first day back T^T

 Evening

I struggling to sleep last night. But I did eventually sleep. It was hard to sleep with tummy ache. 

This morning, yup that anxiety was there and strong. I could not get off the toilet......

School

I felt like spirit had instantly been zapped the moment I passed reception. ugh teachers.....

I got to the prep room and was swarmed with teachers

its kinda like when you bring a bag of bread to a pond and the ducks come over. Its like that. Teachers see a technician and flock.

I felt very overwhelmed 

people

noise

it was too much and I had such a strong need to flee the school

but then 8:30 happened and they all left for the hall including Jack and Julia

I was left alone with my jobsheet and head phones. I calmed down, I caught my breath.

I got my jobs done, in the quiet. It was an alright day to be honest

then I came home and had jobs to do, mum showed up, Oz kept legging it out the room. Hes a bugger. Mum stayed and helped me with car stuff. She was no actual help but nice to have the company whilst doing it.

We just need to get up early to tax the car online.

I did get £17 back on my insurance tho! how does that work? how is my newer car less to insure than that banger!?

She left and then I did 55mins of yoga, I felt much better for it. I think I had been quite tense today to say the least. I made Jack's lunch too as I thought he would struggle for time tonight what with gaming but turns out gaming isnt on. Wish I had known! rushed round for nothing. But I am kinda glad if I am honest. 

I got my clothes ready for tomorrow, watched some youtube videos, added my new art work on instagram and redbubble

https://www.redbubble.com/i/sticker/QQTwins-by-LunatiqueDesign/122198397.EJUG5

my next art work SHOULD be halloween. However I have zero ideas right now. None. So unlike me. Usually I have a halloween idea and cant wait to bloody do it but I just cant think what to do. I have plenty of other art pieces to get on with but I should halloween first so its done on time.

I got my new boots in the post. Listed as 'new' and 'never been worn' clearly have been worn. They were only £20 but not the point. So I emailed photos over and the person said she was  selling on behalf of her daughter so didnt realise and gave me £10 refund! I was happy with that. I wasnt expecting anything but I wanted to point out she wasnt being fair to people.

We had dinner. dinner = tummy ache

so now I have tummy ache til tomorrow morning. I didnt eat all my dinner just cus I was getting pains whilst eating.

I also have another purple lump 'down there' had one a few weeks back which was like a big ass blood blister. Got another! saw a red lump yesterday and I just thought it was an ingrowing hair, didnt think much of it. But this evening when I got undressed....how have not seen that all of today!! it was dark purple the size of a pea. Freaking huge. it BLED my god did that mother bleed. No puss. Just endless blood like its attached to vein. I felt sick.

so thats sore with a plaster on. I usually dont bother with plasters, ever. However where it is, its trying to heal and there for fuses with my pants....so each time I go toilet I rip the scab off by pulling my pants down. yeah....not nice.

I am gonna have a hot chocolate and watch RWBY we have 2 episodes left!

tomorrow

school

but whats more, is its new car day! he's on the car awaiting me~

we need to get up early to tax it online, and also to get to a fuel station before work. he's on vapours here

That was summer holidays 2022

 Evening

i struggled to sleep last night. No surprise really as I was aching from painting and also had a very busy mind. So we got up and I took yet more pain killers -______- we were only up til 11pm tho :) 

I slept ok from there but woke up at 8am because Jack was chasing Oz out the bedroom XD he had made a break for it XD the git.

This morning I got my stuff ready for school, hoping it would maybe help with some anxiety. It did not. My stomach has been in knots and hurting everytime I eat. So I asked Jack if he would come on a walk with me as it was sunny but not hot it was perfect ^^ I felt better for getting out.

Mum came to join us for lunch then talked to me for a little bit before popping to the shops. She had wrote on her calendar that I was back to school today so she was happy to find out that I was still home today XD 

she left, and despite Jack telling me to have an easier day today,  I couldnt. Massively restless.

So I painted the handle on the garage as mum gave me back my paint and now the door is done and looks so much better~ 

I then washed my wheelie bin, it was suppose to be black but was no longer black as it got covered it crap when we had the pavement done. As the guys came  on bin day and my bin happened to be too close to where they were working. So I cleaned my bins. I used detol. I completely forgot that you need to wear gloves with detol otherwise you get chemical burns...I thought the stinging was from the hot water. But long after I had finished the job, my hands stung! they still sting now to be honest. My own stupid fault. I then planted grass seed in the dirt Jack had levelled as we need grass to grow before the weeds take hold.

at this point, even tho Jack had chosen to come out and do jobs besides me

he told me to STOP

he was right. He worries. I do too much. I know I do.

He could see I was struggling to sit still so he suggested I have Hammington time whilst he lay next to me on his switch. I did that for 90mins and drifted in and out of sleep. It was good to be honest. I needed that and didnt realise how tired my body was. I bleed that adrenal gland dry, I live off my adrenaline.

I then got up to make a cake so I would have something to snack on at school. I didnt rise that well but I think its cus I used coconut flour instead of self raising. I did try to make it 'healthier' and used wheat cereal and oats as the bulk of it. Does resemble a heavy brick XD I like making cakes without weighing anything

I made dinner which was alright

then I had a quick pamper and had a bath, when I got out I pampered Jack XD he let me ^^ he didnt protest. He laid his head on a pillow on my crossed legs on the lounge floor and I used acids and scrubs on his face. Hes in the bath now washing it off. I hope he feels smooth after it. I have sorted him out a face sheet to do afterwards~

trying to make us feel fresh for the new school year. I like how he joins in with me.

