Back from Tenerife = Massive diary catch up!!

Tadaima!!!

I am back~~~

Home safe and had a great time

Luckily I had the foresight to take a book with me to write my diary in as theres no way I'd remember 7 days worth of life!

So I'm gonna type up each day here and now~~

I was gone from 23rd to 30th October

Ok lets start

hajimaru yo~~

Day 1 

Woke up nervous, very nervous

and adam sent me a txt to say the plane is 90mins delayed...

but we still had to be at the air port normal time...

i honestly believed he was winding me up

he wasnt -_______-

So I got ready

my nails for holiday I did the night before

his mum kindly picked us up and took us she was fine with me too

we had a very long wait at the air port

I was very nervous round security and stuff cus i just didnt know what was coming

but got through fine

Our plane was stuck in Greece due to bad weather so they had flown a spare over from Birmingham but we soon realised that meant a different plane to what was booked

and we had paid extra for leg room

we didnt get it

so I was cramped for 4 hours

jesus I had had enough

wasnt a great first experience

good views and then I slept mainly

but I had awful awful stomach ache on the plane felt like my stomach was twisted

we arrived in Greece our coach dropped us off we were 4th drop off so took around 40mins via coach to the air port and instead of getting to the hotel around 8pm like it said we actually 10:10pm

We had missed dinner so they had given us a packed lunch which was vile and we didnt eat. Cold omelet sandwich isnt great at 10pm

The night's entertainment was incredibly loud, my bed was vibrating 

it was spanish opera singers and by this point i decided I was off out, i had been cramped up for hours now i had inescapable noise so I hit the beach adam followed

that was quite nice but it also opened our eyes to how close we were to the pubs and clubs

literally we could see them from our window and were a 1 minute walk

so that added to an already noises environment...

we went to a 24 hour supermarket which there is loads of over there, for water as we had been advised not to drink out of the taps...nice XD

I came back to the room killed my first cockroach and then showered, the entertainment had finished but was gone midnight so i was glad of it to have stopped.

I couldnt sleep and was watching my ipod til 2am whilst adam slept

Day 2

woke up at 7:45am from a call from the agency despite me telling them i was away..

i was shattered

we got up for breakfast at 9:30am

I had everything to make up for a crap day the day before so I ate cereal, 3 cakes, fruit and a brew. Good start to the day if I dont say so myself XD I decided to eat a lot as we were only have one main meal of ether dinner or lunch and we were choosing dinner so i ate enough for breakfast and lunch but im not used to eating that much so it gave me really bad stomach cramps like my stomach was twisted and couldnt digest food. So I had no choice but to die on the bed for a while. 

we went by the pool, I swam it was effing freezing heated my arse. Adam sun bathed as we had a good day for weather of 25c. Went back to the room for a hot power shower which was nice. We hit the streets and it looked so different in the day light. 

We found a mini golf which I thought would cheer adam up, luckily he chose not to keep score!! jesus what was up with him XD

We sat and had a cold drink there then a game of pool which he took too seriously as usual. We walked across the road to a pizza place and adam ordered pizza i had a brew and a slice of his pizza it was very good actually. 

we came back to the room i fell asleep for half hour as it was very warm and i hadnt slept much the previous night.

Went swimming again but the pool was no warmer so i have a hard job of getting in and actually swimming, adam came in but didnt actually swim. I showered and sat outside.

We went for dinner, our first meal. it was a buffet and bloody fantastic. I had mainly stuffed potatoes and paella both were great then had ice cream with extra sprinkles cus you could get all the food yourself so there was no limitations and you could keep going up!

Adam was in a mardy mood all evening, honestly like paddy mood. Kept asking if he was ok and if i had done anything and when i offered him a hug whilst he sulked on the bed and he ignored me i got up and said "have a nice evening" and i left him. I went outside and phoned me mum and told her i was ok and that adam wasnt coping being away from home like he didnt in france, i was handling everything far better than him! 

I went and drew outside by the light of the lamps whilst there was a DJ on stage who was really crap but old people still got up and danced. It started to rain and thunder and lightning as well by this point but i was undercover. I was drawing from a Shakugan no Shana manga I took with me

Adam found me at 10pm I chose not to speak to him really cus he still had a face on him. Like a child. The night's entertainment was suppose to be parrots doing tricks but was cancelled do to the weather. So we had an early night as there was no noise as even the DJ had to stop his crap!

Didnt sleep tho, that bed was solid like no comfort at all so i kept waking up with numb body parts.

Day 3 

It had been raining during the night so everywhere was wet. Woke up at 8:30am and got ready for breakfast, I had 2 bowls of cereal. Adam was still in a mood and didnt talk to me the whole of breakfast hes soooo childish and i was relieved I didnt go out with him anymore cus sometimes I ask my self "what did i see in him?" so I didnt bother making an effort and talk to him

After breakfast in the room I asked him what the crack was and told him hes being hard work, he said he was out of his comfort zone. I just think hes a sheltered only child and used to having everything done for him and doesnt cope well being away from home. I was fine. I was coping a lot better than I could ever imagined I was totally fine.

We went out and decided to go look for Siam Park (water park) for tomorrow. 

