Hot Day Today!
Think today was the hottest day of the year for England
28c =.= i hate the hot weather
i mean i like warm weather but not hot weather
I just feel sorry for the pets as its them who suffers
they cant take their coats off
or play out whilst the sun is strong in the garden so they have to
wait all day before they can play out
its too warm to have them in the house
so they have been playing outside first thing in the morning
and in the evening time
The flags I made
What could I possibly need a red & blue flag for?
the video that explains why~
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uyk6UsUsjD8
I had such fun XD
Today I still felt off, and mum wasn't feeling well ether
I helped her with going to do food shopping but it did me in
i havent done an awful lot today
but I have started my anime quilt wall hanging!
I have stitched 2 panels down ^^
Arranging it took a while
I slept for 2 hours and so did mum
it was nice just having a peaceful house
Tomorrow I have an appointment in the city at 9:25am
going to be lovely getting in to the city at that time
still at least its early and the buses wont be 1000c XD
Im not looking forward to it tho!
I also have work tomorrow
that classroom is stupidly hot
i dont want to go! i'll sweat in that lab coat of mine!!
mate ne~
Ahoy~
Excuse the absence of my blog yesterday but I was out all~ day ><
So today's blog may be a lil' long XD
Yesterday I had to get up at 6:45am 0.0 i was grouchy but excited
I hadnt slept well due to pain but i couldnt wait for the day ahead
My dad took me to Asda carpark at 7:45am where the coach was
It took a while to get there think we arrived at Whitby at 11:30am
we had 1 stop off which I was very grateful for!
It rained on the way there, but as soon as we got into Whitby it stopped
and slowly cleared up :D lucky lucky
So my venture with Lynn in Whitby started~
As you can see it was still a lil over caste when we got there
we went for lunch, I had jacket spud I treated Lynn to lunch seeing as she treated
me to the whole trip!
went around several shops and the market
and we started walking the 199 steps to the Abbey, I had told Lynn that it kills
me off so I didnt think she could do it
she made it up 25 steps to a bench then we turned round
nice view tho
I saw a cafe with the same name as my bunny!!
this was a piece of cake I could honestly die for
I have never had chocolate cake like it!
It came warm and the chocolate icing on top had melted
it had bit of chocolate and fudge on top, amazing
the cafe was lovely I even got blue berries in my water with lemon and a cool straw
I like the decor too, so different and quirky
we walked down the pier and when we got to the end we
sat in the breeze and talked about mental health
strange thing to talk about i know but we both suffer
and I learned from her about anti-depressiants and how lightly
i had been treating my situation. i had been stupid
so yeah it was a beautiful day
I could not believe the weather
oh and I picked up a few bits too. I got cakes from the bakery my family likes
I got a 99p angel to add to karen's christmas present
£1 bow necklace from charity shop
£1 vintage old silver bow brooch (its on my coat and looks amazing!)
£2.99 key chain of the were bunny i collect
I have the mug already but i brought the key ring and the incense sticks yesterday
I got a bunny ornament I have a black and a white one already
they sit on my canvases
And Lynn randomly brought me this glass bunny :D she so kind to me! ><
Lastly I got these flower lights for £19.99
now these I about had a heart attack for
for the last 6+months I have been searching for bedroom lights
But all they ever are are damn battery powered!!! I dont want to mess around with
changing batteries all the time. I looked at outdoor solar lights but they were ether
too expensive or too gardeny so to find these were a god send
I snapped them up straight away I got pink, naturally :3
I have wrapped them around my metal frame headboard on my bed
looks amazing!