Oz used the opportunity to leg it out the room. I swear I leave the door open 10 seconds and hes gone. Hes going to miss us tomorrow. He has literally had us to himself for almost 5 weeks. Hes been ether in the garden or lounge. Which ever he chose. He has been a house bun really. So to be locked up for almost 5 hours probably wont sit well with him tomorrow bless him. I know I will come home to find a savaged hutch -_____- he does have paddies.....spoilt loaf 

so yeah that was my last day off work. Last day of the summer holidays 2022

I got a lot done. I mean so did Jack but some of my highlights were;

painted garage door (after waiting a year), painted the porch door, 2 massages, cleaned the house, had friends over, smear test done for 3 years, hair cut, made mia's wedding card and birthday card, completed my christmas and birthday presents for this year, cleaned the garage out, tried new recipes, went out for jack's birthday, brought a new chair, BBQ with jack's family, sorted cars out, had the pigs, sent Miho a baby shower box. God yeah I got A LOT done in those weeks! I am glad as I sure as hell did not wanna waste this time off!!

Tomorrow

stew morning so up at 6am to put stew on and then go school. School SHOULDNT be too bad as its insec day and I always skip all the whole staff meetings! and therefor I am totally alone in the school! so its shouldnt be too bad. I can not be arsed to talk to people.

How was your holiday?

yeah good. yours?

good thank you.

no one actually cares about each others holidays. It is a pointless exchange I have zero energy for. So I am gonna try and avoid people. Thats my mission tomorrow!

then mummy is coming over for lunch, then shes helping me with my car stuff. As I need to get rid of the corsa and start up with my ford fusion. I had a meltdown about it the other day but I feel better about it now and knowing that she will be with me helps even more! Then we can finally use our new car! Jack is going halves on the car with me so this will be his first car! up to now hes been using MY car, which is fine and I offered to buy the car this time but thought id offer if he wanted to have ownership this time round and he does ^^

so hopefully tomorrow wont be too bad??? Just gotta get the day done

next holidays is half way through october. september will be stressful and busy.

been busy painting doors

 Evening

I just kept running out of time to do this -____- but on the plus side I have transferred like 20+ photos on to my laptop to share on here ^^

So lately I have just been stressed out with car stuff - now have 2 cars on my drive

I have had my pavement lowered so I can get two cars on my driveway - currently waiting on a date to get some of my driveway tarmaced. 

I had been painting the garage door frame purple - next is painting the actual door

been helping Jack with the garden - mammoth job its been hes literally landscaped the garden

and yeah just busy -_____- I was so exhausted

I keep having apocalyptic dreams, I can only assume this is because school is starting soon.

I have felt dead after my massage, as I usually do, however I have not been able to rest like I usually do. I also have clean my house top to bottom

Tomorrow I am gonna paint the garage door, finally. Been wanting to do it for literally 1 whole year! I can not wait to see it not white and chipped. The door isnt great but we discovered today the frame is quite knackered as its rotten! 

Jack said his friends have asked if we want to meet them at pudding pantry tomorrow at 1pm. I am literally gonna see how I feel and how far I am with the garage door as that is more important to me than some ice cream. I have said I will go but yeah I am gonna see how I feel tomorrow.

only 2 days left of my holidays T^T

I gave myself a real good pamper tonight, I have made ice cream and thats in the freezer, I hope to do some digital art as I havent had chance last 2 nights

oh here is the side I did recently of my porch door, it was hard to get far enough back but you get the idea. Its no longer white and old- peopley

had 3 hours of mummy time

 Evening

I couldn sleep well last night I was up til gone midnight but it was ok. I was just achy really. Then the alarm went off at 7:30am as Jack insisted on having an alarm for him choosing to go into work ugh

We put the stew on anyway and Jack got ready to go to work. He made me promise not to over do stuff, not to paint doors, not to garden, to wash up, if I saw mum - not to go out for long. He needed me to rest ><

I was left to it 

so I did a good 30min work out, I was dripping wet! I then enjoyed a nice hot soak in the bath~

Once I recovered I sat making Mia a birthday card. I enjoy making cards i find it very relaxing. I did a good job too, took me a while but I didnt care I just enjoyed myself

Mum came over for lunch and she stayed for 3 hours!! we just chatted, nether of us could be bothered to go out and we are going TK MAXX on friday. 

Jack came home whilst mum was still, she was leaving soon but we took her outside to inspect our garden work she was very pleased with it all ^^

it was good to catch up with her after 4 days of not seeing her. Also it made me SIT and take it easy. She said it also made her sit XD

Then Miho text me to say they found out they are having a baby girl! I am so thrilled for them. Its always the best if you can have a boy and a girl, also shes really girly so I didnt want her to miss out on doing girly things with a daughter

I sat with Jack and then we did dinner which was thai curry we put on in the slow cooker this morning, it was really good

Jack asked if he could game with Theo tonight as some war hammer game has had an update. I said it was fine as hes been working hard and its the holidays! He usually games with his brother on a weds but they cant make it tonight.

It has just been raining, Oz has decided he wants to play out now its stopped raining. Wet mud yay -____-

so I am by myself tonight which is fine

tomorrow

Jack said we can maybe paint the garage door but we shall just see how we are both feeling. I am excited tho to get rid of that horrible pealing white paint door that came with the house.

Right I shall do some digital drawing~ its coming along well.

like actual landscaping here

 Evening

I slept ok, I just woke up in the night needing a wee but refused to get up for one, then woke up at at 7am massively needing a wee so I was forced to get up >.> Jack had just got up to let Oz out

I hurt today and feel a bit unwell, all because I done too much ^^;

what a morning tho...

we decided to get on with out day

Jack helped me masking tape the porch door, then we went outside and talked garden landscaping ,I helped him get set up as he helped me get set up.