I wasnt far away just a bit of a hike up a hill was all

We found facing Siam Park was Siam Mall 

so we went round the shops there which was good job as it was raining a bit so it was good to keep cover. 

I brought some socks for my brother which were yellow with pink sausages on they were reduced to 99p in H&M, me and adam were both surprised how many man shops and men sections in the shops there were! Over in england woman clothes severely out number mens clothes so it was a bit weird and it actually cheered him up hurray! he brought 2 tops in the sales.

Got Ice cream I had Oreo flavoured which was great

we went into a fast food chain and adam ordered pizza which was once again amazing as once again i robbed a slice

It had stopped raining by this point so we decided to hike on back to the hotel. I laid on the hard bed for a while then got up and went out by myself leaving adam by the pool again.

I went along the beach and found crabs!

 I came back to the hotel and found adam still by the pool so i left my stuff with him and went in the pool. I was once again struggling to get myself into the pool until a Finnish woman with broken English came up to me asked if i was cold and said she'd count me down and i had to go up to my neck in the pool so she counted me down to 3 2 1 and I did it, cus i have too much pride i still made a girly scream tho one I was hoping adam wouldnt hear XD

I swam around and then showered, Laid around til dinner time. I had awful stomach ache after food again think it could be too much food I had paella again. I was dying on the bed and hoping to get out for more walking but just couldnt stomach was too bad. Once again no performers again for whatever reason as it wasnt raining but i was no way complaining.

Adam flushed the toilet and it broke...wouldnt stop flushing basically and said to him "fine i'll go sort it then shall i!" as he made no effort to sort it himself. So i had a quick play with it before I left then I walked the two flights of stairs to reception to report the problem. Walked back up the stairs and adam said "its stopped" so i went back down to say problem fixed whilst adam sat on the bed on his phone. wasnt impressed.

So we had an early night I woke up loads adam was farting in his sleep it was vile and he did this in france too. By the 7th time I got up and opened the balcony door but this let the noise in and i woke up loads i was so damn tired come morning.

Day 4

I got up and straight away left the hotel I needed space from stinky arse and I needed the stretch from being crippled on that damn bed

Came back to the room and motivated smelly arse for breakfast. I had cereal and cake then the rest of adam's waffle he didnt want and i loved it been years since i had waffle.

Got to the room and got swim wear together as we were off to Siam Park. We took a walk up to Siam Park 

We were only queuing for 5-10 mins to get in

we went straight for a locker as i knew theyd disappear quickly cus apparently Siam Park can get up to 10,000 people per day. Said on the website £3 per locker it was actually £8 robbing sods. But at least we had a locker. 

There arent many photos of this day as it was a water park so phones are pointless and even those with those water proof bags for phones ended up leaving them as you cant have them with you on rides anyway. But I had a great time

we started on a sedate ride of a blow up raft which took you slowly round a water trail.

From there we grabbed another blow up raft and queued for 15 mins for a ride that flushed you down a tunnel then you span round and round going down a drain almost i screamed loads it was great.

Then we went on the hardest ride there which was a 25min queue it was incredibly high and could see for miles. It basically sent you zooming down - vertically - through a tube and threw you out into deep water a 25 min wait for 10 seconds if that. it was over so fast and not only that but you went so fast and had so much water in  your face you couldnt even open your eyes! good tho

I was so cold after each ride tho

as the water is cold and you stand waiting for rides in the shade as they are conscious of the sun burning you so i was just frozen to my core. So we headed to the beach where I had a brew to warm me and the sun on my back and i did thaw out we watched the wave machine and i managed to go into the cold water but the waves were so strong and tall i was getting sweapt up so i walked away.

We walked to another inflatable ride which only took 10 mins to queue up it was fast too and i screamed a lot. 

Then we queued for another max difficulty ride called The Dragon it was a 40 min wait so i was quite cold by this point. It was a 4 man raft and you go down a dark tunnel out into a bowl you go sailing up and down the sides it was brilliant. very steep and fast you hold on for dear life. I was cold and drained after this ride and i think the last 3 rides the life guard that met you at the base asked me "are you alright?" must have looked pale and shaken up for 3 people to ask XD

we had ice cream by the beach again which was good. We returned to the first ride we went on and then we noticed we had been on everything bar one ride (needed a 40 min wait and was similar to the dragon) we had been there 5 hours so we walked to the main entrance both still in swim wear, watched the sea lions play then we left. I walked the streets in my swim wear I wasnt arsed.

I crashed on the bed for a while

adam sunbathed whilst I took a walk along the beach, I was in my swim wear still not my bikini whilst i saw woman with their boobs out i felt like a nun XD

I got a little sun burned this day as the water park washes all sun cream from you. and we had 28c heat so year but didnt fully burn or peal. But adam by this point was glowing red like a lobster whereas i was browning XD

came back to the hotel to find adam was rather pink on that sun lounger 

I got us 2 drinks from the bar as I was fed up drinking luke warm water out the bottled in the room. Then I swam for a bit.

Had a long hot shower and then stomach ache before dinner.

