Christmas Decorations kawaii style~

Evening~~

I didn't sleep great
my head was like a whirl wind and i ached so very much
so I read til I couldnt
keep my eyes open and then I woke up with cold sweats a lot

This morning wasn't too bad
I leisurely had a shower and put some make-up on - careful not to put any on the mole
then went to the acupuncturist for 'Reiki' treatment
guess you gotta believe in all that for it to work
but hey im open to ideas
so I had to lay there without talking or tensing for 40mins 
which is a lil tricky for me
cus im always talking >< and as for tensing im constantly tense especially with all the pain lately
but i managed it and felt a lil sick and light headed afterwards but i was fine
it was probably due to skipping breakfast

i drove to the gym then thought "sod i t the tea here is rubbish i want a good brew after that"
so i pulled up across the road literally at the pub and told adam to meet me there
we had lunch i had pulled pork sandwich
then we went into a town for a lil while looking round the shops
i got some hand cream cus my hands and lips are getting dry from the weather
i have plenty of lip stuff 
i looked round loads of eye shadows but no where had the turmeric colour i wanted i did find one but pigmentation wasnt strong so you couldnt see it on the skin
i picked up some christmas decorations too!! a donut a squirrel and a fox!
i should photograph the ones i ve picked up this year should I

we headed off for home and sat with Oz for a bit
we had the house to our selves for a while so we spent quality time alone
resting on my bed. adam's back is bad and he has a cold
me im just knackered. we're a pair at the moment
but its nice sometimes to just relax
which is something i must do more of cus im not relaxing im always on the go
and its killing me

i took him home after he and mum were scoring points on me >.>
hit a fair bit of traffic annoyingly but i wanted to take him home

tomorrow i have practically begged mum to take me swimming
she said "why can't you go with adam?"
she moans that i dont do anything with her and when i offer she tries to get me to go with adam!
i cant win clearly!
so this morning she said she wanted to do something with me this week so she had something to look forward to, i said "well thats why i said swimming!!"
so I believe we are going swimming in a warm pool tomorrow which also has a jacuzzi
im praying it will all help my pain. 
might see adam depends on how dead i turn out to be.

i took a photo of half the decorations i have made for the garland
i'll upload the other half tomorrow

cute right ;)
all my own templates~ and they're double sided

I did get quite far with the iphone cover but i have decided to do a different design now 
it wasnt boyish enough for my liking~ 

Some people help others don't I guess

Konbanwa~~

I didn't even use my laptop yesterday
I woke up had breakfast, slept, had lunch then did some hand sewing
then went for a walk with my ipod cus it was just what i felt like doing
Adam didnt sound great
his back was playing up and he had a cold and coldsore
I decided to surprise him with Oz to cheer him up~

Since saturday night the mole on my right bottom jaw swelled up
i mean really swelled up to point were it ached and throbbed just to talk and eat
sunday morning came round and it had grown to almost a golf ball 0.0 yikes
what the hell was up with it!?
i thought maybe it was the world's biggest spot but nothing happened when i squeezed it
it just hurt so i wasnt looking forward to my boyfriend seeing it
i had a deformed face!
He wasnt fussed as it goes i knew he wouldnt be but i felt yukky with it

We let Oz play but all he did was lay down next to people so he could get fuss individually from them honestly he's a smart one that rabbit -____-
we took him home and i sorted out stuff at home then went to adam's house
i talked with his parents, had a play fight, did his mum's nails and had dinner
came home showered and bed
not sitting with Oz in the evenings now sadly as he keeps trying to pee on the sofa
and id be killed if he actually pees on it

Today I woke up feeling shattered
I hadnt slept very well i kept waking up
I had to get up for the doctors

the doctors
GP's are there to HELP people
what I got today was anything but helpful
I went in and he asked
"what can I do for you?"
"well i've had an assessment at mental health and they suggested I have my thyroid checked and that I get referred to the pain clinic as im still in pain"
"sorry who wants you referred?"
*sigh* this is gonna be a hard time "the mental health team"
"i'll see if they've written to me"
"well i doubt it as they suggested it to me. Have you got my blood test results? I had them done friday"
"well i doubt it if you had them done only on friday" (here he should have said 'ill just check for you'
"well the nurse seemed very confident the results would be here in time"
"i can have a look....oh yes they are here" arse wipe
"and the results are all normal"
"oh..."
"you seem surprised by this?"
"well yes as i felt my thyroid was out of whack"
"no your thyroid is fine" and that was end of conversation, not 'oh why did you think that? have something been troubling you?' nothing
"so the pain referral what do you do now to help your pain?" look on your screen and it should tell you what medication I take
"i take medication, i exercise and do yoga, i pay out for acupuncture. I dont feel the tablets help much tho"
"how long you been taking them for?
"6+ years now, and I know I am addicted to them as well"
"well i doubt it but they might be able to change your meds or take you off it"
dont tell me what i do or dont feel arse hole!!!!
"i have taken myself off them a few times and the withdrawal symptoms are harsh"
"i'll do that referral for you today"
thank f*** for that!!!! how hard was that!?
i had to really stand my ground at 8:50am to get any help!!
he checked my mole out and said the skin duct was infected i needed to keep it clean and it should go back to normal in a few days. thank god that isnt serious.

