Evening

took me til 11:30pm to actually sleep my stomach was in knots but i was trying to tune off to everything my head was going off about
i slept til 6:30am, and i had woken in the same position i had fallen asleep in...
very strange for me! i move loads in sleep i know i do
i wanted to go back to sleep but no such luck, needed pain killers
so i got up at 6:45am...on a sunday T^T

so i had a quiet morning til 8am when i knew my parents were up
i made mum a cup of tea, brought her her mother's day card and the guinea pigs all in bed
i couldnt make much of a fuss with her given the virus situation everywhere is shut
but a brew, card and pigs in bed was appreciated ^^

i then went on my laptop for a bit then crawled back into bed
i was cold and tired and didnt really have anything much to do
i got up at 11 and went for a shower
then i went for a walk, had lunch did 40mins of yoga
finished my shana picture

mum says its really good
but yeah i think its alright i guess
might do another manga picture, maybe inu x boku
trying to pick mangas me and jack both know
so i had a flick through the entire series on my shelf for a page to use from inu x boku
and i think i found one, its just not as dynamic as the shana one
i might have a stab at it

sat and played disgaea5 then looked online at what games id like to play next for the switch
not a lot shouted out to me which is why i didnt buy a switch in the first place - a lack of games i would like to play. but i think tales of vespaire or something seemed kinda ok
i was thinking fire emblem but i cant be bothered with it.

gonna do my nails tonight but will just do a normal manicure i think
not in the mood to do nice nails
i dont know why but things dont feel well in Jo's world
maybe its the uncertainty of it all and the fact i have been stripped of all my routine 
i just havent felt happy really
i know theres people out there worse i get that, i mean mentally i havent felt happy
im sure i will snap out of it

i got a txt this morning from school stating there was no meeting anymore in the morning
jack says he isnt going into school tomorrow i could not believe it, he actually isnt going in! strange world we are in right now! i felt sure he was going in even if it was just for an hour!
so i have no clue what is happening now tomorrow as i was gonna pick him up at lunch time and go to his but thats no happening now but i guess i can still see him tho

almost finished shana picture

Konbanwa~~~

I went over to jack's last night
we sat with theo for a bit
I told jack i didnt want to talk about work or corona for the rest of the night
he was fine with that
we ate chocolate in bed and played switchs
i could not sleep tho
still had a lot on my mind, i was aching, i was hot, i was cold
so I got up went for a wee and took my pyjama bottoms off and crawled back into bed
but i feel i woke up every hour
so i was exhausted this morning
then i had jack perving on me cus i was in a top and pants XD

this morning we were up pretty early
we had breakfast and a brew and i had a bath
then we were gonna go out for a walk
and theo asked if he could join
hes working from home and the gyms are shut i think he feels a bit lost as his everyday routine of work and gym have been taken from him so i said of course he can join us
to say we walked in the park near the city centre it was empty
we saw from a distance the city centre streets - empty
quite weird i have to say

we got back  at 11:30am and i went to bed, id had enough 
jack and theo just played on their switchs
i woke up and we had lunch
then i sat and worked on my shana picture
i got a lot done at jack's and he said how good it was but im not quite so sure yet
i went home at 4:30pm
i could have stayed the night but he wanted to play this online space game with theo and harvey and i couldnt be bothered with dealing with hearing that XD

i got back and worked on my picture a bit more
its almost done i just have a bit more to do and its done
its helped me keep my sanity this weekend anyway

jack has talked to me a bit about work
like whats happening
basically monday 8:30 there is a school meeting and 9am department meetings
both of which i cant attend as im still not allowed back in school T^T
so jack said he'd fill me in
but he thinks from sounds of it that us as technicians will work from home but very little is expected of us as our work is hard to do from home,no home contains a lab! so yeah he said i will be doing mainly art - ideas of which, chris has things he wants drawing for IT and jack said the science student booklets would benefit from proper diagrams not ones from google images. so i think thats my jobs, jack said hes got stuff online to do and will show me how to access my work stuff from home on monday. thats as much as i know really

tomorrow no plans as of yet
i will finish shana, and maybe do some dancing
i have ordered a new camera battery as my camera doesnt hold charge anymore, i was struggling to record dances as it literally would record for 5mins then shut off so i only got 1 attempt at a dance if i screwed up id have to charge it up again. another reason why i havent been able to record but hopefully with free time and a new battery i can record again~

