Sent home

Evening

Didn't sleep well due to being a bit stressed
i know i have been stressed and anxious about school
ive been scratching in my sleep again so my skin is sore -_____-

I got to school and as usual on a wednesday there is staff meeting
but being lowly technicians, we never attend
but science teachers came back and said that basically
"what the head master said today was that, if you have any health issues, to go see him"
so a few science staff went off to see him
a bit later 2 came back confirming they would be sent home due to health issues and being at risk with the virus, well more at risk anyway
jack said I should go talk to the head teacher...
i didnt want to cus i dont like drawing attention to myself
but orders are orders
so i went down to his office and told him whats what
and he said "so how is your immune system then?"
i said "weak due to having an auto immune disease, many illnesses on top which stresses my body out further so it takes me a while to kick any viruses"
he said "no debate you are to go home"
and that was that
so reluctantly i walked back to the prep room to tell jack
he wasnt surprised, to be honest i wasnt, i just didnt want it confirmed
i didnt want to leave him. that would be both me and julia not there to help him
he said he would be fine and is cancelling all practicals
i told him the biology ones were going ahead today as i have prepped them
he was fine with that
i still didnt want to go tho
it was only 9:30am! and i was leaving
i didnt even get to say bye to any staff cus they were all teaching....

i got home and mum was home so i had a brew with her and filled her in
im to stay home 'self isolate' which i think is stupid when you live with people
and i get full pay, so im not complaining, its not taken out of my holidays or sick time
and they will let me know when i can come back
mum was happy to have me home of course and she and dad have both been worried for me
so i think theyre kinda relieved im home safe

today i spent a lot of the time sleeping
i have been exhausted but i think its cus i have been stressed
doesnt half take it out on my body
so i slept
did 50mins of yoga and dance, should have recorded myself it was a good sesh XD
had a shower as i got sweaty
went back to bed ><
researched online home crafts anything i wanna do kinda thing
and yeah about it

rang jack to see if hes ok
and he survived the day
i think he basically told the teachers to sod off XD
he was making sure chemicals were safe
i need him to kill my e.coli too
it feels weird being at home i dont feel settled somehow and i told him that
and i told him im missing him and wanna see him at the weekend 
he seems alright tho

tomorrow i guess i will please myself
no yoga ether tomorrow
i wanna do some drawing maybe, need to practice dances as i bet i could get some recorded really

damn stupid virus

evening

didnt sleep well despite having a nice relaxing evening last night

last night i discovered that the convention has been postponed til june.................
you what!!??
i was looking forward to that damn it!!!
all cus of this damn virus
and whats more is that we got a txt from karen last night saying shes shutting her yoga studio down for a while cus of the virus
hope you're happy china >.>
all the good things taken away from me
and you know
im still at work!!!!!
why are we still at school!?
seems so damn unfair >.>


i drove to work and got to work 15mins early...the roads were oddly quiet
think its cus people are self isolating and working from home
i got to school and julia rang up - shes not coming it
not coming in for 2 weeks...
what!?
julia is never not in, whats the crack!?
her daughter is coughing and high temperature and new guidelines state if someone in your household is showing these symptoms you have to stay at home for 2 weeks -____-
so thats julia gone
i was stressing as theres normally so much chemistry going off
she told me to be careful
a lot of staff kept asking "you alright Jo?" "should you be in Jo?"
how do i know? i feel fine and i want to continue as normally if i can
also it says on the govenment website that if you have underlining health issues to stay at home. but doesnt actually list what health issues. are we talking asthma or cancer here?
do i stay home or not?
ether way im staying to support jack
who was very stressed what with having julia off
so today has been full on running around im shattered
and survived off a lot of sugar 0.0

i got home early cus i started work early
i had a brew with Oz and mum and nearly went to bed afterwards but somehow stayed awake
and even pushed myself to go for a walk which i sorta enjoyed
i havent done much else really

got my physio exercises to do but cant say i can be bothered to do em >.>
but i will i guess

tomorrow its school
i mostly stay at jacks on a wednesday but i cant be bothered
he did ask but i managed to politely put him off saying he will probably be tired and grouchy after work what with all the work that needs to be done
mainly checking no chemicals will explode if were off school for a while
it sadly means as well i will have to kill my e.coli >< 
i like my bacteria its done well ^^

anyway this damn virus best shut the school
i want time off damn it seeing as it taken everything else away from me
i cant moan
others have it much much worse 
just annoying all this mass hysteria and panic buying and the fact its all people can talk about, i say all this but you watch it will be me who gets it XD