my morning consisted of vampire diaries and hand sewing christmas decorations
and i can say that I have finished all 8 ^^ I just need to stitch them to the ribbon then they're done but i'd had enough today of sewing.
I went for a quick walk with mum too in the afternoon
and managed not to go to sleep how i was very tempted to
I filled out this pet sitting thing on line and i also filled out 1 of the 2 forms i have to fill in for something else. I have almost finished it but i need dad's help with it
and id rather slit my own wrists than ask him
but needs must

Nigel the acupuncturist txt me at 4pm saying did I want to have some Reiki seeing as im not keen on the needles. and I know he genuinely wants to help me and not just wanting my money as he has plenty of clients. and its nice knowing someone trying to help and not giving up on me. i was planning on returning to him next week tho for the record. just hate needles. so im going over their at 10:30am for Reiki.

Tomorrow Id like to finish sewing the decorations as then I can put them away :) be good to get them done. Im seeing Nigel, seeing Adam at some point
but I dont really know what I am doing tomorrow
i shall try and think~

I thought I'd show how far id gotten with the iphone cover thing

Started another project

Evening~~

I'm back home~

Last night I set off at 9:50pm to go collect adam's butt from work
I managed to find him straight away behind the shutters when I got there
its like a homing device naturally built in to me XD
I waited about 10mins and he was done :)

We went to his home and we relaxed and just did what we
wanted to really as no one was home 
I went to go put my pajamas on but he cuddled up behind me and told
me he'd like me to wanted me to wear one of his t-shirts and my pants
I wanted to see what I looked like in one his t-shirts so I tried it on
and kept it on til the morning
I felt like a proper girlfriend - wearing my boyfriend's shirt ^^
It took a while for us to go to sleep
and when i did drift off sometime after 1am adam turned over and i about jumped
out of my skin as I had fallen asleep and for a second forgot I wasnt in my own bed ><
I didnt sleep brilliantly as I was aching from yoga and adam's bed isnt comfy 
i find I lose circulation in some limbs and that wakes me

We woke up at 9:30am
got I felt like I had been ran over I really hurt and ached
so i got up straight away for my medication
after a cuddle later i made him a coffee, myself a tea and he ran me a bath
cus my god a bath was heavenly when i was aching so much
it was the best and I didnt want to get out
but id been in there a while XD

I got dressed, adam who didnt shower last night or this morning I told him to
go get his butt in the shower
he did
and we were out the house for 11:30am to go get lunch
i felt so exhausted but it was because id taken all my medication and not eaten
so it was good to eat lunch but i still felt off
i went to his bed to dose for an hour and after an hour he brought me up a tea and a chocolate bar
the guy is perfect at times i swear

we sat on his bed having a brew then we talked for a bit
I said I needed to go home to go see Oz as it was 2:30pm
so thats what I did really
I also got another 2 christmas decorations finished so I only have 3 more to go!

My brother went to a wedding yesterday and really enjoyed himself
he's also got his new BMX in the post and seems pleased with it
its good to see him happy :)

I decided that I wanted to draw adam an iphone case for xmas
but i have been stuck on ideas on what to draw
and last night i had the idea of the 3 starter pokemon
charmander bulbasaur squirtle 
so I drew a rough outline last night
and tonight i just finished the outline, i wanted them to be holding each other up
cus then it will fit the iphone shape better

so this is how far i have gotten with it
i think it has potential 
this is my new project at the moment, along with the christmas garland
i will take photos and upload them

i had a lot of positive comments for my latest dance i uploaded
which is nice to see as i practised it an awful lot! 
ive been learned a few dances lately, some more difficult than others
i havent done any exercise or dancing today tho

tomorrow i am not 100% sure what is happening
i know im staying for dinner at adam's but apart from that i havent got a clue!
be nice to be in my own bed tonight ^^

Made 3/8 of decorations and sleep over!