I sanded down the porch door, get it a wipe down, then began to paint the door

Then I called Jack in for a short tea break. I then went outside with him and supporting him with the garden, it looked such hard work...I held the umbrella over him to protect him from the sun, I on the other hand am quite tanned. Jo tans not burns. He was sweating, panting, red faced. Yeah....it looked hard work digging up grass, rockery, throwing huge rockery stones around and digging so much clay earth. We live in a ex-mining village our soil is 100% dark orange coloured clay. So its very heavy and hard to dig through.

When we was putting some of the earth back I went inside for a bath. I was sweating, gotta love that humidity. Then I let Jack have the bath. I then made him lunch. But my body was screaming at me and shaking. I was starving too. Like 1:30pm and I hadnt eaten!!

we ate lunch then I passed out on the bed for 90mins I needed to not feel my body for a while

then I had a brew with my tired Jack

I then finished Mia's wedding card, its finally done and I am happy with it.

I sat and then did the dinner somehow cus honestly I felt so dead and could have easily just ate toast for dinner. Jack helped but yeah I was just too tired. I havent exercised today as my body has had enough. I am just gonna sit and be quiet and do some drawing. Oz is outside investigating our work

tomorrow

Jack is gonna help me put the stew on then go into work T^T I will miss him. Mum says she will see me at some point as I havent seen her since friday! I am not sure what we will do yet. I know she is busy in the morning so in the morning I might exercise or paint some of the door or I might paint some stuff outside - a tree stump and some water pipes. I will miss my Jack tho.

I just hope we both sleep, were both tired and achy! 

the depressing thing is,the difficult garden section we are on we have only done a quarter of it...

Been into work on my holidays...

 Evening

I completely forgot to do this yesterday! Like never even thought about it

But yesterday was nothing major really. I helped out in the garden with Jack. Then for the first time ever we sat at my craft desk and did art together for an hour. And I had a good hour's sleep. It was a pretty chill day. I did do an hour of exercise ^^

I couldnt sleep tho. Just far too wired. So I was up til 1am drawing~ I slept after that and woke up at 8am

So this morning

ugh this morning

I had my 3 yearly smear test. Yup I had something inserted 'up there' it is most unpleasant. I dont know how people choose to put stuff up there for 'pleasure' as I do enjoy anything going up there. Its weird 

anyway

whilst waiting for the smear test there was children in the waiting room. Just being children, the mum doing her best to keep them in line. I was just sat there thinking

"I would hate to be a parent. I couldnt be doing with this. I would have no energy for this. I also HATE babies with a passion. I would HATE to raise a teenager" Yeah just sat thinking how much children would wreck my very existence

From there we went to work

yes work

during my summer holidays

Jack wanted to go to work to make his life easier going back

as for me, I wanted time off.

I work term time only. This means I get school holidays off however I CAN NOT take any holidays. So if I wanted to go on holiday during school time or go get married, I would not be allowed. I also can not earn over time pay. It doesnt exist for me. I can earn time in lieu. So any extra time I work outside my hours, I can have off. I need a day off work - September 16th - Mia's wedding

as MY days are only 4 hours, I just needed to work 4 hours in my own time and thats what I did today so I have earned Mia's wedding off. I only need Jack to sign off on it not the head teacher or anything so yeah I can go Mia's wedding ^^

we ended up talking to Chris for ages, we had lunch then i did display stuff and before long it had been 4 hours so we left.

I felt quite exhausted even tho I hadnt done anything majorly physical but I hadnt had any breaks apart from lunch.

we got home and I felt exhausted

We picked today to do everything cus it was suppose to rain, therefor we wouldnt be able to work on the garden or paint the garage door. Howver, did it rain? only once we were home -_____-

so that didnt work out well. Today was just a day I wanted to get done out the way, swear test and work. It wasnt that bad of a day, I have had far worse and I have achieved things 

I did dinner and some how found the energy to go on just dance for 20mins. then had a bath. I rang my mum as I havent seen her for a few days and I cant see her tomorrow ether!!

Oz, he had a paddy. He did not appreciate being locked up for 5 hours. Threw his food dish upside down, kept turning his back on me, no licks and yeah just grumping but I think hes come round. He needs to get used to it, going back to school soon! Besides some buns never get to leave their cage and I have to lock him up for 5 hours one day and I dont hear the end of it!!

Tomorrow

Jack is doing some garden work and depending on how I feel I ether help out or I paint the porch door~

Paddy over some meat

 Evening

I had a better evening routine and managed to fall asleep just fine~ I had set an alarm for 7:30am as I wanted to get up and out for food shopping. I passed mummy in the car leaving the first shop ^^

shopping was fine tho, we got back and unpacked and had a quick brew. Then I was cleaning Oz out, cleaned the bathroom, then helped Jack with the rockery outside and finally cooking my lunch time meat. All before midday. I was quite exhausted as I had literally been on the go none stop.

After lunch I went to lay down on my bed with Hammington for a hour, to come into the kitchen to find 3 meat flies on my meat....

I was fuming. Honestly I probably could have breathed fire on them. I got rid of them whilst ranting off. I threw my meat in the bin as I really didnt fancy it or wanted to spend my holiday poorly with germs. I felt like it was time wasted, money wasted, and I had eaten the smallest pieces - meaning only the big ones were left for waste T^T it was tasty too

So after that major paddy, I decided to look for a fruit loaf recipe online as I thought I would eat that for my lunches. I started making it only to realise that I never keep raisins or dried fruit in the house XD so ended up putting chocolate chips in it! God knows what its like. Whilst it was cooking I decided to go on my laptop. I ordered red hair dye! like ginger red not red red. I bought some earrings for Mia's wedding too.

