Evening
I did not sleep well
I got up at 2am cus I had woke up and was aching and it was starting to make me feel sick
so I grabbed a hot chocolate and chilled out a bit
then slept on top of my duvet in my dressing gown
but it was a restless sleep at best
did not want to go to school today
I went to get my Ozwald as usual
and he was at the back of his cage, very odd. usually he's at the front waiting for me
so I picked him up and he was floppy but tried to tense himself up
i just knew he wasnt well
i just know
i know my bunnies
so I brought him through to the sofaa where i placed him down carefully and he literally collapsed out and started panting, adjusting himself and panting
i felt sick
i cant bare seeing my pets sick
so i sat and ate my breakfast quickly not that i tasted it
then i grabbed my dad who was up and got him to hold Oz whilst i syringe fed him some water he did not appreciate this and tried to break free
but i felt better knowing he'd drank
i took him home instead of letting him outside
i went up to tell mum i cried a bit just cus i couldnt cope what with Oz and being tired
I told her i want regular updates and if he doesnt look good by 12 im coming home to nurse him
i reluctantly left for school >.>
I got there for normal time and there wasnt really many people there
which was nice actually
i just sat and drew and painted whilst listening to my ipod
then everyone started piling in -___-
there was to be a 40min talk in the hall
and what with aching and not being in the right frame of mind i told jack i wasnt attending
he said it was fine
and came back and said it was totally not relevant to us anyway which i knew it wouldnt be
then 2 technicians from other schools turned up and thats when jack practically sat chatting all sodding day, me and julia worked on
it came to lunch and mum said that Oz had chosen to play out with the girls and was foraging for leaves and other dead greenary so i felt a bit relieved
my worry was that he'd not left his hutch and was in pain
but hearing him up and moving around was a good sign
Jack had brought me soup for lunch saying that he doubted there was anything i could eat from the school cafe (we get free meals on insec day) turns out he was right so i was grateful of the soup
but i was sure to rob a cookie from the cafe X3
i worked through half my lunch so i could get home quicker to Oz
i faffed with bacteria and ive secretly brought some home to have a go with
not sure how well it work and i feel i may have wasted my time pouring out 40 bacteria plates but i will have time to do fresh ones on monday i hope
we did my appraisal which i left jack to finish as i wanted to get home to Oz he was more important
i got back and got to Oz and he was still in pain i could tell
and still hadnt eaten his treats or carrot from this morning
but he wasnt panting and even gave me some licks
i took him home and went to the dentist for a check up
i was seen by a dental nurse who was in my year at school small world as it is
my teeth were fine so i was happy
i came home and played kirby did one level and then had dinner
after dinner i got Oz in again
and was happy to see he'd eaten half his carrot and both his treats ^^
he was also able to sit up but i could tell he was still tensing up and doesnt like being held still
but i think he will be alright
rabbits get this its almost like an air lock in their stomach
i will see him again before i go bed
so grateful my baby boy is alright
dont know what id do if i lost him hes just so perfect
even if he is a glutton X3
I went for a walk to try chill out a bit
just come in and i will have a shower to get rid of the smell of bacteria nutrient broth out my skin i hate the smell so much
im gonna do my nails as well
tomorrow think im seeing jack? who knows
we didnt celebrate valentines day but I did do this photo for him before school
with my new kirby plush! look at the sheer size of him!! X3 even my brother likes him and he doesnt agree with my plush collection XD
thank god its half term now, i need a break from science and to recover from working
Evening~~
I had it easy yesterday morning
I had a blood test at 10:30am so I took my time in the morning
cleaned my Ozwald out not that he had any time for me XD
Mum took me to the blood test they were running half hour late -____-
and it wasnt my usual nurse ether
but surprisingly I coped! I did not pass out!
