thats it now

 Evening

Last night think I drifted off before Jack came to bed, but found out this morning he had been up til 1am playing games >.> I woke up at 9am which is too late for my liking.

I tried to do some dancing this morning, I complained to Jack that the other sofa is in my way so he sorted the furniture out in the room and left me to it, he was gonna 'chill' then do his jobs when I went out. I said "no Jack im cracking the whip here, youve gamed for 4 hours every day for a few days you can bloody well get on with some jobs" he couldnt tell if i meant it or not, checked the clock to see it was almost 10am and said "yeah fair I'll get on with it" I went to dance but I need that stupid old chandelier taking down cus I was worrying about hitting it, I had new socks on so I was slipping around so my foot work was terrible. And what was worse was that dances I have done quite literally 100 times I could not remember how to do them...complete mental block like I had forgotten how to dance. Awful awful session. I gave up and did some yoga then took a shower

When I got out I left Jack with his list of chores and went over to mum's she made me a cup of tea and I sat with her and Oz then got on with the sewing I needed to do. She wants two cushion covers making for her friend's bday in January. I worked hard on it but couldnt do a design I wanted so gave up and just did standard cushions. But mum was more than happy with the end result.

I sat with Oz again and the girls as well. I had lunch with mum as well. I remembered that I still hadnt got mia a birthday card. I usually make one but I just havent had time. So I did that as well! taking inspiration from a design of card she designed and sells herself and did my own version of it XD I hope she likes it and finds it funny. Took some more bits over to my house as well

I got back and me and Jack had a brew

he told me he had managed to clean the garage - I havent been to inspect

blocked one end of the garden where Oz could get out but hasnt done the gate as it hasnt stopped slating it down today so he didnt want to get too soaked which is fine

he didnt stick the coving up as he said it's a 2 man job - which yeah fair

and he hoovered and tidied up

brought all the pieces of the wardrobe inside from the garage from Oz's teeth

cleared the spare room so we can redecorate in there

so I was mighty pleased with how much he did

we finished our tea and went to go do the coving, which did take us both to hold up. We had 5mins before 'no nails' set. it took jack 3 mins to actually put it on the coving, we were using his phone to time us. and then we had 2 mins to hold the bugger up! its made of plaster so its quite weighty but its still holding!

we warmed up our left over pasta as well and had that

we finished today what we do in the shadows, glad theres a season 3 ^^

just not sure what to watch next really.

Then we had the job of taking over Jack's family's presents. He thought we wouldnt be allowed in due to covid. I drove us in the pouring rain, it was dark and puddles the size of lakes on the roads. Like I had to use other lanes to get out of the reach of the puddles! Jack said he would drive back but I said I was struggling so her certainly isnt driving back.

We gave them their presents at the door and they welcomed us in....

was not expecting to be invited in. i had my scruffs on, messy hair, crippling tummy ache from dinner and my pain killers were due in an hour

she kept us on the other side of the room and didnt come near us, it was like the family vs jack and Jo XD but i enjoyed seeing them I just ached and had stomach ache and was tired. I couldnt moan too much as we got told that the family cat has days to live basically. So Jack, who loves his cat, it was his last time to see the cat. But he sat her on his knee and fussed her but that was it....like id be in pieces.

we left at gone 9pm and I had to drive back shattered. They gave us a boot full of presents, literally only just fit them in my car 0.0 jesus....

I asked jack how he was feeling about the cat he said he was just keeping it together, he wanted to cry. But I knew his mum was only just keeping together so Im guessing he was staying strong for her. Wondered why he was a bit absent of emotion. But yeah. Queenie is sweet tho. I feel bad for them seeing her so poorly.

I came home ranting about tummy ache, aches, it was 9:30pm and I wasnt in my pyjamas so jack was like "so go sort yourself out!" XD i just like ranting at him

walked into the bedroom and stripped off and caught my reflection in the mirror....

i have gone a long time without seeing my naked reflection

i could have cried. honestly i dont know how i kept it together

I HAD NO IDEA THINGS WERE THIS BAD

I AM FAT

no other words. My body is hideous. awful.

