first school day back together

Otsukararesama deshita~

I slept a lot better last night compared to the previous night

woke up a lot and i think got up for a wee but on the whole slept better and didnt need to get up for pain killers so i think switching sides worked

we got up for school this morning well i got up at 5:45am and jack 6:20am as I was getting breakfast together, showering and drying my hair

My heart was going out of rhythm on the way to school which wasnt nice to be honest

but school on the whole went pretty well and pretty quickly 

it was an alright day :) 

and we found out that despite lockdown the bed people can still deliver our bed

sadly jack can not continue with his driving lessons so we might have to insure him on my car and take him out on weekends to keep the practice up

cant have it all i guess

we got home and mum pretty much went out to walk with her friends outside

we sat with Oz and had a brew

i left jack upstairs on his switch whilst i did 35mins of yoga then helped with dinner

since then just got ready for school and im just gonna mong out in front of a couple of videos then go fetch and go bed as i am shattered

but as first days back go it was alright to be honest

and jack seems ok here, just hope i sleep tonight, theres really not much room -___-

it's a single bed for a reason

 Evening~

Man did I not sleep -_____- theres probably a reason why it's called a SINGLE bed 

really wasnt any room! i couldnt get comfy, i did fall asleep literally straight away at 10pm but woke up at midnight then from there I got up cus I was conscious of waking Jack up, so I was up for a good hour then came to bed and surprisingly didnt disturb him! he said he slept pretty well. I woke up loads and couldnt get comfy, tonight we are gonna try swap sides and see if that makes any difference. Still its nice to have him there :)

This morning I had a very stressy mother she is having a massive stress over the lock down 

so i stayed out her way this morning

me and jack went to go meet harvey brandon and theo in the park and we went for a walk round together which was really nice then me and jack came home and had a rest and had lunch

then pretty much just rested as I was shattered, sorted out a few bits and stuff

we havent done an awful lot today but that suits me what with having work tomorrow

Im a bit anxious about work but i think my main issue with work is 'will i sleep tonight?' 'will i be able to get through the day?' we shall see. Just in a lot of pain lately and medication and pain makes life harder and tiring.

i spent my evening looking for art work to do next cus obviously i finished my halloween art work so what do i draw next? thinking a digimon picture for a change possibly 

I ordered my 2021 calendar online today, doesnt feel like 5 mins since i ordered this years! this year has been fast and weird. i have ordered another japanese calendar and its a cinnamonrol one so its got white bunnies on it X3

tomorrow is school - the last term before we break up for christmas

despite lockdown schools remain open! whats the point!? guess im kinda glad in a way cus it keeps me in a structured routine. but at the same time id take any time off i can get XD

i will be going school with jack it will be his first school morning at this house

im sure he will be fine

my mother did calm down by the afternoon shes just worried and hopes we can still get the bungalow on time

it's halloween 2020! and Jack lives with me!

 Happy Halloween~~~~~

I did not sleep last night it was so hot in the house I was literally sweating T___T

so by midnight I got up, opened up my windows and went downstairs for a bit

came to bed around 1am then fell asleep but kept waking up cus of the wind outside was so strong, i sleep so light so the littlest of the noises wakes me up and what woke me up was the gate blew open and of course no one else would wake up and hear the gate banging so i was the one to get up and close it and of course by which point i am awake and in pain so yup i was up til 6:50 I went back to bed for an hour or so.

