2 plants died this week :'(

 Evening

I was having bad dreams last night, mainly about Adam chasing me and jack said I was thrashing in my sleep. The bed was tip this morning. I woke up 10mins before my alarm. Cus I have been sleeping with weighted blanket, my arms hurt from moving it around in my sleep!

I ate breakfast and died on toilet once again. But wasnt late leaving because i had got up those 10mins earlier! it actually helped this morning!

School was ok, still people congratulating us as they find out about our engagement. I got a lot done but god I was struggling to walk. I came to the conclusion that I would maybe benefit from working from home tomorrow. Id like to be able to walk at the weekend >< So Jack went through what work I can do and I have a shed load of online training to do that is overdue by 2 months.....heh woops. So that will be a lot of my morning tomorrow :/ 

I had lunch with mum and Oz. Went to bed for an hour, got up and had a brew with my demanding loaf of  rabbit >.> hungry and horny.....

I decided to do some jpop dancing for 15mins and got sweaty. I had an early bath and made sure to keep it warm for Jack coming home. I did his lunch for tomorrow, gave him pizza and cider for dinner and he ate that in pyjamas whilst watching anime. I look after him ^^ my dinner was alright. 

so I will probably have time to do something for myself tonight.

I am quite sad as 2 of my house plants have died this week. My bathroom leafy one that Julia gave to me died due to lack of water. Basically tap water browns the leaves due to chemicals in the water system but cacti dont seem to mind. So I usually gather rain water for it (hassle but I do it) or I stick it out in the rain. However we literally had over 2 weeks without rain and I also kept forgetting to buy mineral water from the shop for it. I could see it was withering so I fed it tap water. It went brown and shrivelled up....Next, my 2 remaining spiky cacti in the bathroom have had these little black flies on them for 10 days now. They seem to like my bathroom. So I suggested putting the cacti in the porch and hopefully we will lose some flies out the door as theyre so small the get swept up in the wind. I can pick them off the cacti due to them being very spiky. But my porch is cold. 1 cacti in just 3 days has shrivelled up and died. I am gutted and so sad. I feel a plant murderer. 

Jack says I can have more plants if I want :) But I liked  my plants. Some of mine need repotting too. I have since moved the remaining bathroom cacti back to his warm home of the bathroom. We have lost a good number of  black flies tho. I think cus I put my plants out for rain water time to time (only for a few hours never over night) I think something laid eggs in my cacti and theyve hatched as these black flies :/

tomorrow

I will be working from home then seeing mummy for lunch. 

Flu jabbed

 Evening 

I slept well and once again had trouble waking. Im wondering if its just the clocks have changed recently? It doesnt usually affect me tho.

We got up and did the wednesday chores before school. We were late leaving however as I couldnt get off the toilet. Had awful tummy ache

we were then in bad traffic :/ we got to school and went straight to the shops outside school for some ingredients for a practical and for a few bits for me for home! 

school was ok tho. Lizi gave us an engagement card which was nice of her and informed me of some alternative style bride websites as she said she wanted to buy me a wedding magazine but there was only e-magazines available...but she seems more hyped for my wedding than me XD I told her I havent googled a single wedding related thing as I am not in the mind set to get married right now. I will sort it as and when I feel ready for it

but because I was talking to people and doing other practical stuff I looked at the time 12:45pm....no freaking way!!! I hadnt even prepped one single lesson for tomorrow and I had 5mins left of my shift! so I quickly looked through with Jack and realised it wasnt much and I can sort it in the morning ><

I came home, had lunch with mum and Oz then I went to bed for just under an hour. Made a milk tea when I got up. I felt exhausted tho, the week is catching up with me I feel. I had zero energy and was hungry too. I didnt end up doing a lot and Jack was home early, he had a 30min sit then we went for our flu jabs. I happily told my nurse of my engagement whilst we she jabbed me and then did gave Jack his flu jab. She said we were both due for a asthma check up. Didnt realise I needed check ups >< but I felt ok after my jab I did so well ^^ I laid down for it and it always helps.

we came home, we were only half hour total and left Oz in the house he was good boy and demanded carrot as payment. I havent put him out again today as its been so horrible out there. Thats two days of house bun! he obviously goes in his cage to sleep in the garage tho. he'd live in the house 24/7 if he had his way >.>

after dinner I managed for the first time in over a month - to go on just dance! I did 3 slow songs and called it a day. I had a hot bath. I am struggling to walk now but I am half way through the week now, I can do this

tomorrow

just school nothing special. I just hope we both feel ok after flu jabs. I feel totally fine now but Jack says his arm feels heavy. I have had my sleeping side arm jabbed so I will have to try and sleep facing Jack. My weighted blanket has really been helping me sleep lately tho

We got round to telling more people our news!