After all this I noticed Jack had not left his computer chair for 4 hours. Not for a toilet or drink break. So I grabbed Mr. Hyperfixation and I told him everything he missed XD 

he was like "I literally cant leave you unsupervised can I? You've basically had a paddy over some meat, made a cake and ate cake mix for comfort food, and did some online shopping therapy"

I said "yeah basically. But I do feel better about it all now tho"

yup all this went off whilst he was upstairs gaming

I did dinner as I had the oven on from the cake so I may as well use the heat

Now I am letting my dinner go down then I think I will do some yoga. I feel like I need a stretch. Then it will be time for a bath etc. Jack told me to take it easy this afternoon. I dont think it went well...I suck at just SITTING.

I will sit and do my nails later tho

and tomorrow I dont really have much on? I did say if I feel up to it I would paint my porch door as I drew designs out for it today. 

Yes I am my own worst enemy...

tomorrow 

just maybe painting the door, thats it

Fun night in

 Evening

I didnt do my diary last night as Matt and Brandon didnt leave til almost 11pm! We had spent 4 hours+ talking and laughing, they had take away and I had korean noodles. But yes it was a great night! Me and matt are terrible XD brandon and jack sat on the sofa together just looking at the two monsters on the floor XD I laughed til I had tears, my stomach hurt, my cheeks ached, and my throat felt sore. I had been loud, hyper, immature and yeah it was great.

Once they left I thought I was gonna get a scolding from Jack because of my behaviour but no, he said he was really happy at seeing me really happy ^^

I was WIRED tho. My god. I knew I was not gonna sleep. I had a hot chocolate and sat quietly. Then we went to play pokemon in bed til 11:30pm and Jack turned his switch off and went to sleep instantly. i could no way sleep. So I was up. I text mum at 1am to say I was gonna be late getting up so I wont be around to go shopping first thing in the morning. I know her phone goes on silent after 10pm

I took extra tablets and I sleeping tablet. I went to bed at 1:30am

I woke up....10am. 10AM! jesus

Jack wondered if I was gonna wake up XD He had been up with Oz since 8am

I txt mum to say I was up but I couldnt face people today. i didnt want to go anywhere. She understood and I told her I would see her later.

As I sweated loads whilst I was being hyper last night, I did feel somewhat grim this morning. To be honest I would have showered at 11pm. i had sweated. So I decided to go on just dance for half hour til I was a sweaty mess and had a morning shower. I felt so much better for getting rid of that second layer of skin XD

After lunch I went to see mummy, I sat with truffs on my knee and she wouldnt stop licking my thumb XD so cute!

I came home and sat with Ozwald. Mum rang to say dad was doing a tip run, so we then had to gather alllll the stuff in the garage to take to the tip. But we had got it mainly together when we tidied the garage 2 weeks ago. Jack went to the tip with dad and I went on my laptop for a bit. 

I did dinner for when he got home, now I will go have a nice relaxing bath. I can not wait to smoother my face in steroid cream as my eczema is SO bad. I look like I have wrinkles but its because my skin is sore and very dry. medication sucks!

I will then do some digital work after my bath~

tomorrow

I am going food shopping in the morning, then cleaning Oz out. About it really

who night of rain, new game, 2 hours of shopping

 Evening

I couldnt sleep again last night, it was like I was wired. So I was up til midnight, took every drug I could as I just wanted sleep. I slept through the night. Jack woke me at 8:30am as I asked as I needed to get the stew on. He said he had been stressed single bunny parent with Oz and him wanting to go out the patio door into the rain and come back inside again -____- sounds like something loaf would do

So we got the stew on anyway. I then asked Jack "just what are we doing today?"

as he hadnt got any plans I decided we would go 15mins away to the next town for a lot of stuff we needed get and needed to do. So thats what we did.

I went bank to get rid of a cheque and some old notes I found

he went to entertainment store to trade in a lot of stuff, I got a new JustDance game

we went supermarket for a few bits we can only get from that store, I found a pumpkin blanket in there and also a guinea pig one!! Never have I seen guinea pig print anything on fabric! Jack was like "put it in the basket!" He understood ^^

I then drove us to the other end of the high street as we were now buying heavy items and it was raining still (rained alllll through the night)

We went into one store and I picked up home stuff - soaps etc

next store - human soap and washing soaps

wilkos - for charcoal and nail varnish

I was soooooooo done 

It had been 2 hours since we left the house! I was hungry as it was 12:40. 

We had lunch, unpacked the stuff then mummy came over around 2pm. I gave her the blanket she was THRILLED she loved it! I got a photo from her as soon as she got home of it laid  out on her bed bless her. I told her "its not for the guineas to pee on" she was like "oh no! theyre not going near it!" XD

Mummy stayed for an hour then when she left I knew I needed rest. I was exhausted. So I sat watching videos on youtube mainly about Japan, educating myself. 

I did the dinner which was good~

Then, even tho I was tired, I did some exercise. I didnt want to have another day off exercise. So I went on my new justdance4 game. I was on it 20mins. Of course out of the 40 songs I knew only 2. Yup I never know the songs! however cus it was made in 2012 - think that was when Jack was 19 years old aka in his prime and going clubbing XD he knows like all the songs on there! XD I was only gettting 4 stars instead of 5 so I replayed the first dance I went on, I wanted to challenge it again as it had mugged me off. I went from 8000 points 4 stars to 11000 points 5 stars XD I was too competitive I know ><

I went for a bath

Jack came in...."its wednesday today isnt it?" I said "yeah" thinking 'your point being?'

