Alpaca Walk

 Evening

I was playing Pokemon til around 10pm by myself in bed. I think I got woke up by Jack coming to bed around 11pm. I woke up at 8am. So nice to not have to get up at 6am

I felt disappointed as I felt tired, achy and my legs hurt. Not a good set up for the day ahead I had got

So i went and cleaned Oz's cage and I cleaned the girls cage out from last week.

I did some drawing and then I had lunch then I got ready to go out

We got to the Alpaca place

and it was just a small private farm really but they must have had about 20 alpacas

I was sooooooooo nervous

so we were with about 3 other couples really and we stood in a barn and we had a talk about alpacas, we were shown the fur and felt it and told what would be happening. It killed me to stand there. There was nothing more I wanted in than moment than a chair.

So we got taken into the farm yard to meet the alpacas - all female

and they harnessed them up and passed us one between two

my parents got a lovely white and silver one, we had a black one that was very dusty from rolling in the dry dirt. We had the one that liked to lead. I let Jack hold the reigns as I didnt feel confident enough. I was so nervous. We all got our alpaca and we took them for a walk round this farm field and then we had photos with them - think it was mine and jack's 3rd photo together XD 

We then got to hand feed them which was a funny sensation and I felt confident doing this. We got to watch them in the field then that was pretty much the experience over with

I was quite tired by this point ^^; but I really enjoyed it. i could tell my parents did. Jack enjoyed it too actually. I was glad to have his support

we drove then to a garden centre like 1min down the road

we walked through to the cafe for a cake and tea, a lady sat us down. We waited for our order to be taken which took about 10 or so minutes

then we waited

and waited

and waited

until I said to jack "this is stupid. for 2 teas and 2 cakes. Why is taking this long" people around us who came in long after us had their stuff. The lady who took our order was cleaning tables, other staff just stood round talking. I feel like our order had gotten forgotten. We waited 30mins for a drink and cake. It was only half full the place was, they werent busy!

so we walked off cus I wasnt giving them my money at this point. Bit disappointing. We looked round house plants and they had some interesting ones but I wasnt feeling it. I was in so much pain by this point.

I got home and Jack made me a brew and I had fruit loaf too. 

I laid on my bed for an hour. I hurt so much. My legs kill

I did dinner, I wasnt that hungry and I didnt want to stand and make food but just got it over with and done really

I am so tired and in lots of pain but it was a nice experience. I think I have a few photos but not looked at them yet.

Jack had a 20sec video on his phone of me feeding an alpaca. I watched it. I havent seen myself on film for a long time. I havent seen a photo of myself for a while. The self hatred was true. I could only see how fat and ugly I am. I wish I hadnt seen it. I want to crawl under a large heavy rock

im gonna have a long soak in the bath now to try help my muscles

tomorrow

going food shop, got food to faff with and bathroom to clean

worked from home, alpaca walk tomorrow

 Evening

I slept okish last night but was awake from 5am again. 

I felt dead. So tired when I got up. My legs hurt to walk on, tired achy, and I just felt like I wouldnt be able to cope with the day. With being at school and looking happy for people. Jack told me to work from home today and I reluctantly agreed.

So Jack went off to work and I ran to the toilet to once again get rid of my stomach content

Oh my god I have been so hungry today but I think its because I have emptied my stomach out twice, I think I am running on empty!!! 

I got set up to do some work. I booted Oz outside but he sat outside the patio door - he never does this. I could not take the look anymore and after half hour I bought him to sit by my feet on plush pad as I worked -_____- he wins. again.

I spent my day pretty much taking it easy. I had 2 naps, had lunch with mummy and did work. I didnt work 4 hours solidly as I literally couldnt. So I spaced my work out throughout the day. I got what I wanted to get done, done. So I was pleased but didnt finish til 4:30! 

Oz has been pretty much with me all day. Loaf

I did 15mins of weights, not by a video, just by myself. It did me in!! I had a bath, then Jack came home, I sheered him and made him go wash

we had dinner and now Jack has gone to game for the first time in weeks! I am just with loaf and I might do some drawing. Then play pokemon in bed by myself ^^

Tomorrow

got Oz's cage to clean out but also the girls cage from last week. 

Then at 1pm we are going to do my dad's 60th birthday experience. We are going on an alpaca walk! Its literally 10 mins down the road. We get there and have a health and safety talk and then be matched up with an alpaca and then go for an hour's walk. 

I am looking forward to it but also a bit apprehensive because I am a bit scared of alpacas and llama cus they can spit and kick! but I am sure these ones are tame and used to the walks. also a bit worried about being on my feet for an hour. It was another reason why I didnt go work today cus I wanted to save my legs for tomorrow. I hope i manage.

