Test next week

 Evening

I slept pretty well last night thank god

and didnt feel too deathy when I got up ether, Jack said he was doing pretty ok too. Hes still got a lingering runny nose tho

We dropped Oz off for day care

School is just so hard

its so busy and I am also not feeling 100% ether.

I as going to meet with head of science at period 2 but he found me at the start of the day and asked if we could meet now >< was not prepared for this! But it wasnt too bad. I dont get told off or anything but I just always feel inadequate by having days off

I did just find the day difficult. Its like I can't think straight or have enough energy for any of the tasks ahead of me. Yeah I just need to be well -______- Jack supported me

I had my biology lesson which was just so much to take in its unreal. We have a half hour test next week too on all we have learned in these 3 hours! So our homework is to revise!! ><

I was looking forward to doing some art after my tasks were done but the washing up and mess is just mounting up like its breeding. As I actually had some energy after my tasks I did an hour of clearing up. I was sweating. It about killed me off but I can see a bit of work space appearing. Yes its as bad as that. The place is a sodding mess. I hate it. But theres just not enough time to do everything. We need a 4th technician but the school wont pay for another member of staff >.> like we 3 are paid anything decent anyway! we are one of lowest paid schools in nottingham

But there is a lot of support for staff which is why I stay at the school. Also this year the school has decided to pay for flu vaccines for everyone who wants one. Typical you know as this is my first year being asthmatic and as such I get a flu vaccine for free on the NHS anyway now. So its annoying the year the school decides to pay is the same year that I will get them free every year from now on anyway! 

Mum txt to say she had dropped Oz off at home before she went to her massage which was nice of her. We popped to a corner shop on the way home for stuff for lessons tomorrow. I was knackered but didnt want to be doing it tomorrow morning really

we came home and I had fruit loaf and tea which was amazing and needed

I laid on my bed til dinner as Jack was just having pizza and I made him cook it, I was dead

we had dinner then I went on my laptop for a bit. Now I am gonna do a bit of a work out, just 15mins again like yesterday as it is more than enough for me right now!

Tomorrow

is friday and school. Thank god its friday it has felt like such a long week 0.0 I am also seeing mum after school not seen her for a few days

We were both back

 Evening

I couldnt get off to sleep and ended up getting up for 2 wees >.> and today been peeing for britain but I think you do pee a lot when you're coming to the end of a cold

So we got up and asked each other how we were feeling

Jack said he wasnt too bad, I honestly thought he would be really poorly as I bloody was on day 3 >.>

I felt a bit deathy but really wanted to go in. So we got ready, dropped Oz over and went to school

School was hard and I was having massive anxiety! I had to go and walk outside on the streets to get red leaves for an A-level practical first thing. What with my anxiety, cold weather, and sore throat, I actually couldnt breathe. I was almost staggering back to the prep room for my inhaler. I have never been that close to a full on asthma attack. Honestly couldnt breathe, or get a full lung in. I wasnt frightened as I know thats the worse thing you can do as worrying messes the breathing even more. I eventually caught my breath but it did leave me somewhat shaky so then I was recovering from that. Ugh guess I was still pretty sick this morning. I did have 2 members of staff say "take it easy" "can tell youre not right your not your usual bubbly self" yeh people can see when I am sick

Jack did my to-do list with me as I wanted to go through what I needed to do and stuff. He felt more capable today than me ALSO the physic teachers had prepped their own lessons and put it on their own trollies!! How unfair, come on biology teachers >.> So Jack said he would do my biology lessons today. He gave me jobs to do today and once I had done those I would be allowed to do art. 

I didnt get that much art done as it goes....but never mind.

I got the day done even if it was a massive ask.....jesus I was exhausted and starving

We picked Oz up, not that he would come for me T^T I was so hungry and tired Ozwald.....and we had him for 2 hour last to dry him out and it meant 2 hours of fuss and treats and he still gives me the run around, I worked out he actually wanted a wee before being picked up thats why he was running around. I saw him do a big wee then went to pick him up. But he still ran off!! Actual git

we got home and I had tea, fruit loaf, pain killers, hot bag, joggers. the lot.

I hadnt got to cook as we put stew on this morning which was nice its just not my kinda dinner really.

Then I havent done much else but rest really as I feel tired but I will do a 10min work out just to help me sleep and help my pain and well being. Then have a bath and sit with Oz. Asked Jack to finish gaming at 9pm so we can watch tenchi and go to bed on time as we both need sleep.

tomorrow

school, period 2 I have a meeting with head of science about my absences....then period 3 I have my biology lesson. Then the day to get through. Plenty of sodding practicals T^T

we're both of work sick!!!