I was aware of every damn second
and there was a spare room where I could recover too
so yeah fairly good as things go :)
I got home and ate the house out of food whilst I fully recovered
had a shower and got my stuff ready to stay over at jack's
I got into school for when Id usually have my lunch
I found those few hours tough to be honest
jack said I could have got away with not coming in but im not like that
after work i went to jack's
we popped out to the shops for food then came back and did food
well jack did food i was too exhausted
as we finished eating theo came in
and we all sat playing on our switch's like nerds
i cant play for as long as them tho i have a short attention span
i looked at the time and it was only 8pm but i could have quite happily have gone to bed
i was sooooo dead
so i got ready for bed and sat with jack and theo really watching theo play his switch on the tv he was playing fire emblem which is a battle game but also has some dating on the side, i enjoyed the 3DS version and seems theo is enjoying this one, everything the characters said he made out to be sleazy and it was making me laugh especially the voices he puts on
eventually i went to sleep as love island came on tv and its utter trash
jack came to bed after he'd finished watching it
i did not sleep well at all
i ached really bad
i was tossing and turning and waking up
i cant remember the last time i had a night that bad in pain
its how it used to be years ago
i thought "how did i cope for years like this every night without going insane?"
so i was shattered this morning
i got ready for school still
but i felt really sick before my medication for some reason
and then once i had taken my meds i felt really bad
i was on the sofa and i wasnt sure whether to stay at jacks, go home or go school
jack motivated me into going to school and said i could always go home
we got to school
and i found the whole day tough to be honest
it was just such an ask on my body
but i did the practicals i wanted to do
and at the end of the day i did some painting whilst listening to jpop
as id had enough of science and hearing about science
i got home and was so dead
just like a zombie
i still had a brew with Oz
my kirby plush came!!
my god its huge, very soft and very cuddly
i am very pleased with it
i havent told jack i actually got one X3 ill send him a photo tomorrow morning
i have my physio exercises to do...booo
and i want to have some time to play kirby too
Ive had little moments of hearing things that arent there
i sat on the prep room floor and watched my stitch plush keychain move it's paw
ive seen red worms in the air change to blue and disappear
originally i wasnt going to tell anyone of my madness
but i told mum she put its down to tiredness which it probably is
i hope it is anyway
tomorrow is insec day at school
im going in at normal time of 8am whereas we've been told we can start at 9am
im gonna sit and paint
its gonna be such a long and dull day
but hey its non-uniform woo too comfort!
then i have dentist at 4:45pm >.>
then i can do what i like
even tho its valentines day me and jack arent doing anything for it
nether of us are arsed or feel the need to take part in the money grabbing holiday
Evening~~
Well last night I realised I had not taken any of my medication
and by which point it was far to late to take my morning's dosage
so I waited an hour and took my night's normal dose
mum wasnt impressed and I told jack too
I only had a headache but apart from that felt pretty fine
so I took my dosage and went to bed
I couldnt sleep I felt very very sick
and in the end at 11pm I got for a hot chocolate and a biscuit
I went to bed at 11:45pm
had an awful nightmare consisting of me screaming trying to get my paralysed body off my bed and to scream loud enough for someone to hear and wake me up. then i could walk. i walked to my mums room and literally used my nails and tore at her til she was dead on the bed
blood everywhere she screamed the whole time
i was told to step back and look at what i had done
then to place my hand upon the wall and i watched how the wall lite up with blood, veins, arteries
at this point i woke up
thank god as that was disturbing
my heart was pounding i was sweating
it was only 12:30....i was hardly sleeping for long!
