first self harm thoughts of the school term

 Evening

I was really low in bed last night. 

Had my first self harming thoughts of the school term!

I havent told anyone tho, dont want them to worry. I wasnt gonna do anything, I just had thoughts. Thoughts about whats the point of my life, what makes me happy? when do I feel happy? whats the point of my life? that kinda lovely thinking

I fell asleep around 10pm, I had played Okami over an hour

We got up early for food shopping, which went fine.

We got home and had a brew after unpacking, I had the other half of my breakfast as I couldnt face eating breakfast before shopping as I already had stomach ache. I wanted to get off shopping and not sitting on the toilet. So I ate when I got in.

I cleaned Oz out

I cleaned the bathroom

we had lunch

I then flopped on my bed, I was wanting sleep. But my phone rang

my dad was on his way over to sell the corsa on my driveway

well that was it. Wide awake. Just staring blankly at my wall. Who can sleep when they know my dad is round the corner. So I got up

he came and was outside with the people, I started cleaning out my new car. I know its suppose to rain allllll of next week so I am not gonna wash it this weekend just to drive through puddles. But I thought i would disinfect the inside at least. Jack saw what I was doing and instantly came to give me a hand ^^

my dad left after selling the corsa

I then sat down with a brew

we got up and went for a walk for 50mins which was quite nice. We got back and had an early bath. Then Jack went to go game. I was looking at clothes online as you do.

Then I got on with dinner as I was hungry.

after dinner, I did my daily routine of watering the grass seed

then I cut out the magnets for my garage door and it is finished off nicely now ^^

it got to 6:15pm and Jack was saying I just need to sit quietly for a bit now. Done too much and I know I have been on the go all time. He says tomorrow I gotta have a rest day T^T the hardest of days. we might go garden centre tho tomorrow :3 

so I am currently sat in my lounge with ricky gervais show on dvd playing cus I needed to see it again. Oz is by my feet. I need to do some actual drawing tho

tomorrow

should be an easier day? ^^;