go back to being a technician tomorrow

 Evening

To say i took a herbal sleeping tablet last night it didnt exactly help that much :/

this morning we got up for our weekly shop which was quite big to be honest and ended up costing over £110....ouch

We came back and unloaded the sheer mass of food and then I popped to mum's were I sat with her and the pigs which was nice, and dad even washed my car whilst I sat! I only washed it last week so that was nice of him. I weighed myself and was a bit disappointed as I had only lost 0.5kg and I have been working so damn hard! But all well a loss is a loss and I mustn't be disheartened by this.

I came home at 11am as I needed to make my soup for the week, I decided to make a tomato soup and add chicken and bacon in it as I need something to keep me going.

We had lunch then I had a sort out of the craft room, just chucking stuff out and putting paint cans in the garage and did other house stuff. I had a half hour lay down with jack which was nice as I was running out of energy! I had cleaned out Oz too, he had enjoyed hindering me....

we went for a walk as the sun was really nice ^^ 

we came back and had a sit with Oz whilst having a brew, I cleaned the bathroom

i kept myself busy with one thing and another as I felt when I was still I was starting to worry about school, well not worry, but more thinking about it and i could feel the nerves building >< 

we had dinner and i cooked my breakfast for the week

then I have come up stairs to watch a few videos and do my diary but I need to get Oz out next. As when I have sat with him I will then do my execises for the day then have a much needed bath!

I plan to have a bath late tonight and not shower in the morning as if I want to work out after school it means showering twice and its not good to do that all the time.

So tomorrow

I am back at school and back to being a technician

jack is returning to school as he is better now, but he is on the key worker rota so will be sat in a classroom, I will be covering for him.

Mum is having Oz for me ^^

Started blood bath picture

 Konbanwa~

Couldnt sleep last night, despite being tired. I kept trying to sleep but got up at 12:45 for pain killers, came to bed and still couldnt sleep so I woke jack. I took yet more pain killers and we watched an episode of black cat - my idea as i needed to take my mind off it all

we went to bed at like 2am T^T

so when we woke up at 8:20am and the electrician was suppose to come at 8:30am, safe to say we had a mad rush to get ready! jack let Oz out but literally as the electrician showed up we heard the tell tale sound of chain saw. My dad and his friend had arrived and had started!! So jack grabbed Oz inside as I didnt want him to freak. Then there was drilling inside cus of new power sockets >< quite a noisy morning!

Oz needed toilet so I put him home and stayed with a few mins to make sure he was ok and not stressed with the noise. But he seemed fine. He had been fine inside too. Cant believe how relaxed he had been actually. So then I decided to do my exercises and went into the bath when I had finished. The electrician left whilst I was in the bath. After I got dressed I cut jack's hair for him. then he had a bath.

We had lunch then rested a bit. we had Oz in a few times he was so sweet :)

I declared I wanted to go out despite being tired, just wanted to get out so we picked up bits from the range I had wanted for a while. All was well, we got a good haul and I spent £50! I brought sweet treats for jack and bath salts for me as my treat XD

we walked to the car and then jumped out my skin as next to my car was a sparrow hawk killing a pigeon. There was blood...I froze just totally transfixed. Jack said not to look at it and went to put the heavy bags in the car. I couldnt move I had frozen. The sparrow hawk had long flown off leaving this pigeon bleeding, coughing up blood. It was suffering. It was horrible. Jack pulled me away, took my bags off me and told me to get in the car. I was in shock i think as i was panting and crying. I just wasnt ready for that!!! Jack drove us home as I was too shook up for that. I stopped shedding tears but I was very drained after that. Jack did tell me as he got in the car the pigeon did fly off.

we got home and he made me tea and got Oz in for me and made sure I was ok

i said "how come you didnt freak out?" 

he said "I saw your reaction and just went into 'make sure Jo is ok' mode" he knows me and how rapidly my body can protest and not function. He knows how to look after me ^^

after I recovered - I ate my sweet juicy pomegranate - we did dinner

I did jack such a good dinner he was so happy with it, omelette, thick bacon, hash browns, beans with sausages in. He loved it XD

we cleared up and came on our computers

i ordered a few bits online like new trainers as mine look tired and i ordered hair bows. Wanted new things really as I havent been able to go out and buy anything cus of lock down :/

all cheap stuff anyway~

I did some drawing, continued from the other night, I want to draw a girl in a bath of blood~

tomorrow

we will get up early for our weekly shop

then I might pop see mum for an hour, and do my weekly weigh in!