I did some dancing this morning but because i had a lot on my mind i kept screwing up a lot, really crappy dancing but it was exercise, then had a shower

after which i played around with make up until i achieved this sort of look 

Halloween photos! been such a long time since i have taken any photos of myself

After lunch I sorted out my bedroom as i got it ready to house the Jack XD

my bed is in the middle of my room which has NEVER happened before it looks soooo strange but had to be done and then I had a bit of sort out 

mum made some cakes and we decorated them X3

I was left home alone and fell asleep for a bit cus i was just shattered

then I pretty much got a txt from Jack asking if he could set off

his mum and step dad dropped him off and we talked on the drive way for a bit but it was very cold 

then we were left with Jack

to be honest it has been nice seeing him outside of work. and with new restrictions coming into place its a good time for him to move in with us. 

he brought his pumpkin and we carved them

mine is on the left~ obviously better

we had dinner then after wards we went for a walk at 7:45pm 

i wanted to see if many people had bothered to put up halloween decorations and very few actually had so it was a bit sad and no one really treat or treating. 

we came back and sat with Oz who was very very happy to see Jack think he ended up grooming the whole of Jack's face! 

now we're just in my bedroom and going to start one of many night sharing a single bed......

im happy to have him by my side once again

we will work it out but boris johnson is suppose to be announcing something at 10pm could be an actual lockdown - who knows!

we said we would meet theo and harvey in the park tomorrow as it is still allowed but i guess that depends on tonights announcement as well but it would be nice to see them i havent seen anyone for such a long time its so sad 

apart from that i havent really got any plans tomorrow

oh i uploaded my Noibat Pumpkaboo picture as well today

halloween has been much much better than i thought it was gonna be 

Halloween Bulbasaur and nail art

 Konbanwa~~

So last night I was printing out the forms that the financial adviser had emailed across to us. But as I finished my diary at 8pm I heard my dad say "right shall we get these forms done"....D:

so me mum and dad sat for a whole hour doing these forms, i was printing and scanning documents and stuff and yeah between the 3 of us we did get it all done but we only got to sit down at 9:15pm I had had enough >< I chilled out by doing my halloween nail art 2020!

I went to bed at 10pm and I did sleep! and I slept til 8:30am as well....that was some sleep

I did 40 mins of yoga this morning and there was A LOT of popping, cracking, etc....

This morning I went out with mum, we went post office to get the forms securely sent

then went shops for a few bits then home then out for a walk which was quite nice

we got back and had lunch and i started drifting off to sleep as i was cold and in pain so i had literally crawled up into a ball on the sofa, mum stirred me and said "shall we dye your hair then?"

so we did that, mummy kindly dyed my hair red for me ^^ so I look like a pumpkin as well XD

Since then I procrastinated finishing off my pokemon halloween picture, but knew it needed to be finished for tomorrow! >< so I was watching make up videos and looking at earrings online

but in the end I did crack on and do my work and got both pokemon halloween pictures done

here is bulbasaur and I will upload the noibat one tomorrow

that was pretty much my day

of course the day is always broken up with sit downs with pets who are all doing well

Oz enjoys autumn as theres load of old manky leaves for him to eat -_____-

Tomorrow

I havent fully planned tomorrow out yet

I will basically please myself up to when Jack moves in XD

i know i want to do halloween make up, maybe decorate cakes mum plans on making, do my exercising

clear my bed of plush for jack to stay, we had been putting them on my bedroom floor when jack just stayed for the odd night but for continuous nights im not doing that so they will go on the book cases downstairs, i will miss them but needs must T^T

jack will arrive around 4-5pm

we will carve pumpkins together ^^ and not sure what else really,  i really havent planned it ><

but it will still be a hell of a lot better than what  i thought halloween was gonna be like!

GOT A PUMPKIN!

 Evening~~~

I managed to sleep but woke up at midnight and got back to sleep but woke up at 2am and needed to get up so I stayed up for a bit then went back to bed. Had a dream that I was in so much pain i couldnt walk and mum was taking me in a wheel chair to the doctors and i wouldnt stop screaming out in pain. the littlest feel to my body caused bruising. I screamed and screamed.

I woke up to my alarm at 7am and thought "i mustnt have been screaming in my sleep then as no one woke me up" but got out of bed and had an alright morning apart from looking and feeling like death.