i thought my phone was ringing, no
thought i could hear a radio, no
i looked around
and thats when the hallucinations started
i sat up right and was freaked out by what i could see
told myself none of it was real and looked away
but it wasnt going
and my heart was going out of rhythm and i felt unwell
i wanted to go wake mum up just in case i really wasnt well
but i didnt dare move from my bed
i knew there was hands on my floor waiting to grab me
there was hands waving at the window
really freaky
by a stroke of luck the outdoor light was triggered on and lite my entire room up
at that point as i could clearly see everything i made a run for it to my mums room
woke her up and cried telling her i wasnt well
she came downstairs with me and made me another hot chocolate
and i calmed down
she said i was white and looked really sick
i told her i was not going school in the morning as im dead and now wondering what my next dose of medication will do to me
i told her i was just gonna sit with the tablet and watch stuff then eventually go to bed
i didnt go to bed til 3:30am as i couldnt face it
i sent jack a message to say i wasnt going to be in today
i knew he'd see it when he woke up
i woke up at 9am
mum said i didnt look good
jack had left a message saying he'd rang in for me and to give him a txt to let him know i was awake and how i was doing
mum said i needed to take my morning medication
she brought it in with a drink and popped off food shopping
i fell asleep without having anything
she came home at 11am and said i hadnt drank anything or eaten anything or had my tablets
she said i was sickly looking and motivated me
i took my meds and felt awful for having them
but tried eating the food she gave to me
i laid in bed playing kirby and eventually got up for a shower at 2pm
mum kindly took me to my physio appointment as i was not fit to drive
the guy was really impressed with my improvement
he said he could tell i had been working hard
and tested my hip strength and said how much it had improved
ive got to continue with my exercises for a few weeks
then he'd like for me to go to the gym during working hours...so ive got to talk to school and see if i can play hooky in the gym for 6 weeks its only 6 hours
he said he'd like for me to do some weight training to improve further as ive worked so hard
mum brought me home and i made some biscuits
then sat with my Ozwald
then went back to bed i was exhausted even tho id done nothing
now ive had dinner and i need to do todays physio exercises
not sure what else i will do as i havent got to get stuff ready for the morning as i can actually have a lay in tomorrow! I have a blood test at 10:30am.....dear god its gonna be awful
its not my usual nurse ether and im not feeling well so ill probably pass out
then ill come home and shower and recover and try and get to work
jack has asked i sleep over even if i dont get to work
i told him i wouldnt be up to much and he said that was fine
so thats tomorrow
im having a blood test to test my thyroid as i think its outta whack
just dont want it
think mum is already stressing about taking me
just hope i get back to how i was quickly
cant believe the damage of not taking my meds tho
i thought maybe my body was stupid weak but jack said its probably more a case of my medication being so strong and plenty of it...
stupid meds i hate them
Konbanwa~~
I didnt sleep well but I put that down to the wind outside
my god the amount of damage that wind did
luckily all we had was a broken fence panel
I got up for school half in a daze i think this morning
The traffic was bad still, due to the closed road somewhere
it was grid locked
so i texted jack to let him know
i looked beside my car and saw one of the english teachers from school
i waved to her and she waved back we pulled faces at each other
behind us was another teacher
all in the same boat
so it once again took an hour to get to school
school was quite busy which i prefer
and i knew i had tuesday and wednesday to prep as i am going home tuesday lunch and coming back wednesday lunch so it doesnt leave a lot of time to prep and i dont want to leave jack with much to do from my side
i looked and i havent had much practicals for the last 2 weeks
the day im gone and theres 3 XD
guess who that falls to....
i broke the news to him gently XD
to be honest he was grouchy all day even when id made him his morning coffee
but a lot was annoying him like a lot of physics equipment breaking and he has to fix it or buy new ones both take ether time or money or both
but it was very much like he'd woken up on the wrong side of the bed today
i tried cheering him up best i could but i felt like i was grating on his patience today ><
i probably wasnt but thats how i felt ><
it was all weathers today
it went from
rain
to sleet
to hail
to snow
sending the kids crazy at school
but it was our first snow for 2020 which was nice in a way
it always snows round my birthday
i left on time and it took me an hour to get home
a sodding hour...
grid locked
this damn road is suppose to be back in action on wednesday
id had enough and i was starving too
so ive spent 2 hours in the car today -____-
i got home and ate loads
i sat with Ozwald
who mum said enjoyed the snow X3
she had to get him in in the end as it was getting to cold and wet but he wasnt showing signs of wanting to get warm and dry
i went up to the shed for him and noticed all his footprints in the snow X3
i played on Kirby
decided i needed a plush of him
i saw massive plushies of him at the convention in october but jack talked me out of getting one cus he didnt want to face my mum's wrath as she says i have too many and not to buy anymore
after dinner
i found a plushie online cus of course i did X3
a lot cheaper than convention too
so i showed mum she agreed it was cute and i said i was thinking of getting rid of some old ones that no longer look nice as theyre like 15-20 years old
so i ordered kirby and threw out 4 plushies
i did 45mins of yoga to stretch out all the driving
i went to grab a drink and suddenly realised...i hadnt had any of my medication today....
i usually take 10 tablets in the morning and they were still there....
oops
i told mum she was not impressed
i offered to double dose to make up for it
she was not impressed with that ether it would seem
but yeah quite surprised how well ive coped with out them
ive had a cracking head ache since i drove home but i thought it was stress from driving
withdrawal obviously
i do not suffer with headaches usually
i shall make sure to have some meds tonight i guess
maybe i can live without them
tomorrow is school
i have that damn traffic to contend with in the morning -____- i left early too this morning and it made no sodding difference
im coming home around lunch time as i have my physio appointment to attend
Yo!