I have Oz to clean out, soup to make, bathroom to clean, exercises to do, school to get ready for!

Jack is still poorly

 Evening~~

I slept pretty well but I was so damn shattered. Jack cuddled me a bit in bed but I couldnt be bothered to cuddle back XD

I got up for school and I told jack to stay home, we still didnt know what his stomach was like and it just wasnt worth it.

I went to school and had quite a busy day again. Just teachers flapping cus its first week back next week. I ordered my hearts tho~ I finished my star wars display and got praised by head of science, and he has asked if i will do a positivity display for the science staff room ^^

I did feel a bit dizzy and unwell at one point so had to lay down. I was struggling to sit up but Julia asked me to lay down ><

I left school and went to see mum for half hour, quick brew and came home to see jack. He had done jobs round the house and spent 90mins with Oz. He said his stomach is loads better.

I was grouchy as I was tired, in pain and starving!!! so i raided my supplies. Then I said I have my exercises to do but jack wanted me to lay down on the sofa with him. Were we both fell asleep for almost an hour. I drooled a bit on him ><

We had dinner, Jack had a shower and I sat with Oz. I then summoned the strength to do my exercises. Had a shower and sat with Oz again. Now its 9:50pm and doing my diary. So damn tired!

Tomorrow

8:30am our electrician is coming over~

9:00am or earlier my dad and his friend are coming over to lob the trees on the foot path behind our house as it will sprout its leaves and berries which will land in our garden, I do not want Oz eating them! and council do nothing. so dad is doing it.

So yeah busy morning, I am  going to have to keep Oz stress free which might end up with me taking him to mum. We shall see~

Last day of working from home

 Evening

I kept waking up last night, jack was snoring and we were squabbling over the duvet XD

I got up at 7:30am and Jack's stomach was still off :(

I brought Oz inside and he has his morning carrot inside with us ^^ he was so damn cute and happy I love spending time with him. I got lots of licks from him.

I popped him outside, had a look on instagram at people losing weight - which has been motivating me at times! - and then did my exercises. I had a bath afterwards then Jack had the bath. I left him in the bath as mum came to pick me up from the neighbour's house 7 houses down. I went to hers and I had lunch with her and then I cut Truffs's fur. She looks loads better and cuter

I decided to make someone from work a mask so I did that, then went for a short walk with mum. She had really appreciated my company today, I did it for her. As I knew I wouldnt be able to do this again til easter holidays.

I came home and I had accidently woke Jack up. He looked pale and wiped out. I felt sorry for him. I texted mum saying that jack wasnt good.

She told me to go chemist for him, and as my meds were due I decided to go, out in the rain I might add, to the chemist for jack

cost me £11! just got some tablets to help with stomach cramps and pain, and then a thing to mix with water to hydrate him.

I also called in a corner shop for some sugary sweets for him :) anything to cheer him up

I came back to find he still had Oz out from when we had a tea at 3 it was now 4 XD he said Oz wouldnt come and he was pushing his luck - like he did this morning might i add.

He had his meds, I did some house work, got dinner on which was  leftovers and pie out the freezer for jack.

after we cleared up I went on my laptop looking for more popcorn treats for Oz as tara brought me some and theyve been great for Oz and his diet! but my pet shops dont sell it :/

I also ordered a new cardigan for work as mine is old and tatty. I have ordered a very cute one ^^

Now im talking to harvey and theo whilst drawing and jack is gaming.

good way to spend my last day working from home

tomorrow is school

I have asked jack to take the day off and recover.

Jack missed school

 Evening

I slept pretty well, got up and showered and got ready for school. jack was still in pain with his stomach tho so he actually ended up ringing up school to say he wasnt coming in, he asked if i would be ok, but I said "i only see you at lunch for key worker days anyway" id be fine

so i went to school by myself

and it just so happens a few science teachers came in, and as I was the first technician in all week, I had a lot requests and things to see too. I was quite busy all day. Trying to find time to finish my star wars display as well. I didnt actually have to spent any time in the classroom with the covid/key worker children. So that worked out well. I had my meeting with head of science. He wanted to see my time table I had made up. He said "can I have a copy of this please?" i said "erm why?" he said "well it will go on your record that we have put something in place for you but also id like to pull you up on it when you're not sticking to it" >.> people know me too well.

I left school on time and went straight to mum's I was quite exhausted as i hadnt really allowed myself and breaks today T^T i am my own worst enemy. I sat with mum and Oz for an hour then brought Oz home.

Jack hadn't done much today but did the few jobs I had asked of him.