I cant look again. 

i hate it so so so so much. I want to cry

i texted mum saying i didnt know i had let things get this bad

so thats it now. no treats for Jo

it's 10:30pm I still have tummy ache and cant stop thinking about my weight

god knows if i will sleep. i just want to cry and let it out.

typically i have been good today - mentally

tomorrow

christmas eve, have nothing planned other than seeing mum and Oz and finishing Mia's birthday card

it's not all got to be done in one day

 Evening

So last night I had happily sat next to Jack drawing, working on his Hammington picture. But called it a night at 9pmm so I could go and paint my nails alone in front of What we do in the shadows

I went to bed at 10pm, but struggled to sleep, my thoughts just plummeted massively. I went from feeling pretty ok in my self to thoughts of harming my self. I have no control over where my thoughts head but my head was so busy, I struggled to read in bed I ended up reading the same paragraphs and pages over and over again. So i gave up. Listened to the thoughts in bed til I nodded off around 11:30pm. Got woke up at midnight by Jack climbing into bed and this unsettled me greatly. I was in so much damn pain. I was slightly annoyed that I had been woken up even tho he had probably been as quiet as he could have been. This is something i just need to get used to - this double bed and someone climbing into it after I have fallen asleep. All in time I guess

so we got up and I heavily dosed myself up I didnt care, I didnt tell Jack how much I was having he would only worry and probably not slept. We had hot chocolate and biscuits. I fell asleep really quite fast thanks to pain killers. Next thing i knew I was waking up rather groggy at 8:30am. Jack was already awake and had been in and out of bed, flushed the toilet and everything but I dont wake up to that but somehow wake up to him coming to bed >.> I felt like going back to sleep all thanks to midnight pain killers and Jack said I didnt need to get up but the freezer could come at any minute and I didnt want to leave with him. So i got up, literally 1 minute later the delivery men rang up to say they were 10 mins away. So good job I got up

delivery men turned up and took our damaged freezer and replaced it with a new one ^^ no problems. We were all sorted before 9am! 

I went for a shower and got ready to go out and we went to meet Harvey and Theo and we went for a nice winter walk round a park. We walked by some shops and we had cake from a bakery which was nice and sweet and needed. We went into a charity shop and I got a new mat for me to lay on at work for only £3! its basically a fold away yoga mat. so I am glad I have a replacement for that.

we left Harvey and Theo, it was really nice to see them despite my mood flocculating whilst we were with them. We said we would go for another walk next tuesday with them. We went to a hard ware shop for some wire meshing to secure the garden then went home. Jack drove us home. I was very very achy and in a lot of pain.

I got home, had a brew, several pain killers and just collapsed on the bed after my tea. Jack very kindly made our cheshire cheese soup, i havent made it in a couple of years and it was as good as I remember it he did well ^^ he even cleaned up! I was back on the bed and mum texted Jack asking if she could come over, I told him that she could. So at almost 3pm mum came over with the Ozwald, who has been doing poos in the new hutch - he found it open first thing this morning and was making it known it was his now -____- mum  has since scrubbed it clean and left it to air. He had a good hop round and I put treats in his new treat pot and gave him one ^^ i loved having him over, we need each other.

Mum took him home after 4pm, Jack had left us alone to talk after he had made us a brew. He was really helpful today ^^

We watched more of what we do in the shadows and then went on computers then had our very easy dinner of gammon we left in the slow cooker all day for about 9 hours in cola XD it was soooo good we had it on cobs.

after that my brother came over in my dad's van with the new rabbit hutch for it to dry in our garage as it is upsetting Oz by being on top of his hutch. So it is clean and drying in our garage now.