I got to school and jack got there 5 mins before me

i walked in to find a pumpkin on my desk

it was beautiful I was so happy

it isnt as big as I usually get but its a lovely shape and I am grateful for having an actual pumpkin

we had a bit of catch up as we havent seen each other for 9 days

then we got on with some work, i did the experiment i needed to do and all the chemicals still worked

I decided to give the bank a ring and they said the que wait time was 2mins so i hung on the line and 40 mins later me and jack had successfully managed to open a joint bank account.

we did more work then had lunch and talked about what is gonna happen next

and basically we said that after jack's driving lesson on saturday - halloween - he will get his mum or step dad to drop him and some of stuff off at my house and he will live here until we have the house which should be 2 weeks time. then he can support me and sort any house stuff with me and not break any lock down rules and not be on public transport. he said he was glad we are doing it this week as his tram pass runs out next week and its £50 for the month, so thats saved him.

so yeah i had written halloween 2020 off but now i will have jack with me, a pumpkin oh and on the way jack picked a pumpkin up for himself so we can carve them together! :D 

im gonna do halloween nails tonight and i think on halloween its self i will wear make up and draw a spider web on my face or something and get into halloween a bit :3

We finished up work at 2pm

i came home and had a brew and tea cake as i was hungry then mum wanted to go for a walk so i dragged myself for a walk. glad i did it but couldnt be bothered i felt shattered and drained

but we talked about jack staying and stuff

i got back and sorted a few things out, like buying jack a new earring as the DNA one i brought him a few weeks ago has gone weird and green, so i brought him a hexagon design one then i designed my halloween nails then finally sorted out harder things for me - house documents - which i coped well with, ive still got stuff to fill out and send back but ive made a start with it all

i was gonna do some drawing tonight but ran out of time and really tired so gonna get my lad, sit with him then do my halloween nails

tomorrow i have no plans as of yet to be honest!

No luck with pumpkins

 Evening

I was slowly drifting off to sleep last night when at 10:30pm my body decided it needed a wee -____- man it picks it's moments and after that I struggled to get to sleep as I was aching. I got up til 12:30 and when I got back to bed i set my oil defuser for 2 hours so that softly went whilst lighting my room up different colours, it is amazing i love it ^^

I woke up at 7:30am but managed to grab another half hour ^^

So this morning mum went food shopping I did my 30mins of dance practice then had a shower

i got the shower, and yesterday I felt like playing with make up but didnt, but today I did

i put the full make up on as I havent done in such a long time - not even for work

i havent worn any make up at all, some people apply foundation or mascara or lip stick - something. Jo - zilch. I go bare faced. I just cant see the point when half your face is covered with a mask. 

but today I did it. and my god how healthy and awake i looked! it was shocking to see the reflection in the mirror actually. didnt feel like  me. im so used to seeing pale zombie

Mum said we would go pick your own pumpkin today

so she drove us about 15 or so minutes away so a farm

a farm that was shut, just the remnants of pumpkins left in the field D:

so that was a bit disappointing but I wasnt too disheartened by it all

we went for a walk round there which was very nice, totally in the woods which is what i like

I was tired and hungry - like a child - so we went home

after lunch mum offered to go try some shops

we tried 3 shops and none, not one pumpkin D: whats with the shortage of pumpkins this year!?

so strange as usually you can get hold of them right up to halloween

I wasnt too disappointed which surprised me to be honest cus i love pumpkins. 

mum said she will try a farm shop tomorrow - expensive pumpkins XD i told her not to worry i was ok but she said "i dont want you to go without a pumpkin! its 1 day in the year you like"

sweet of her :3

i texted jack to say i had no luck, he said he was gonna check two stores tomorrow on the way to work i told him it was fine that pumpkins are heavy and he would then need to get it to work. he said he was gonna be fine with all that :/ 

this afternoon i havent done an awful lot, been pretty exhausted from being on the go all day

so i worked on my drawing and spent time with the pets, Oz snoring beside me the usual

mum also asked me to look into some eye cream for her, as she buys UK skin care and I buy korean and I keep telling her  the ingredients in her products are poor. So she wanted to try a better eye cream as she worries she will end up with old saggy baggy eyes like her dad had when he was old

I found one for her and ordered it :) If its something I can do - its skin care XD

tomorrow I am going to work ugh, to do more hours

i dont want to go in if i am honest. but i have a practical to test to see if the amino acids are still alive and kicking, probably update some stuff or do some display work. and talk to jack about a few things. the main one being "wanna live with me and my family til we have the bungalow?" ><

thats it really :/

dog cushions!