I sat and talked to him about school as I felt he had missed a lot today.

Then did my exercises which went pretty fast to be honest

I had lovely bath afterwards. I havent had baths for a few days and I forgot how good they are

I waited for Jack to have a bath then we had dinner which was stew I put on before school.

Then sat for a bit on my bed, then with Oz now on here.

Quite tired so probably have an early night.

tomorrow

just working from home and do my exercises, nothing special. Last day of working from home!

drew a cookie

 Evening

I managed to get off to sleep ok but woke up at 1am for like the worlds biggest wee honestly I felt lighter after that XD couldnt believe I was holding all that

I didn't want to get up this morning, Jack got up half hour before me and let my Ozwald out.

I got up and had breakfast and then sat in my pyjamas and read my science book for a while then I marinated the meat for dinner and then I went to go clean Oz out.

Then I did my exercises. It is sometimes a big ask especially in the morning as I havent eaten as much and lacking energy! But I did it and went for a shower afterwards. We had lunch then I read my book til 1pm. Gathered my Ozwald up and went to mum's, I went for a walk with her. Then had a quick tea with her and then came back, leaving my Ozwald with mum. He was enjoying playing around the girl's pen outside whilst they were in it. He likes jumping on top of it and sniffing them through the bars. He seemed happy enough but I never feel right coming away with out him.

I came home and read my book a bit more then laid on my bed for a bit as I was just shattered

Jack woke me an hour later at 4:30pm and we did a bit of an early dinner as I was hungry anyway

then I have been on my laptop drawing a cookie dissolving away for Chris at work as he wanted it for his youtube channel 'False Cookie' think he's calling it.

 I sent him a picture of it on whats app tonight and asked what shall i do with it, thinking he will tell me where to send it. He said "you're in school tomorrow right? come see me in the morning we will talk then" ominous, I found that strange. So we shall see but glad it is done now as I couldnt be bothered with it! 

Now I might do a bit of drawing then watch Inuyasha with Jack, he asked his friends to play tonight but theyre not playing so at least I wont be late in bed anyway tonight.

I might go on just dance but I am quite tired. I went on it last night with the intention of doing just doing 2 dances but did 5 and got sweaty XD

I converted the weight I was when I was at my thinnest which was obviously when I was at my sickest. I was only 45kg!! can you believe that! I was skeletal. I do feel better in myself both physically and mentally for working out. I feel fitter and I feel I getting my body back. As I couldnt bare to look in the mirror anymore I hated myself.  I feel I will be happy with myself once I get down to the 50's as I am now 64.6kg. I will keep working hard

Tomorrow is school

I have the star wars display to hopefully finish ^^

Oz got his cable

 Evening

I had a nightmare last night and woke up dripping wet. Got up to the toilet for a wee and to dry myself off. How the hell does the body get so hot, heated and sweaty when just laying down!?

I got up at 7:30am, is was really damp this morning but I still got ready for my walk with mia, she came over just after 9am. It was good to see her and the dogs. It will be the last time I can do my monday walk with her as next monday  i will be at school ><

I came in and had a cup of tea and a rest then did some work with Jack for the star wars display at work. Had lunch then did my work out. Took some effort to do but you know I gotta get that bikini bod XD

I had a shower afterwards and had Oz in, who in the time it took me to put him on the floor and shut the living room door had chewed through Jack's iphone cable!!!! that fast!!!

I couldnt believe what had happened! so when Jack came out the shower I had to tell him and show him what happened. He didnt seem mad much to my surprise. Usually the phone charger isnt in there because of Oz, I saw it but just didnt get there quick enough! It did annoy me to be honest but i couldnt get mad at him. It was my fault I hadnt moved it. I told tara and she sent me a photo a rabbit eating a computer cable XD it is not the first time Oz has tried for that very phone cable but today he won the battle

After we had dinner I called my dad just wondering a couple of things about changing some plug sockets in the craft room and he was so rude and confrontational that I wondered if i had done something. I put the phone down and a few tears fell. It churned me up and I wasnt ready for that level of hate.

I went out with Jack to the shops to go get a new phone cable. He has picked one up that is coated in metal just in case XD

I came back and mum had texted me apologizing for dad's awful behaviour I told her it wasnt her fault. I said I would see her tomorrow for a walk.

Just been on here looking at skin care for half hour or so, done my diary. Now I will go see my lad. Then I might go on just dance for 10 mins then do my nails.

Tomorrow

just work from home and see mum. Do my work out. About it.