Today I woke up just before 9am
I had slept bad again waking up in awkward positions
so when I did finally get up I realized I had a pulled muscle in my neck =.=
I decided to start the day with sewing
and I finished my bunting well kinda, i still need to sew buttons and bells on
I sat with the piggies as well because its rained all day = indoor play
Tiffin had a run in with the squirrel yesterday and today the bloody thing
came after him again!!!
it scared me how close they were I shouted out my bedroom
mum was in the kitchen and went out to them
the squirrel is so cocky tho it just stood there, its because
its burying it's nuts round the garden so it doesnt want tiffin after them
I made sure tiffin was ok told him what a brave boy he was for not running away
later on today i caught the squirrel on the fence near tiffin staring down at him
tiffin had his ears angled at the squirrel so i went out and shooed it off
i was forever looking out of windows today checking on tiffin
i was so annoyed at it going after tiffin, what would happen if i couldnt get there
quick enough? or if tiffin decided to give in?
My brother was on about shooting the squirrel and in my moment of hate for the creature
i agreed, never really meant it
later on i was sat at my sewing machine
i heard a loud noise
i shouted "what the hell was that!?"
my brother "my gun"
"oh, did you hit it?"
brother "yeah"
I thought "no way did he get it first time. no way would he even shoot it"
so i thought id get up to see if tiffin was ok, to see if he was startled by the gun shoot
and thats when i freaked out
i saw this squirrel dying. it was trying to walk away but slowly failing
i shouted my brother 3 times, but he had gone down stairs
my mum at that moment had flushed the toilet so she couldnt hear me
she came out the bathroom, she saw me in a state
mum "whats the matter!?"
me "mum its dying!!! its gasping for life!!
mum "i dont want to see it! i cant believe he got it!! come here Jo"
so me and mum cuddled on her bed i was a bit upset at this point
i actually thought i was gonna be sick at any moment
i was just shook up, i did not expect to see that at all
my brother came in and asked if we were ok and if we were mad at him
i told him i wasnt i just hadnt been ready for that, i thought he was joking about getting it
hes got a good bloody aim. he said it was hard to look at its face through the scope.
im glad its gone because i was worried for tiffin's safety and the pigs
but i just believed it would eventually go if we kept scaring it away
so that drained the life outta me
i made dinner not that i felt like eating it but i was determined to get it
all down me since i hadnt eaten a decent meal all day
my thoughts on food have been bad lately =.=
my mum got a phone call from granny's friend. she had been to see granny
relieving us of visiting her in the afternoon
her friend told us that granny wasnt good and was told she had 3 days...
my family left for grannys, i felt tired and i felt like i couldnt cope with much more
not tonight anway, and said id go tomorrow
whilst they were out lynn phoned to say her husband has gone into hospital
she isnt well ether
then i tried to talk to ed as hes been calling and i havent been picking up
so we went to skype and that lasted 10 whole minutes as my family
came home and mum was upset. mum doesnt usually get upset
so i quickly said my goodbyes to ed and went to see mum
mum said granny wasnt good and can feel the end is near
it made me upset, well actually i tend to get upset when i see mum upset
its just a reaction i have i guess
so i said id go tomorrow morning with her. mum is canceling her work tomorrow
to go see granny.
im finding life hard. im struggling to find any joy and happiness at the moment
like theres no light at the end of the tunnel
i know it will get better it just feels like a long way away
anyway im off to go sit with my pets then go bed
finally bed
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