Dinner I had noodles, then pudding my god. There was white chocolate fondue and ive never ever experienced fondue before so safe to say i made the most of this bugger, i had brownie, sponge cake and ice cream with white chocolate fondue absolutely fantastic 

sat outside drawing once again by myself outside

entertainers came on which was black people dressed as tribal people and were dancing around then doing tricks but it was getting on my nerves. And when they got fire out i left, the stage is made of bamboo for gods sake 

I went for a short walk by myself

came back to the hotel i was mega hyper and couldnt sleep i annoyed adam a bit but then he mardyed so i let him sleep, it was gone 2am by time i fell asleep and didnt sleep well

Day 5 

Woke up at 9am with a start as adam decided to put his hand on my hip!! idiot! gave me a right start he said he was trying to wake me, honestly just say my name next time. I fell back asleep then he woke me at 9:30am calling my name. I was shattered from not sleeping. I felt hungover I was tired and headachy. Hyperness from the night before makes hangovers XD adam said I was crazy. We went for breakfast I had cereal, cake and apple.

Then showered and went out, the whole holiday i only wore sun screen no make up so getting ready was well easy and i didnt bother with my hair

we walked around the shops in 29c heat my god it was warm. I brought a t-shirt for £3.99

a key chain for for £2

and a bracelet for £3

from different shops we walked in and i found loads of toy shops and they had so many figures!

we stopped for a drink I had an amazing brew

saw this train on the way, I passed it god knows how many times this holiday

Later I had ice cream 

we had 2 flavours each i had white chocolate and Kinder Bueno, effing amazing

went back to the hotel where i fell asleep for 40 mins i was just tired from so much exercise and not sleeping was really taking its toll. 

got up and went for a walk along the beach

then i had a swim in the pool.

Showered and went to dinner. I had duck leg and pasta both of which were stunning i loved it i went without pudding thoas nothing good and couldnt face yet more ice cream

I went downstairs to do drawing outside again

it was a Jack Sparrow guy doing 'magic' he was very poor, adam watched him from the room like he watched the tribal people day before

The guy was throwing knives at his assistant to music from Pirates of the Carribean

came away from hotel for a bit and went for a walk but just noise everywhere just cant escape it. noise from people, pubs, clubs, cars, everynight, relentless

eventually came back and went to bed adam went to sleep quickly as usual and then started farting again so i got up and turned air con on so i was cold but at least i could breathe. It was gone 2:30am by time i did fall asleep

Day 6 

woke up at 7am from the sound of the toilet constantly flushing. Adam had once again broke the toilet but instead of trying to fix it or get it fixed he simply shut the bathroom door. I told him to get up and try run the tap or something he huffed and did it. wasnt fixed. so i tried to sleep through it but it was no good too loud. He made no effort to get it sorted so i got up and fixed it. I ended up having a massive go at him telling him how lazy he was how he needs to man up and stop letting everyone else do everything for him. I didnt give a crap i didnt go out with this guy anymore but my heart was pounding whilst i was telling him off. all he could defend himself with was "i ran the tap" wow woohoo go you. 

He took himself for a paddy walk whilst i did yoga in the room 

i was waiting for him to return so we could to breakfast, i had my music playing out my ipod and i heard 2 quite knocks and i thought it was for next door, turns out it was adam his key wasnt letting him in (for like the 4th time) but instead of knocking harder or shouting me or even texting me he walked off and went to breakfast by himself. Sending me a txt "im at breakfast" thanks. really thanks. so i got up and went down i was not impressed with his childish attitude i deal with better 5 year tolds than him. We ate in silence. hes so pathetic. He hadnt even waited for me ether had been up and got food and was eating before i even got in the room!!!!! 

I got back to the room and asked him what he was doing today

he said he was checking out the halloween event on at Siam Mall which I was planning on doing also. I said if he was willing to get past this childish tantrum then we could go together. we ended up going together but took him over an hour to chill out.

there wasnt that much halloween stuff happening at Siam mall it was disappointing if im honest

there was a ghost train

I brought a hat for £6 for my sun burned head

dont like hats tho XD

it was nice seeing little kids dressed up tho

we had 2 brews there and I had some french stick with tomato and parma ham on it,

 after i took photos of other bits and pieces there

found this police car, an actual police car

we came back to the hotel for 1pm but i didnt stop I went straight back out i needed space and i wanted to explore i cant sit still XD

So I walked to the next town, i walked round shops and had some amazing bottled water. It was 26c and we had been forecast rain but we had intense heat so i needed the water. 

I stopped for Kinder Bueno ice cream where she poured white chocolate over it and i heard it crack once it hit the ice cream!!!

fantastic ice cream i have to say

i hooked up to the wifi at the ice cream cafe and rang mum i ranted to her about adam and told her about my day. She said she was very proud of me and how well i had done. I said i was fine walking by myself and speaking small Spanish ordering things and i didnt have google maps ether i was just fine. I took many photos on my travels in the next town

By 4pm I came back to the hotel

went for my usual walk along the beach i had done every day but adam came with me, he didnt do much as usual or stray far. 

I didnt swim as it had cooled down a lot and was later than usual so sun had gone off the pool. I rested on the bed then showered. 