My brother stayed til almost 9pm just talking to me and Jack which was nice I am so glad he has been coming over and spending time with me ^^ I was worried he wouldnt be bothered or miss me.

he left and I came to do my diary.  I am shattered  so I am gonna finish up here and read in bed. I have no concentration for drawing tonight it is too late now. Jack is playing online with Harvey and Theo for the first time in a good week or so. Not sure what time he will be finished at its 9:40pm and he only started at 9pm. He best not wake me again >.>

tomorrow

I am maybe dancing? I might give dancing a go in the morning, have a shower then go over to mum's. she wants to give her best friend 2 cushions for her new camper van for her birthday in January so I said I would make the cushion covers as she wasnt having any luck finding a decent cushion online. So I ordered all the fabric and such and now it has all arrived I can make it. But my craft stuff is all at mum's so I will be over there working tomorrow and I will be tasking Jack with many jobs...how much he gets done is another question!

Been a bit stressed tho cus we have stuff to do

basically we need to make the garden secure for Oz, I need to clean the garage out to make it safe for Oz, move Oz over

the spare room needs the coving sticking back up (fell down due to mould and damp) the room needs painting, the wardrobes from Luke need building back up in there, I need to bring the rest of my clothes over from Mum's once the wardrobes are up

when we went to the hardware shop today they have a sale on bathrooms til 11th January and I think we could afford to have ours done so I need to book an appointment with them to design our bathroom and pay for it before 11th jan to get the sale discount.

so much to do

stresses me out

my health is up and down - mostly down - how long do i give it til i see the doctor? 

yeah Jo's head is spinning

people keep saying to me "its not all got to be done in one day, dont stress, we will sort it. its ok"

yeah its hard

actually saw mia, our walk in the rain

 Evening

Last night was sunday so Jack's online gaming night

I did stay in the room with him drawing until 9pm which is late for me to be on my computer but I wasnt feeling that tired. So I made myself a hot chocolate and watched What we do in the shadows but literally as I sat down Jack finished up! so he made himself a hot chocolate too - as I did boil enough water just in case he wanted one! and we watched an episode together then went to bed, I did a bit of reading but couldnt really focus on my book to be honest

I did sleep well I woke up at 7am then at 8am and decided to get up as I had an alarm set for 8:30am anyway. Besides I was bloody crippled! back and ribs ache, that bed needs bedding in! its just a bit firm for me right now but jack is really happy with it. He offered for me to sleep on top of the duvet but I want to sleep in the bed like a normal person. 

we got up and I feel better about 10mins later after I have moved about a bit anyway

I got ready to meet mia, unfortunately it was raining, quite bad but I really really wanted to see her, give her her presents and get some fresh air! so I went out wrapped up, stupidly I put my airy trainers on so I had wet socks quite quickly ><

but yeah she turned up with her dogs and we swapped presents at the door and went for a walk which was a good walk I was gone a good hour, I got soaked but I enjoyed it. Just talking to and seeing another human being who isnt my family or Jack - no matter how much i love them

she said the same thing actually

so when I got in Jack kindly made me a cup of tea and warmed my oat bag up for my shoulders so yeah he was there to thaw me out which was kind of him ^^

I showed him the Hammington picture actually and he really liked it, he laughed but yeah he said he liked it and said he loves me XD he likes my humour and I like his

we had lunch then I helped Jack wrap up his family's christmas presents and then we went over to mum's were I was greeted by Oz on the sofa :D mum got him in for me ^^ we sat with the girls too. Oz smelt I must say. He never smells but yeah he smells. Mum said to go have a look at the ne hutch they got which is on top of Oz's cage at the moment. It stinks like it really stinks. It housed a male rabbit who clearly hasnt had the snip cus un-neutered male rabbits STINK. I can never wait to get my baby male bunny done just cus their wee smells so bad. And this cage hums of rabbit wee. So Jack googled what we would be best to clean it with as we dont want to replace the smell with bleach as thats unfair on Oz's nose. White vinegar apparently works well so mum said she would buy some for us. I have offered to clean the hutch tho - just putting that out there

we came home at 4pm and brought home with us some more of my clothes but also our Ottoman for the bedroom! it arrived today and we get everything posted to mum's house so I relieved her of that massive thing. We are dead pleased with it tho, its soft and sturdy  

we watched more of what we do in the shadows - i have almost finished it!

then did dinner which was pasta and I made a good job of it ^^

cleaned up and now I am on my laptop, Jack is talking to his friends tonight on skype at 9pm so I am gonna paint my nails whilst he does that. 

