Good Day Minna-san~
Jozu here~
Today I had a really lovely day, simply but I seemed to have
enjoyed every minute of it
And I refuse to believe its because of the antin-depressiants I started yesterday
no, I am just in a good mood thats all :)
This morning I cleaned out all the pets~ I was a good job done
and I was happy that I was able to do it for Mum as she usually
cleans lily and pinky out and has been doing the little ones too
despite me saying "i'll do them!" she always does them >,<
I did whack my hand very badly it made me yell out but i didnt swear
Jozu never swears or curses ^^
but the pain was going from my hands to my finger tip
very painful now i have a lump and a gash >.>
it'll heal
Then I went straight on to making biscuits for tomorrow's trip
they didnt take me long at all
then I was still in the kitchen preparing the evening's BBQ meat
then I finally had a sit down XD
but doing all that was good for me
I sorted out a few bits for work and other bits
I had to leave for a birthday party at 1:15pm
I got there fine and saw Seth
It was probably the best birthday party i have done simply because
Seth insisted to train me up so i got to a lot more than i usually do
at birthday parties, the main one being I was in charge of the candy floss machine!!!
Yes I got to use it and serve it out ^^ I helped with other things
that made me feel useful instead of just being an assistant
He said I need to have more confidence in myself
which I know I do when it comes to work ><
but it was so nice to be taught by a man and not be insulted,
made to feel stupid, get annoyed, talked down by, patronized
as this is how i was brought up with my dad
its quite surreal to have a man being so nice to me whilst being taught
I came home and did a bit of dancing straight away
and hoola hooping outside too which was nice~
I also re-potted my bedroom plant; the one I rescued at a
garden center on Mother's Day, i brought a new pot for it yesterday
I added buttons on top for extra decoration~
I cooked the BBQ for my family and brother's girlfriend too
Now Im just on here and gonna retire for the night with my pets
and my book, after I have sorted out my things for tomorrow
as tomorrow I am going to Whitby!!!!!
freakin' Whitby! I am so happy
I am going with Lynn and her and husband have paid for me to go ><
Ive baked some cookies for us and I want to buy her lunch as a thank you
I have to be at the coach for 7:45am tho ><
Konbanwa minna-san
Today I uploaded a dance I feel like I have been working
on for ages now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFtdAtLcCU8
feels good to get it done and to say i only uploaded it
a few hours ago it already has 50 views ^^
Today I sat and drew this morning
Im drawing a yoga picture for my yoga teacher Karen-san
shes lovely and I just want to do it for her
im not that far yet as I havent been able to do any more
since this morning ><
Then I had lunch outside and went out with mum
we went to the same shops as I went to with Mia yesterday :/
a bit annoying but I knew it was coming XD i dont mind really
then we went to the office and I knew I was gonna be quick this
week as I only needed one box, I also got told I can do
a 2 hour bday party tomorrow so I took the job ^^
It was nice to see everyone
Seth-san was showing me this really random game which im so gonna google
"petals of the rose"
bazaar game I couldnt understand and nether could Dan
Dan I told him "your quiet this week"
Dan "you think so?"
Me "year cus last week you were really irritating"
me and my big mouth
i turned round grabbed my box and went to walk to my car
when i was getting tickled and jabbed by Dan!!!! infuriating man!
how the hell did he know i was ticklish damn it =>.<=
then from there we went to a home store and picked up some bits
mainly for the garden but we also got new yoga mats
they are like luxury, they are soooooo padded so they feel much better on the bones
Mine is pink mum's is grey
then I came home and rested and went out for a walk with mia
she wanted a walk i really really couldnt be bothered
but i said to myself " dont be a fat lazy girl and go!! dont let mia down"
i was tired tho my legs hurt >.> we talked mainly about yesterdays walk with helina...
now Im home just sorting a few bits out on my laptop
and id like to draw but i havent danced properly lately
so i need to practice for next week!
