni on saturday. Then I had a bath~ the water was a great temperature but I was too restless to allow myself to soak in it T^T 

Tomorrow

school and stew/curry morning. Should see mummy after school. Gonna dye my eyelashes and eyebrows for the wedding as well. 

dont wanna go school tho >.>

been thinking of doing another painting. I have been really struggling with my digital art. Just really not enjoying it to the point where I am thinking about buying an ipad so I can sit and draw on that to see if that helps my creative chore. But I could do a painting in the meantime whilst I am thinking about buying an ipad. Here is the last painting I did, the MerPer (mermaid wooper)

I think I've always been a spaz and always will be

 Evening

I slept last night, I turned off my switch at 9pm I was DEAD. My alarm went off but I needed more sleep than that so I did feel allllll of today but I have a job to attend to >.>

School, my anxiety was BAD like really bad. I had practicals period 1 to do and jack supported me all the way. At 9pm the new technician showed up so Jack was looking after him. I was managing stuff myself tho somehow. I remembered to take my breaks too. We had our fire drill and whilst waiting outside to have our names called a teacher said to me "what you doing jigging around" I hadnt noticed

back in the day 15 years ago, my form tutor at school would tell me off during fire drill saying "stand in line Joanne! keep still"

I havent changed in 15+ years? ^^; youd think I would know how to behave XD

I blame it on the ADHD

its easier and less tiring on me to just let my body run with the ADHD than to bottle it up and look like a 'normal' person. Im beyond carrying what people must think of me at work now. 

I came home to find mummy already and had let Oz out bless him. He came in for lunch. Mum stayed for lunch then left me to collapse on my bed for a whole 90mins the only reason I woke up was because I thought someone was knocking at my door so I bolted up and ran to the front door - no one there of course. But I was up now

I managed an hour of yoga~ what an achievement 

I wondered where the hell Jack was from warhammer but he had got on the bus home but forgot to txt me he was travelling home.

He got in and I did the dinner and he ran the window guy whos coming again at the weekend, we needed to confirm a few things.

we had dinner, I was glad we ate together. i wanted to eat with him and watch anime. I dont feel like I have spent much time with him lately and I wanted to at least have dinner with him.

I did a 5th coat outside on the pole and it is looking good I think a 6th coat will finish it to be honest then I will paint the wall~

I had a nice hot bath

Not sure if I will do any drawing not really in the mood

I havent been enjoying digital art lately for some reason

tomorrow~

school ugh

school again. Got some hard practicals too. Mummy should be seeing me after for lunch

And here is the birthday card I made for Jack's youngest sister last month - its of her bunnies Skyler and Thumper, she LOVED it 

Saw mia one last time before the wedding!

 Evening

Could I sleep last night? could I bob. Far too much going off in my mind. I had been restless all day physically and now it was time to be restless mentally. Of course. -_____- So I did get up for fruit loaf and drugs and went back to bed. I still couldnt sleep so I got up, I put the pulled on at 1am - as you do - as we were eating cold on salad today anyway so it didnt need to warm. I think what was causing me to not sleep was stressing about how much I had to do today. So I put the pulled pork on, one less thing to do. I wrote a to-do list for each day this week so I would know what to do for mia's wedding. At 1;30am I returned to my bed.

I woke up at 8:20am and I could have easily have slept longer but I wanted to clean the bathroom before Mia came over. So I got up and saw to the pets, and had breakfast, cleaned bathroom, got ready then Mia came over 9:30am. I am so glad to have seen her once last before the day!

So we sat talking about the wedding and stuff. We sat with the girls who were very very well behaved. Mia loves guineas so she was happy with seeing them

I altered her dress a lil bit more. She showed me her shoes too

she left and it was 11:50am I then had to cook mine and Jack's meat for the week and for that lunch. I also made a cake whilst that was cooking. We sat and had lunch. I thought I would be allowed to rest but no my ADHD treadmill life of restlessness would not quit. I went to put a 3rd coat on the pipes

I fixed a bow that had come apart

Mum came over for sows so I sorted all that out 

she left and mia turned up wit her cousins dress that needed making shorter so I sat and did that

then mum came over and dyed my hair ^^ I am fresh~

then I washed all that out and dried my hair

Mia showed up for the dress. I have sorted dresses out. I didnt like keeping such valuable dresses