Tomorrow 

we are getting our new replacement freezer between 7-11am as our first one arrived with a massive dent in it where the temperature knob is. So once we have that we are hopefully going for a walk with Theo and Harvey. Just so we can have a catch up and see them. It was so good to see Mia today so I am sure Jack will be happy to see his friends, heck even I will be! so isolating lately

havent got anything else planned after that I dont think, apart from going to the shops were Harvey lives. and we might pop in a hardware shop for stuff to protect the garden with for Oz

right its 8pm I have some time to do some drawing!  

Started Hammington Picture

 Evening!

I had a much better night last night, a lot was due to sheer exhaustion

but when we got back we did watch Inuyasha together and had a hot chocolate which Jack made for me. He did make an effort with me, even skipping a 'christmas party' online with his friends he plays online games with.

We went to bed after 10pm I was just done but felt much better in myself

I slept through the night and needed my alarm which went off at 8am

we only set an alarm as we wanted to get to the shops for 10am - which is what time they usually open

so we had breakfast and both had a shower and then went out to the shops. Jack drove all day today which meant of course parking up in a car park! he parked out the way of any other car XD I wasnt complaining as its less stressful but he did do really well. But looking at the supermarket car park it was so busy...but how it was 10am!? people were coming out with trolleys full! usually on a sunday you cant buy anything til 10:30am its some sort of rule/law i think. so we got into the shop which actually wasnt too bad. We had a massive list 0.0 it was a bit daunting to be honest. 

My anxiety was quite high but to be honest I did cope really well and we got everything on our list racking it up to £142! but thanks for our 10% discount for being key workers we got it at £130! jack did buy some whisky so that added to the expense and we brought A LOT of meat...so much meat...XD

we got back to the car and Jack drove us to wilkos were we had to que outside to get in and shelves were pretty empty :/ we just about managed to get what we wanted. 

Then we came home, I was so tired by this point, my body had begun to shake a bit.

We unpacked the sheer amount of shopping, made a cup of tea and used our toaster! we had fruit loaf, something I have never had before but Jack reassured me it was just like tea cake - we couldnt get tea cakes really. It was actually really nice

I txted mum to say we were back and fed and they can come over when ever.

she sent me a txt "just been to derby to fetch a hutch!" so yay!!!! I have a new hutch for the Ozwald

she sent me a photo then video footage of Oz checking it out and hopping inside it >.> hes too cocky for his own good. It had housed a male rabbit so Oz was going round scenting it all -_____-

mum said that Oz threw his food dish out his cage yesterday. He has never done that in his whole life, he also tore his newspaper up which he doesnt do very often to be fair. But mum said "do you think he knows something has changed?" I mean I have only been away at the time 2 nights and one of which I did spend with him so it was no different to me having a weekend at Jack's flat but somehow Oz knows I have moved out and is showing us how he feels -______-

the 'new' cage which is obviously second hand will stay at mums and Oz will have his usual hutch for the bungalow. We will move him over hopefully this week but we just need to secure the garden which isnt going to be too big of a problem there is only a small gap at the end of the garden, and then need some wire meshing for the gate as the gate is metal and he could get through the gaps.

My brother and my dad came over and were keen to start, they started on the roof...

my 58 year old dad on the roof doesnt sit well but there is no stopping him. He went up to clear my gutterings and to actually sort this blasted tv aerial out that my brother has been trying to sort all week. They did eventually sort it. the problem was the wire coming from the aerial it's self like the satellite bit, the cables were destroyed so its no wonder my brother had no luck with any of the cables in the house. My mum came over - without Oz - we went for a walk together leaving the men in the house. And we talked about my mental health and such cus shes obviously worrying about me and says the house feels odd and strange without me.

we came back to the bungalow and I assisted dad whilst he changed light switches and light fittings and I got his opinion on what needs nails and what needs screws - luckily we got away with nails so Jack was able to do them - the drill - he needs to build his confidence up with.

so we have the porch room finished!!! another room ticked off, the new freezer will be in there on tuesday but apart from that it is finished XD

they left together as I ended up with my whole family over XD jack doesnt mind

then me and jack sat and watched an episode of what we do in the shadows and then did dinner which was noodles but I struggled with it, as i am just struggling with food at the moment.