Had dinner which was paella, noodles then yet more ice cream

came back to the room and my brother video called me which was a good 40mins then i messed around on the balcony adam watched me copy the  moves the old people were doing on the dance floor i was in a hyper mood so i didnt care what a fool i was making of myself adam was laughing his head off at my humour. 

came outside for a needed drink and i sat and watched the performance with adam as it was dancers and i like watching dancers the were good. Took me a long time to finally sleep but i actually slept really well for a change!

Day 7

I woke up to the sound of adam playing a video on his phone he apologised. I drifted back off to sleep then he woke me at 9:45am for breakfast. I had beans on toast and cereal. Came to the room and laid out on my bed. Adam went out so I showered then went out myself. I walked in the opposite direction to the day before. 

I found a mall, 

I walked into the toilets there and I was that focused on the fact you had to pay 20 cents to use it and what that coin looked like and if i had that coin that i didnt realise that I had walked into the mens toilets...yup thats me. But there werent any urinals just toilets so I didnt notice i was in the mens toilets at first, then a man walked into them, looked at me and looked confused he walked straight back out the toilets XD i had confused him it seemed. I walked out the toilets and confirmed to myself that i was indeed in the wrong toilets XD what am I like

After that I stopped at a cafe for an earl grey tea 

which was very nice, adam text to say he was back at the hotel but i had no intention of turning round yet. I walked round some shops and picked up a crappy fake pokemon colour book for £2 i picked it up as it had stickers in that i thought id draw from as i was getting bored of the manga

then I went to a supermarket and I brought a huge apple for 65cents, I found these in the supermarket and i LOVE pumpkins and i was loving the fact they had stickers on as faces!

 a Santaro hair tie for £3 and minnie mouse hair clips for £3

I walked to a bench and sat and ate my massive apple it was so juicy and amazing  i loved it

i continued walking and walking and found a harbour and a water sports place, i stopped at a pub for a pint of freshly squeezed orange as i needed a drink and a wee the drink was really refreshing

i thought i was a little lost but soon found my way again and slowly made my way back to the hotel i think i was gone around 4 hours. 4 hours of me and my ipod just exploring

a man did offer me a go on his moped tho XD

Came back to the hotel adam had just popped out for a drink.

I fell asleep for half hour then adam came up behind me on the bed and cuddled me then we got up and went for ice cream at the place that pours on chocolate i had oreo flavour it was amazing as usual

came back to the hotel the sun hadnt been out much today it was cloudy and 24c but felt cooler and i was a lil chilly so i didnt bother with the pool i couldnt face getting cold. I came back in the room and had a hot bath which i enjoyed in the peace and quiet as adam was sun bathing.

Then we went for dinner I had chicken and pasta and then i got both me and adam a good helping of ice cream as it was last night. 

I sat drawing and drew Entei

After I went to lay on the bed and then went super market with adam he wanted beer.

He sat drinking them whilst i went for a walk along the beach, a crab had been washed up and i kicked sand at it and lifted it''s claws at me like "bring it" so i brought it and kicked more sand at it, it pegged it into the sea and at that point i stopped walking in the water cus i thought i dont know what im walking in here i didnt want to a find a crab on the other end of my big toe like in cartoons.

I came back to the hotel to find the parrot show we missed the other night was on!

 it was good to watch them do their tricks of riding on scooters and lifting up objects the guy even got a parrot to count and add up! amazing but me and adam kept left at the parrot as every time it finished a trick it went straight to the table to knaw the edge off and you could see how worn the table was from that.

went to bed eventually and slept pretty well.

Day 8

Woke up around 8am we went to breakfast but there was nothing amazing so i just had cereal and fruit and robbed a banana for my flight. We went to the room and got ready to walk along the beach which was nice and then I came back and showered. We packed our stuff. Then we walked to the place I went to a couple of days ago, I walked to the other end of the street there revealing a Hard Rock Cafe

Then whilst I was that end I went to the super market that sold the amazing bottled water I brought one and drank it there and then and brought another for airport. I also brought some Cheetos!!!

Crisps as a family we would always eat whilst we were on holiday in spain

I cant wait to try them! see if they taste the same! I brought grapes too for airport

We went back to the room so i could change into my joggers for travelling even tho it was a hot day -____- and then we walked to an ice cream place I had kinder egg then we decided we both wanted another one so I got brownie flavour. 

We waited at the air port for the coach which was only a few mins late but I could adam had ants in his pants and was anxious to go i was trying not to let him bother or stress me

luckily we were last pick up so we went straight to the airport

and it was quicker this time as we didnt have that extra 90 mins to wait but still a bit of waiting involved. Plane flight was a ball ache and once again didnt get the leg room we paid for so i was dying. I slept as much as i could tho whilst listening to music.

My parents kindly picked us up

dropped adam off at home i didnt hug him bye or anything just let him get on with it

I came back and got Ozwald out he gave me licks

mum had baked so I shared some cake with him and had a brew then a hot shower as it was only 5c and a bit of a shock to the system

my own bed was heaven

So that was my holiday essentially

i enjoyed it, went fast

i was much more confident than i anticipated

i would go abroad again

who to go with is another matter as everyone is coupled up and i wouldnt go away with adam again no way

i dont know where id go

not tenerife but im glad ive been to a canary island

i enjoyed it i really did

dont want to know how much weight i must have gained tho as i ate a stupid amount

good tho youre on holiday right ;)

so grateful everything went ok and nothing bad happened 

truly grateful

glad ive done it too  

Tenerife tomorrow!!