 Evening

I slept well having vivid dreams, one about a ghost. Guess it was cus it was halloween maybe? My alarm went off and usually I hit off and im awake, im ready. This morning I turned it off and started to get back to sleep my body saying "you need more sleep" if it wasnt for Jack saying "come on Jo" I honestly dont know what time I would have got up/woke up....scary! People use snooze. I have never ever needed the snooze feature but I understand now why single people may need it!

This morning, my legs freakin hurt. Good god the pain. Really hurt to walk. I said to Jack that the only reason I was able to go to work was because I didnt have any practicals on.

we had breakfast and despite Oz having his morning carrot, he smelt me having banana, oinked over and JUMPED on the sofa between us! he never does that, and was in my face demanding he was to have my banana. Its very threatening my loaf! I gave him what he wanted and he hopped off the sofa, hopped off and ate it. Didnt see him again...user bun

School was ok I guess. We actually got round to telling more people about our engagement which was nice as so many people congratulated us and a teacher from yesterday had even been out to get us a card!! Its nice cus theyve watched us meet, date, move out, and now engaged. They have seen our whole relationship progress. 

so yesterday when I walked into the prep room, I said "it stinks" jack who still had a snotty nose, couldnt smell anything. I thought that maybe it was the usual funk of a school being shut up for 2 weeks. But today I could hear water and it was bothering me. towards the end of my shift I thought id check the freezer (having already used the fridge yesterday) and the freezer was full of water and warm.....it had broke. And the smell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of 2 rotting lambs hearts T^T dear god. So that was the source of the smell. The water was from it dripping and the bottom tray collecting the water and sloshing when we walk by it. so I was helping Jack sort that disgusting thing out. He changed the fuse and left it on to see if it worked. The back got hot but inside wasnt getting cold. So some element had gone. we need a new freezer! but that was grim. Then had to walk in the pouring rain to my car. so that was a sucky hour I have to say!

i dont feel like I got much done of my shift today as everyone kept talking to me and people were talking about weddings to me too, i had the freezer to sort. so yeah not a productive day but I was glad my legs held out. driving home was exhausting tho

got home to find mum had already bought my bunny in, we had lunch then I went to bed for just an hour today. I had a cup of tea with my loaf then I was in the kitchen for many many hours...

i made some treats for me to eat, I made Jack's lunch, I did tonights dinner also. jack came home and I served him dinner, I helped him prep for stew tomorrow morning so yes in the kitchen a long long time. I wasnt able to exercise cus honestly its bad right now. i am also shattered. So I just had a fuss of the bun with Jack, took him to bed and went for a bath.

that was my day

tomorrow

school and flu jab TT^TT dont wanna go >< buts its free as I have asthma so I should make the most of it. But my job also gives free flu vouchers. Flu jabs to buy are like £15! So jack is leaving work a lil early to get home earlier for flu jab cus hes having his also.

blatant begging isnt it

Happy Halloween!

I couldnt sleep last night. My stomach was HUGE, I honestly looked 5 months pregnant. I never let anyone touch my stomach but I let Jack touch it just so he could understand what was going off. It was huge and pressured. He felt it and said "its like a balloon in there!" it was so painful. I felt like stabbing it and letting the gas out. My whole intestine must have been blown up for my stomach to achieve such a growth. My skin felt tight. I was gonna take a photo but I knew if I saw said image, id cry.

So I was up til midnight cus I couldnt lay on my stomach it was soo painful. I waited til I was shattered so I could lay down and conk out right away.

We got up earlier this morning so we could get fuel before school. I didnt feel too bad about school ether. 

I checked my emails and I had the awful email saying I gotta have that absence review meeting >.> pointless exercise thats gonna be!

I did a lot today tho. We told Julia about our engagement too ^^ 

I got my practicals done, I was on good form today actually. I was topping Jack up with coffee to keep him going bless him. He still stayed for war hammer club, course he did

I saw mummy for lunch, she left at 1:30, I went straight to bed, woke up at 3:40. sweet jesus. That was my afternoon gone! so once I got up, I decided to make our salads for dinner and also jack's lunch for tomorrow. I sat and had my dinner with Oz cus I was hungry and I didnt wanna be up and down to trick or treaters during my meal.

