Pokemon 24 hours in + new plant babies!!

 Evening

So last night I achieved a victory. I  have been promised plants for a few weeks now but we've been struggling to find any good ones. Not only that but we've really been having a problem with mould in this house and realised that a breed of plant we have actually helps with mould. So Jack said we could buy MORE. But we were struggling to find them too.

but yesterday in Morrisons I bought 1 huge mother 2 medium size ones (theyre the mould ones) then I found 2 cacti that were so cute and Jack said I COULD HAVE ALL OF THEM!!!! thats £40 worth of plants. It felt like christmas, seriously. I even found a green cushion with a rabbit on it in there!!! so yes this week's shop was a lillll expensive ^^; but it was all stuff we needed and said we would buy. I was so happy, especially as I had been having a rough time lately, it was a treat ^^

we came home and unpacked, got in pyjamas and at 8pm we began POKEMON!!!

we laid in bed playing pokemon, it was nice and what we had been waiting for

I gave in at 11pm, I ran out of concentration and my eyes were stinging. Jack said he stopped just after midnight. Id already fallen asleep. Oh we picked our starters I went for the grass cat I called it Spliffsy and Jack went for the duck. i got mine to evolve last night. I cant remember what Jack named his

This morning, I woke up and almost woke bolt upright literally not knowing what time or day it was. I think it was because when I opened my eyes it was LIGHT. Thats because it was 10am.....10am!!!! Jack wasnt in bed. He got up at 8:30am and was in the lounge with Oz playing pokemon. To me it looked like he had done an all nighter XD he hadnt tho.

So this morning Jack didnt bother having breakfast, I had a lil something to line my stomach for meds but I waited for lunch really

I cleaned Oz out, and then did a bit of weeding in the garden. I cleaned the bathroom, did mine and Jacks lunch. Jack hadnt left his seat still from pokemon. After lunch came the best bit

I laid everything out on the kitchen floor and made true mess...I set my laptop to watch anime on whilst for the next few hours I repotted many plants. In fact I ran out of pots and compost.....but its fine

I was nearing the end but I needed to move and Jack kindly said he would go a walk with me ^^

we got back and had a hot drink then I continued my plants whilst Jack continued yet more pokemon. He helped me clean up my mess cus it was a lot of mess. Then I made a banana cake then I made dinner. Jack broke off from pokemon to eat, went on it after he did the washing up but then I told him to go in the bath. After dinner I marinated meat for tomorrow too.

I am exhausted. I have achieved a lot with my day. I am glad my body is feeling up to doing everything. I just hope I havent over done it today. I wanted to keep the house running and let Jack play. If he wasnt with me he would be playing the game none stop, letting everything fall behind - house work, meals etc but with me around he can play and still function. The game means a lot to him  hes been waiting ages, counting the days. I wanted him to get his initial excitement out kinda thing. I know he would do his weekend chores at some point so I wasnt gonna lecture him and spoil his fun. I wanted him to do what he wanted which was sit for hours gaming. He has thanked me several times for everything and for being amazing, and also told me he will do chores tomorrow bless him

tonight I am gonna paint my nails and then play pokemon. I think I have done 3 hours and Jack had done like 12. Theo is REALLY FAR like I wonder if he has slept. Brandon says hes done 1 gym and is level 30! I am well far behind them all XD

tomorrow

I will be in that kitchen allllllllllllllllll morning. I have A LOT of cooking to do. then I might tackle clothes in my wardrobes, I need to have a BRUTAL clean out. But I will see how I am tomorrow, I hope I havent done too much today.

here is a christmas card I did for my brother~ 

Poorly tummy and new Pokemon Scarlet!

 Evening

I didn't sleep well last due to bad stomach like real bad stomach. I was up til 1am just dying on the toilet. I felt drained of life.

I got up at 6:30am and felt poorly, like death, I staggered to the toilet, did my teeth and went back to bed. Told Jack id work from home and do it later. I wanted nothing more than to be in a coma for a week. id had enough.

I thought id wake up around 8am. no. I could feel myself trying to wake up and seeing glimmers of the clock on the wall but it was like I had been drugged, I couldnt wake up. I was trying and trying. when I was finally allowed out the dream i was having it was 10:30am

10:30am!!! I felt sooo rough. But thats probably due to me not digesting anything including my meds last, and taking todays medication 4 hours late. I was starting to feel panicked because I felt unwell, and it was already 10:30am and I hadnt actually done any work yet!!! I tried to calm myself down but I could my heart hammering and my I was panting. At this point I rang jack. If anything else I wanted to be well for him so we could play new pokemon together

he calmed me down as I think I was on the verge of a panic attack. He said I could work at any point today it was fine. To eat, take my meds, fuss Oz. Yeah he made me feel better

I ate a bit with my meds and had lunch at midday then I worked til 2pm without a break, yeah I was determined to get stuff done! My mum turned up at this point. So I might do some more work over the weekend. Mum came with new pokemon which arrived at 1:50pm. so I texted Jack to say it was here.