We arrived back at Asda at 8:20pm it still felt a bit surreal that I had been
to whitby and back in a day
I had such a lovely time I truly did and being with Lynn was good
she enjoyed it as much as I did
There is a 2 night trip to Isle of Wight during the autumn months
I plan to go with Lynn and her husband may come too
I have never been, they have and said its beautiful
I wish to see these places. for 2 nights accommodation, half board and travel=
£155.....£155 thats crackin' value!!! I am soo going!!!
so thats something Im putting name down for and looking forward to
I got home and Tiffin waited patiently for me to get him out his cage
he sat all nicely because he wanted to come out and see me
thats truly a lovely feeling, mum had let him out to play half the day
so i wasnt concerned about his well being but he still like MY attention
so I sat with him for a good 40mins he sat the entire time on my lap!
Went to bed had nightmares, lovely, so i didnt sleep well
I was shattered and ached everywhere like I had done during the day
so today I have been LAZY im not gonna lie I have been lazy
I even slept during the day for 2+ hours!! just so tired
Mia wanted to see me and I did say yes even tho i hinted i was feeling great
but talking it over with mum i had to let mia down i was just done in
I did a tiny bit of dancing, i havent eaten much today, i have sorted
out my things from yesterday and been on my laptop
tomorrow im not sure what im doing!
Any way excuse the length of this blog!
Good Day Minna-san~
Jozu here~
Today I had a really lovely day, simply but I seemed to have
enjoyed every minute of it
And I refuse to believe its because of the antin-depressiants I started yesterday
no, I am just in a good mood thats all :)
This morning I cleaned out all the pets~ I was a good job done
and I was happy that I was able to do it for Mum as she usually
cleans lily and pinky out and has been doing the little ones too
despite me saying "i'll do them!" she always does them >,<
I did whack my hand very badly it made me yell out but i didnt swear
Jozu never swears or curses ^^
but the pain was going from my hands to my finger tip
very painful now i have a lump and a gash >.>
it'll heal
Then I went straight on to making biscuits for tomorrow's trip
they didnt take me long at all
then I was still in the kitchen preparing the evening's BBQ meat
then I finally had a sit down XD
but doing all that was good for me
I sorted out a few bits for work and other bits
I had to leave for a birthday party at 1:15pm
I got there fine and saw Seth
It was probably the best birthday party i have done simply because
Seth insisted to train me up so i got to a lot more than i usually do
at birthday parties, the main one being I was in charge of the candy floss machine!!!
Yes I got to use it and serve it out ^^ I helped with other things
that made me feel useful instead of just being an assistant
He said I need to have more confidence in myself
which I know I do when it comes to work ><
but it was so nice to be taught by a man and not be insulted,
made to feel stupid, get annoyed, talked down by, patronized
as this is how i was brought up with my dad
its quite surreal to have a man being so nice to me whilst being taught
I came home and did a bit of dancing straight away
and hoola hooping outside too which was nice~
I also re-potted my bedroom plant; the one I rescued at a
garden center on Mother's Day, i brought a new pot for it yesterday
I added buttons on top for extra decoration~
I cooked the BBQ for my family and brother's girlfriend too
Now Im just on here and gonna retire for the night with my pets
and my book, after I have sorted out my things for tomorrow
as tomorrow I am going to Whitby!!!!!
freakin' Whitby! I am so happy
I am going with Lynn and her and husband have paid for me to go ><
Ive baked some cookies for us and I want to buy her lunch as a thank you
I have to be at the coach for 7:45am tho ><
Konbanwa minna-san
Today I uploaded a dance I feel like I have been working
on for ages now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFtdAtLcCU8
feels good to get it done and to say i only uploaded it
a few hours ago it already has 50 views ^^
Today I sat and drew this morning
Im drawing a yoga picture for my yoga teacher Karen-san
shes lovely and I just want to do it for her
im not that far yet as I havent been able to do any more
since this morning ><
Then I had lunch outside and went out with mum
we went to the same shops as I went to with Mia yesterday :/
a bit annoying but I knew it was coming XD i dont mind really
then we went to the office and I knew I was gonna be quick this
week as I only needed one box, I also got told I can do
a 2 hour bday party tomorrow so I took the job ^^
It was nice to see everyone
Seth-san was showing me this really random game which im so gonna google
"petals of the rose"
bazaar game I couldnt understand and nether could Dan
Dan I told him "your quiet this week"
Dan "you think so?"