Evening~~

I woke up at 7am but didnt get up til 8:15am
once again i hadnt got off to sleep til almost 1am
just couldnt get off really
so i was tired

i did a bit of just dance 3 this morning but not for long
went in the shower and when i came out my brother took
me to the council building to get my ID badge
got there and they couldnt find it -_____-
yeah course they couldnt
and said the guy who authorises them is in a meet him
course he is
so i came away empty handed
i was fuming 
especially as it meant another trip to there and id wasted my brother's time also

got home and went straight out again to take my qualifications to school
the school was dead..
luckily the receptionist was there and said the school has 2 weeks off for half term
instead of 1 and they have 5 weeks off in summer instead of 6
strange but ok
i showed her my qualifications and asked her how secure the job is as its been worrying me she said "oh no were having you now, 2 weeks time youll be here. why cant you believe it?"
i said "no i cant and ive been worrying about it"
so i felt tonnes better for asking about that
and i was lucky with my timing as the receptionist is only there today and tomorrow then off!

i came home and started on packing
a task i could not be arsed to do!
its so dull but didnt take that long actually
the phone rang it was the council to say they have my card...
figures
i rang mum to ask if she'd go with me as its on my mind and i want to get it done
done and never return kinda thing!
but my brother kindly took me ^^
i got there and got it
done dusted
the mix up was this
i have my surname but i like children to call me by my mother''s maiden name
as i despise my surname with a passion and cringe when people call it me
just do and always have hated it
relates me to that side of the family
so i told the school id like the kids to know me as my mother's maiden name
they said it was fine
what i didnt know was that was the name theyd applied for my council card in
so no wonder they couldnt find me
no one told me!
not bothered ether way
my brother thinks im weird using another name but i guess hes got to like his surname hes stuck with it for life whereas i have the chance to marry someone with a tasteful surname XD

i came back and me and mum had a brew then popped out to pets at home
came home and i went on my laptop 
then i went to running club
we did 3.6 miles probably my furthest yet
and i was at the front too
i really did well
it felt good too, running hard, getting the day out my system, the mood was clear and almost full.
yup enjoyed it and could feel id worked
came home and microwaved my food it was nice not to have to make something when i came in thats beauty of mum not coming out for her walk
i feel sorry for her tho with her bad foot
since coming off holiday her foot has hurt her so shes missed out on loads of walking
missing out on her social life too
she says shes gonna miss me

cus yes tomorrow i go!
god im nervous and excited
i asked adam what time his mum is picking me up and he says
"my dad says 11:15am"
seriously...once again his dad is involved
our plane leaves at 2:25pm planes are never on time ether
we have to be there between an hour and a half and 2 hours before take off
its a 20min journey
so we would be stupidly early 
i think 2 hours before flight is early enough!
his dad likes to be stupidly early to everything
so i told adam balls to his dad and we do this how we want to 
besides its his mum who is taking us and it has nothing to do with his dad
also my mum will be home at 11:30am and i would like to see her before i go
so i told him 12 is fine
and he says him and his mum are fine with 12
so yeah i have til 12 tomorrow
wont be home til late on tuesday ether
enough time for a shower, Oz and bed well hopefully Oz anyway
speaking of which my cuts are very bruised!!!!
but hes fine and i will miss him T^T
i will miss mum and my brother too

few mile stones will happen
first time on a plane for 16 years
first time abroad with out parents
first time having this long away from home
i have a lot to be nervous about!
i hope everything goes ok i really really do
adam seems nervous but hes ok with me which is the main thing

tomorrow morning i might go on just dance to burn some steam off before i have to be sat on my arse all day
so dont expect me back til 30th 
i will blog on halloween!
see ya

One Rabbit can do all that!?

Evening~

I could not sleep last night
to say my pain had been good all day it suddenly changed in bed
just landed on me like a tonne of bricks
i felt like death i hurt so very much and didnt know what to do with myself
was close to 1am by time i slept
Id watched another episode of Killing Eve its good ^^

This morning I woke up at 8am
i got up at 8:10am 
wanted more sleep but it wasnt to be
once i wake up its rare i get off again
so i had a pajama morning XD

I cleaned my room in my pajamas so its all nice a fresh for when i come home
i sneezed so much but it wasnt that dusty
then i did get dressed because my parents went out so i decided to play just dance
i was on it a while enjoying myself
tried new songs and some are hard but i just enjoyed it ^^
then I went for a walk which was a little over an hour long
it was such a lovely day and exercise has been helping me tune off to life
i always walk with my ipod on

came back had lunch
then i went on my laptop for a bit
i went out to Oz as there was a helicopter circling round the neighbourhood and he looked a lil spooked by the noise of it all. So i bent down talked to him, stroked him then picked him up
at that point a neighbour started up their lawn mower and i think that combine with the helicopter was Oz's breaking point.
He    went    mad
honestly he went mental in my hands i was trying to hold on to him best i could as we were on wooden flooring outside i didnt want to drop him from standing height cus i didnt want him to break a bone or hurt himself
all you could see was fur flying everywhere 
i could feel him scratching me but i didnt care
i managed to semi bend over and lost my grip on him
but at least it wasnt from full height
and hopped right off into the shed so he was ok
me on the other hand....
left arm

right arm

left thigh (i have more closer to my private areas so didnt photograph them) it went through clothing can you believe that!?