I did some bun yoga for 45mins. We had so much time together. I love that bun.

I only had to answer the door 3 times cus we got heavy rainfall on trick or treat night!

last year we had so many children dressed up that we ran out of sweets! so I bought a few packs this year.

1st time answering the door, two young children dressed up with parents 20 metres behind them, all fine and polite

2nd time answering the door, a black 12 year old in hoodie. I answered the door "wheres your costume?" he said "it ripped" i gave him sweets as I couldnt be bothered with that one

3rd time answering the door, 9 13year olds. none of which were dressed up....I gave them sweets cus I didnt want to take the chance of having my house egged.

at that point I decided that that was blatant begging. am I wrong? if it was on any other day of the week and teenagers asked for sweets at your door youd tell em to do one. But on halloween its justified? 

Im not into that. At this point, I took my pumpkin out from the window and turned the lights off at the front door. But it didnt matter as it rained heavily and no one has since come to the door.

dont know if I will bother next year if its gonna be like that. so I now have a lot of sweets left. what a waste and pointless exercise that was.

I am disappointed cus if I am honest, I do like seeing costumes and I remember how much fun I used to have on halloween with my friends dressing up trick or treating.

anyway, I sat with Jack whilst he had his salad, I made a hot chocolate and we watched anime. then I had a hot hot bath.

so I didnt achieve anything with my afternoon annoyingly but I was shattered. cant be helped.

bit of a crappy halloween tho must say

tomorrow is school :/ 

That was October half term

 \evening/

So today is the last day of my October half term T^T

Last night, I was by myself. I sat and painted my nails, watched the first 3 episodes of overlord again, played on my switch in bed til 10pm. Yeah I had a good time by myself actually XD Jack said he came to bed around midnight but didnt sleep well as he couldnt breathe, hes full of cold :(

I got up at 8:30am which was actually 7:30am. But Oz doesnt understand and so had thrown his dish. He doesnt do waiting XD I let Jack sleep in. When I woke up I was straight in that bathroom, a repeat of yesterday morning!

I had a good breakfast~ I made myself a hot chocolate on the stove by warming almond milk, dark chocolate drops and coconut sugar. It was actually pretty good, heck I've had worse from cafes! I drank it along side banana cake~ what a breakfast ^^

I did 50mins of yoga as my legs really really hurt today so I thought this might help them, I thought wrong

I then sat cooking Jack's lunch meat, chicken for 2 meals for us and then Jack helped me with my soup

we had lunch then Jack fell asleep, Oz fell asleep. So I had no choice but to be quiet!

I sat making an account on Transcribeme, reading the everything about the damn sit -____- took me AGES cus I wanna take the 2-3  hour exam and hopefully pass the damn thing (english not being my strong suit) and then transcribe some videos! see if I can earn a bit more money but when I chose. Cus it would be nice to earn more money now that im part time. But theres no way I could work 2 jobs with my health being what it is. So for the last 3 weeks I have been researching these kinda remote jobs that you can do as and when you want. I have told NO ONE. In case it doesnt work out! 

I had a cup of tea outside with my loaf, he likes attention outside

we did the dinner which was salad, thats as most as I am willing to say on topic T^T

then I had awful tummy ache

every damn food I have eaten today be it snack or meal, I have ended up in that bathroom. My stomach is not happy. Why? Im on that damn diet what more does it want!? Right now my stomach is massive, skin stretched, painful, I feel sick and look about 5months pregnant. But nothing comes of it. I just have sit and deal with the pain. Its horrible. I feel sick and dreading taking my last lot of pain killers...I have put it down to nerves about school tomorrow. I am the same everytime after a holiday. My stomach has a nervous disposition I know it does. It's more bothered about school than I am! I have been keeping myself busy all day but my stomach has been hyperfocused on school all day.

I had a good pamper in the bath to burn those aches. My skin came out matching my hair - red

gonna watch anime and go bed

tomorrow is school T^T no fair. Next holiday is christmas holidays too. my worst holiday ugh. Dont wanna go tomorrow! Its also Halloween tomorrow! so I will be wearing a cute outfit~

but been the best holiday this year, we actually went out!!! and of course our engagement 

I just hope Jack is well enough to go school tomorrow so we can tell people together. I wont tell people without him.