"I have gaming tonight at 7"......

I said "oh my god! I totally forgot!!"

So had Jack, and it was 7pm ^^;

He was a bit late but its only with his brother and his brothers friends so I am sure it was ok. I was then just left with Oz, who is enjoying coming in and out the house. I dont know what we will do when the weather changes and I cant have the patio door open anymore.....that was Jacks issue this morning. He had the door shut due to the rain but Oz was literally pressed against the door wanting to go out.

what will we do if hes pressing his nose again the door from the outside wanting to come in!? I wont be able to bare it and I will just be scooping him up and bringing him in ><;

I really should do a bit of digital work before bed. I have so much digital work to do....

tomorrow

not seeing Mum tomorrow and I have to pace myself tomorrow as in the evening we are having Brandon and Matt over for take away and a catch up. I need energy for that. I plan to exercise and bath before they come over.

actual rain

 Evening

Just as I was waiting for Jack to come out the bath so we could watch anime and stuff, my brother showed up at my craft room window on his bike and stood talking to me for 40mins I offered for him to come in or have a drink but he had his own drink and said he was too warm. It was good to see him but it very much got me all hyped up from laughing so I needed to wind down a lot before bed and it took me a while to actually sleep ><

I woke up to find Jack had got up at 7am for Oz I was up at 8am

I wasnt sure what we was doing today, my body felt very tired and heavy but I had done a lot yesterday. I did do a fair amount again this morning, I am my own worst enemy 

I patched up holes in the wall in the garage, watered the garden, looked for stuff online for mia's wedding, talked out in the garden with Jack future garden designs as to where we are going next with it, sorted out stuff for the charity bag. Ah i was tired.

we had lunch then Jack went to go meet his sisters in the city centre he never mentioned to me about me coming cus he could see I was tired -_____- 

He said before he left that I needed to rest or do some art. I said "I always feel guilty and bad doing my art like its not productive enough" he said "think about it like this, you do exercise for your physical health. Do art for your mental health, its just as important" hes right but its still not easy for me ><

he went out leaving me on the bed with Hammington, I couldnt sleep tho

so I got up and made melon bread again, I wanted another go at it.

It took over an hour as I had made a lot of mess and washing up. I couldnt bare for Jack to come home to find the kitchen a state and a load of washing up. So i hoovered up, wiped down the surfaces and washed up. I was knackered. Mum turned up just as I was putting them in the oven.

She stayed for 90min and I ate a melon bread and it was soooo good I am gonna have another later whilst theyre still fresh.

I sat talking to Jack who came home just before mum left

I decided to do some exercise before dinner, my body was tired but I still felt the need to exercise. I started and after 5 mins I could tell it wasnt happening. My body needed rest. So I stopped and went for a bath.

We did the salad and after salad I really should do some drawing ^^; 

Oz has chosen to play outside in the rain

yes RAIN!

I havent seen rain in such a long time. UK has draught and the field near my house caught on fire on sunday due to the heat! So we didnt get the thunder storms last night like the weather peeps said nor did we get a full day of rain weve just had rain here and there. But nice to see, smell and listen to rain.

I will have to dry that loaf off before I take him to bed. I can tell hes missed the rain as usually he wants to go to bed by now and instead hes chosen to go out in the rain!

tomorrow

not sure yet what we are doing, we might pop into the next town over for a few bits but depends on the weather as its suppose to hammer down.

oh and yes I got a telling off from Jack for not resting and doing far too much whilst he was out the house. He never shouts at me, he just gives me a bit of a lecture about resting and being kinder to myself ><

I got a new chair

 Evening

I couldnt sleep. I was tired but it was like I was wired. I was just there laying wide awake listening to thoughts. I got up in the end and Jack got up with me. Think we probably fell asleep around midnight.

I woke up to find jack was up and had got Oz out ^^

This morning I started to get bits out to make mia a wedding card, then at 10:15am I went out to do some errands. Jack offered to join but it would mean shutting  the house up when it was hot. So I chose to go out by myself. Got my medication and posted Miho's baby presents.

I then called in at home to see mummy, and I had a cup of tea with her which was nice

then I came home to my Jack for lunch

I went to go make Mia's card which was challenging me I have to say. I just kept screwing up! I think cus I wanted it to be good. Usually people keep their wedding congratulation cards so I wanted mine to be decent you know. I walked away from it to cuddle Hammington and after half hour the door went. My new craft room chair had arrived! jack built it for me ^^ I have a new fancy ass chair~~~its pink! It cost £120. All my chairs in my life have been cheap £30 or under. This is my first really nice chair. So why am I still sitting on my old one whilst I type this?....

I finished mia's card then I went to make dinner which was bomb. So damn good.

I then cleared up my mess in my craft room, to say I was making ONE card, there was mess all over the floor and desk ^^;

I now need to do my work out, and luckily tonight it is a lot more bearable it only reached 27c today and I dont feel its too hot tonight. I will still need the fan on tonight but it wont be horrendous like it has been. 

Jack's Mum's friend died this morning. I cant believe how quickly that happened. Jack said he would go to the funeral. I had picked up from the post office a will for me and jack as we need to do that really. Cus of Jack's surname, if he dies, all of  his assets would go to his dad. His dad would have more of a right to jack's everything just because they share a surname. 

tomorrow

it's jack's sister's 17th birthday so I guess we will need to go over and give her her present! I hope she likes the card I made her

Tonight it is suppose to have thunder storms like massive thunder storms. I hope Oz and the girls will be ok ><

He was off his face

 Evening

So last night I delivered my Jack off at Harvey's for their night out. I offered to take my phone off silent for Jack in case he missed the last bus at midnight but he said he would be, he usually is. My phone goes on silent mode at 9pm so I dont have it going off.