Then it was pretty much time for jack to game, i massaged his hands for him as he says they have been bad lately so i did that then I went on my own laptop on my own little desk - that my family think are very good ^^ and did some drawing. Started drawing me and Biscuits Hammington - a big 20" plush I have of a hamster. Jack keeps finding me cuddling her as I love cuddling her on the bed. He keeps saying "I need some cute kinky picture with you with Hammington" the perv

so I am drawing him one, as I am no way letting anyone take photos of me right now. I told him I am drawing him the picture but he hasnt seen it XD

here we are so far, hammington is only roughly drawn

think its going ok, something different for me to draw actually

I am gonna log off now as it is 9:10pm I am tired and gonna chill out without listening to Jack game beside me. God bless headphones

tomorrow

Mia was coming over to exchange gifts but cus of further covid restrictions I am unsure how I feel about it so we are still meeting up but taking the dogs for a walk round here at 9:30am so jack gets a bit of quite time :)

then I will probably help Jack wrap his presents for his family. Not got a lot else to do really. I have bits on this week but I think tomorrow will be quite quiet.

Not a good first night

 Evening

Well last night me and Jack didnt settle down and watch Inuyasha

he seemed quite happy on his computer so I left him to it and got ready for bed

he did join me, he was tired and stopped reading in bed before me. I could not settle tho. I was restless. I had slept for over 2 hours in the day and done no exercise. Also my mind was racing.

I got up, leaving Jack fast asleep and made myself a hot chocolate - you can hear everything in the bungalow so I was worried the kettle would wake Jack up - nope!

I sat with my hot chocolate and had a pain killer even tho I had only taken some 2 hours previously but I just wanted to sleep and usually that does knock me out. But no

I laid there and laid there, listening to Jack sleep

I couldnt take it anymore and decided to see how asleep he was and stroked his hand and said his name softly but nothing, so I got up alone. I sat crying in the living room alone

I just felt so confused. Like what I was feeling and thinking was wrong

Ive seen all my friends dead happy and excited about moving out, and I didnt feel that. I just sad...numb and unhappy. But why? I have had loads of help with everything to get me settled and such. I should feel happy and grateful but I just didnt.

I decided these thoughts were getting me no where so I did 20 mins of yoga by candle light and then decided I still felt like utter crap. I considered taking a lot of pain killers just so I wouldnt need to think or feel. I did take another pain killer at 1am which was over dosing but I wasnt bothered in the slightest. I went to bed and cuddled up to Jack who let me cuddle him in his sleep.

When I woke up this morning I was alone in bed and it was 9:50am!! jesus....that was some lay in

Jack had been up and sorted a few things online, such as our damaged freezer which is being replaced free of charge on tuesday.

I couldnt be bothered with the day to be honest I felt so flat and down.

Jack made me a cup of tea and tried to get me motivated and my spirit going

I had a shower and felt more human

Jack's new driving instructor arrived at 10:50am and off he went, whilst my mum pulled up on the drive with Ozwald X3 that cheered me up just seeing her and my Oz

who honestly was loving his morning and scattering his poos >.> found 10 under my bed the untidy git

mum helped me unpack the rest of my stuff and kept me company basically, which with the way I have been feeling is probably for the best. Then she took my Oz away and I had half hour to myself before Jack would be  home, so I decided to paint the wood work in the porch and the bathroom door so it all looks better for that. Then Jack came home and warmed our soup up whilst I finished the toilet door.

