dog cushions!

 Evening

Well last night was my first night with my oil defuser and I think it did help you know, having a constant noise - sounds a bit like water babbling. and being able to smell lavender and such yeah think it helped. that and the amount of pain killers i took, i woke up at midnight and got comfy again and went back to sleep!  I didnt need to get up! and thats were i remained til 8am! did well ^^ hopefully it will repeat again tonight~

So this morning I did 45mins of yoga, needed a good stretch, didnt bother to shower as we wanted to go out to the home store - which turned out to be quite crappy if i am honest. both me and mum were not impressed. especially unimpressed at how much of the shop was taken up by christmas decorations....it was crazy. PLUS they had the nerve to play christmas music!!! my god! its october! D:

so very wrong. was was worse, the speakers or even the music we werent sure - but they were all distorted. so the whole shop was playing distorted christmas music T^T we literally could not wait to leave. we went to the shop next to it and brought them out of biscuits XD I like a stock for my locker at work ^^

We got back and had lunch and stuff and sat with pets as it was very rainy out so they couldnt play outside really.

I decided to txt jack see how he is and if he has heard anything about the house

he rang me up saying he had...

they said we could exchange money and keys on November 6th...

while this may seem like a good thing it was also incredibly stressful. The money needs to be in the bank account by 3rd. My dad came home and he and mum were talking money and where money will come from, on the phone to financial adviser and such. whilst i just laid on my bed and let the tears flow. literally could not cope with all that. 

did not know that whilst all this was going on my dad left to go back to work and my mum gave jack a call XD

she came up to see me and console what was left of me

she said they have got all in the process of being sorted and i havent got to do anything other than make a joint bank account with jack. so i felt a bit better but still very sick, overwhelmed and dizzy. she told me she spoke to jack about it all and about me. and she suggested he come live with us until we have things settled. as we cant see each other due to the lockdown its making things harder so if he comes into our household we can get things done and he can support me as i do seem to cope better with him there. but at the same time it will be very weird having him in my territory. 

we have decided to leave it to the following week which i think is the 12th? for key and money to be exchanged, so we wont be as stressed or pressured.

I just wish i could actually cope with stuff instead of always getting upset

I noticed my breathing was all over the place so i said to mum i needed air and to sort my head out. as much as it has come as a relief that we are nearing the end of the house stuff its also incredibly daunting. just the sheer amount of work we will need to do is unreal. i know it hasnt all got to be done in one week. and then theres the thought that i wont be living here anymore. i will be defending for  myself. yeah it is A LOT

after my walk i had a brew

then went to do some work for chris he has asked me to design stuff for the school but its been taking me ages and i dont know how happy i even am with it. i saved it and will look at it again tomorrow

I sat then with a face sheet on and tried to relax

tomorrow

oh my god tomorrow is my birthday and christmas wrapped into one

I CAN NOT WAIT!

im going to a pumpkin farm for 'pick our own pumpkin'

i have charged my phone up as i plan to take loads of photos of pumpkins in their natural habitat. i have never done it before and im so excited. it will be very muddy with the sheer amount of rain we have had but i do not care, i cant wait! then mum said we might go for a walk round the woods near there 

Oh I took a photo of the cushions I have made mia for her birthday

based on her 2 dogs - beige is Walter and grey is Winnie. Hopefully she will like them

the dogs are on a velvety material and the back of the cushion is teddy fabric so its soft and fluffy