I came home and made sure Oz was ok, I put him to sleep eventually, I did some drawing, I painted my nails and then played pokemon in bed. Yeah normal evening for me

At 1:30am I woke up for a wee and thought I would check my phone to see if Jack was on his way home

I had 14 notifications....

13 messages from Jack

1 missed call at 1am from my family house phone....

WHAT THE HELL HAD GONE OFF!?

I read Jack's messages, all saying "help" "lost" and some that weren't english....

I rang him immediately, my heart pounding and my stomach had dropped to the floor. He eventually picked up, everything was flying through my mind at this point.

He was off his face.

He said he had got lost but think he knew where he was? I asked him where he was. He couldnt tell me. I asked him for what he could see. What he described I worked out he is at the local shops. So he was almost home. I offered to pick him up and he said no he would walk.

I put down the phone and texted mum just in case she was awake worrying about Jack

I could feel a panic attack happening

I couldnt bare the wait

just what had happened? why hadnt he got a taxi? had he walked from the city centre?? 

I stood in my short pyjamas at the top of my road at 1:40am waiting for him to appear at the bottom of the hill and he was there but running...Jack doesnt run. But instant relief flooded through me. A part of me wanted to rage off at him in the street but I was filled with too much relief and gratitude 

he barely spoke walking to the house

We got inside and I could tell he was plastered.

He went straight to the bathroom, leaving me waiting for an explanation. At this point I cried

I had not been breathing properly like my throat had constricted and the adrenaline had passed as well so tears came.

He came out the bathroom and I asked "did you miss the last bus?" he said "must have done"...

what sort of an answer is that? hes not usually like this when hes drunk

I said "why didnt you get a taxi?" he said "thats a good question"...

this was very weird behaviour. He said "I think your mum called me" 

I wasnt gonna get anything out of him tonight and he was very affectionate. Not like forcing anything just showering me with love, Jack is an emotional drunk. I said we should get to bed. Where he cuddled me - in the heat - and kissed me head lots, I moved away from his arms and stuff cus I knew that any minute this guy was gonna pass out. And thats what happened

I had to calm myself down and try and sleep.

I woke up at 8am and saw to Ozwald, I let him play outside. I stayed out the way of jack and let him sleep. I was doing jobs, I can do anything as he sleeps so deep.

My mum rang me and filled me, she said jack had rang the house phone at almost 1am saying he was lost and had no clue where he was.  My family had all had a drink and were asleep. They couldnt drive to get him due to drink and mum was asking for landmarks and worked out where he was, he was somewhere near our village but not quite there. Mum talked him through the way home and she could tell he wasnt right but kept him talking as she was worried he would pass out in the street. She asked if his drink had been spite but i hadnt spoke to him yet. I apologised. But she she was just happy he was home safe. We were both wondering if at this point he had walked two hours from the city centre to home. Its a long walk. its 40mins on a bus for gods sake

I was then doing my skin care and I heard Jack and went into him to find him on the floor crouched over, I thought he was throwing up. No. He was looking for Oz under the bed XD Oz had come through the patio, through the lounge, through the hall and into the bedroom. Jack had woke up to a bunny under the bed XD

I sat him down and he looked rough with pink eyes. Last night his pupils were big. I asked him to explain his evening. He had little memory....he couldnt remember anything. So I worried if he had been spite. it was like he was on drugs. But then he said "matt had been pouring my drinks so I wasnt watching how much I was actually having" he took over about half a bottle of gin. Which I think he polished off in 3 hours and what with 30c heat. It didnt go down well.

I looked after him, made him a breakfast cob of bacon and egg, got him coffee and a paracetamol and gave him comfort.

Then Matt txt 'did jack get home ok last night?'

so i told him what I knew

he then filled us in on the evening

Jack had got very drunk at Harveys, was being difficult about getting a taxi into the city from Harveys. matt had given water at Harveys to sober him and brought him bottles of water once they were in the city. jack was turned down from places for being too drunk and thrown out of another place for being too drunk...Harvey picked a fight with a crack head (harvey is a gentle nerd he goes aggressive when drunk but would not stand a chance in a fight) Matt and brandon then tried to put Jack in a taxi home with Harvey but he wouldnt have it, Harvey took a bus home but before all this matt got headbutted in the face by the crack head as he was trying to pull harvey away.

They put Jack on a bus to our village, not the bus we use but it would get him near home.

At some point drunk jack realised this is not his route so got off the bus, thats when he went to ring me but called my house phone a.k.a. my family phone. Thats where mum came in. So he hadnt walked all the way home thank god but far enough he must have been knackered. 

Theo asked me how he was and if he got home ok. he had had too much

hes spent the whole day on the sofa. 

I am just grateful he wasnt mugged or anything and he did get home. jesus jack.

I have done chores today, seen to Oz, went to my parents house and told them Jacks story. My dad was smirking the whole time as hes had loads of drunken action in his days. 

I told him he owes me for worrying me and making me almost have a panic attack >.>

His mum rang him saying her best friends husband has had a stroke and has a massive brain tumour. She was upset. That happened in the night hes only in his 40s. Shes just rang again at 8pm saying hes being taken off life support. That escalated! poor guy. He has a wife and 2 young kids. awful. Jack didnt reveal his emotions to me. I dont know how he feels about it. He knows the guy very well tho.

Its a bit cooler tonight thank bloody god. Its been 32c again -____________-

Tomorrow its warm again then in the evening it says the whole night will be thunder storms! 

