Konbanwa~
Another warm day but not as bad as wednesday
for the past 2 evenings it has cooled down
which is much a relief, the pets can play out~
Today I have been sewing my quilt~
Its coming along well
My mum is still poorly, so I have been cooking the dinners
i have enjoyed making the dinner and feeling useful
I had the office to go to
I stayed there a while to talk with everyone and see who
was attending training next week and camps~
It was fun to see everyone Dan was still annoying
and Seth's little thing he shows me this week was a math sum
i had to work out - but my brain was fried so david did it - the answer
will always be 4 1/2 and he put the answer on the table in the form
of 4 pennies and half a penny
they laughed as i found a sawed penny more fascinating
than the fact that Seth knew my answer would 4 1/2 XD
He brought his huge bubble kit
my god they were huge and wobbled like lily's tummy
i was dying to pop them and he let me so i was doing
some serious karate style kicks on them babies XD
so i had a fun time really, its always simple, but i always try
and make the room shine with my presence~
I have been reading outside a lot today
with my beloved Kindle
I really enjoy just sitting and reading in the garden with tiffin
sniffing my feet and wanting attention
I was doing Yoga in the garden last night and he was going
underneath me and leaning up at me
i can see why i dont bring him to class XD
I uploaded a dance which seems to have gone down
very well with people, im glad since it took a lot of time
to learn and a lot of effort to make~
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UznPAebKzWM
Tomorrow it is the Gedling Gala
Our village's little festival which has been going since 1977
i believe which was the Queen's coronation
I like to go with friends, kills a couple of hours in the afternoon
so im meeting with helina and mia and their boys at 1:00pm
should be fun, but what should I wear!?
mate ne
Good Day
Thank god today is cooler~
Apparently yesterday's heat wave caused a lot of people's small pets
to die D: shocking! I am so very grateful I still have all mine
they were so hot yesterday tho
I let Tiffin play out til 9:30pm simply because he was unable
to play out all day
Today I had reflex at 9:30am
So I headed off to Karen's~
She said her pond had turned into a jacuzzi with the heat
and so lost more 15 fish!! They hadnt realized it had heated the water up
so they tried to save as many as they could! awful
I was a lil annoyed as my feet gave me away...she looked at the and without
even touching she said "have you been feeling down lately?"
damn my feet!! I have no idea how she can tell that just by looking
at my feet but then she has been doing reflexology for about 10 years
so we talked and I talked about things I never speak of
the thought in my head
We came to the conclusion that I am having Anorexic thoughts...
Her daughter has suffered with Anorexia for 5+ years
so Karen knows just a thing or too about the condition
I think she was quite shocked to hear just what goes off in this head of mine
im at war with myself all day long
I told her I had attempted to come off anti-depressiants and it turns out I need em
there for I have depression
why cant I just have a normal mental state
I tried to talk to mum about it she called me mad =.=
I fight my head everyday i just fear the day im too weak to fight
the thoughts and go along with them
I will not get poorly again I will not go down that route
I must fight!!! I just want my head on my side damn it >.>
anyway came home and took mum to the doctors
as she still isnt feeling well, they think she has a water infection
so i have been tending to her needs today :)
I have been sewing my quilt anime blanket and its looking
really good I cant wait to see it on my wall!
We skipped yoga last night, I was feeling 100%
and mum was poorly, the weather was roasting
so we gave it a miss, we never miss yoga class tho ><
Tomorrow I have got to go to the office, woopie
a chore I hate doing I have to say
I shouldnt complain really
Other people have to travel further than me to get there
Id like to do some dancing but room is very hot =.=
Atsui nee~
Jeez it's hot today!!
35c!!! 35 degrees!! Insane
I can not remember the last time it was this hot here
and it just leaped up from the low 20's to 30's! shocking!
My pets looked dead...seriously collapsed
so we have had a fan on them today and changing their water
giving them cold foods from the fridge (carrot, apple)
Poor things
They play outside first thing in the morning and late evening
doing all we can for them
Today I woke up to found I slept on the outside of my bed sheets XD
I must have looked a right state haha
I had to get up and motivated tho as pets needed to go out ASAP
and I needed to be out the house for 8:15am
normally at 8:15am im having breakfast!
Me and mum arrived in the city
for my "interview assessment" basically i applied for a benefit
a benefit that helps those who are sick/disabled but are trying to work
I am worse of financially working than was on sick benefit a year ago
and it doesnt seem fair somehow as im doing my best
but currently if i was to work longer hours, slowly id make myself poorly again
and i will not see that happen
money isnt everything but its worth a shot, i have nothing to lose
So we went in this building that seemed to have
air conditioning, apart from the room we had the 1 hour assessment in....
god i was dripping and i couldnt understand a word the woman was saying
she had such a strong accent!
we left after we had melted in our seats to go home
I stitched 3 more panels onto my quilt its gonna look amazing when its done
I had work which was stupidly hot that school cant be legal
i saw the kids come through i said
"have you poured water on you head?"
kid "no"
"oh youve just had P.E.?"