After lunch I decided to give my coffee table another coat of potent yacht varnish and the tin lid is a bit sharp in places but I didnt think much of it, so I continued to varnish away and looked down at the bubble wrap I had used to protect the carpet from varnish to find blood smeared across it. I looked at my hand and I had cut my finger open :/ not that I could feel it.

but that was enough to literally make me feel faint in a matter of seconds, luckily jack came in at that point and was like "have you cut yourself?" i just nodded as I couldnt speak, pathetic as the cut is TINY! he was like "right ok stop looking at it!!" and got me on to the sofa before I did pass out. For some reason I just cant cope with my own blood.

took me a while to recover from that which irritated the hell out of me as it was sunny out and i wanted to get out for a walk down the river!! jack tended to my cut bless him

and he drove down to the river, we walked in the sunlight along the river which was nice

then I drove us to tara's who wasnt in but I just wanted to drop her xmas present off anyway, then drove us home.

we got in and had a brew and a rest

we then planned out our meals and shopping list as its christmas week next week and we still dont have a freezer! 

then I had a half hour sleep on the bed whilst jack gamed

we went over to mum and dad's and had take away pizza, well they did i had pasta from last night as I couldnt face pizza and the pasta gave me stomach ache. I ended up crying on my bed from exhaustion and just the way I am feeling. we sat with Oz which cheered me up then we went home.

Come on here to do my diary, gonna have hot chocolate and watch inuyasha then go bed

Tomorrow

we are gonna get to the shops for 10am - when they open 

and do our christmas food shop

have lunch then dad is coming over to help with a few bits

then not sure really i guess we have the rest of the day free

our christmas tree 2.0 after i got some decorations from home   

Moved out

 Evening

So I think last night was my last night at my family home

I went to bed at 9:45pm and then woke up at 1am needing pain killers

so I got up and had a mammoth bowl of cereal and pain killers then went to bed at 2am

but I can tell I didnt sleep all that well

Not only that I had to be over at the bungalow for 7am as we could have our freezer delivered between 7am and 11am, so I set  my alarm for 6:40am

I didnt see mum before I left the bungalow I just told dad what I was doing and left at 6:50am

I saw Jack for a bit before chris came to pick him up for school

then I had my breakfast and a brew by myself, I settled down in front of 3 episodes of 'what we do in the shadows' a series I have been meaning to watch, as I have seen bits

the delivery men came at 9:20am so it wasnt too bad

they dropped it off and left and I somehow managed to unpack it then just left it as the instructions said to, I let jack know it had come. Then I finished painting the porch! so all that is left to do in there is the white wood work which isnt too big a job but I am thinking of doing the door and bathroom door as well as it is filthy.

I came home at 10am and had a shower, and felt exhausted. It had hurt to hold the paint roller and just generally paint, think its from painting yesterday. So I went to bed and woke up 2 and a half hours later....jeez 

so I had my lunch which was soup Jack had made

he had txted me to say he finished school at 1:30pm and was going into the city centre to finish his christmas shopping.

Mum meanwhile helped me pack my stuff, I had a lot to pack as you can imagine. My brother kindly put all the stuff in mine and mum's car. Then we had a brew with Oz and the girls. I could tell mum found packing difficult because she doesnt want me to go. She knows its got to happen and has accepted it but doesnt have to like it.

We dropped all my stuff off at 3:45pm and then Jack turned up 10mins later from the city

and mum said she would leave us to it, my brother left and mum hugged me I hoped she wouldnt cry as I would cry! but she was strong for me

Jack helped me put together my desk and chair that had arrived today ^^ so I have a nice little corner in his study to sit on my laptop :) Its so lucky they came today as they are not due for another week! fate! and then we put some of my stuff away but I havent brought EVERYTHING over as I just havent.