Oh and as of today I am back on anti-depressiants......so no happy right now
i managed to come off them for 2 weeks but im started to crack
im not coping i know im not and i have told mum this a few times
and this morning she said
"i could tell you werent coping, your not the same person your awful,
and i wanted to tell you but i knew how much it meant to you coming
off tablets but i think you need them, i was gonna wait til you broke
but i thought til would be too late by then"
yeah cus i am at breaking point soon
so i gave in and took my pills. I HATE NEEDING MEDICINE
but im becoming my true self which is a horrible person
i am naturally a horrible spiteful selfish person
learning that thats how i am isnt nice and i decided to change myself
as i was upsetting my family, well what can i say - i take after my dad
so i bottle it up and put on a different persona, one people like
but when i am not feeling mentally strong my persona comes
crumbling down to revel the ugliness inside
so i need to be strong for the sake of those around me
oh and here's my lamp by the way~
Good Evening
Im currently trying to chill out in front of my laptop
after going for a walk with helina and mia and hearing the
utter S*** about helina's so called "relationship" with her Fiance
It does my head in so bad that i just want to shake her and whack him
I've told my friends and my mum that if i was ever to be in a relationship
such as hers to shake me and tell me to dump him!!!
maddening
Today anyway I sat and stitched the rest of my scraps together
making this rectangle of material
I now have no idea what I could make with it
so any suggestions would be nice
Im sure something will come up and I can use it
I just wanted to do it, its only scraps so nothing lost
I did a lil bit of dancing today but saved my energy as i knew id be
going for a walk in the evening
Mia texted to see if I want to go shopping with her at 1:15
so of course I went I brought a few things, for bargin prices!!!
This red dress, is more a winter thing hence why it was in the sale
just £9!!! Its new and everything, its incredibly heavy as the fabric is thick
and it is also lined!! I was over the moon.
I brought this face cream that was reduced to £3 honey and peach X3
Also this mascara I have always wanted to try but its usually £7+
and I didnt want to pay out that but it was reduced to under £5
so I thought "it aint gonna get any better" so i brought it ^^
I also brought 2 new bras, 1 was £5 and the same as I brought last week
well if it fits and is soft and only £5 i dont mind having 2 after all who's gonna see em?
The other one was only £2....£2 i dont think you can even buy a bra at Primark for £2
so I was well happy with my bargins
came home had a brew with Mia and a chat then she went home whilst
I had dinner with my family then went for a walk with helina and mia
now Im home relaxing but sorting a few things out on my laptop
in preparation for tomorrow
Tomorrow I have got to go to bloody office again =.=
Konbanwa~
this morning I woke to my mum shouting
"Spider!!!! Spider!! can someone come!? can someone come get it!?"
yeah she hates them big style XD
I have been doing sewing this morning
I have almost finished a whole patch of those leftover scraps I was using
but what I will do with them I have no idea
I dont know what to make with them :/
I did some dancing too
Today I weighed myself and was disgusted in myself
and have put myself on a strict diet til now til the convention >.>
Its not because I think "my god im so fat" i know thats not the reality
but its mentally, i struggle mentally i guess it must be a bit how
anorexic suffers must feel, as i get my head having a go at me each and every day
for what i have eaten, how much and how much i weigh
so when the scales arent kind to me the worse and more frequent such thoughts become
and since coming off anti-depressiants it has made my mental state....hard i guess
I decided to do some more exercise too so i will make sure to get sweaty
in dance practice and to walk everyday, i went for a walk today
anyway I finished a book last night and brought the next one
im super addicted! something I thought id never say about reading XD
I had work which went well kids enjoyed it
and got all the work done even if some of them are spoilt little brats >.>
I have been trying to print off a tax return form and got stressed out
big time with it as i dont get any help not that i asked for it
i have no understanding of tax what so ever
so i got a bit upset
but i have yoga in half hour that will relax me~
See what tomorrow brings~
I took a photo of a poppy in the garden
Oha~
Last night I was looking at photos of me and my friends
I realized that I have high cheek bones
My dad has high cheek bones so thats where I get it from
I have never realized, I googled it but got bored
but apparently it said "those with high cheeks bones and big eyes
are attractive in a male's eyes" yeah right >.>
cant say i see the cue of guys lining up outside my front door
thank god!! XD
I saw my lamp lit up last night it was so pretty im so pleased with it
im still waiting for my brother to photograph it tho
This morning I started dancing Angerme's new song "ups and downs"
but I kept getting blind spots, i couldnt see the dance so I ended
up giving up until ether more live videos are out or the dance shot is released
but I hate waiting for it!! I think I found another dance to keep me
quiet in the mean time
I made dinner for my family
heart shaped burgers and chips
all made from scratch~
i was pleased and everyone liked it
much to my relief
I started sewing all my scraps, i went searching in my wardrobe
for labels out of my clothes, some are interesting ^^
so i got quite far. Lynn rang and shes gonna have a rummage round
for some scraps for me to add to my project
she was filling my in about sunday, as this sunday im going...