Then we are parting from my parents and going to a garden centre 1 min from there so we can go for tea and cake and maybe a house plant ^^ make more of an afternoon of it as we dont get out much!

Randy Rabbit

 Evening

I slept ok but woke up at 5am and kinda just napped from there. 

I felt DEAD when I woke up. My body hurt and it hurt to walk and yeah I didnt feel good. I had used the massager last night and it didnt hurt much at all last night but this morning it really hit. It was hurting my calves to walk where I had put the massager on them. I also had to get rid of my stomach content before leaving the door. I was rough.

I text mum as I usually do when I get to work. I told her I wasnt good today so dont come see me. I nearly didnt go work and work from home instead but I was under the impression that Jack wanted me at work so I went to work.

I got my morning done. I managed to work on my display work a bit more.

I went home and I had lunch and went to bed for 90mins. I did feel better for it. But it still took me a while to get going. I decided to do some yoga. Upon doing yoga did I get raped by Oz. He leapt on, scratched all my arm and bit the back of my arm - that hurt. I was annoyed so I put him outside, he grumped. 

I did 40mins of yoga and then did the sewing I have been putting off for almost 2 weeks ^^; just havent been in the mood to do it. But I got it done. It took far longer than I thought as the job was bigger than I had thought. But its done now. Good achievement 

I had a bath then Jack came home late as he had stayed for warhammer club. We didnt eat til 6:45pm as we had a bath before dinner and Jack was late home too.

Now just doing my diary, I will do a bit of digital drawing then watch RWBY and play pokemon in bed.

tomorrow

last friggin day of term. Thank god. I am so ready for a break. My body is exhausted. But I have managed the term without a sick day whereas last term I managed 12 days of attendance ^^; 

I  will see how I feel tomorrow if I work from home or not. I just feel so done. I am sick of pushing myself for that place.

Should hopefully see mummy tomorrow

I can tell Oz is in a mood with me. As I sit at my lounge desk he usually sits on plush pas by my feet but hes sat on the other side of the room to me. Grumpy bun 

my arms is very scratched up Oz. I am prepared to kiss and make up. 

Couldnt get owt done!

 Konbanwa~~

I even dreamed about being tired and achy. Literally never get a break from it all T^T

I couldnt be bothered with school. I drove into school because Jack didnt feel comfortable driving the car, it felt weird driving to school as Jack usually does it. But we got there 10min early as I was driving XD

School was ok. I had good intentions of getting stuff done today but I just kept getting called away all the time. In the end I gave up. I got some stuff done but I could have got further with it if people just sod off.

I got home and mum brought the girls over, we had lunch and she went to do gardening. I went to bed but soon gave up on that front as the primary school that backs onto my house was having a Jubilee event outside, honestly looked and sounded like a village fair....so freaking loud. So I was out in the garden with mum and then we had a brew and she didnt leave til 4:15pm. So My list of stuff I was gonna do when I got home went out the window. It was gonna be a day of getting nothing done!

as soon she left I made biscuits and did my 20min of exercise, also prepared the filling for Jack's lunch

Jack got home on time and we had Korean noodles, which was good ^^

I went outside to plant some grass seed as mum had prepped the area ready for me to do it. I watered it and I watch Oz get really giddy with all and roll around in the mud where I just worked....it did make me laugh. Like a pig in mud!

I had a bath and now I need to do the photoshop work Jack asked me to do this afternoon! I hope I can get it done fast!

Tomorrow

school

but I might not see mum yet, feel I need a break to get crap done! I shall see

my poor car :(

 Evening

I finally got my Salandit on pokemon shield last night. Literally wasnt going to turn my game off until til I had achieved this! XD

I slept but had a nightmare and woke up at 5am cus the wind coming through the window was blowing on my sweat making me cold -_____- luckily I managed to get that last hour of sleep. I felt exhausted when I woke up and the nightmare was replaying in my mind. a nightmare I have had several several times

I uploaded my snorlax picture on instagram and it got almost 20 likes, my highest yet!! Snorlax loves out there!

School was boring and stressy. Just everyone really stressy including my Jack. i couldnt wait to leave to be honest. It was a stressful environment to be in

so I got in my car and pulled out of school for my car to beep at me, put the service light on and remain in 3rd gear....my car is an automatic and was stuck in 3rd gear. Meaning if I was to stop, I wouldnt be able to pull off again as you can't pull of in 3rd gear.