"no"
jesus they looked that hot like they had ran a marathon in the heat
i felt so sorry for them that they had been stuck in here 6 hours
trying to concentrate in this heat and i had to add an extra to their day
but they enjoyed it and got a lot out of it
I had a well earned shower as I was dripping
i had even, for the first time ever, not worn my lab coat during class
its too hot just too hot
tonight i would like to sleep
We are not going yoga as mum is still poorly and
im feeling off myself and what with this heat
i feel like id only pass out
so im unfortunately giving it a miss!
oh here's my lovely new Whitby lights
Hot Day Today!
Think today was the hottest day of the year for England
28c =.= i hate the hot weather
i mean i like warm weather but not hot weather
I just feel sorry for the pets as its them who suffers
they cant take their coats off
or play out whilst the sun is strong in the garden so they have to
wait all day before they can play out
its too warm to have them in the house
so they have been playing outside first thing in the morning
and in the evening time
The flags I made
What could I possibly need a red & blue flag for?
the video that explains why~
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uyk6UsUsjD8
I had such fun XD
Today I still felt off, and mum wasn't feeling well ether
I helped her with going to do food shopping but it did me in
i havent done an awful lot today
but I have started my anime quilt wall hanging!
I have stitched 2 panels down ^^
Arranging it took a while
I slept for 2 hours and so did mum
it was nice just having a peaceful house
Tomorrow I have an appointment in the city at 9:25am
going to be lovely getting in to the city at that time
still at least its early and the buses wont be 1000c XD
Im not looking forward to it tho!
I also have work tomorrow
that classroom is stupidly hot
i dont want to go! i'll sweat in that lab coat of mine!!
mate ne~
Ahoy~
Excuse the absence of my blog yesterday but I was out all~ day ><
So today's blog may be a lil' long XD
Yesterday I had to get up at 6:45am 0.0 i was grouchy but excited
I hadnt slept well due to pain but i couldnt wait for the day ahead
My dad took me to Asda carpark at 7:45am where the coach was
It took a while to get there think we arrived at Whitby at 11:30am
we had 1 stop off which I was very grateful for!
It rained on the way there, but as soon as we got into Whitby it stopped
and slowly cleared up :D lucky lucky
So my venture with Lynn in Whitby started~
As you can see it was still a lil over caste when we got there
we went for lunch, I had jacket spud I treated Lynn to lunch seeing as she treated
me to the whole trip!
went around several shops and the market
and we started walking the 199 steps to the Abbey, I had told Lynn that it kills
me off so I didnt think she could do it
she made it up 25 steps to a bench then we turned round
nice view tho
I saw a cafe with the same name as my bunny!!
this was a piece of cake I could honestly die for
I have never had chocolate cake like it!
It came warm and the chocolate icing on top had melted
it had bit of chocolate and fudge on top, amazing
the cafe was lovely I even got blue berries in my water with lemon and a cool straw
I like the decor too, so different and quirky
we walked down the pier and when we got to the end we
sat in the breeze and talked about mental health
strange thing to talk about i know but we both suffer
and I learned from her about anti-depressiants and how lightly
i had been treating my situation. i had been stupid
so yeah it was a beautiful day
I could not believe the weather
oh and I picked up a few bits too. I got cakes from the bakery my family likes
I got a 99p angel to add to karen's christmas present
£1 bow necklace from charity shop
£1 vintage old silver bow brooch (its on my coat and looks amazing!)
£2.99 key chain of the were bunny i collect
I have the mug already but i brought the key ring and the incense sticks yesterday
I got a bunny ornament I have a black and a white one already
they sit on my canvases
And Lynn randomly brought me this glass bunny :D she so kind to me! ><
Lastly I got these flower lights for £19.99
now these I about had a heart attack for
for the last 6+months I have been searching for bedroom lights
But all they ever are are damn battery powered!!! I dont want to mess around with
changing batteries all the time. I looked at outdoor solar lights but they were ether
too expensive or too gardeny so to find these were a god send
I snapped them up straight away I got pink, naturally :3
I have wrapped them around my metal frame headboard on my bed
looks amazing!
We arrived back at Asda at 8:20pm it still felt a bit surreal that I had been
to whitby and back in a day
I had such a lovely time I truly did and being with Lynn was good
she enjoyed it as much as I did
There is a 2 night trip to Isle of Wight during the autumn months
I plan to go with Lynn and her husband may come too
I have never been, they have and said its beautiful
I wish to see these places. for 2 nights accommodation, half board and travel=
£155.....£155 thats crackin' value!!! I am soo going!!!
so thats something Im putting name down for and looking forward to
I got home and Tiffin waited patiently for me to get him out his cage
he sat all nicely because he wanted to come out and see me
thats truly a lovely feeling, mum had let him out to play half the day
so i wasnt concerned about his well being but he still like MY attention
so I sat with him for a good 40mins he sat the entire time on my lap!