thats all for now~

Pokemon cushion

Evening

Bit earlier tonight as Im off to jack's in a bit

Could not sleep again....again up til 2am!!
so frustrating 
I couldnt switch off my brain just thinking about stuff that doesnt matter at midnight
then i scratch
i scratch when im stressed and or anxious
its a horrible habit one i do even in my sleep!
so i starting scratching and as weird as it sounds i can just keep scratching despite the pain cus its a different pain to my everyday fibromylgia pain i like to feel a different pain and tune into that instead my 'normal' pain. I suppose a bit like self harmers 
so i ended up getting up before i bled in my pyjamas 
i played disgaea and ate a couple of biscuits then went to bed at 2am

today i got up and walked to the corner shop with mum
it was empty no milk no bread no nothing really
so we walked home with nothing

we got back and i trimmed truffs's fur 
she wasnt very good at being still so its not the best job i have done on her
then we bathed them later on cus they were minging
i mean truffs was bloody grey she was that gross
truffs had her freedom fight in the bath and her claws are sharp so she literally cut my wrists open
it didnt hurt really but i dont know why shes being so feisty today
so now theyre like fluffy toys

i danced for 20mins which i enjoyed
then i showered
i did some more of manga picture
just water coloured it so it has the base colour now
now i have 1000s of dots to do....
im hoping it works
its an idea i had in my head so a bit of an experiment really

i had lunch and went to bed
i was shattered
woke up and made some biscuits woooo

ive been sitting with oz as well today
did a bit of online shopping too, just house stuff for next year cus i have the time to actually browse the world of ebay
i might take pictures of all my goodies when they arrive.

tonight i am staying at jacks
i know that doesnt classify as self isolating but i think id know if jack was sick what with him having asthma so i think i am safe and i miss him and he sounds like hes had a week of it so i wanna make him happy^^ im taking my sketch book to work in as i dont think we will be going out much really. and theres only so much i can play on my switch!

thats it really 

oh i got this in the post, its a new cushion cover about 40cm and i won it for £3!! its so cute
its for my house next year

day 1 of lock down XD

Evening~~

Did not sleep well
i mean i know i slept a fair bit during the day but i couldnt switch off
i had a million things going through my head
so at 12:30am i got up and played on disgaea for a bit
then i had a hot chocolate whilst watching calming live jpop songs
ahhhh Kalafina is good for the lonely soul in the early hours of the morning~

I didnt even sleep that well when i went to bed at 2am!
woke up loads -_______-
i woke up at 7am and crawled into mums bed as dad was already up as usual
it was nice crawling into bed with her
but i can never stay long as i ache
jack knows this XD hence why we never get to lay in together
anyway this morning i saw my girls and things
it is weird being at home, but not being allowed out ether...

i was so tired all god damn day
like didnt matter what i ate or how much i ate i got no energy
so ive slept a lot
i did go out for a walk cus i needed air
i sat and drew this in about 10mins or so

im gonna work on it more tomorrow
its shana from shakugan no shana

spoke to jack on the phone for 40mins tonight
seeing how he is and how school is
its all kicked off
its amazing the damage this virus is doing
like seriously
cant wait for it to blow over

tomorrow i am gonna work on my picture more and hopefully see jack~
Oz has been enjoying having me home tho X3
ive been buying stuff online too~
woo for online shopping which im surprised is still happening!

Sent home

Evening

Didn't sleep well due to being a bit stressed
i know i have been stressed and anxious about school
ive been scratching in my sleep again so my skin is sore -_____-

I got to school and as usual on a wednesday there is staff meeting
but being lowly technicians, we never attend
but science teachers came back and said that basically
"what the head master said today was that, if you have any health issues, to go see him"
so a few science staff went off to see him
a bit later 2 came back confirming they would be sent home due to health issues and being at risk with the virus, well more at risk anyway
jack said I should go talk to the head teacher...
i didnt want to cus i dont like drawing attention to myself
but orders are orders
so i went down to his office and told him whats what
and he said "so how is your immune system then?"
i said "weak due to having an auto immune disease, many illnesses on top which stresses my body out further so it takes me a while to kick any viruses"
he said "no debate you are to go home"
and that was that
so reluctantly i walked back to the prep room to tell jack
he wasnt surprised, to be honest i wasnt, i just didnt want it confirmed
i didnt want to leave him. that would be both me and julia not there to help him
he said he would be fine and is cancelling all practicals
i told him the biology ones were going ahead today as i have prepped them
he was fine with that
i still didnt want to go tho
it was only 9:30am! and i was leaving
i didnt even get to say bye to any staff cus they were all teaching....