All of the salad is chopped/cooked/sorted it just needs dishing up. I have told Jack he is doing dinner tonight. He looked panicked XD then realised it was just a case of dishing up, he has a sweat on but I think he can do it XD

I cut his hair for him so hes tidy for the wedding reception hes going to

We will have dinner when hes come of the shower.

and jesus christ please can rest!? I AM EXHAUSTED

I havent exercised today as I cant bare to tire my body out any further

I needed rest this weekend but some reason I am stupidly restless

I have told jack I dont wanna go school tomorrow. I have hard practicals and I dont wanna get runned ragged and get burned out and turn up at mia's wedding on friday a pale tired corpse

I need to be selfish this week at work and really look after myself and do the bare minimum 

we have the new technician starting tomorrow so hopefully things should be a lil easier

dont wanna go tho

it was lovely seeing mia today tho. I felt better about hearing about the day. I can not believe its less than a week shes so excited and happy and I feel I have the same emotions. It honestly feels better than my birthday or christmas! I am so excited and happy for her. I can not wait to share the day with her and make memories for life~

productive saturday, seeing Mia tomorrow for last minute wedding prep

 Evening

I slept really well last night, to say Jack didnt come to bed with me XD 

We got up at 7:30am so we could get our morning shop done out the way. We of course had pets to sort out first. Oz was upset with me because I went to the girls first instead of him. But Jack was seeing to him the same time I saw to girls. He just wants all the attention >.> we got out the house at 8:40am. The girls were happy to go home to their morning salad. They purred. I keep them in their daily routine mum does.

Shopping was fine, except for my behaviour. Im not sure if its because i took my meds too late or because I didnt have breakfast due to stomach aches but my behaviour was bad. Like my ADHD was in overdrive. I couldnt keep still, I moving a lot, impatient, walking off. Yeah I apologised to Jack many times....after shopping we went post office after wards for my missed parcels. 

We got home and unpacked. I made Tara a birthday card then I cleaned Oz out

My brother came to collect my car, he has been cleaning it like 5 hours. He even went as far as to remove the wheels so he could thoroughly clean behind them....sweet jesus.

after lunch I saw Jack off who was going into the city centre and I went to bed. I woke up almost 2 hours later, he txt as  I woke up to say he was on the bus home! so it was like he never left! He hadnt had the most successful of trips but came away with pokemon codes so that was good!

Then we had a cup of tea with half a doughnut each as Jack bought us a doughnut and my brother to say thank you. We then went outside he did some weeding out front and I painted the pipes. I have done 2 coats. I might get a third done tonight, but the pink is very inoffensive and almost blends with the brick work so I am very pleased with it.

my brother delivered my car off as I was making tonights salad with Jack. It looks stunning hes done a banging job, he appreciated his doughnut. That lad has worked hard. I feel I need to get him more than that!

We had our salad and then I did a 2nd coat outside. Now we are gonna go for a lil walk together whilst its nice out, have a bath, sow sit and yeah chill out.

tomorrow

seeing mia at 9:30am and then at some point mum is coming for her babies~ 

mias birthday card this year

Mia's wedding this time next week~

 Evening

annoyingly Jack didnt get a lift home from his mum's yesterday. So I ended up doing the washing up he told me not to do, my drugs, keeping the bath warm and going to bed by myself. He came in, bathed and crawled into bed. I didnt talk much to him as I had already wound down for the night. He was in bed by 9:30pm. I slept ok tho to be honest

I had stressed upset tummy after breakfast as you do~

Work was stressful as I had my routine ruined and I got a lil teary as it was just too much too soon. I hate mad dashing round. Stresses me out. shouldnt have to be this way. Jack supported me but I couldnt wait to finish. I got to talk to lizi and chris so that was something~

I got home, I found piglets in my garage ^^ yeuss~ I love it. I got Oz out, had lunch and slept for 2 hours!!! 2 freaking hours! I sleep for britain here >.>

I got up and I put the girls out for it to rain 7mins later so I sat with them on my knee which was nice. I got guinea licks. Then once it stopped raining after 10 pointless minutes I put them out again. And my god, they have savaged my grass XD

I got dinner ready for when Jack came home

we had food, I just wanted it done out the way to be honest

then I went to go sand stuff down outside as I might do some painting tomorrow if I feel like it. so I am a bit dusty but waiting my turn to go into the shower. I let Jack go first as hes got gaming. 