Yo~

I'm back

couldnt be bothered to do my diary basically!

so last week I had my blood test
did not pass out but felt my heart stutter which was strange
but it was good on me for not passing out
I have since had my results and all is well
i didnt really want to go to hospital for further tests what with the virus around, i dont want to catch it or put any more stress on doctors so im leaving any further testing
the doctor said he'd refer me if i pass out again tho
so fair enough

my weekend was spent at jack's
it was nice
i went shopping really on saturday
not that i got anything amazing
i did however get a new stitch plushie ^^
hes in an easter bunny suit and was reduced from £20 to £12 ^^

i came home each day tho to see Oz
and sunday i had Oz in my room which he loved ^^
i like to make sure he knows hes loved and wanted 

about it really
cant really be bothered to report in on my week
today school was alright
hard work as it usually is despite me not having any practicals

i felt a bit stressed about work tho
thursday i came home 90mins early as i felt if i continued i was going to faint
so i left for home
as soon as i walked through the door i cried
id had enough basically
and i was stressed over the weekend thinking how im gonna get through work
i was getting so wound up by it i was hearing noises - tunes
which is part of psychosis and it acts up on me when i get stressed
it even woke me a few times as i felt i could hear things even whilst asleep!
today at work i kept hearing tunes
does my head in
even when i play music i can hear them >.>

i brought flowers for mum this weekend
as next weekend is mother's day and i have the convention so i'll be too dead to buy flowers
well i hope we have convention depends on this bloody corona virus
sick of hearing about it
does my head in
and the panic buying is actually boardline crazy
like its the end of the world
1000s of people die of flu each year but we dont rave about that >.> 
anyway moving on

tomorrow just school really
nothing amazing 

convention best still be on this weekend

dont want blood test tomorrow

Evening

I slept pretty well
I couldnt be bothered today tho if im honest

school was hard work
just cus i felt so crap
i actually got to work questioning myself if i had taken the right dosage 
i felt so dizzy and sick
took til 1pm to actually feel okish
so all day i was slogging it, it was hard
and having to sort the lungs out...i could have been sick
think i felt my self pale at that
wasnt in the mood for that

the last 2 hours of the day were spent helping julia with the washing up
i had other stuff to do too
i quizzed jack on when he was booking his driving
he is putting it off and off
if i get in tomorrow and he still hasnt done anything about it
then thats Jo out, thats me done
i can only try so much til i go beyond wanting to help
i have little energy and im not wasting it

i got home and sat with Oz
then i made some biscuits which was nice
then i did 40mins of yoga
played on disgaea for a bit and had dinner
now im gonna do my physio exercises

god tomorrow i do not want to come....
i have that god awful mega blood test
ill happily trade places with anyone
i feel like crying thats how bad i dont want to go
still at least i get a lay in!
my blood test is at 10:30am 
then once i recover i will be going to work
then sleeping over at jack's hopefully 

just dont wanna go T^T

more sodding appointments

Evening

I slept pretty well but everytime i woke up I was sweating
and it wasnt even a hot night
I couldnt be bothered to go school tho i have to say....
i did feel dizzy most of the day for some reason

school was alright tho
pretty quiet for me as i didnt have a practical on
the most i had to do was do microscopes
i finished a display, i drew isaac newton and the teacher loved it

i got a call from occupational health
saying i will have an hour's telephone appointment on 26th march
ugh what joy that will be!
mum texted too to say she had booked me for a blood test on wednesday...
dear god life is cruel
sick of being a pin cushion >.>
i  hate appointments
i just want my body to be normal and function
mum even booked me a phone call appointment with doctor a week after my results so i know then whether i need to be referred or not

i got home and saw the girls and Oz
ended up dozing off a bit with Oz under my arm
he was so warm soft and fluffy
he ended up licking my nose to wake me up XD

i had dinner then went on my laptop for a bit
not that ive looked at anything interesting
might do some dancing next

dont wanna go tomorrow
got lung dissection and the last of the bacteria
then i have got to grow my own bacteria for my own storage as mine will soon die

about it really

picking up bargains

Konbanwa~~~

So yesterday I got up and I went into the city centre~
after i had cleaned Oz and seen him and stuff tho of course