Went to bed had nightmares, lovely, so i didnt sleep well
I was shattered and ached everywhere like I had done during the day
so today I have been LAZY im not gonna lie I have been lazy
I even slept during the day for 2+ hours!! just so tired
Mia wanted to see me and I did say yes even tho i hinted i was feeling great
but talking it over with mum i had to let mia down i was just done in
I did a tiny bit of dancing, i havent eaten much today, i have sorted
out my things from yesterday and been on my laptop
tomorrow im not sure what im doing!
Any way excuse the length of this blog!
Good Day Minna-san~
Jozu here~
Today I had a really lovely day, simply but I seemed to have
enjoyed every minute of it
And I refuse to believe its because of the antin-depressiants I started yesterday
no, I am just in a good mood thats all :)
This morning I cleaned out all the pets~ I was a good job done
and I was happy that I was able to do it for Mum as she usually
cleans lily and pinky out and has been doing the little ones too
despite me saying "i'll do them!" she always does them >,<
I did whack my hand very badly it made me yell out but i didnt swear
Jozu never swears or curses ^^
but the pain was going from my hands to my finger tip
very painful now i have a lump and a gash >.>
it'll heal
Then I went straight on to making biscuits for tomorrow's trip
they didnt take me long at all
then I was still in the kitchen preparing the evening's BBQ meat
then I finally had a sit down XD
but doing all that was good for me
I sorted out a few bits for work and other bits
I had to leave for a birthday party at 1:15pm
I got there fine and saw Seth
It was probably the best birthday party i have done simply because
Seth insisted to train me up so i got to a lot more than i usually do
at birthday parties, the main one being I was in charge of the candy floss machine!!!
Yes I got to use it and serve it out ^^ I helped with other things
that made me feel useful instead of just being an assistant
He said I need to have more confidence in myself
which I know I do when it comes to work ><
but it was so nice to be taught by a man and not be insulted,
made to feel stupid, get annoyed, talked down by, patronized
as this is how i was brought up with my dad
its quite surreal to have a man being so nice to me whilst being taught
I came home and did a bit of dancing straight away
and hoola hooping outside too which was nice~
I also re-potted my bedroom plant; the one I rescued at a
garden center on Mother's Day, i brought a new pot for it yesterday
I added buttons on top for extra decoration~
I cooked the BBQ for my family and brother's girlfriend too
Now Im just on here and gonna retire for the night with my pets
and my book, after I have sorted out my things for tomorrow
as tomorrow I am going to Whitby!!!!!
freakin' Whitby! I am so happy
I am going with Lynn and her and husband have paid for me to go ><
Ive baked some cookies for us and I want to buy her lunch as a thank you
I have to be at the coach for 7:45am tho ><
Konbanwa minna-san
Today I uploaded a dance I feel like I have been working
on for ages now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFtdAtLcCU8
feels good to get it done and to say i only uploaded it
a few hours ago it already has 50 views ^^
Today I sat and drew this morning
Im drawing a yoga picture for my yoga teacher Karen-san
shes lovely and I just want to do it for her
im not that far yet as I havent been able to do any more
since this morning ><
Then I had lunch outside and went out with mum
we went to the same shops as I went to with Mia yesterday :/
a bit annoying but I knew it was coming XD i dont mind really
then we went to the office and I knew I was gonna be quick this
week as I only needed one box, I also got told I can do
a 2 hour bday party tomorrow so I took the job ^^
It was nice to see everyone
Seth-san was showing me this really random game which im so gonna google
"petals of the rose"
bazaar game I couldnt understand and nether could Dan
Dan I told him "your quiet this week"
Dan "you think so?"
Me "year cus last week you were really irritating"
me and my big mouth
i turned round grabbed my box and went to walk to my car
when i was getting tickled and jabbed by Dan!!!! infuriating man!
how the hell did he know i was ticklish damn it =>.<=
then from there we went to a home store and picked up some bits
mainly for the garden but we also got new yoga mats
they are like luxury, they are soooooo padded so they feel much better on the bones
Mine is pink mum's is grey
then I came home and rested and went out for a walk with mia
she wanted a walk i really really couldnt be bothered
but i said to myself " dont be a fat lazy girl and go!! dont let mia down"
i was tired tho my legs hurt >.> we talked mainly about yesterdays walk with helina...
now Im home just sorting a few bits out on my laptop
and id like to draw but i havent danced properly lately
so i need to practice for next week!
Oh and as of today I am back on anti-depressiants......so no happy right now
i managed to come off them for 2 weeks but im started to crack
im not coping i know im not and i have told mum this a few times
and this morning she said
"i could tell you werent coping, your not the same person your awful,
and i wanted to tell you but i knew how much it meant to you coming
off tablets but i think you need them, i was gonna wait til you broke
but i thought til would be too late by then"
yeah cus i am at breaking point soon
so i gave in and took my pills. I HATE NEEDING MEDICINE
but im becoming my true self which is a horrible person
i am naturally a horrible spiteful selfish person
learning that thats how i am isnt nice and i decided to change myself
as i was upsetting my family, well what can i say - i take after my dad
so i bottle it up and put on a different persona, one people like
but when i am not feeling mentally strong my persona comes
crumbling down to revel the ugliness inside
so i need to be strong for the sake of those around me
oh and here's my lamp by the way~