28 Year Old Jo here~~~~
It has been a good weekend ^^
Friday
I started my day with porridge which made a nice change
I had school
I was kept busy and I helped Julia by making up 15 litres of hydrochloric acid up
thats a lot of acid~ and I felt so confident doing it too, not compared to when I first started working with acids
I got the cake out and everyone had some during break and lunch
people said I do not look 28 XD
Jack brought me cookies and i ate a few of those, but tried the cake and it did hurt my stomach
I brought Jack home with me and we had biscuits mum made for me
I opened up my gifts and cards which might I say this year were all heavily rabbit themed! X3
it was like everyone had decided this was to be a bunny year :3
mum brought me a massage voucher, a mini cactus, pyjamas, joggers, a bunny plate and bowl
Karen brought me a bunny cake plate
Tara brought me a bunny tea pot and a bunny mug
My brother gave me £20
we went to jack's and I opened my gifts from him
he got me 2 bath bombs to use at his, a geeky tour book of japan as he told me he still wants to go, and some chocolates from the chocolate shop we like going to
then we went out to for Pizza
I had bbq base, sausage, chicken, bacon, sweetcorn and i damn well did eat it all
we got back and some people had already started arriving for theo's night out
i for one could not be doing with that
i was far too tired and my stomach hurt a lot from pizza
so i laid curled up in a ball on jack's bed
he found me and stayed with me all night
we were hoping they would all sod off as they were getting loud and drunk
they didnt leave til like midnight....i was so tired
so i didnt fall asleep till like 1am
got up the next morning and got ready to go sherwood pines
i had told jack we were meeting mia rob and walt there
luckily we all got there at a similar time and we went for an hour's walk in the woods which was nice as we had lovely weather, then we sat in the winter sun having a picnic so i enjoyed myself.
mia brought me a massive selection of teas and a very cute rabbit mug
see rabbits again X3
we left and i went back to my house to see my ozwald and to grab a few bits
we went back to jack's and we went to the shops were i brought my switch!
i got the yellow switch lite i wanted ^^
we came back and made food well jack made food i played on HIS switch on pokemon with harvey and theo which was nice, just sat sandwiched between them on the sofa
after me and jack ate the 4 of us went out for dessert as i didnt get round to cookie dough the night before due to crippling stomach pain
as we walked down the street from jack's flat
there was people walking around and then a group of men on bicycles came down the road fast, came on the pavement and they looked my age
one clipped the elbow of a guy walking with his wife like 5 metres from us
he said "oi watch it"
the cyclist stopped dead and said "you what?"
and at this point everyone including us stopped dead watching
they pushed at one another til the cyclist took his bike seat off quickly and whacked the guy in the face with it, he went down to the floor, his wife screaming
the cyclist and his gang road into the night, people rang the police
the guy got up with blood down his face
this happened on the corner of a pub, the pub landlord came out and invited the guy and his wife in
we left
it disgusted me
humans are such foul creatures
there was no need for any of that
i was quiet for the walk to the dessert place
jack said "are you alright?"
i was but i had a lot on my mind
like that could have been any of us, that guy could have died, my brother is on his bike all the time what if he bumped into a gang like that, life is precious and humans are awful
we got to the dessert place and i had cookie dough and custard it was bloody amazing and we went with theo and harvey we all had something different
we all walked back to the flat
i had stomach ache walking back and died when i got to jacks it was very bad
but i knew what would happen
i was in bed for 10:30pm id had enough
woke up this morning at 9:15am late for me and i think i needed the sleep
i was having vivid dreams also
i had a lazy morning
i fell asleep after breakfast and i even had a bath with a bath bomb
had lunch with jack then left
came home to my girls trotting in and out the kitchen whilst i did my food for the week
then i sat with my Ozwald
fell asleep for 2 hours
think im just shattered from doing so much over the birthday weekend
but it has been really good i have enjoyed it and im grateful for everything everyone did for me
it felt good to celebrate it as i think after everything i go through i deserve to be happy and live it up how i want to sometimes
so its been a good birthday ^^
its 8:40pm i have my physio exercises to do
Oz to see
nails to paint
then bed
school tomorrow
5 days to go before a week off!!