Whitby!!! Woo!! a coach journey with Lynn to the seaside ^^
such happiness, i get to get away from home on a sunday
and im going somewhere i love :D
Ive been sitting with the pets outside today
i sat with mum and ate the last piece of cake with her
tiffin sat between her legs, giving her attention not me >.>
we had a tiff so i think he was avoiding me
mum says "hes not that smart" oh but he is
Basically Tiffin has a thing for the little girls
my guineas Millie and Alice
he is always sniffing their hutch and following me
when i go to put them outside in the run
he follows me back when i take them back to their hutch
today in the garden i bent down to him with the girls on my lap
i let him sniff Millie then I said "ok you've had your sniff move on"
so I put my hand over Millie to protect her as I dont trust Tiffin
thats when it kicked off, he went mad
growling jumping up to attack like rabbits do in the wild
he was biting actually jumping at me to bite me
here's the damage
my left wrist, it stung for a while
but what can you do, at least the girls didnt get hurt
he sat then guarding them as he usually does
i tell him "theyre not yours y'know"
tomorrow I want to do some more sewing
then I have work~
GooD dAy AlL~
Today I woke up just in time to see mummy off
she had an early start - leaving me in charge of all the pets :)
I had them inside due to it being wet outside
the little girls really enjoyed having a run around in the hall :3
Tiffin still played outside tho XD
This morning I finished my lamp
it took a few hours but its done and my brother said he would photograph
it for me so please wait :)
Im happy with it and cant wait to see it lighting up my room tonight!
I had work which i realized was my final week at that school
the staff had had a word with the bad kids from last week
so those kids were better behaved one even said sorry for his behavior last week
so this week different kids decided to misbehave =.=
but it was magnets and all kids enjoy magnets
and i quizzed them at the end to see if they had been listening to me
and it turns out they did listen!! shock!
I came home and rested for a lil while
as I had zumba to go to
but before hand I had a piece of yesterday's chocolate cakey~
it tasted better today!!
Tomorrow I plan to start some patch work with the scraps
i found last week
here's my nails I painted at 10pm last night
suppose to be roses
Good Evening
Dom never even messaged me....
that boy is seriously in my bad books
buying a car from my dad and not telling me how his
first ever journey in a new car and by himself went
my parents asked "did he get home safe? did he get on with car ok?"
what do i say "oh by the way my friend cant be arsed to text me"
right peed me off
seriously now i aint speaking to him til i see him in July
He has time to create art work for Rose and text her none stop
but cant tell me he got home ok
he could have had an accident and be hospitalized for all i know >.>
Anyway today is father's day woopee >.>
well my dad chose to go car boot in the morning for his father's day
how exciting!! my mum and brother went
but i wasnt gonna waste my time, you should see the tat they have at car boots
i like second hand stuff but that stuff is just rubbish, seriously
So I used to time alone very productively ;)
I dances, I danced so much that I was sweating
you know when you've worked hard when you have sweat between your boobs XD
I recorded a video a friend is gonna edit for me
You can see that im sweating on the video!
sweaty Jozu works harder!!
Then I was watching a few tutorials online about Japanese cooking
And then I went to bake a cake for my dad
a chocolate and apple cake, which is very sickly even by my sweet tooth standards!
good huh, i made the shapes with white chocolate then i put them in the freezer
pealed em off the clingfilm and stuck em on the icing ^^
I then went over to my granny's house as I had the lovely job of not only
setting up her Kindle but also showing her how to use it...
I wrote a load of notes down for her previously, hoping they will save me
going over and helping 100 more times
but actually she did pretty well as Kindles are really easy to use
so i hope she gets on with it ok if not i guess i dont mind helping again
came back and did a bit more dancing whilst my family went out
gosh i was tired so i rested
then I started doing my lamp, its coming along nicely and I plan to
go continue it after I have blogged~
Tomorrow I have work at a local school
filled with brats who cant sit on a seat properly
i have noticed that i am struggling to cope with out
my anti-depressiants
sadly
but im not giving in yet