i have 3 scratches on my left boob and 3 scratches on my right boob
all this 2 days before im set to wear a bikini.....
my luck huh
mum says it looks like ive tried to commit suicide
they didnt hurt really cus im cool with pain and theres worse pain
its more the bruising that hurts now if anything
im gonna look a state in a bikini now
my skin is so pale so red stands out
all well
main thing is that Oz is ok, i wasnt bothered what happened to me

i did a bit of doodling 
then had a brew in the silence~
i did a bit of dancing
went to have a shower and remembered to bleach my eye brows so i have blond eye brows now as i despise my dark brown ones!
cuts didnt sting in the shower luckily

had dinner then sorted out my clothes to take away with me
as i feel that could be the most time consuming thing to pack
so i got that out the way
feels weird not taking any warm clothing
usually im packing warm stuff!

id put 2lbs on today
which sent my anorexic thoughts into over drive
but i have eaten well today
so tomorrow if i weigh myself i will probably be 4lbs more
despite all the exercise i do

tomorrow
tomorrow i have a busier day lined up as i want to be occupied so i dont go mental
im hitching a ride to the city centre off my brother cus i need to pop into the council house for a minute to collect my council card then he's bringing me home
im then taking that and my qualifications to my new school as thats on my mind
then im coming home to pack
in the evening im going running club
gotta tire myself out somehow cus i'll be sat on my arse all day tuesday

2 sleeps to go 0.0

Nottingham Comic Con 2018 + PB

Evening

I woke up at 7am
got up to start my day and get off to park run
did 20 mins of yoga before i set off
and had a massive bowl of cereal and banana man i was full XD

I arrived and saw mums friends
told them i had a hair cut at 10:30am so i wasnt hanging around
the morning wasnt too cold actually so i was ok
and my muscles didnt feel like dead weights
i got off to a good start and it all felt pretty easy
i did push the last little hurdle as i was determined to beat this
couple with a bloody dog and they ran side by side
each with their own proper sports tshirts saying
"Mrs P" and the other "Mr P"
physically made me sick the level of sadness we had there
not only that but they were a nightmare to get by
fancy running side by side and with a sodding dog
theyd annoyed for practically the whole run
but did get ahead of me so i pushed myself to over take them at the end
too right i went by those sados XD
anyway ended up despite it not feeling that particularly quick
in 26:19!!!! can you believe that!? taken like a whole minute off there
not only am i in the 26min boundary im well into it and close to 25mins!
i was honestly shocked 

anyway came in
showered and went straight back out
for my hair cut which took longer than usual as she was running late
came home and choked a tea down me mum made me whilst
i got dressed and put light make up on
then i was back out for eye lash tints at 11:45am
that went fine but it stung my eyes my eyes were a lil blurry afterwards
and i had to drive XD
from there i headed to the city centre 

I walked straight to the convention
seeing people dressed up which always makes me smile
it was the same small lay out it is year after year
as i walked round i saw a face i knew i knew but couldnt get it
so i walked to the next aisle and then i got it
"3D and Graphic Design" course i did back in 2008-2010
so I went up to him
"i know you"
he said "i know you"
we both said the course
strange after all this time we recognised one another 
i honestly dont think we said more than hello when at college
i didnt like my college class and didnt talk to anyone
think i had 4 friends in a class of 30
so we chatted and stuff and talked about whats happened since college
of course i never ever mention my health
im just as normal as i can be to others
why dwell on a boring subject of one's health?
i brought a t-shirt from him for £5 which had a design on it he did
and £5 for a tshirt is good value

i walked round taking note of art
some peoples were stunning
some peoples were rubbish honestly i could do better
some people had made stuff i could do better
im not bigging myself up but some people werent great
i brought a key chain from someone which is cool
i one a beer mat from a guy challenging me to put it half over the edge of the table, whack my finger tips down on it, causing it to flip in the air, then catch it mid air
course i managed it
good reactions~~
so he let me keep it XD

i walked downstairs and realised there was a photo booth
and i have wanted to have a go before
and seeing as id had my hair and eye lashes done and i was in an outfit
i thought 'screw it why not''
besides i wont always have this 26 year old body might as well have a nice photo with it
so i asked if i could borrow the guys sword for the shot
and he was cool with that
he positioned me and took the photo then showed me the photo with 10 backgrounds
i had to choose
so thats what we ended up with it

i quite like it :D
lovely keep sake for £10 its about 6x8" 
heres the tshirt

the key chain

and my free beer mat

i left there and went to get lunch as it was 2pm now
i had beans on toast in a nice little cafe i went in last time i went town

i went to a few shops
brought a chrono crusade manga for £2 i already have it
but ive been collecting manga i could rip up as i think one day
id like to decorate a whole bedroom wall with manga pages :D
so  i pick up cheap manga where i can