I dont know if I will exercise today as I am physically and mentally exhausted with a bit of stomach pains thrown in for good measure

this time next week I will be at mia's wedding!!! Here is here wedding card I made

tomorrow

food shop in the morning and then my brother my brother might rob my car for a deep clean. So I have no choice put to be here really so I might paint. I got chores to do and piglets to enjoy~~

Queen died yesterday, mum sent me a txt in the evening. Queen dead.

did not see that happening. Only just got all the notes and coins in circulation, gotta start again huh, Poor queenie~ 

I get piglets again tomorrow!

 Evening

Last night my brother popped over to help me with a few things with my new car. If I can not get my dad involved I wont! and luckily my brother is amazing with cars and solved my issues~

I couldnt wait for anime to finish as I had horrendous stomach pains so as soon as the credits started I ran to the bathroom.

I was soooooooooooo dead last night. really tired. I also had horrific stomach ache. I had my hot bag constantly on my stomach, it was stress tummy. I looked 3 months pregnant and my skin felt stretched. I couldnt wait for sleep to take me. I hardly played okami. I defeated the nine tail fox and that was it really. I slept pretty well too

This morning I could tell my stomach was fragile. I didnt really want breakfast and almost skipped but I knew I would be energyless at work so I forced food down my throat to only end up in the bathroom. My life is so depressing right now. Travelling to work with stomach ache

school was easier today. No pracs for me~ so yeah wasnt too bad just a bit boring if I am honest. I couldnt wait for the day to go. I felt sooo tired. Like I needed a strong caffeine shot.

I came home and had lunch with mum  and Oz, he helped himself to her fruit salad! the cheek of some buns, he had already had his piece too! greed! 

I went to bed for 2 hours. 2 hours!!! waste my life in that bed

I got up and sat on my laptop for a lil while. Then made the girls hutch up, then made jack's lunch for tomorrow. Then I did my dinner. As I am home alone this evening, Jack has gone over to his family's for dinner. I am hoping he wont be home late tho as Oz is looking for him bless him.

I am not sure what I will do tonight tho. I feel I could go straight to bed! I need to exercise and I did wonder about maybe learning a dance, but I dont know. I dont feel like my heart is in it. So  i might go on just dance for a bit. then have a bath and leave the bath for Jack

tomorrow

school shouldnt be too bad, I have a couple of demo practicals and a class prac but it shouldnt be too bad? whilst I am at school mummy is dropping off her piglets so I am excited for that!

Jack might have gaming too. so I might be alone all evening. I hope the weather is good so I can put the girls out. We havent cut our grass in a while so they would have something to eat when they stay XD this was a photo taken a few weeks ago but the garden has come on more since then

We told everyone I am sick

 Evening

I went to bed with stress tummy ache....

I slept kinda okish I guess. I heard a cat on the fence and woke up to scare it off. Yes a cat jumping on the fence is all it takes to wake me. Light sleeper AF

I felt a bit low this morning about school. I didnt want breakfast because my stomach already felt knotted. Once I had breakfast I was in that toilet. So I had to travel to school with stomach ache then as soon as we got in I had to fast as I had 2 big practicals to sort. Theyre not hard they just take time. and I have head of biology bitching away at me with her demands. I couldnt go any faster. I made her wait and gave the other practical out first!

I was exhausted after all that. My morning felt very full on. I couldnt wait to leave!

I got home had lunch with mummy and Oz, went to bed, hung washing out, put 10 new songs on my ipod. I havent updated my ipod in like a year. So I am just listening to the same old stuff cus I have been a bit out of touch with music to be honest. I have been enjoying more vlogs the music videos. but now I have new things to listen to at school. I use my headphones a lot at school lately

Then I did 40mins of yoga, then Jack got home. He had been given a list from head of science as the department meeting finished late so he gave Jack a lift home which was nice of him. Jack had told everyone I am sick and ways to support me. He said everyone was very receptive and understanding ^^ I hope I dont get any different treatment tomorrow. He didnt say my illnesses or whats up with me. Just that I have long term illnesses. I didnt want to disclose my life, no one would understand anyway

we had dinner, which was a new recipe, it was ok just a bit bland really. Not sure how I would improve it or even if I would make it again!

I will have a bath when my stomach has gone off a bit. I had cake and hot chocolate for lunch it was great XD

then tonight I will do some drawing as I didnt get round to it last night I was too drained

tomorrow is school and Jack is going over to his mum's for dinner to say bye to his sister who is going to uni this weekend! so I will be home alone for a while. mum will see me, I also have to make the girls cage up as they will be here to stay this weekend!

we've been watching Highschool DXD at night, so many boobs...my eyes were burned. No need for that amount of nipple shots.