Mum stayed for an hour, I ran a bath and did a 15mins work out video and felt better for moving my body, I think after that I wanna get into work out videos again. They had fallen off the page a bit due to poor health but I wanna try again with them even if I dont complete the whole video.

I had a bath, Jack came in and had a bath. We opened Pokemon together. Did dinner, then Jack washed up. We're gonna take Oz home 40mins early to bed then go food shopping

we'll come home, unpack, get into pyjamas and binge pokemon til midnight. My plan! Jack was up for it. Means we can without interruptions

I will still do stuff tomorrow but Jack has said he is having a pyjama day and playing pokemon which is fair enough. 

Oz has been good boy bless him. Being left alone in the living room for 3+ hours this morning! such a good bun.

we finished the second season of science fell in love last night which was good

we're gonna watch second season of cells at work next~

so tomorrow will be pokemon and chores for me 

I really hope pokemon scarlet has been worth the wait! 

flowers mum got us when we got engaged

dont wanna talk

 Evening

I slept a bit better but had a pain in my side that kept waking me up

I found it hard to get up this morning. Like a real effort to even open my eyes

I got ready for school then just before leaving the house I got bad stomach pains. We went to go drop Jack's switch off at my parents house as my brother was off work today and said he would change the joycons on Jack's switch.

we got work and god my stomach. stomach pains. But had to get on with it as I had so many practicals to do ><

I worked hard. I did get a lot done. However, I had a banging headache, couldnt think straight, couldnt get my words out. I was getting frustrated. I told mum to not see me, Id had enough. Couldnt even be bothered to talk to people including Jack. Just the way I felt today

I went home, at lunch with Oz and then went to bed for 2 hours I couldnt be bothered to get up. I wanted to be safe and numb under my covers

I got up, watched anime. Just monged out in front of anime. Had hot chocolate. yeah didnt do much. Just wasnt in the mood. I have no energy.

Jack came home, I did him pizza and made him lunch for tomorrow as well.

we had early baths as my brother was coming over to bring over Jack's switch and he stayed 90mins just catching up. 

going to watch anime and play switchs in bed

tomorrow is pokemon!!! new pokemon!!!!! Im getting scarlet and Jack is getting violet.

New green curtains

 Evening

so yesterday I had a mini heart attack as I started prepping the stew with jack after dinner, he had just been sharpening a knife then went to clean the blade. The next thing I knew, he was jumping up and down holding his finger! I shouted "NO!! you havent have you!?" I was in shock. He turned round so not to face me an examined the 'damage'. by which point, I had already burst into tears. yup. I was just that stable yesterday. Think it was the shock and panic. Turns out it was just like a papercut. Thank god. He had been lucky.

After we had dinner, we had a long talk about stuff to change in the house. Nothing expensive, just getting rid of some furniture and moving other furniture. We are changing the spaces, now we've been in the house 2 years we know what works, how stuff needs to function, what stuff we are needlessly holding on to. So its gonna be a bit of work but we wont do it all at once, just over a few weekends probably. we plan on moving bookcases, upgrading Oz's toilet, getting rid of a wardrobe (clearing out stuff in it we are hording) and getting rid of Jack's alcohol cabinet (he will use another cabinet for his alcohol) 

I had a bad night last night

everything aches, because it was day 2 of not moving my body

my stomach felt awful

I couldnt sleep cus I couldnt get comfy

I was up til 1am and felt utterly wiped out

Jack noticed I came back to bed at 1am and said to me "think you need to work from home tomorrow"

he said this evening that at 1am, I looked ghoulish and then this morning I looked like 'shit' XD yeah....I could tell stuff wasnt good.

If I had gone to school today I would have been pushing  myself and it wouldnt have been kind to myself at all. So I got up with Jack, did the stew, died on the toilet and then went back to bed. 

I had worked throughout the day simply cus it has been physically hard for me to sit at my laptop today so I kept having to break off. Its very annoying as I kinda want to just get my work done you  know

Mum came for lunch still

my curtains arrived this afternoon and after dinner my Jack put them up. I am in love! I am utterly amazed and impressed by them. I am very happy with them and looking forward to putting the other pair up eventually - when they arrive. But we are not putting them up until we have moved the bookcases. I do not want mould growing on my £100 curtains! I was grateful to Jack for putting up the new curtains this evening. Only a 15min job but he chose to do it instead of saying he was tired and do it at the weekend. He is also pleased with them

Oz has been in such an affectionate mood all day today. Both of us have had so much love from him. We love that bunny to pieces. I was watching Oz lick Jack's arm whilst Jack brushed him, whilst I was doing yoga. They love doing mutual grooming and i love watching it! my 2 boys ^^

So yes I did manage 45mins of yoga, well done me, feel a bit better for it

2 more sleeps til pokemon~

tomorrow

its school and I hoping I can go. I have sugar solutions to make up and i wanna do it. So I best have a better night tonight

Anxiety attack first thing in the morning, ordered new curtains!