Me "year cus last week you were really irritating"
me and my big mouth
i turned round grabbed my box and went to walk to my car
when i was getting tickled and jabbed by Dan!!!! infuriating man!
how the hell did he know i was ticklish damn it =>.<=
then from there we went to a home store and picked up some bits
mainly for the garden but we also got new yoga mats
they are like luxury, they are soooooo padded so they feel much better on the bones
Mine is pink mum's is grey
then I came home and rested and went out for a walk with mia
she wanted a walk i really really couldnt be bothered
but i said to myself " dont be a fat lazy girl and go!! dont let mia down"
i was tired tho my legs hurt >.> we talked mainly about yesterdays walk with helina...
now Im home just sorting a few bits out on my laptop
and id like to draw but i havent danced properly lately
so i need to practice for next week!
Oh and as of today I am back on anti-depressiants......so no happy right now
i managed to come off them for 2 weeks but im started to crack
im not coping i know im not and i have told mum this a few times
and this morning she said
"i could tell you werent coping, your not the same person your awful,
and i wanted to tell you but i knew how much it meant to you coming
off tablets but i think you need them, i was gonna wait til you broke
but i thought til would be too late by then"
yeah cus i am at breaking point soon
so i gave in and took my pills. I HATE NEEDING MEDICINE
but im becoming my true self which is a horrible person
i am naturally a horrible spiteful selfish person
learning that thats how i am isnt nice and i decided to change myself
as i was upsetting my family, well what can i say - i take after my dad
so i bottle it up and put on a different persona, one people like
but when i am not feeling mentally strong my persona comes
crumbling down to revel the ugliness inside
so i need to be strong for the sake of those around me
oh and here's my lamp by the way~
Good Evening
Im currently trying to chill out in front of my laptop
after going for a walk with helina and mia and hearing the
utter S*** about helina's so called "relationship" with her Fiance
It does my head in so bad that i just want to shake her and whack him
I've told my friends and my mum that if i was ever to be in a relationship
such as hers to shake me and tell me to dump him!!!
maddening
Today anyway I sat and stitched the rest of my scraps together
making this rectangle of material
I now have no idea what I could make with it
so any suggestions would be nice
Im sure something will come up and I can use it
I just wanted to do it, its only scraps so nothing lost
I did a lil bit of dancing today but saved my energy as i knew id be
going for a walk in the evening
Mia texted to see if I want to go shopping with her at 1:15
so of course I went I brought a few things, for bargin prices!!!
This red dress, is more a winter thing hence why it was in the sale
just £9!!! Its new and everything, its incredibly heavy as the fabric is thick
and it is also lined!! I was over the moon.
I brought this face cream that was reduced to £3 honey and peach X3
Also this mascara I have always wanted to try but its usually £7+
and I didnt want to pay out that but it was reduced to under £5
so I thought "it aint gonna get any better" so i brought it ^^
I also brought 2 new bras, 1 was £5 and the same as I brought last week
well if it fits and is soft and only £5 i dont mind having 2 after all who's gonna see em?
The other one was only £2....£2 i dont think you can even buy a bra at Primark for £2
so I was well happy with my bargins
came home had a brew with Mia and a chat then she went home whilst
I had dinner with my family then went for a walk with helina and mia
now Im home relaxing but sorting a few things out on my laptop
in preparation for tomorrow
Tomorrow I have got to go to bloody office again =.=
Konbanwa~
this morning I woke to my mum shouting
"Spider!!!! Spider!! can someone come!? can someone come get it!?"