 Evening

Well last night was my first night with my oil defuser and I think it did help you know, having a constant noise - sounds a bit like water babbling. and being able to smell lavender and such yeah think it helped. that and the amount of pain killers i took, i woke up at midnight and got comfy again and went back to sleep!  I didnt need to get up! and thats were i remained til 8am! did well ^^ hopefully it will repeat again tonight~

So this morning I did 45mins of yoga, needed a good stretch, didnt bother to shower as we wanted to go out to the home store - which turned out to be quite crappy if i am honest. both me and mum were not impressed. especially unimpressed at how much of the shop was taken up by christmas decorations....it was crazy. PLUS they had the nerve to play christmas music!!! my god! its october! D:

so very wrong. was was worse, the speakers or even the music we werent sure - but they were all distorted. so the whole shop was playing distorted christmas music T^T we literally could not wait to leave. we went to the shop next to it and brought them out of biscuits XD I like a stock for my locker at work ^^

We got back and had lunch and stuff and sat with pets as it was very rainy out so they couldnt play outside really.

I decided to txt jack see how he is and if he has heard anything about the house

he rang me up saying he had...

they said we could exchange money and keys on November 6th...

while this may seem like a good thing it was also incredibly stressful. The money needs to be in the bank account by 3rd. My dad came home and he and mum were talking money and where money will come from, on the phone to financial adviser and such. whilst i just laid on my bed and let the tears flow. literally could not cope with all that. 

did not know that whilst all this was going on my dad left to go back to work and my mum gave jack a call XD

she came up to see me and console what was left of me

she said they have got all in the process of being sorted and i havent got to do anything other than make a joint bank account with jack. so i felt a bit better but still very sick, overwhelmed and dizzy. she told me she spoke to jack about it all and about me. and she suggested he come live with us until we have things settled. as we cant see each other due to the lockdown its making things harder so if he comes into our household we can get things done and he can support me as i do seem to cope better with him there. but at the same time it will be very weird having him in my territory. 

we have decided to leave it to the following week which i think is the 12th? for key and money to be exchanged, so we wont be as stressed or pressured.

I just wish i could actually cope with stuff instead of always getting upset

I noticed my breathing was all over the place so i said to mum i needed air and to sort my head out. as much as it has come as a relief that we are nearing the end of the house stuff its also incredibly daunting. just the sheer amount of work we will need to do is unreal. i know it hasnt all got to be done in one week. and then theres the thought that i wont be living here anymore. i will be defending for  myself. yeah it is A LOT

after my walk i had a brew

then went to do some work for chris he has asked me to design stuff for the school but its been taking me ages and i dont know how happy i even am with it. i saved it and will look at it again tomorrow

I sat then with a face sheet on and tried to relax

tomorrow

oh my god tomorrow is my birthday and christmas wrapped into one

I CAN NOT WAIT!

im going to a pumpkin farm for 'pick our own pumpkin'

i have charged my phone up as i plan to take loads of photos of pumpkins in their natural habitat. i have never done it before and im so excited. it will be very muddy with the sheer amount of rain we have had but i do not care, i cant wait! then mum said we might go for a walk round the woods near there 

Oh I took a photo of the cushions I have made mia for her birthday

based on her 2 dogs - beige is Walter and grey is Winnie. Hopefully she will like them

the dogs are on a velvety material and the back of the cushion is teddy fabric so its soft and fluffy