i went to blue banana
even tho i went the other week to their sale i thought id check to see if they had added anything else to the sale and luck would have it they did
got a hoodie reduced from £38 to £10 just for slobbing in

and i got a really cool long checked shirt again reduced from £38 to £10
amazing quality that place sells

went round a few more shops then came home
id had enough
id been on my feet all day

got home around 3pm
sorted out todays stuff, went on my laptop
not done much else apart from that really
i did think about dancing but i am tired now
although the run didnt tire me out
dont know how that works as sometimes im shattered from running

tomorrow i am dusting my room
as ive changed my bed and hoovered yesterday
just got to dust
then i'll have a nice clean room to come home to
might do a bit of sorting out for packing on monday
i'll have more time to pack tomorrow than monday i think
got a few things lined up on monday to keep myself distracted 
adam asked if we could meet up before the holiday
but i dont want to 
ive already got a week with the guy i dont need to extent that
besides it will no doubt be me entertaining
cant be bothered with that crap

at the hair dressers today i said "im off on holiday on tuesday"
she said "oh with the man of your dreams?"
i cringed at that cus ive never referred to him as that 
i said "im going with him but we're not together anymore"
she said "im sorry to hear that"
i said "dont be its fine im the one who ended it"
she said "was it not working?"
i said "yeah i didnt love him anymore and it wasnt going anywhere"
have to be careful what i say as she cuts adam's mum's hair 
she asked if i was ok with adam's mum
i said "far as i know shes fine with me but i havent seen his parents since"
adam says hes missed having me around
and asked if i missed him
i told him no
its the truth
i havent

anyway we shall pass tomorrow
the days are getting less until i go away!
i dont feel too bad about it all today my stomach has still been off tho
just dont want to eat but i have been eating 
gonna do some japanese tonight then watch Killing Eve

All ticked off just need to pack

Evening~~

I woke up at 6:45am which is what time dad got up
I got up around 7:30am to do my teeth and have a wee then I went to bed
screw it
i hadnt had a lay in for god knows how long
and eventually i drifted off and woke up at 8:50am
made a real change for me to miss those 2 extra hours 
i got up and did some dancing
i suck at dancing i really do but i got sweaty and enjoyed it

I felt a smidge better about life today
my stomach wasnt quite so in a knot and i felt better about going away 
and about my new job

i sat and made 2 more christmas cards, for both Karens really
not as good as yesterdays batch but i think its cus yesterdays batch
were more my taste
still i got the job done

i had lunch and then i went out with mum
i drove us to a woods 25mins away
last 2 times we've been we've had ice cream
but we got there to find it closed
i was kinda relieved in a way as i knew that would kill my stomach
cold ice cream...yeah not a good idea but i know i would have eaten it XD

we came home after our walk which was nice
as theyre was a halloween walk in the forest so i kept seeing decorations
had a brew at home with mum
then i went upstairs to sort a few things out on my laptop
had an email from the school, asking if i could bring in my qualification certificates 
and that my council card was ready to collect 
i had typically taken my qualifications when i went in the other day but as she didnt ask to see them i didnt show them and didnt think much of it, she had obviously forgotten to ask to see them
i will collect my council card monday
but instantly my anxiety worsen again
i worried that my qualifications wont be good enough
even tho i listed to them what i have
i just keep thinking its all too easy and good to be true and that its gonna cave in
i will lose the job
honestly that is all my brain keeps telling me
and its making my stomach in knots
why cant i be happy and have a bit of confidence that it will be ok?
i did feel a little bit of confidence in it this morning
but i feel its vanished now

i sorted out travel insurance 
i sorted out my Siam Park tickets
i also decided to buy a ticket for a comic con at a university in nottingham tomorrow
been to it before its rubbish but i  like looking round art and it gives me something to do
just tickets arent cheap for what it is
but still, but sorting those 3 things out has twisted my stomach up
i have eaten today but its not sitting well
i feel like bringing it up to see if id feel better for it
the good thing is the only thing i need to do for this holiday is pack
yup done everything now i do believe
i kinda just want to get it done with now
the build up is killing me
i havent been talking to adam much just cus i havent got anything to say to him
nor does he have any conversation 
he did nothing before he had me and now he does nothing without me

i made dinner
well mum made meatballs
i cooked everything 
trying to distract myself
i did some dancing on the wii as well
apparently the hotel we're staying at sometimes puts on dance classes 
id be sure to give them a go! 

right tomorrow
given myself a busy day
i get up for park run by myself as mum isnt going
i come home and shower 
then i go straight back out no messing for a hair cut at 10:30am
i come home then i go back out again to have my eye lashes tinted at 11:45am
(getting them done so i dont have to wear make up abroad what with living in the swimming pool and stuff, just makes you look like you have mascara on all the time)
then i go straight to the city centre for this comic con
i will be tired but im up for it
keeps my distracted and busy
cus really i wouldnt be doing much else anyway
have no mates XD

wonder what my stomach and anxiety will be like tomorrow
sometimes i just feel like crying i feel that overwhelmed by life as of late
i dont think i will feel 100% better until i actually start that job
i will photograph those xmas card i made as well