Oz learned a lil trick

 Good Evening

Just who is sleeping in this heat -_____- I got up for 2 wees yet again. I think its cus I am drinking my weight each day and peeing for Britain. It is annoying. Also I kept hearing things and getting up to patrol the house. Doesnt take much to wake me I sleep lightly. There was nothing there. I think the house just makes sounds when its cooling down and it just sounds weird with a fan on all through the night. I wish we had AC.....

I woke up at 6:15am. I did contemplate having that extra hour of sleep but then I thought about Oz, who has been having a rough a time as all of us, he hasnt been able to do much as its too hot and he certainly hasnt been able to play outside. So I got up and let my bunny roam outside in the lovely cool air. There was a thin layer of mist outside the sun hadnt managed to burn through yet so it was lovely outside. Why couldnt it stay like that. 

At 7am I woke Jack up who also hadnt slept well. We are all so tired in the UK were trying to sleep in 28c heat.....it did reach 33c today. We got ready to go out shopping and left the house just after 8am. I bumped into mummy in the shop as she had got out early to beat the sun. I ran over to her not carrying who sees and gave her a cuddle. 

we did our shopping and were home for 8:55am~

My mission was just open everywhere cus we obviously have to shut every window when we leave the house and man is it hot! Jack unpacked. I bought Oz inside.

Oz tho...my Oz has learned a new trick.

He was inside and I was just sitting there thinking "where is he?" I felt sure I hadnt seen him run out the room he sometimes likes doing >.> so I checked the lounge. no rabbit. I then checked the whole house TWICE. No rabbit

where the hell was he!?? I didnt panic as logically he couldnt have left the premises. I didnt know where else to look and then I looked outside into the garden through the patio window to watch him through himself on the stones in happiness in the shade...he had gone OUT the patio door. He has never done this before. In a way I am not surprise as I put him out that door enough times. Hes finally realised that he too can use the door as we leave it open whilst its hot and were home. Its right next his toilet area in the lounge.

I went outside to fuss him and I thought I would show him he can go back inside. I then went inside with him and sat by the door, he then, on his own terms - went in and out twice and then licked my nose as if to say "I understand now!" He understood how to use the door. Bless him. So yes after that he decided he would take himself inside or outside. But he did decide to stay inside as the sun had some on the garden and temperature was hot so I am glad he was being sensible. 

We had lunch and at 2pm someone came to see us about our pavement and driveway as we want the pavement lowered and drive half done - dad insists we get it done courtesy of his wallet. Hes a bit obsessed with it...

I havent been able to get motivated with anything today. Like I think its cus of the damn heat but yeah I can not get going with anything and cant think straight. Its hot and I am tired. Im too hot to sleep in the day as Oz has our only fan in the lounge....

I looked at wedding card congratulations ideas cus I want to make Mia and Rob one.

I did a 20min work out and sweated to death it wasnt even that hard.

I then did dinner right away, ate it, and had a bath cus I needed to get Jack out the house. He was going out with Harvey and a load of friends. I thought about going but nah no point. I think it does Jack to unwind without me there. I am only a liability really arent I. Besides I cant drink and I hate loud and busy places! So I dropped him off at Harveys. He is catching the last bus home which is at midnight. I have told him when he gets home if he feels the need to have a shower, then to have one. Its still mega hot out, he will be round a lot of people in places its bound to get sweaty and I rather him be clean in bed then gross and dirty not to mention hes getting a bus from harveys into the city then one home. It might help him wind down for sleep too. So I imagine I will be up in the night. But it cant be helped. It is a joint birthday thing for him and Harvey and I want him to enjoy himself.

As for what will I do tonight? I have put some yogurt and chocolate drops in the freezer to get cold not frozen for a bit, I have eaten loads this week T^T but all well~ I will do my nails too and hopefully do some drawing ><

but god I hope I get some damn sleep. I woke up so much last night. Need sleep....

Tomorrow

I am making Jack his hangover breakfast~

I need to clean the bathroom, and cut up a load of pork shoulder and marinate it to cook on monday~

Acquiring things I like :)

 Evening

I woke up AGAIN for 2 wees. Peeing for Britain. but I dont think anyone in Britain is sleeping deeply right now. Going to bed when its still 25c isnt nice. Its been 32c today and 33c tomorrow -____- suppose to have thunder storms on monday! I just hope it aint humid as well >.>

I woke up at 7:30am and I left Jack in bed, he was struggling with his 5 bug bites on his body when we played pokemon, they were burning and itchy and feel bruised. So I wondered if he hadnt slept great. So I left him to sleep and saw to Ozwald

Jack eventually got up but I was all set to go out. Mummy took me to TK and it was so good to actually get out the house!

I picked up a mini pumpkin ornament as they had loads of halloween stuff in I lOVE IT. I also got a pumpkin rug for my craft room just cus I loved it ^^ there was loads of stuff but some stuff it tacky and some stuff just too expensive. I got a cocoa pumpkin candle, skin stuff, and birthday present for Jack to give to his sister as he wasnt able to get one yesterday. oh and a plant pot too :) mummy got some bits as well mainly clothes. I had had enough but mum reminded me I needed to go boots for some bite cream for Jack so I walked my corpse over there and got him some cus I love him.

We came in and I handed Jack the cream right away, he said it really relieved it. Its not bad when you have 1 bite but he has 5 and theyve swelled up and gone dark inflamed red they also hot to touch. I hardly ever get bit but Jack seems to be taster than me. I think its cus of all my meds, my blood probably smells rotten XD

Mummy had a brew then left us, I sat talking to Jack then I finished his sister's birthday card. We had lunch and yeah pretty much not done a great deal today other than make sure Ozwald is ok. its too hot to do any damn thing

I did make a 'cake' i winged it and it came out okish I guess. I have been so hungry on my period that ive eaten the house out so had no choice but to make something XD

Jack put up my painting in my craft room ^^ I ordered a new plushie ^^ its been a good day of acquiring things, in saying that, my new chair from Wayfair was suppose to come today and it hasnt. Best not come when I am at shopping in the morning >.>

I managed a 24min work out after dinner, I sweated loads it wasnt even hard as i knew not to be stupid and do a hard work out in 28c evening. I had to peal my top off me for a cold bath....