 Evening

I did sleep better last night

but I was a mess this morning, I was anxious AF. struggled to get off the toilet, stomach felt knotted so sat with hot bag travelling to school, shed a few tears on the way to school. Walking into school I had an anxiety attack. My breathing was awful. Youd put me down if I was dog. So I was on the floor recovering. It did a real number on me. i dont feel I even got my lungs back to normal for the remainder of my shift, despite using my inhaler 5 times ><

Jack almost bought me home and was gonna work from home but I insisted I would be fine driving. And I was. I had got my shift done and got home. I need to give myself credit sometimes. My body is going through a lot and not absorbing my meds, I dont think I got much out my antidepressant as it felt like I very much couldnt cope with the day but I did it!

I had lunch with mum then slept for 2 hours

once up I ordered the curtains I was looking at yesterday and some much better quality ones for the living room window. Spent £145 on curtains T^T money we didnt have when we first moved in and bought cheap curtains. So I have thermal, black out ones on the way!

I then had a brew with Oz, prepared dinner for when Jack comes in I can just put it on.

got stew to prep and not sure what else as I am pretty dead

tomorrow is school, I hope to have a better day at school tomorrow and not an anxiety attack

Up til 3am looking at curtains

 Evening

ughhhh I was up til 3am T^T couldnt sleep, had stomach ache and Jack was breathing. I was up looking at curtains as Jack still wants me to magic up curtains for the living room. Yes we could get some made to measure for our patio door but its like £200+ and I dont honestly wanna spend that on some curtains

this morning I didnt feel too rough. But then once my meds kicked in I felt very tired. On the plus side I got to wear what I wanted for school so that was nice

I was mainly by myself at school but I got a fair amount of stuff done. I did notice towards the end of my shift that my legs were hurting tho >< I was disappointed as we went to the shop before school for some plant babies but sadly they didnt have any so we didnt even bother going round the shop. That was the highlight of my bloody day so I was disappointed

I got home and had lunch with mum and loaf. Oz frisked for everything he could get >.> such a pest that bun. I went to bed for 2 hours. I felt no better for that sleep tho I gotta say :/ 

once I was up I made some biscuits and started on dinner really. 

I had another look for curtains but still nothing really. It is hard

I havent done any exercise today but I have zero zero energy. Jack told me to just have a rest day. I just feel SO guilty doing that tho. But I guess no use pushing myself?

tomorrow is school >< and  my nails

Not absorbing my meds

 It's monday tomorrow T^T 

the weekend is always too short

I couldnt sleep last night, I had tummy ache and just couldnt get comfortable

So i got up for a bit and stuff, but only til like 11:30pm

I woke up at 9am and found both my boys in the lounge

I felt awful. Honestly really bad. Like I had woken up on the wrong side of the bed. My head felt a real mess. I ached too. I warned Jack that my head was a mess and to excuse any bad behaviour. I hated the way I felt. As soon as I woke up, I was in the bathroom, I ate breakfast and ran to the toilet again. 

So I worked out, the reason I felt the way I did - was because I had literally not absorbed my medication. I decided to take extra pain killers and extra anti depressant. And oh my god. The difference. I felt so much more myself. Such a relief. Think I would have had a very different day if I hadnt have taken that antidepressant.

I spent a good 30mins in the ball position on my bed. Getting rid of my tummy ache

so Jack helped me make my soup this morning and we had lunch

then after lunch jack was going round the house killing mould on the ceilings. We suffer from mould in this house. But the mould spray STINKS it smells like strong ass bleach and I personally cant stand the smell of bleach. So that spray is literal Jo-repellent. I went outside. It was too much. Even now at 8:30pm my house stinks still. Its slowly going, we had windows and doors open even in this cold weather.

I went outside and did some gardening with Oz, there was some big weeds that has been annoying me for like 3 weeks now. I found this therapeutic, I kept Oz outside cus the smell would burn his whiskers off.

we then went for a walk.

we came in and had a brew

then Jack measured up for curtains in the living room, mould has savaged the curtains and we need new ones but we had a very odd size. so I looked and looked online but no luck. I will keep looking

I made dinner  which was pancakes, two types as I have special pancakes. We were both so full

today, oz did something I kept saying to Jack will happen....he humped Jack! Yes!  I knew he would! he does it out of love not dominance but it was still so funny. Jack walked away from him, Oz got rejected bless him.

tomorrow is school. Ugh. soon comes round.

But its insec day so no kids and get to wear what I want. I have a cute outfit lined up~  

just hope I dont have another bad stomach morning