yeah she hates them big style XD
I have been doing sewing this morning
I have almost finished a whole patch of those leftover scraps I was using
but what I will do with them I have no idea
I dont know what to make with them :/
I did some dancing too
Today I weighed myself and was disgusted in myself
and have put myself on a strict diet til now til the convention >.>
Its not because I think "my god im so fat" i know thats not the reality
but its mentally, i struggle mentally i guess it must be a bit how
anorexic suffers must feel, as i get my head having a go at me each and every day
for what i have eaten, how much and how much i weigh
so when the scales arent kind to me the worse and more frequent such thoughts become
and since coming off anti-depressiants it has made my mental state....hard i guess
I decided to do some more exercise too so i will make sure to get sweaty
in dance practice and to walk everyday, i went for a walk today
anyway I finished a book last night and brought the next one
im super addicted! something I thought id never say about reading XD
I had work which went well kids enjoyed it
and got all the work done even if some of them are spoilt little brats >.>
I have been trying to print off a tax return form and got stressed out
big time with it as i dont get any help not that i asked for it
i have no understanding of tax what so ever
so i got a bit upset
but i have yoga in half hour that will relax me~
See what tomorrow brings~
I took a photo of a poppy in the garden
Oha~
Last night I was looking at photos of me and my friends
I realized that I have high cheek bones
My dad has high cheek bones so thats where I get it from
I have never realized, I googled it but got bored
but apparently it said "those with high cheeks bones and big eyes
are attractive in a male's eyes" yeah right >.>
cant say i see the cue of guys lining up outside my front door
thank god!! XD
I saw my lamp lit up last night it was so pretty im so pleased with it
im still waiting for my brother to photograph it tho
This morning I started dancing Angerme's new song "ups and downs"
but I kept getting blind spots, i couldnt see the dance so I ended
up giving up until ether more live videos are out or the dance shot is released
but I hate waiting for it!! I think I found another dance to keep me
quiet in the mean time
I made dinner for my family
heart shaped burgers and chips
all made from scratch~
i was pleased and everyone liked it
much to my relief
I started sewing all my scraps, i went searching in my wardrobe
for labels out of my clothes, some are interesting ^^
so i got quite far. Lynn rang and shes gonna have a rummage round
for some scraps for me to add to my project
she was filling my in about sunday, as this sunday im going...
Whitby!!! Woo!! a coach journey with Lynn to the seaside ^^
such happiness, i get to get away from home on a sunday
and im going somewhere i love :D
Ive been sitting with the pets outside today
i sat with mum and ate the last piece of cake with her
tiffin sat between her legs, giving her attention not me >.>
we had a tiff so i think he was avoiding me
mum says "hes not that smart" oh but he is
Basically Tiffin has a thing for the little girls
my guineas Millie and Alice
he is always sniffing their hutch and following me
when i go to put them outside in the run
he follows me back when i take them back to their hutch
today in the garden i bent down to him with the girls on my lap
i let him sniff Millie then I said "ok you've had your sniff move on"
so I put my hand over Millie to protect her as I dont trust Tiffin
thats when it kicked off, he went mad
growling jumping up to attack like rabbits do in the wild
he was biting actually jumping at me to bite me
here's the damage
my left wrist, it stung for a while
but what can you do, at least the girls didnt get hurt
he sat then guarding them as he usually does
i tell him "theyre not yours y'know"
tomorrow I want to do some more sewing
then I have work~
GooD dAy AlL~
Today I woke up just in time to see mummy off
she had an early start - leaving me in charge of all the pets :)
I had them inside due to it being wet outside
the little girls really enjoyed having a run around in the hall :3
Tiffin still played outside tho XD
This morning I finished my lamp
it took a few hours but its done and my brother said he would photograph
it for me so please wait :)
Im happy with it and cant wait to see it lighting up my room tonight!
I had work which i realized was my final week at that school
the staff had had a word with the bad kids from last week
so those kids were better behaved one even said sorry for his behavior last week
so this week different kids decided to misbehave =.=
but it was magnets and all kids enjoy magnets
and i quizzed them at the end to see if they had been listening to me
and it turns out they did listen!! shock!
I came home and rested for a lil while
as I had zumba to go to
but before hand I had a piece of yesterday's chocolate cakey~
it tasted better today!!