 Evening

So last night, I had sleep tea and sleep tablets, I had done a bit of a work out

this was all so I could SLEEP

could I? I was so anxious and worried about sleep

at 11:30 I got up for a bit, but I couldnt help but feel alone with my thoughts so at midnight I woke Jack up which was a hard task, how deep does that guy sleep!? jesus....he was struggling to stay awake and I told him I have already been up and didnt know what to do. I told him to go back to sleep, he was of no use to me >.> So i laid there and laid there

I decided that missing another day of school isnt worth all this and I wasnt gonna go

when I made the decision I wasnt gonna go, I fell asleep! Funny that!

We woke up to the alarm

I felt shattered and like death, I was coughing a lot and couldnt get my breath, amazing how different it is having a sore throat when asthma. Jack looked awful and sounded awful. It is definitely the same bug. He looks how I was at the weekend.

We just both said "can't go!" We have never done this before, both been off sick

Poor Julia!!! is all I could think

Jack rang us both in sick and rang Julia to tell her whats what and not to stress shes only one person and if teachers didnt get what they need so be it. I am keen to know who demanded their lessons in full and who said "its cool leave it" I want the details from Julia

we were back in bed for 6:30am and got up just after 8am and had breakfast

and what a waste of a sodding day

seriously

I do not cope well with resting. Spending the whole day sitting and laying is like sheer torture to me. I did feel like crying a coupe of times as it feels so unfair. Jack went to game playing turn based games by himself but on the whole he just sat round but thats not really anything out the ordinary for Jack

I made biscuits and cut his hair that was like only two productive things I did

I didnt exercise as I hurt from exercising yesterday. I dont mean like "i havent used these muscles in ages" hurt its more "i hurt and ache cus I am poorly and need rest" So I was hard on myself and didnt exercise. Despite my desire too. The fact that I am of course gaining weight as Im eating none stop and doing nothing. Jack says he has a splitting headache and is hungry which is how I was

I know I am getting better its just slow

I did a little bit of digital drawing and ordered a few bits online and yeah just waited for the day to bloody end. We had Oz for 2 hours this evening. Simply because the little critter thought it was a good idea to play in the rain, which I was ok with as he needed a stretch. Its when he then sits in the mud whilst its raining and trying to wash himself.....like go in your cage and dry off!!!

So I brought him in and discovered just how wet and muddy he was -______- Ozwald....

so we towel dried him and brushed him and kept him in to dry. He thought it was great XD as its 2 hours of treats and fuss. Cant help but feel we played into his paws....

Chris txt me this evening to say he was off too, cold also....god so much going around and only week 3 of term. It was so different this time last year as people werent getting colds so much as we were all distant and wearing something called MASKS.....

so tomorrow

we are getting up for school and putting the stew on.

and I have told Julia and mum that we are going to school unless I txt them otherwise

I hope I can go as I do not want another boring dull painful day tomorrow...... 

But god I hope I sleep. My body is achy and tired but god knows if I will actually be able to sleep.

cried 3 times at work under 2 hours must be a new record

 Evening

despite having sleeping tablets I woke up like every 2 hours....why!? well unfair

I felt shattered for school

I took Oz to daycare and he seemed to be ok actually and mum text later to say he was ok

I on the other hand was not ok

I was home by 10:10am.....and in those 2 hours of being in school I cried 3 times!!

could not handle what was going off around me. Just didnt feel and wasnt well really. We did another covid test before leaving the house and all was well But I am still getting over this cold which is just a raw sore throat now. Im not having to cough much but I do feel like crap. Keep shivering even tho I am not actually cold and just feel exhausted. I have now passed it on to Jack hes full of cold, like how I was on saturday

so anyway, after crying 3 times I said to Jack I wasnt well. He had said to stay home anyway but I didnt want to rack up any more school days off sick. So he said to go home, he had been so supportive through my tears and things. I asked if I could take my painting home and just do display work from home. He was fine with that. To be honest I think he just wanted me home XD

I got home and went to bed for an hour after a cup of tea as my body was just shaking it was stressed out.

I got up and painted and painted. Mum came over for lunch and brought Oz over, she only stayed an hour as I said I needed to work and she was draining my energy.

I kept painting and sitting cus I was flagging a bit.