Like I havent got all my clothes or my plush or figures but I will bring them over as and when. I wont bring over craft stuff until I have a craft room. And as for Oz, my parents are still hunting for a cage for him. But I will see him every day.

we then had a minute to rest before we cooked pasta and ate that, but I wish I hadnt as it really hasnt sat well in my stomach. Just not on good terms with food cus of mentalness i guess

so thats it, I am here

I could be here for the rest of my life if I chose.

in this bungalow, with Jack

its still sinking in, Ive shed the odd tear this evening when he hasnt been looking. Its just overload of emotion as I couldnt ask for it any better, the house is practically redecorated, my family is a 5min walk, Oz will join us, I have Jack, I have money to live off, comforts and yeah I need to be happy and grateful and I know I will be I just need to settle down with with all. i feel restless but I havent done any exercise today T^T so i hope I can sleep :/ I am just tired all the time and have to give my energy to more important thing sometimes, like packing today for example

Jack came home with goodies from work, people had gifted him with things for being so amazing. he said many people wished me to get better and a merry chirstmas. which was nice but I feel so distant from work and all that are there. its odd. i want to return but I also dont want to return.

Jo is just overwhelmed with everything right now @.@

I will get there I am sure

I have many to support me

but now my main support has shifted from mum to jack

is he up to the task?

we shall have to see

tomorrow

at 11am Jack has a driving lesson for 2 hours and so mum said she will come over with Oz maybe, then me and jack are going for a walk down the river as we have done nothing together for so long. Then going over to my family's for take away pizza!

Our bed room

Could be my last night at my family home

 Evening

I actually slept! Thank god man, so I woke up at 8:30am

got ready to go out and by 9:20am I was painting the porch

Jo gets on with things~

But before I painted, I went into our bedroom for my crappy clothes to paint in and found this....

I was disgusted but also very amused as I knew Jack had positioned them just for my entertainment. As I told him to look after Hammington and I found Snorlax having his way with her!! So I took a photo and sent it to Jack saying 'what the hell jack! you were suppose to look after her!!"

painting was alright actually, I painted for 90mins with my music playing and the sun shining, so it wasnt too bad or lonely. And I got the first coat done ^^ Needs a second coat.

I txted mum who was 7 doors down that I had finished and was just tidying up, as she said she wanted to bring her friend - my 80 year old neighbour 7 doors down - round to see the bungalow.

Luckily I had put right Hammington and Snorlax before my neighbour came over and had a heart attack at the scene before her. So she had a look around and was very impressed with our home ^^

I came home with mum and we had lunch, then we sat for a bit I was exhausted to be honest, painting did a number on me but it felt like such an achievement. Mum kindly dyed my hair, its just my natural colour so you cant even tell it just makes my hair colour even and shiny and soft too

then we went for a walk, finishing up at the bungalow and had a brew when Jack came home.

we talked a little bit and then mum went, giving us time for each other so we just laid on the bed and talked, I told jack about the sheer amount of stuff that will need to come over to the bungalow over the weekend. theres...a....lot...and I have no idea where it is all gonna go. But mum says I can move out and just keep taking bits over like I have been doing, theres not pressure to take EVERYTHING in one go. so thats nice.

I walked home so jack could play games and have his dinner. He was impressed with my painting and agreed it looks loads better and warmer too. It is his last night of freedom as we have said that I will be sleeping over there from now on. should be anyway! its such a big step but I am feeling better about it all than I once did.

I came back and had dinner then I found some time to actually do some drawing, started doing the picture of me and hammington, Im thinking of making it a little bit nudy XD cus its for Jack's desktop picture and I think it will be funny

It's 7:50pm but I am so tired, it hurts to look at the computer screen so I think I am done here.

Tomorrow

We should be getting a freezer delivered! But delivered to the bungalow so it means I will need to be at the bungalow between the expected delivery times - whenever that may be! So I am unsure how the day will pan out. I will need to take some stuff over to the bungalow, I am having dinner over there and sleeping over there. To be honest it could be my last night here tonight as I do need to start actually living in my own home. And to get settled during the holidays would be perfect.

I hope I can finish the second coat in the porch way and get that almost finished then I will just need to do the white work in there and it will be almost done.

we shall see what tomorrow brings