Tomorrow I plan to start some patch work with the scraps
i found last week
here's my nails I painted at 10pm last night
suppose to be roses
Good Evening
Dom never even messaged me....
that boy is seriously in my bad books
buying a car from my dad and not telling me how his
first ever journey in a new car and by himself went
my parents asked "did he get home safe? did he get on with car ok?"
what do i say "oh by the way my friend cant be arsed to text me"
right peed me off
seriously now i aint speaking to him til i see him in July
He has time to create art work for Rose and text her none stop
but cant tell me he got home ok
he could have had an accident and be hospitalized for all i know >.>
Anyway today is father's day woopee >.>
well my dad chose to go car boot in the morning for his father's day
how exciting!! my mum and brother went
but i wasnt gonna waste my time, you should see the tat they have at car boots
i like second hand stuff but that stuff is just rubbish, seriously
So I used to time alone very productively ;)
I dances, I danced so much that I was sweating
you know when you've worked hard when you have sweat between your boobs XD
I recorded a video a friend is gonna edit for me
You can see that im sweating on the video!
sweaty Jozu works harder!!
Then I was watching a few tutorials online about Japanese cooking
And then I went to bake a cake for my dad
a chocolate and apple cake, which is very sickly even by my sweet tooth standards!
good huh, i made the shapes with white chocolate then i put them in the freezer
pealed em off the clingfilm and stuck em on the icing ^^
I then went over to my granny's house as I had the lovely job of not only
setting up her Kindle but also showing her how to use it...
I wrote a load of notes down for her previously, hoping they will save me
going over and helping 100 more times
but actually she did pretty well as Kindles are really easy to use
so i hope she gets on with it ok if not i guess i dont mind helping again
came back and did a bit more dancing whilst my family went out
gosh i was tired so i rested
then I started doing my lamp, its coming along nicely and I plan to
go continue it after I have blogged~
Tomorrow I have work at a local school
filled with brats who cant sit on a seat properly
i have noticed that i am struggling to cope with out
my anti-depressiants
sadly
but im not giving in yet
Evening~
Ahhhh tsukareta
Busy day of socializing, or what other wise be called
a "normal 23 year old's day"
but to me its shattering
This morning I had the pets to clean out then I knew Dom-kun
was on his way over at 10:30ish
So I didnt get a lot of time to myself but I got a few things done online
Dom came over we sat and talked an hour then headed into a town
for a pub lunch - I had pulled BBQ wrap ^^
and we went round a few shops I got a guinea ornament I plan
to give to mum at christmas time
Dom got a couple of books, being out together gave me the chance to tell him things
i told him I liked being with him and if this 18 year old girl he fancies, doesnt
want him then I will have him. He went quiet and told me I had made him
feel awkward XD I really got the impression there and then he has no
feelings for me so thats it now Ive said my peace im not saying
anymore as I am not looking like a needy girl
I simply asked him what he did with the t-shirt and charm I made him
just to find out that he had done something with them, he had, i went on to saying
"did you tell Rose I made em for you?"