Evening~~

I woke up a few times in the night but nothing major
and I was able to get off to sleep ok
I woke up at 7:45am
God I did not want to face the day
I got a tea down me but break fast was a no go
felt far to sick to stomach that before my blood test

mum had packed me a cold drink and cereal
we went to the doctors the nurse knew me straight away XD
she must remember the troublesome patients 
to be honest I was pretty good she got what she needed and I stayed conscious 
it was afterwards did it hit me
I couldnt get up cus I felt like I would be sick and faint
mum was putting the cold drink against my face cus I was a 1000c and sweating
took me a good few mins to be able to walk to the corridor to sit down
to which I almost passed out getting there
it took me a while then to be able to walk properly but I was dying to get outside
for some fresh cold air 
the nurse said I hadn't  had a blood test since last April and Im suppose to have them yearly...
yup mum's face certainly said "im having words with you later"
XD i was in for it
We got home and I had my cereal and went for a shower~

Later on me and mum went to a town so we could get a few bits
but jesus i know the people round there are rough but it was relentless 
and mum wanted to go to the super market there i told her "forget it"
i was not prepared to deal with the people anymore
and i was frozen
i wanted to get home
mum said i was right grouchy
i blamed it on having a blood test 8:40am in the morning >.>

I got back and had some lunch
then went to bed for 2 hours
I had a headache i was tired and cold 
I woke up and still had my headache I have done all day but its from nearly passing out as its the same pain behind my eyes and i usually have this when ive passed out or almost passed out

I sat making my christmas decorations i've finished 3 out of the 8 now :D
watched a make-up tutorial or two and designed some nails
I haven't done much else actually

I got a big package in the post today id ordered from china
it had pajamas, a scarf for mum's xmas present, a hamster bag charm, a panda jumper, a cat jumper and some acupuncture ear seeds all for £25! 
I got a refund on a pair of joggers i got this week as they had 2 holes in!! well gutted 

tonight Im picking adam up 
i'm setting off at 9:50pm he says hes done for 10:15pm
god knows what time we'll end up going to bed tho as he takes a while to chill out after work, i'll be wired from driving and i'll only wake up when he comes to bed if i end up going bed before him. but i dont need to rush back in the morning so i cant say im bothered really.
should be a fun sleep over im gonna annoy him as much as i can
last sleep over i went past the stage of being tired and went a bit hyper XD

my nails for this week, kitties~

1/8 Christmas decorations - Robin

Konbanwa~~

Last night I fell asleep pretty quickly
but ended up waking at 11 a bit hungry
then 12:45 hungry again and achy
then 2:30am and I was so hungry I felt sick
so I got up had a big mug of hot chocolate and cereal and painkillers
soon went to bed afterwards
but I was still tired when I woke up at 9am

I did my usual pet duties then I started stitching up the robin
I started last night til 10pm doing the 8 decorations on the garland I want to make
and today I got one finished, the robin :D

I think it came out pretty cute 
all of them are my own templates 
Ive been working on a tree but think I might want to do penguin next
who knows

I managed to get a dance recorded thank god
cus i ether go wrong or i dont get time to record
so i havent uploaded one in a while
I will upload that tomorrow~

Adam came over after work and I made us cheese and bean toasties for lunch
then we sat with Oz who was all over adam
we went then into a town and played pool
we won a game each
I couldnt believe the first game that adam potted the last 5 balls in succession!!!
Then the next game i potted my last ball moved onto the 8 ball
and it wasnt near a pocket so i went to just whack it one which is my usual technique 
and what do you know, it shot into a pocket!!! I could have leapt onto that table and danced :D
we went round charity shops but I cant say I found anything worth buying 

we went to his house it was 3:30pm
I was tired needed to rest for yoga and i ached
his dad was in he'd not gone to work cus of his foot hurting him so he was huffing and puffing in the chair as usual, it annoys me sometimes cus i sit there thinking "i'm in pain and have been for the last 7 years but im not huffing and puffing"
so i went into adams room and started drawing in a pad on his bed
he came up 5mins later to see if i was ok
i told him i needed rest
he cuddled me but i didnt get much rest cus we talked and messed around -____-

I came home for yoga
yoga was good but very hard work it was core work my stomach kills! but its fine
my laptop is still working and to say i missed it i havent actually been on it that much
i have bits to sort out and emails to do but just havent done them
i will tho

tomorrow
ugh tomorrow
i have mixed feelings about tomorrow
at 8:40am i have blood test...
i haven't had a blood test in almost 2 years I have done amazingly well to dodge the needle
but i have to get checked out and so i do not want to wake up tomorrow morning
im gonna be a nightmare, im so not gonna be on my best behaviour i mean hell im getting sick to my stomach just thinking about, i will sweat my arse off and need a shower when i come home
praying i dont faint but if i faint i dont have to be conscious through the affair!
but on the other hand, i am sleeping over at adam's house :D
his parents are away and i said id collect him from work at 10:15pm
so its late for me and i dont like being out the house at that time but if it means i get to sleep over and have a bath in the morning then i'll do it ^^
so that should be fun :D
I will do my diary before i go im sure~
in the day time me and mum are going to a town to pick up some bits

It officially died but today 7th Charger!