Jack got a lift home and we had a cup of tea then I did some more painting

reluctantly made dinner, did some more painting as I was determined to get it finished and I did

Watered my plants and noticed several have rabbit teeth marks on.....thanks Oz

I feel I should exercise as I havent done any for 4 days but I have found it difficult just to get through the day never mind extra. But I need to now. I have been eating endless sugar and my joints are hurting from lack of stimulation/exercise....so I found a video of kpop dancing it doesnt look hard. Its 20mins but I dont think I will do the full time

as for tomorrow....not sure yet.....apart of me thinks "stay off and recover" but I dont want to. I might just go in and see how I do again. Or if I am like death in the morning I will have it off.

I would like to go school tomorrow!

 Evening

I had to get up just for about 15-20mins til 11:40pm as I needed pain killers and more food. Whats up with me!? literal bottomless pit I can not remember being so starved for days on end. We all get the odd hungry day but this like day 3 of sheer hunger!!!

I did sleep pretty well after that. Dreamed of being a wolf then I had a dream where I went to Mia's craft fair and she asked me to get something from her car, I decided to drive it but I left the handbreak off and it wheeled off by itself and crashed...I didnt know what to do XD so I woke up

I got up at 8am, Tara had messaged me to say she had a great birthday. James had arranged for them to feed the tigers at the zoo! How exciting! That is an experience and a half. She also loved my present. She said she doesnt want to use it but I told her she needs to!!

This morning I did feel quite rotten and didnt have much voice, however I still dragged myself round the supermarket and it about killed me off!! Jack unpacked as always and we brought Oz in for a brew and fruit loaf, our usual sunday routine. Then jack helped me do my soup

He hasnt done much all weekend. He has hoovered and did an hour of gardening but apart from that he has literally just been on his phone. Id be so bored and feel its such a waste of time!! hes only reading too hes not playing games or messaging people. Literally reading crap. Dont know why hes done bugger all this weekend. I didnt have the energy to tell him to do something.

I did a bit more digital drawing for the first time in a long time!!

I made biscuits as I have scoffed them all, I cooked my meat for breakfast for the week and did dinner. So much food!! I have eaten a lot today also. I managed 25mins of yoga. Had an hour's sleep

Jack has said we will see how I am in the morning whether I can go school or not, I have said I am going. He said "we will see" and gave me a look that said 'no arguments' jesus >.> Ive told mum Im going and dropping Oz off for daycare

I thought about Oz and daycare. Mum lives less than 3 streets away, streets that are like 60houses long not 500. She lives a very short journey, no traffic lights ether. Oz needs to suck it up. As if he doesnt go to daycare come winter time, it is dark when we get home from school and before school. I will boot him outside before school as it does get a little brighter towards leaving the house, however I am less happy about him being out after 4pm during the winter. Its cold and dark. So if hes not at mum's during the day he literally will only be going outside for an hour each morning everyday thats it. all other time will be indoors. So he is going daycare damn it. Its for his own well being as he will become lazy and inactive - more so >.>

I had a nice pamper in the bath

we had Oz in for over an hour he loved it

I hope I sleep tonight

tomorrow is school and I would like to go!

full of cold....T_T

 Konbanwa~

despite not being able to breathe I did in fact sleep!

I woke up at 6:30am tho...and felt like death. absolute death

i could barely talk or breathe. I have green snot and a blocked nose

however I guess this a bit reassuring that it is just a cold and not covid!

Oh it is also Tara's 30th Birthday today!!! I wished her happy birthday and I drew for her that picture of Umbreon and Flareon and got it printed on glass kitchen surface protector, I hope she likes it

By 9am I had gone back to bed after Jack kindly did me tea and fruit loaf

I got up and cleaned Oz out, Jack assisted as I didnt have my full strength

he did offer to clean Oz out but its more effort than its worth so I did it with him

Then I cleaned the bathroom which practically wiped me out

I sat with Oz for half hour then had lunch then went to bed

I got up and did my biology work. Then jack insisted we go for a walk so I could get some air. I managed a 10min walk and found it exhausting

The whole day jack has been on his phone or on his PC. He has literally done nothing today

Once I did my homework I then had a look what I had got people for xmas, wrote a list, looked for gifts online ordered a couple of pieces. Mum dropped a parcel over which was actually a jacket for her for christmas not that she knows it! I like to be prepared with gifts

I dont like buying everything all in one day or week, I do it throughout the year and store it. Better on the wallet as it spaces expense out and also gives me time to think about gifts and not just random tat

I designed my nails for tonight as I am gonna do those later

I made dinner which was good 

I enjoyed my bath and now just doing my diary with Oz

Honestly today tho I am a bottomless pit! Im like a guinea pig! I have done like no exercise for 3 days but eaten for britain. Jack says you need calories when youre sick to fight off the infection. My bod must be doing war as it keeps having hot sweats im guessing it is literally heating up to kill the infection XD Im trying not to think about how much I have eaten and the fact I have done no exercise for 3 days in a row now. Not good not good. My mind is telling me how fat I am ect but I am trying to think that I need food and rest!

