Last night I took 3 Calms tablets
and had a sleep tea
I havent had sleep tea in ages Id given up on it and it tastes horrid
so i avoid it
I made a mug up last night
my brother says it smells like a bin (after he'd sworn twice)
my dad said it smells like a tramp's arse hole
i have to drink it!!
but i think it did help as I fell asleep just before midnight
woke up at 7:30am feeling tired but its those calms tablets they
make you groggy at first
I picked a wasp up by the wings today to get it out my brother's room
he HATES them makes him swear and everything
he told me to F off twice when he saw what I did XD
absolute shock and disgust XD
He says his friend is coming over this week to bleach his hair and dye it silver
i was quite envious as when i was 17 i really really wanted white hair
i had really short hair at the time, kinda like a pixie cut so it would
have looked sick but i didnt do it in the end as it would have wrecked my
hair and not to mention the roots would have been annoying
I danced this morning
got sweaty quickly as its been humid all day its been horrible really
i went for a shower then pretty much worked on my quilt
its all one piece now! took me ages to applique the flowers onto it but
done it now! so it now needs a border, feel im on the home stretch of finishing it
worked on it for a few hours today anyway
this is fabric i ordered from Korea for the border
cleaned up for mum
went online and checked a few things
no one got back to me about dance lessons
theres a film i want to see, an actual film XD
cant remember the last time i saw i film!
its called Your Name
knew about it from last year but came across it again today and want to see it
its on Netflix but when i checked my brother's Netflix it wasnt on
so i believe its just the American one its on
well annoying
the DVD is £8.35 /:
not sure whether to buy it or not really
Adam insisted on seeing me today
before he did i danced and got hot and sweaty
it was good tho as i blasted out music :D
see adam...
ahhh that was difficult
he came and he said "you have no emotions again"
i just kept pushing away and away
i couldnt cope and i told him and i told him hes making this difficult for me
but i could see he couldnt understand just what was going off in my head
when i dont understand or confused or unsure i withdraw and thats all i wanted to do
but he kept on
he said "i cant feel your walls going up"
he tried to kiss me and said "see, why did your back arch like that?"
not my fault i was tense
he has no idea
and i tried to tell him and he said "you cant bury your head, you say you fight through life but you dont fight whats going off in your head"
it is true that
i told him "i cant understand why you still bother with me"
he said "because i love you, why do you even say that? do you want me to go?"
i said "sometimes i want everyone away other times i dont want people to give up on me, im so conflicted and dont understand whats going off"
but it was nice that he stood up against me instead of letting it pan out
he said "you are hard work today"
i thought i must have been for him to say that
i did eventually relax a bit tho and tried to enjoy his company
dont know whats up with me
its not his fault i just wish i was normal and had normal emotions so i could work stuff out
he left, he walked to mine and walked home
he hasnt done that in a very long time
usually im ferrying him around
he says his parents have been asking about my whereabouts XD
cus im usually up and ive only been up once for 2 hours in the last 2 weeks
not sure what to do tonight might read manga
which is what ive been doing past few nights just on my bed
i grab pandora hearts im on vol17 next
tomorrow i believe i am seeing lynn
my god i havent seen lynn in over a year easy
shes currently having her chemotherapy and has lost her hair
so it will be a shock to see her but i just want to see her
were going to a market
i dont need anything i just want to go see her :D
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