i got home and mum was home so i had a brew with her and filled her in
im to stay home 'self isolate' which i think is stupid when you live with people
and i get full pay, so im not complaining, its not taken out of my holidays or sick time
and they will let me know when i can come back
mum was happy to have me home of course and she and dad have both been worried for me
so i think theyre kinda relieved im home safe

today i spent a lot of the time sleeping
i have been exhausted but i think its cus i have been stressed
doesnt half take it out on my body
so i slept
did 50mins of yoga and dance, should have recorded myself it was a good sesh XD
had a shower as i got sweaty
went back to bed ><
researched online home crafts anything i wanna do kinda thing
and yeah about it

rang jack to see if hes ok
and he survived the day
i think he basically told the teachers to sod off XD
he was making sure chemicals were safe
i need him to kill my e.coli too
it feels weird being at home i dont feel settled somehow and i told him that
and i told him im missing him and wanna see him at the weekend 
he seems alright tho

tomorrow i guess i will please myself
no yoga ether tomorrow
i wanna do some drawing maybe, need to practice dances as i bet i could get some recorded really

damn stupid virus

evening

didnt sleep well despite having a nice relaxing evening last night

last night i discovered that the convention has been postponed til june.................
you what!!??
i was looking forward to that damn it!!!
all cus of this damn virus
and whats more is that we got a txt from karen last night saying shes shutting her yoga studio down for a while cus of the virus
hope you're happy china >.>
all the good things taken away from me
and you know
im still at work!!!!!
why are we still at school!?
seems so damn unfair >.>


i drove to work and got to work 15mins early...the roads were oddly quiet
think its cus people are self isolating and working from home
i got to school and julia rang up - shes not coming it
not coming in for 2 weeks...
what!?
julia is never not in, whats the crack!?
her daughter is coughing and high temperature and new guidelines state if someone in your household is showing these symptoms you have to stay at home for 2 weeks -____-
so thats julia gone
i was stressing as theres normally so much chemistry going off
she told me to be careful
a lot of staff kept asking "you alright Jo?" "should you be in Jo?"
how do i know? i feel fine and i want to continue as normally if i can
also it says on the govenment website that if you have underlining health issues to stay at home. but doesnt actually list what health issues. are we talking asthma or cancer here?
do i stay home or not?
ether way im staying to support jack
who was very stressed what with having julia off
so today has been full on running around im shattered
and survived off a lot of sugar 0.0

i got home early cus i started work early
i had a brew with Oz and mum and nearly went to bed afterwards but somehow stayed awake
and even pushed myself to go for a walk which i sorta enjoyed
i havent done much else really

got my physio exercises to do but cant say i can be bothered to do em >.>
but i will i guess

tomorrow its school
i mostly stay at jacks on a wednesday but i cant be bothered
he did ask but i managed to politely put him off saying he will probably be tired and grouchy after work what with all the work that needs to be done
mainly checking no chemicals will explode if were off school for a while
it sadly means as well i will have to kill my e.coli >< 
i like my bacteria its done well ^^

anyway this damn virus best shut the school
i want time off damn it seeing as it taken everything else away from me
i cant moan
others have it much much worse 
just annoying all this mass hysteria and panic buying and the fact its all people can talk about, i say all this but you watch it will be me who gets it XD

Yo~

I'm back

couldnt be bothered to do my diary basically!

so last week I had my blood test
did not pass out but felt my heart stutter which was strange
but it was good on me for not passing out
I have since had my results and all is well
i didnt really want to go to hospital for further tests what with the virus around, i dont want to catch it or put any more stress on doctors so im leaving any further testing
the doctor said he'd refer me if i pass out again tho
so fair enough

my weekend was spent at jack's
it was nice
i went shopping really on saturday
not that i got anything amazing
i did however get a new stitch plushie ^^
hes in an easter bunny suit and was reduced from £20 to £12 ^^

i came home each day tho to see Oz
and sunday i had Oz in my room which he loved ^^
i like to make sure he knows hes loved and wanted 

about it really
cant really be bothered to report in on my week
today school was alright
hard work as it usually is despite me not having any practicals

i felt a bit stressed about work tho
thursday i came home 90mins early as i felt if i continued i was going to faint
so i left for home
as soon as i walked through the door i cried
id had enough basically
and i was stressed over the weekend thinking how im gonna get through work
i was getting so wound up by it i was hearing noises - tunes
which is part of psychosis and it acts up on me when i get stressed
it even woke me a few times as i felt i could hear things even whilst asleep!
today at work i kept hearing tunes
does my head in
even when i play music i can hear them >.>

i brought flowers for mum this weekend
as next weekend is mother's day and i have the convention so i'll be too dead to buy flowers
well i hope we have convention depends on this bloody corona virus
sick of hearing about it
does my head in
and the panic buying is actually boardline crazy
like its the end of the world
1000s of people die of flu each year but we dont rave about that >.> 
anyway moving on

tomorrow just school really
nothing amazing 

convention best still be on this weekend