Konbanwa

There wasn't a diary entry yesterday due to my laptop
officially dying. I couldnt get any juice outta the cable
so my laptop wouldnt turn on = no internet for me

So yesterday
went food shopping with mum
cut out felt christmas decorations with Oz
cleaned my room and changed my bed
can't remember what else really
i know I fell asleep for 2 hours
that night dad upset me big style
but then he always has vented his aggression out on me
he didnt even know i was in my room at 9:30pm crying my eyes out
nor would he care if he did know
i can't tell you how bad and dark the thought became

So today I got up to go city centre with mum
it was kinda a christmas shop run
so we managed to pick my brother up some stuff, my dad something, i chose a few things (personally i hate knowing what ive got for christmas but it cant always be helped!)
I picked up 2 tops for H&M
First is a pink and black shirt which was reduced to £5 from £12.99
and the second top is a long sleeved stripped jumper reduced from £19.99 to £4
bargins~~
I picked up Mia a couple of gifts also
we had a drink and cake in the city to keep us going
but we came home for 1:15pm and had pumpkin soup for lunch :)
i'd had cheese on toast for my breakfast as I couldnt face cereal
that is not like me

I'd txted adam to say I was home and gave him the option of walking over
which he did
so i was cleaning out the pets whilst he walked over
i hadn't stopped i was quite tired
so i laid on my bed with him
but mum wanted to go out in her car and i was blocking her in
i knew id drop adam off home later anyway so i decided to go his house for the last hour
we didnt do a lot if im honest
but he did give me some one to one time on his bed + a play fight but i gave in cus i was knackered
I came home then

I ran through my dance routines quickly but ran out of energy
ive got Oz in now and thinking of doing some hand stitching of the christmas decorations

tomorrow i get to please myself in the morning
the adam is seeing me after work he says

this is a cream i brought new for £4 reduced from £40
I have a few creams on the go currently so i havent used it yet
but sounds good another korean make~

Dinner at Tara's new place

Evening~

I was awake and up til 1am last night
my head was going mad god it was one thought after enough
relentless
i was crying, alone, in bed
such a loser
i heard my family go to bed and i got up and went down stairs
did some cross stitching to take my mind off my head
then i drank a hot chocolate whilst reading
then came to bed
i woke up a lot
and a stupid number rang me early too >.>
I was up texting adam too bless him
hes always there for me ^^

So my morning went pretty much me laying in til 8:30am
did my pet duties
had breakfast
bed
got up and had lunch 
adam phoned to say he was coming over
i dived in the shower
he came over we sat with Oz
then went to a cafe so he could get lunch i just had tea

then we went round charity shops i picked a really cute snowflake pearly chain for the xmas tree this year i loved it when i saw it and it will be perfect on MY tree and it was just 99p
then the next shop I found fabric!!! total total bargin
the woman said she had only put them out half hour ago! 

got to adams and we talked and cuddled on his bed for a bit then i left for home
got ready for tara's and went
i say that all so simply but the truth of the matter is i was worrying last night about finding tara's new house and also being out til late in case i felt tired and stuff.  i was worrying in the day to both mum and adam and they both told me to go. once again it seemed i was making a big deal out of nothing

i drove to taras a lil scared 
but got there
and she showed me her home which is amazingly better than her old home
seriously she has done well
both her an mia have both lovely homes this year
i hope my home turns out just as good
im so happy for them both
we sat with her boys for a while

then we had dinner which was pasta and garlic bread
it was good and home made too :D
then i went home at 8pm so i could shower (2nd shower still) and have Oz out


tomorrow I wish to clean my bedroom
and pray my new laptop charger comes damn it!!!!
i dont even know how its working!
might try and see adam i feel like spending the day in his arms 
feeling needy haha

thought id show another christmas present
basically mia has been collecting this really random xmas decorations
i personally think theyre gaudy but she likes them
so i found one for her collection for £3.99
that is not cheap but its a present i guess