Stress

panic

nausea 

this was not good

not only did I have the prospect of trying to get home, I now had a broken car, I would need to pay for it and my windows this month, I would need to contact my dad - my biggest worry

I somehow got home. Through pure skill, driving really slow up to lights or going fast through almost red lights. It was very stressful 20min drive. I couldnt wait to get home

I pulled up outside my parents house as I thought it would be more convenient for my dad to look at here. But my mums car was gone - she had already gone over to my house. So I rang her and told her whats up. It was hailing at this point (despite being 17c) so she came to pick me up. Thank you mummy ^^

She rang dad once we got to my house as I didnt have the stomach to ring him - yes he is that difficult and hard work and stresses me out immensely 

dad looked at my car and said it seemed fine so that means I have an intermittent fault. He will need to take it somewhere to get it properly read. My dad read it with his machine but it read fine. so yeah unhappy car and a car I can not trust right now. It will probably do this again. All I can say is thank god it was me driving and not Jack, we wouldnt have got home.

Mum went home whilst dad was checking my car over, she came to pick me up so I could pick my car up and I was dropped off at 2pm. I went straight to bed - exhausted - woke up at 4pm....ouch. I hope I sleep tonight!!

I had a brew and did a few jobs but on the whole did nothing and Jack was home at 5pm. We got stuff ready for stew. I dinner then did a 20min work out which knackered me out maybe I shouldnt have done it as now my body is so worn out and shaky. It wasnt a difficult work out but maybe too much for my stressed out body. After my bath  I had the garden to water which I could have done without but I got it done

I hope my car is ok and its not gonna be mega expensive to fix T^T my car yet I love it

please hope I sleep tonight. Jo is done T^T

tomorrow

stew morning so we get up early, it is korean noodle stew this week

got school, mum is coming over to do some gardening ^^ 

started my next canvas

 so tired

I was up til gone 1am last night with aches, stomach ache, headache. Everything ache -___-

I was tired today and was not in the mood for work but I knew I was on chemical disposal duty.

I got chemicals made, listening to my ipod. It wasnt a bad day.

I got home and mum came to have lunch with me

then I pretty much spent my afternoon in bed or laying on my bed

I was so done. I cant believe how worn out I was. The morning had killed me a bit as I was on my feet all morning really. I tried not to feel guilty for not doing much.

I could also tell my muscles needed a rest so I did gentle exercises for almost half hour then had a bath

Oz has been in practically all day - the house bun that he is >.>

Tomorrow

school and I think mummy coming to have lunch

I am doing the background on a canvas right now so I might get going with that but I do have some sewing to do as well. Didnt do any digital drawing as I couldnt face it really

the canvas is going to be of a picture I saw on instagram someone had drawn of two bun loafs sat amongst bread. I wasnt gonna do it as I have little faith in my ability to paint bread but then I finally thought today "so what if it turns out crap, its the process im suppose to enjoy as its not like i will sell it or give it away" so I am giving it a go weather it turns out crap or not!

Need sleep -___-

Snorlax and Munchlax comic

 Evening

I slept like the dead. Think we turned off our switchs at 10:45pm. I was so dead.

I woke up at 8am and Jack was already bringing Oz in. I went to put the girls out. They seemed fine today, told them that mummy was coming for them.

It was nice not having to go shopping. Also we have been in pyjamas all day!!!! X3 I can not remember the last time I had a pyjama day!

So I lazed round this morning

I went on my laptop as I said to Jack "I couldnt face looking for jobs on monday so I will have a look now as I feel guilty not having a look" and I found a job that would really suit him and its at the same place his mum works! but the application deadline is tomorrow morning!!! D: so I felt bad as this now meant our 'chore free day' wasnt going to be chore free for Jack as he now had an application to do.

I dont know if you know, but it takes on average 2 hours per application. So he went to do that. He was ok about doing it. He said he was going to apply he wasnt doing cus Id asked or anything

I cooked my meat for the week

we had lunch then mum came for the girls. They were happy to see her...I think? XD hard to tell with pigs. but mum was happy to see them thats the main thing. She could see that they had had 5* treatment.

She liked my windows. Dad said they looked good that was the only words he said to me.

I went and laid on my bed for a couple of hours with Hammington. when I got up, Oz was still on plush pad XD Jack had managed to apply to the job and was playing with Theo and Harvey - he asked me yesterday if it was ok. Bless him he always asks X3 

I then and sat finished my pictures of Snorlax/Munchlax and then I did my biscuits, and made a start on dinner so thats currently cooking. 

After dinner I will do some form of exercise but not sure yet what I will do

then it will be usual routine of watching Q2han's video in the bath whilst I have a pamper. I always have a pamper in the bath on sunday before school and they upload on a sunday night so its quite the routine now XD 

Tomorrow

its school

its monday again so we will be in a lab doing chemical disposal. Jack has told Julia she needs to join us this time. so those two will be diluting and disposing of the nitric acid and I will be making litre after litre of sodium carbonate for them to use for the diluting. I will try not kill myself off this week ><

My snorlax pic

next is Litwick