Just look at this regal loaf who expects fuss and grooming when jack comes home X3

Upset at school after just 1 week

 Evening

I actually did sleep pretty well, I didnt think I would as I was playing Okami and getting pretty worked up XD

This morning I couldnt really be bothered with school, had stomach pains and such

My day at school was horrible. everyone is stressed out. the only people who arent stressed out are those in management. everyone is in a bad negative funk and its horrible to be around. school is just so terrible, poorly organised, funding spent poorly, the management is isnt even management. Its  horrible. I was stressed out

whats more is people are still treating me like a full time member of staff. I AM PART TIME!!!

stop asking for all this stuff when  I only work half the time. I have gone back to trying to fit 8 hours in 4 and it just cant be done. I got upset. I had had enough. i feel awful for jack for getting upset on him as he has so much to deal with all ready and is already stressed out.

He says to always ask him for help. but everyone always goes to him. my greatest fear at work isnt spilling acid on myself or burning myself. Its Jack burning out. I worry about him burning out and having nothing to give. Selfishly, I need him. He is not just my boyfriend hes also in a way my career and if he gets burned out, I lose my support and it will be hard for me to see him in such a state too of course.

I went home and had lunch by myself, I told mum I just needed to be quiet and go to be as I had had enough. I was a bit tearful. Its the despair of the job.

when i got up Jack rang me at work to see if I was ok which was nice of him. Mum phoned me also straight after to see if I was alright, clearly got people worried ><

I havent done much else all afternoon as I needed rest to be honest. I dont get to achieve anything with my afternoon. I did have a look for jobs but wasnt anything so i got the dinner ready and repotted a plant. Then Jack came home. We had dinner.

I told him I need to do a work out of some description but I am just not in the mood for anything so he suggested a walk so we are gonna go for a walk! the sun is out but its a good temperature and theres a breeze then it will be bath time. 

injuries~~

my leg still hurt from doing squats!! can you believe that!? 

I used this 'crystal hair remover' dont ever buy!! it doesnt work but what it has done is taken the top layer of skin off my arms, they feel SORE like sun burn sore

I almost dropped the prep room phone and my stupid reactions went to catch it and instead i hit myself in the face with it.....the outer corner of my eye and temple. It made me yell out in surprise! it HURTTTT like hell and it felt burny afterwards so ice packed it, its now bruising. I am hoping it doesnt turn into a black eye.....never had one before, we shall see in the morning~

tomorrow is another soul destroying day at school

We had a storm

 Evening

My brother text me at 9am, screenshotting my cousin's facebook, that she had gotten engaged! good for her I guess! shes been together for a year? he wants her to have children. so I knew she was gonna ether get engaged by the end of the year or knocked up. theres a video online of the proposal....why? why would you put that for all to see!? the proposal happened in a restaurant in front of a load of people - watching - then clapped afterwards. I told Jack about this and I was like "i would want the floor to swallow me whole at that point. I would hate the attention, and the clapping? Im not American!!" But good for her I  just hope its right for her, her relationship worries me a lil at times. But what do I know. Wonder if he asked my uncle's permission XD

So last night, I couldnt sleep. I just laid there wide awake but tired. It sucked. At midnight I got up for pain killers and fruit loaf. went back to bed to continue laying there. The whole evening was stuffy and I felt like I couldnt even sweat to cool down.Then at 2am the first rumble started.

we had 30mins of thunder and lightening and heavy down pour

I was just there watching in the living room, wondering if Oz and the girls were ok. I was also wondering "just how the hell is jack sleeping through this!?" at 2:10am a bigggg rumble and flash was above the house - that one woke Jack

he found me and we talked a little bit, I got a bit teary but I think that was out of tiredness. I was upset about going school and my fear of burning out. Year and year, term after term of burn out.

we went to bed and I fell asleep around 3am. Yup a whole 3 hours sleep to go to work on

I was kinda ok when I got  up the in the morning, like i have been to work if far worse condition!

me and jack talked about maybe telling the science department that I am sick - I mean it should be obvious to them by now! but not tell them what is up with me as no one will understand anyway. But to make them aware, and that Jack will structure my day so I dont burn out. He gets me the most so he knows what I can do.

work was ok I guess, bit dull and slow but I got it done. Mum was at my house cleaning my windows which was so nice of her. so she was here when I got home. We had lunch together. I spoke to her about telling the department about me and she thought it was a good idea. so jack is gonna tell everyone in the department meeting wednesday after school - glad I will be home to miss it!