Evening
My god I have been sooooo tired
Work has been alright
i have just really really struggled this week
i get like this towards the end of term
i need that week off to simply recover
but just got another 6 working days til I have a week off to recharge
so yesterday I stayed at jack's
we got back and had a brew then walked round the city for a walk for me really
just cus i needed air and a stretch after my day
i picked up new gloves to drive in and very cute bat hair clips
all came to £5 as they were heavily reduced
we went back to his and we made food
then sat and talked with theo
i got ready for bed and i went to bed whilst jack watching love island
theo asked if jack could watch it with him
like ether of them need my permission XD
jack wasnt bothered but i told him to go watch it with theo
i slept pretty well too that night
school was alright just tiring
i left school
laid on sofa with Oz
then went yoga
i could not be arsed in the slightest but i knew i would enjoy it and feel better for it
and i did, karen went easy on us
i cracked so much in that session
i got home made some breakfast biscuits and made dinner
had a shower
unpacked my stuff from jack's
doing my diary and its already 9:15pm
bed want bed
but gotta sit with Oz yet
It's 'green day' tomorrow at school
meaning everyone staff and students have to wear and item of green
at first i thought "not arsed" but then it hit me a couple of hours ago
'i could have a non-uniform day on my birthday'
so thats what im gonna do! im gonna wear a green t-shirt not my work polo shirt and instead of black trousers im gonna wear grey leggings
sure it will annoy jack so it will make me happy X3
tomorrow Jo turns 28!!!
my god im old
when do the wrinkles start?
what have i achieved in my 27th year?
Jack that was probably my biggest change in my life
dont feel like ive got very far really XD
wonder what goodies 28 will bring X3
so tomorrow
i go school
i come home with jack
we have cake mum is making, and eating it with Oz of course
then i go into the city centre with jack and i hopefully buy a Switch lite and we go for pizza
then i come back to his and relax then go out for cookie dough if i have the room
die
and go to sleep XD
saturday
i am meeting mia rob and walt at sherwood pines
were going walkies and having a picnic
im so glad im able to do something for my birthday this year
weather looks good for it :D
Evening~~
I slept pretty well but then I was pretty well dosed up ><
I got up for school it was a chilly morning I have to say even tho it was above freezing
School was longggg
my god it was long
1 practical and that was first lesson
so i felt i had like nothing much going off
i attempted to update a technician guide but found it much to dull to sit and do
but every job i went to go and do i just wasnt in the mood to do somehow
everything was boring
until i turned round and asked a biology teacher if i could redo her photosynthesis display which had partly fallen down and before she could get to repair it, it got damaged by water
she jumped at the chance of me redoing her display for her
so that was that i went to art and robbed a load of acrylic
and started painting a sunflower, as you do
but its coming together really well
everyone who walked by it whilst i painted for over an hour in the science prep room was amazed by it and envied my skill
but i find it so easy as im not trying massively hard as i dont have the time or resources
its nice that i can do something different to everyone around me tho
makes me feel i have a use, a place
as i had gotten into work 20mins early
i left 20 mins early
i was meeting tara after school so i wanted all the time i could get
i got in, got changed and sat down for 10 mins then left to meet tara
we met in the pub between our houses
and both had salted caramel hot chocolate which was nice
we sat and chatted for 2 hours
she cant believe me and jack have almost been going out a year and she hasnt met him yet
so we said we would try an go out for dinner the 4 of us next month
came home and got everything ready for school and ready to stay over at jack's tomorrow
so much sorting
did physio exercises also
ordered a switch game as i have decided to buy a switch
gonna get a yellow switch lite on friday or saturday
now gonna get Oz then go to bed
done in
eaten so many bad things today having so many bad thoughts about how fat i am
so tomorrow i shall eat better
just struggled for energy today and been bloody starving all sodding day
i also tried cheese today
gave me bad stomach pains....
but i was so hoping for pizza on friday
probably still eat it
school tomorrow then jacks
please god dont let school be boring again tomorrow
if not i will just paint all day XD
