Evening
I havent been doing my diary due to my laptop playing on the downstairs TV to drown out the sounds of fireworks from bonfire night, I did not want Jack reading my diary. He would die at my poor grammar.... But we've been Bun Sitting past two nights. To be honest I thought it was gonna REALLY bad fireworks wise this year as bonfire night - the 5th - actually fell on a saturday night not on a weekday
but it wasnt that bad. I have known it worse. Maybe its because people dont have the money for fireworks? thats all I can think of as the weather was good for it. Loaf was good anyway. He was going to bed later and loving all the extra fuss and treats. My face had been washed so much XD
So this weekend has been ok. The whole of yesterday went to chores and cooking but it meant today was a lot more freeier for me. We did our foodshop I came out the shop and had a full on meltdown, tears the lot, all in the car. I waited in the car whilst Jack did the second shop. We got home and I hated myself. Apologised a lot for my stupid pointless childish outburst I still have at the age of 30. Jack never tells me off or tells me to get a grip. He is so understanding as says I cant help how i feel. In all honesty I have no clue where it all came from. I didnt feel right the whole day, like I hadnt had my antidepressant
I didnt sleep well ether as I was in pain and thinking about my 'informal' meeting tomorrow. I know realistically it is nothing to worry about. But I cant seem to move past it and just keep focusing on it. I want it done and dusted. I hope i sleep tonight and not just worrying about it. Jack did a run through the meeting today with me and will be right next to me tomorrow during the actual meeting.
we did a nice 45 min autumn walk along side the woods this morning. Good job we did that when we did as it rained heavily in the afternoon, so I put my plants out for a water. I never did find any more plants to replace my dead ones but theres no rush
I sat and made a card for Lizi's birthday in december so it was nice to do some art today, I painted my nails yesterday too. I havent managed any digital work tho. Not been in the mood. I do enjoy drawing with a pen tho I have to say. Im tempted to sit doodling in the morning before school whilst eating breakfast as usually I scroll through art on instagram but I have to say for some time now, I have not been enjoying instagram its just so shite. really is. I dont post on any social media anymore. dont see the point in all honesty. But seeing what other put up is just crap. it really is. the whole 'reels' and 'tiktok' yeah, im out. I only go on intragram to look at bunnies and art but its getting old. I feel like doing something better with that 10/15mins in the morning whilst having breakfast
so I might do that. Whip out an old note pad and black biro and just doodle whilst eating. I'll sort that tonight. Im gonna challenge myself. Just decided. a whole week of no instagram (id say social media but i literally only have instagram) see if I prefer it
Jack is gaming tonight with Theo but has set an alarm to come off at 9pm as I told him I need him tonight in case I am worrying stupidly over school tomorrow
so I am gonna go sort that notebook out and play on my switch in bed. Not got long to finish disgaea4 before new pokemon comes out!!
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