Tea & Coffee Guinea Pig

Evening~~

I woke up at 7am but didnt get up til 7:20am as i drifted off
all this week I have had bad anxiety in the morning about the phone ringing
literally cant cope with it
so today ive rang up and said that i cant do tomorrow
cus no point i wont go school anyway so why stress myself out
i think maybe its because ive got a lot on my mind
it makes my mentalness worse 

i did some dancing this morning
then had a shower and then went for a walk
it was such a nice day i wanted to get out into it

i came back and started drawing little designs for christmas cards
yes i know christmas
i HATE christmas with a passion
but cus of the way ive been this week with my mentalness
its made me have creative block
so ive been trying to think of a small creative task i could sit and do
and cards came to mind
so ive been doing those today
got 5 finished dont think i will need many more 
dont have many friends and i dont tend to do my family one
usually i take a christmasy photo of my guineas and give that to mum as a card

mum asked if i had weighed myself recently
i told her i had and that id lost weight
she wasnt happy
but i said i wanted to lose some but also my stomach is literally in knots
food isnt sitting right and i dont want to eat cus it gives me stomach cramps
i said once holiday and work as settled down im sure i will be fine again
ive just got a lot going off
she wasnt impressed

we went for a short walk which was the same one as yesterday
and went into the same cafe as yesterday
we got to try the hot chocolate
i had toffee apple mum had white
they were both good cus we tried each others
but mine did give me a gross after taste

mum came home made biscuits i ate one but instantly
had anorexic thoughts afterwards making the biscuit not worth eating
all the while whilst eating i was being told in my head not to eat it
its quite draining as of late if im honest
im so tired with it all
i finished my cards 

here is that guinea pig picture i did its 5x7"

the background is tea and the guinea pig is painted using coffee
then outlined in a fine liner 
i quite like it, its growing on me more and more
just need a nice frame for it
i will keep an eye for one

tonight i have yoga
not been for a few weeks 
should be good as long as karen doesnt work us to death

didnt see tara last night
she didnt finish work til late so it wasnt worth going over
it does mean now i wont see her til like november 
annoyingly
but she did txt me a bit last night
she told me she wants me there when shes choosing her wedding dress!
i was shocked she wanted MY opinion on such matters
but she said im like her best friend and she wants me there
shes on about maybe getting married abroad 0.0
never known anyone to do that
then she said and have a due at home for everyone
ether way i wish to support her and james ^^

tomorrow not sure as of yet
i think me and mum are going out for a walk and maybe ice cream
depending if i can stomach it
then may see mia

Branch nails

Evening

I had a good time at Mia's last night
we just sat and talked really so it was nothing special
but did me good to see her
she has a tiny window by her back door and i always pull a face in whilst
waiting for her to come to the door
this time i could hear she was behind the door sorting pots in the kitchen
i crept to the window and popped my eyes out with a funny face
she turned round and it didnt half scare her XD
she was laughing and her heart was pounding
she says shes gonna get a blind for that window XD
i love getting up to mischief
i left at 9:15pm
id had enough it was cold in her house and my stomach hurt
my stomach has been in knots for past few days
just like anxious stomach really so i dont want food and food isnt sitting right 
one ive eaten it
i weighed myself this morning and id lost more weight
bringing the total to 2.4kg
im surprised to be honest as i havent been going out my way to lose weight
its just kinda dropping
im keeping an eye on it
i did say a few weeks ago that my weight kept going up so id like to lose weight
and be at 8stone 10pounds
this morning i weighed myself and im 8 stone 11 pounds
so i suppose im almost where i want to be
its just if it keeps dropping after that
doesnt help having my stomach in knots

this morning the phone didnt ring thank god
as i dont feel i could have coped, mentally, with going to another school and working
just felt not myself at all
mum said yesterday all day it was like i was there in body but not in mind
and i think ive been like it today as well

i did get up and dance and got sweaty
worked mainly on Uza
loving that dance, im crap at it like, but i do enjoy it
did some yoga before i danced too
my collar bone muscle is getting better but still giving me jip 
had a shower then went on my laptop
printed a few bits out to do with my holiday

didnt want lunch at all but ate it
felt bad after eating it mentally and physically
went for a short walk with mum and we had a brew in a cafe we've been to before
but we noticed after we'd ordered that they have 'toffee apple' hot chocolate
on the menu so we want to go back and try it!!!!!! well i do mum doesnt XD
we walked back and came home

i did some japanese
cus i havent done any for 2 days
i wrote out a list of stuff to take on holiday with me
then went on just dance 3 for 20mins i did really well

suppose to be going tara's tonight but if she leaves it much later
it wont be worth me going round soon!
means i could maybe eat dinner before i go instead of microwaving it
but she lives 20mins away 
we shall see
id like to see her and i guess im not doing much else

i finished the tea and coffee guinea pig today 
i will be sure to photograph it
it looks alright actually i think i will frame it and give it mum
for christmas to put up in the kitchen maybe 

tomorrow ive got yoga and maybe going out for the hot choc
havent been yoga in a couple of weeks
ive been doing home practice but it doesnt compare to the torture karen puts you through

my nails this week