I shopped around and took my time
I picked up a lot of bargains too ^^
I txted jack to say I was in the city
and later on he came to meet me
we had lunch in a cafe then he took my bags back to his flat
i had brought really cheap clothes, stuff for when i move out and accessories 
I met up with him after I had been bra shopping and we had a hot chocolate
which we both loved
then after that, I took him home to my house
we stayed there for a bit and saw Oz

then I went to his
we made food, watched the end of Kizunaiver and played switchs in bed
it was a good saturday actually ^^
i wanted to get my ears pierced but there was a big que and i couldnt be bothered
but thats fine it will get done!

this morning i woke up and needed my medication
so i got up and left jack
i had breakfast by myself but he wasnt far behind actually
i thought he'd be lazier than what he has been this weekend
we had tea and i went and had a bath
the bath made me feel exhausted and i got dressed and fell asleep
whilst i was asleep jack had made soup from scratch and did other jobs
i felt bad for not helping but he was fine about it
we had soup then i pretty much went home as i had my own soup to make for the week
and biscuits to make

after i did that i went for a walk as the sun was actually out!
then i sorted stuff out in my room and stuff for school
now im wondering whether to dance or draw
not sure what i feel like doing actually
i havent done anything creative in a while but i do have a dance im keen to have ago at

tomorrow is school -____-
i have got to ring up doctors and get in for a blood test as soon as possible really
jack said i can have whatever time off i need to get the test done
hes more worried than i am

i need to do my physio exercises as well tonight T^T
dont wanna go tomorrow

really enjoying playing disgaea and its nice actually tuning off from life too

weighed myself for the first time in 2 years

Evening

I slept pretty well
had a dream that someone spat in my face and went after then, spat in their face and punched them in the face...god knows where that came from. 
i got up and did the thing i have been avoiding 
i weighed myself...my god i had no idea i weighed THAT MUCH!
likes seriously it surprised me
i weigh 61kg which when i looked is an ideal weight for my height
but still feels a lot to me
thats how much i weighed at 17
i told mum i weighed myself she wasnt that impressed
but i said i had done it to see if i had lost weight and i could tell the doctor
anyway it was friday!!!
so i wanted to get the day done and start my weekend!

school was alright probably my most quietest day of the week
i still had two practicals
one being bacteria which i nailed
the teacher have been impressed with my work as they said last year the bacteria just didnt work
and ive got them to work!
just have 1 class to go then im done with that crap
i started putting up a display as well ^^
but couldnt wait to finish
id practically worked by myself today as jack was on the computer like all day doing health and safety stuff that bores me to pieces and i was doing actual work you know
and julia was upstairs a lot today

i told jack i weighed myself and he didnt seem impressed with me
but i told him my reasoning
he couldnt believe i weighed 61kg as he weighs 70kg
i havent had that urge to lose weight but i can feel it creeping in

after work i had an actual brew like as in milk, it was so nice
had it with Oz and the girls
then me and mum went for a walk which was nice
i got back and played on disgaea5 which im really enjoying actually
then i had dinner and then i did my physio exercises
after i  went doctors
ugh doctors on a friday night whats worse

i told him about fainting and being dizzy and having high blood pressure
he seemed concerned about this and did some tests
he said my blood pressure is fine, however i need a blood test -______-
im being tested for 10 things and if it wasnt for the blood test a few weeks ago
i would have been tested for 3 more things
he said if they come back fine then i need to be referred to neurology and cardiology...
nothing is ever simple with my body
i told him i havent been digesting food very well since december but he didnt really seemed bothered to be honest with you he said it was late and im last appointment
so that was that
he would have finshed on time and had time for me if he wasnt 15mins late for me >.>
so crap

came home and showered as i felt dirty after being round school and doctors
gotta get those viruses off me XD

tomorrow its saturday!!! woohoo!
jack is out tonight so he will probably be spending his day recovering tomorrow
im thinking of going into the city centre and having a mooch round
i havent done that in ages 
and nothing else really i want to do
if im brave enough ill go by myself and have my ears pierced!