"yes and this isnt a competition"
"i know im not in competition i was simply wondering what she thought as its
doctor who and I know she likes doctor who. I am in no way playing
a competition for you with an 18 year old"
"if you say so"
I do say so infact i am now actually peed off and hurt
as he still texts other people more than me and they get INSTANT replies
i have to WAIT A WHOLE WEEK
why!? I have known him the longest out of this Rose girl and his friends
I care the most for him and have the most respect for him
and I feel like I'm just there in the background
he also told me basically that i have the mind and body of a 14 year old
course I laughed it off but it actually hurt
He went for a test drive in his car i showed him where to practice
i was in the car with him it was strange but I was supportive
he dropped me off home and I asked to give me a text when he
gets to helina-chan's boyfriend's house as its a few miles away
and he hasnt driven for months
......did he text me.....no he sure as hell didnt
so im mad now and hurt
i feel like the closer i move to him the worse he treats me
its saddens me and even tho i have told him all this it doesnt seem
to be sinking in with him
im sick of being soft so thats it now forget it
i'll keep him at arms length i wont text him til a week later
it annoys me as he says "im busy im working" i totally 100% respect that
until i found out how much he texts rose - a girl he known a month
and that hes been producing free art work for her which obviously takes time
and he doesnt have any time for me - his 7 year long friend
so thats it now im hurt
not hurt because he doesnt love me i can deal with that
im hurt as i feel less than a friend to him, when he matters so much to me
next time i see him will be convention i dont know how im gonna be with him
Mia-chan texted to say she needed help with a dress she wanted to wear tonight
so i saw dom off and had mia over
she wanted a dress turning into a t-shirt for tonight which i did
she was happy and saw my guineas which she loved
it was nice to see her and i she heard me rant about dom
she went at 4:30pm
since then i have been online, stretching, shower, dinner
and would like to dance practice now~
Good Day~
Jozu has been busy looking at craft sites
wondering what to make next~
I have decided to make a lampshade
never done one before :)
Today I woke up late 9:10am, after a bad night's sleep
it annoys me when i wake up after 8:30am >.>
This morning I did my invoices for work which need to be in next week
and was online looking at craft sites for a while
Oh and I thought I'd do a lil fact file of me, id I were an idol
I used this template from Morning Musume's fact files
- Name: Jozunii
- Nicknames: Jozu-chan Jozu
- Birthdate: February 7th 1992
- Birthplace: Nottinghamshire, England
- Bloodtype: O
- Height: 165 cm (5'5")
- Hobbies: Drawing, Dancing, sewing, crafting, reading Manga, watching anime, seeing friends, learning Japanese, learning Japanese culture, Idols!
- Special Skill: teaching myself to dance
- Motto: "I shall do my best"
- Things she won't lose: Sewing, patchwork and craft design
- Dislikes: hair mouse, foamy things, spiders
- Favorite Food: Pasta, omelet, cakey!
- Least Favorite Food: Shell fish
- Favorite Word: Prince
- Favorite Japanese Word: Ganbarimasu
- Favorite Colors: Pink, yellow and black
- Favorite Animals: Rabbits, guinea pigs and hamsters
- Favorite Animes/Mangas: Pandora Hearts, Natsume yuujin chou, Black cat, Nurarihyon, Lovelive!
- Favorite male artist:Shou (Alice Nine)
- Lucky Day: 29th February
- Favorite Morning Musume Songs: Tokimeku Tokimeku, ookii Hitomi,Aki Urara, Wagamama Ki no Mama Ai no Joke, Seishun Kozou ga Naiteiru, Yuugure wa Ameagari
- Other Favorite Groups: Fairies, Weather Girls, Manominorisa, Passpo, AnnaS, Yumemiru Adolescence, Doll Elements
- Looks Up To: Tanaka Reina, Suzuki Airi
This afternoon I went to the office, mum drove me there
it was nice to see everyone even if i was the only girl there
and Dan is infuriating at times!!! That man!! I could punch him!
I mean i like Dan like I do everyone at work and I know he's only playing with me
buts so annoying, if we were at school he'd be one of those friends id be
scraping and arguing with. but because we're in the work place and he's
older than me I have restraint myself. David wanted to punch him too XD
So I had a good time at work even tho I was only there half hour
David said Dan should go out with me....the guy is 11 years older than me
not to mention he'd drive me insane and hour a week is enough!
Then Dan said I should go out with David cus we get along so well
its only because we are both 92' babies so we have a lot in common
but he has a girlfriend and he's not my type
why is everyone trying to match me up lately!?
From work we headed to Dunelm as mum wanted a few bits
I just got a cheap lamp shade then we came home
I uploaded a dance too
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmEVJUdeNLE
tomorrow Dom-kun is coming
I feel a real nervousness about it
which is odd, why do I feel nervous about a friend I've known 7 years?