tomorrow

got food shop, Jack has already said I can wait in the car. Like hell. I want to choose my meat and fish!!! I havent got anything else to do really

I hope I feel a bit better tomorrow

i know first thing in the morning is always like the worst part

Off school already!! 0.0;

 Konbanwa~~~

So wednesday I was complaining to Jack that my throat was burning but didnt think too much of it. Yesterday I woke up with a sore throat, headache and just felt a bit death like

I went to school tho after doing a covid test which was negative

School was HARD

back to back practicals that everyone wants all the same stuff!!!

I also had my 2nd biology lesson which was making onion slides and using microscopes

I actually helped Luke with the onion slides rather than get my own microscope and do the work tho. So I didnt get the work done. It was a lot to take in again....I literally cant read off the board whilst Luke is talking. I can see why I struggled so much in school. Blame it on dyslexia 

The rest of the day was a slog and I kept losing my voice, not completely but it was certainly quieter

I could have cried when i read that I had just as busy day the next day. I couldnt handle it. I couldnt prep it. And just sat under my desk for the last half hour of the day. Jack helped me loads to be honest.

I knew I wasnt right as I was getting goosebumps in a 30c prep room

Mum had been at our house putting plants in and doing too much work. she had been in the heat and made herself feel a bit unwell in the sun. So she had gone home and I didnt get to see her and it was just as well as I got home, had a cup of tea and went to bed til 5:10pm. Jack came in and said we need to dinner. I told him to his own as I wasnt eating

"you cant not eat"

"ill just have fruit loaf"

"you need to eat more than that"

"i wont starve and die from not eating 1 meal. Food has made me feel sick afterwards every time today. I also have no energy or will power to cook"

"Ill cook. I dont mind"

"no youve done enough, you even did some of my work today"

"its fine Jo we are a team and we look after each other"

so with that he left me on the bed and went to make me omelette, wedges and beans. He had kieves and chips from the freezer. He told me I didnt have to eat it all but at it was the first meal hes made me since moving in I made sure to eat it all XD

I laid down on the bed and then forced myself to have a bath. I felt exhausted. I didnt turn my laptop on at all yesterday

On the sofa later I said to Jack

"I actually dont feel well. I dont think I can go tomorrow"

"I dont think you should go tomorrow"

I set the alarm and went to bed after anime, I told Jack I would at least take him school

I did sleep pretty well to say I felt like death. However the best voice I had was whisper voice likemy voice had been reduced to that. I was talking normally but came out as a whisper its so strange how it alters your voice like that. I am normally LOUD XD

I got up this morning and had several debates with Jack about doing display work all day the office at work, working from home, working half a day. I got ready in my uniform then after breakfast I said

"i dont think I can go"

I just didnt feel well as much as it killed me to admit it as I did not want to stay home and miss a day of school on the 2 week of term!!!!

he said "i really think you need to stay home and rest Jo you look sick"

so that was that

he drove to school, I saw Julia in the carpark and I explained to her and she said I looked shattered but I was like "I slept!!" the whole time saying this in my whisper voice >.> she said her and Jack could cover me. But I had such a busy day on!! I felt awful for getting them to cover for me

I drove towards home and called in mums, just the drive back felt exhausting honestly. So I knew I made the right decision staying at home today

we had a cup of tea and I stayed there 9:30am and came home for an hours sleep

I got up and made biscuits which took it out of me. Had lunch whilst catching up on youtube then I sat round and mum rang me saying she was coming over to keep me company before Jack comes home. I had regained a bit of voice by this point. She was getting her shoes on to leave just as Jack came through the door. They made the joke of I go from one carer to another >.>

I sat with Jack and heard about his day. He had a shower and we did dinner not that I wanted it

then after dinner I was sitting drawing nail designs and prepped some paper with tea for tomorrow. 

Throughout the day I have been thinking of xmas gifts and ordered a few things and looked at some things. I have also spent time with my Ozwald. Glad I have him but he didnt want me T_T 

We are just with Oz now before he goes home for the night

I am still gutted I had to have a day off today but cant be helped. I ache a lot but poorly ache so there was no point in pushing myself to exercise also I think I would have made myself very unwell. I feel guilty having two days in a row not exercising!!!!

Tomorrow might do chores, nails, biology work. Anything I want as I dont think I will go anywhere dont think I am well enough to go places