I went to bed for a good hour to try catch up on my sleep

I got up and did 45 mins of yoga, my legs KILL after yesterdays leg and booty work out...jesus it was only 12 minutes long but I feel like i have been riding a horse in the night. squats, too many squats

I havent done a whole lot since then really. jack came home and we had food we both groomed Oz together - he loved it, had a bath, and then I looked at clothes online, then doing diary. might get round to some drawing who knows

I kinda just want my bed at this point!

oh heres the new plant I got yesterday, cute right~ I put it out the rain for a water~

tomorrow

school, just school really :/

Drew my tattoo

 Morning~~~

I was struggling to sleep last night, just couldnt sleep cus I was aching - I had done too much ^^;

so we got up and I had pain killers and fruit loaf, we were only up til 10:45pm tho so it wasnt too bad. I slept well. I dreamed of vampires. 

we woke up at 8:50am, Jack's first words were "its ten to nine!? Oz is not going to be pleased" and he went straight out to that loaf. He loves that rabbit. Almost feel second best here! XD

I felt a bit flat this morning, I just couldnt get going with anything. Just didnt know how to start my day. I didnt have breakfast as my stomach wasnt happy. Jack found me on the bed at 10am and came to structure my day ^^ he says we would go garden centre for cacti and I have meat to cook and cake to make, do art together. I instantly felt better about the day

so we got ready to go out to garden centre. 

we got in the car and the engine management light came on. This worried me. So we called in at my parents house for my dad to look at the car. He doesnt mind. So I was with mum whilst the 3 men were round the XD dad said it was nothing to worry about. Just needs a good run as its been stood a month without use. 

so we left there for the garden centre. I picked up a cute money monkey plant up and 2 oils to put in the diffuser at night, theyre so nice I cant wait to use them!

we came home and I had a bit to eat and then I cooked meat for lunch

we had lunch

and then after lunch I laid on the bed next to Jack whilst he played on skyrim

I then repotted my new plant, its happy and I like it. Ive always wanted one of those but never seen them before

we then sat together doing art. Jack warhammer. and me, well....since my 30th (in february) I have been thinking about a tattoo. I know what I want. the design has not changed. I am scared stiff of getting the tattoo tho. Which is why I havent gone and got it done! but then I didnt want it done, then I did, then I didnt. And all in all, I was glad I had been too scared to go so it meant I didnt rush into getting a tattoo that I would regret. I came across INKBOX a sight were you get temporary tattoos, I found out about them a few months ago but only 3 days ago did I look at the sight and realised you can make your own tattoos!! you can have your own design!

so I decided to make a digital image of the tattoo I want. I was disappointed that I couldnt have colour, you could only have black :/ but still. 

so here's my tattoo

it combines the bunny Jack drew for me for my 29th birthday 

I added the pumpkins as I have true love of pumpkins. I like the design. INKBOX tattoos take 2-3 days to sink into your skin then last about 2 weeks. It cost me £18 for a 2" tattoo!!! thats almost the price of a real tattoo!!! can you believe that!? but if it means I can see it on my body, see how I feel, see what I think. Before committing to it for life, then its £18 well spent. Im actually really excited for this. So thats the art I was doing XD

I then made a cake

I had a look at my work wear. I have been wearing loose trousers/joggers for work for months. Because I was so body conscious, I couldnt bare to wear anything fitted i.e. tights/leggings. But now I have come to accept I am fat. It aint gonna get any better. I dont care. So I am ok wearing tighter stuff now. I thought I would go into work in a skirt or shorts tomorrow teamed with tights.

But I had a look at my work skirts and tights....theyre so tired and worn looking. I never pay much for my clothes. I always buy online so much cheaper from ebay people selling unwanted clothes complete with their tags! So I cleared out some crap, I could have done this ages ago if I knew the state of my wardrobe!

So this meant I was then looking at clothes online. Luckily you can get new with tags boohoo clothes for like £5 of ebay. So new school wear wont cost too much. Not everything is worn out but the stuff that is ok is my winter wear - wool skirts etc

Now just doing dinner

I will do a growwithjo later and have my weekly pamper in the bath

tomorrow is school T^T