Carved Pumpkins

 Evening

I whipped out my weighted blanket last night, forgot how good that sucker is! it felt so good on my aches to have pressure on them. Slept really well, got up once for a wee and that was it

this morning I woke up and straight away had to spend quality time on the toilet. It was awful. Not sure where all that came from. Jack weighed me and said I had lost 0.5kg since last week....he said "youre literally shitting yourself thin" I burst out laughing. He doesnt usually tell me about my weight

We went off shopping anyway, bumped into mum into the car park ^^ she was round the shop a lot with us. We did well shopping, I got new ankle weights ^^ 

Once we were home we unpacked and had a quick sit

then I sat cooking some meat, marinating some meat. Then Jack helped me clean Oz out. I cleaned the bathroom.  We had lunch. God I was done you know! I went to bed for a good hour. It didnt do much good but gave my body rest I suppose.

Once I was up we did a half hour walk as that was all i was up to.

we came in and I made myself and almond milk earl grey tea. Best one I have made. Its with different almond milk but I added more earl grey tea leaves and more sugar, actually made it taste so much better. I might be on to something there. 

We then carved pumpkins! originally Jack was like "I dont want a pumpkin" but then today round the shops he decided he wanted one....when they had zero pumpkins. He picked up a 69p ghost pumpkin. Its tiny. Fits in the palm of your hand. I said "you are gonna have a hard time carving something so small" but he got it. So I had mine which is the size of a large football and he had his mini ghost pumpkin.

I went with a happy goofy look which is different to what I usually go with, Jack on the other hand did so well! its probably his best pumpkin to date! I was very impressed. So they currently are looking at me with candles in.

I made a banana cake to snack on as I finally have dark chocolate drops to put in stuff! I also found a dark chocolate bar I like! so finally I have some 'decent' snacks on my diet.

I did dinner straight after banana cake

dyed my eyebrows and eyelashes. Managed to get dye in BOTH my EYES. jesus christ. Like acid. I was squealing and stamping my foot and pushing  my eyes into my skull. Anything to take the pain away. It luckily only lasts 10 seconds but its 10 agonising seconds

had a bath now doing diary with my lazy loaf who has nothing but frisked me for food today....

I plan to paint my nails later. Jack is gonna go game with Theo so I am by myself. I will then game in bed and hopefully sleep

tomorrow is my last day off....my last day of my holidays.....sad.....

I have plenty of chores to do like 2 lots of meat to cook and my soup to cook as well T^T my weekend to just goes to the house and chores....but I hope to do something for me. I still havent done any art work. I am not even sure what my excuse is.

I got red hair~

 Evening

I couldnt sleep last night, I ached and my stomach was a bit sore to lay on so all in all I could not get comfortable -_____- I was up til 2am cus of course I was

wanting to sod my diet and eat exactly what I want to eat

I just feel so unsatisfied all the time and miss food. No matter how hard I try with recipes the foods just arent cutting it for me. I was watching food videos, imagining what food must taste like. I miss carbs and feeling satisfied and full 

I woke up just before 9am

I didnt bother getting ready. I just ate breakfast and began cleaning the house. Jack didnt need prompting he just got on and joined in which was good of him. I was so dead after all that tho. Jack reminded me it didnt need to be done all in one go but I just wanted it bloody done.

we had a brew then lunch

after lunch I did my experiment! my expensive flours had arrived. Sadly the dark chocolate isnt here yet tho. But I had stuff to work with. I had a recipe for dough but i altered it to make it sweet and such. So  i made sweet chocolate rolls kinda thing. Theyve been the best thing I have eaten on this diet but cus I wasnt sure if it was gonna work, I only made four and ive eaten two! but cus its made with starch and therefor carbs it means hopefully they will give me some energy

mum came over at 2pm to dye my hair. I have red hair. I was washing it and the dye wouldnt stop pouring out! I thought  "did anything take to my hair!?" it washed out purple water, then red, then brown! I got the shower and yup. I AM RED. I swear im redder than on the packet!

we did dinner and had that in pyjamas. I have actually unintentionally had a pyjama day >< 

now I am just with my loaf who is full of beans today. 

I might put some songs on my ipod ready for school. God I cant believe after this weekend I am back at school! where did my holiday go!? its been a good holiday tho

we started watching a new anime today as we finished season4 of overlord. That is a solid series. I can not wait for series 5! I wanna watch the second season of Tonikawa cus its about marriage. But we will watch that one in the evenings after highschool DxD and we will finish that one this week

tomorrow

just food shop and chores T^T