I need to try do a bit  of digital art tonight tho. 

Tomorrow~

early morning shop, wanna get out before it his 30c anyway. I cant believe its gonna be 33c...its gonna be another wasted day. Literally cant do anything in this heat. 

I have Oz to clean out too. I have other jobs to do and later I am taking Jack over to Harvey's as theyre all going out for drinks for Harvey's 30th and Jack's 29th birthday :)

I said I would make him hang over breakfast sunday morning

Massage, Bridesmaid dress, Art, Melon Pan

 Evening

I just have been hot and dead really

I had a massage on Monday afternoon, I also started my period on Tuesday night. This just wrote me off. I had deliberately come off my pill at the weekend so I would have a period during my massage recovery. If I am gonna spend days dead from massage I may as well just write the week off -____-

Dont get me wrong, the massage was nice I had a whole hour on my back as my neck and shoulders were BAD. 

Monday morning I saw mia!! I havent seen her for weeks so it was good to see her and we laughed so much. She bought over my bridesmaid dress, she said it is mine to keep! I wasnt expecting that >< I tried it on and I felt like an actual female. its the most feminine clothing I have ever worn 0.0 it was so fitted but so comfy as its just stretchy and wrap round. Yeah I was so impressed. Mia was happy as I liked it and it also went amazing with my hair colour.

I showed her the accessories I had bought to wear on the day and they all passed inspection ^^ She talked to me about the day a bit, she also told me theres 3 bridesmaids now not 4....some stuff kicked off with her friend. So its me, her older sister and cousin. Which I am happy about as I dont particularly like her friend but I accepted Mia wanted her. So I was kinda glad in a way. 

I have since bought some mini roses to go in my hair and I kimono handbag as I needed a bag for the wedding and I do not have womens bags....

The rest of the week, I have still been setting myself 3 jobs to do each day but it hasnt been anything much and I havent left the house since my massage. I have just been recovering

I did make Melon Pan on Tuesday totally from scratch and they turned out really well for a first attempt, I know how I would adjust the recipe if I make it again. We ate them all tho! 

I finished my Wooper painting, and started making Jack's sister a birthday card. I have been trying to keep Oz cool from the heat as its been 30c+ this week....luckily next week is suppose to be rain!

Jack went out with his sisters today, I wanted to go but I was dead and someone needed to be there for Oz as it has been 32c today and to leave him to go play mini golf is beyond selfish so I told Jack to go and I would stay home for the loaf. Jack has just come in and hes had a nice time, extra happy cus he beat his poor sisters >.>

Tomorrow

I am hoping to get out the house, I need to get out you know? So mum said she can go somewhere with me. Not sure what else I will do, I have some baking I could do. I have the shopping list to do as well so yeah just another day really

Our first BBQ

 Evening~~~

I cried another time yesterday before I went to sleep. My eyes felt so swollen but I was struggling with negative thoughts, a lot about my dad.

This morning I felt very flat and energyless, great on a day youre suppose to be entertaining!

So we got up and we tidied up a bit, I did a work out and had a shower then cleaned the bathroom. Jack went to the shops once they were open for BBQ meat as we couldnt store it in the fridge as we have a caravan fridge, we couldnt put drinks in the fridge ether cus no room 

His family came over just after 12, I had been laying on my bed for half hour, making the most of being quiet. 

Jack had lit the BBQ but the food should have gone on earlier as I was struggling to cook the damn thing, I got some thinner things cooked but the rest was just being lightly steamed --_____-- I kept saying it to him and in the end he decided to give me more charcoal T^T finally!!! I then could cook and I cooked everything so damn well too~~

Oh but whilst we had been outside something massive happened....we have new neighbours!!!! The house next door to us has been empty about 6+months and today the new owners showed up, some chaved up woman. Yeah they look classy...just hope they havent got brats and dogs. Oh my god the dogs behind us wouldnt shut up all day. The whole morning none stop they barked but then I think the owners did realise we had guests so brought the dogs in. But what they do you see is, rather than take them to the park 1-2mins walk down the road they lock them outside to bark and bark and bark as they are full of energy and dont appreciate being locked out their home. Then once they come inside you can STILL hear them barking and the owners telling them to shut up. Why dont you take your dog for an effing walk huh!? why do people have dogs if they want nothing to do with them. I lose my patience so much to that household. Its the dogs that suffer. but they literally have no control over them and theyre big dogs too.

anyway ^^;

We went into the lounge because it was getting warm outside and my garden has zero shade in the afternoon, so we sat round indoors, I didnt want people to burn despite the sun block 

We had cake they bought round and just talked, it was nice. I was getting exhausted from being social for 4 hours straight 

They eventually left at 4:30pm and then we had the clear up to do which wasnt too bad as we had used disposable forks and plates, they were some Jacks mum had already so we thought it would help with the washing up. 

I went to chill out in the bath and I couldnt wait to rid myself of the smell of smoke as I had been cooking in it. Jack went into the bath and I threw all our clothes in the wash with the towel wash I had delayed til this evening as I usually do it in the morning but I didnt want clothes festering of smoke for days. Jack is gonna do the washing up now. I might do some painting but I just want my bed. I am tired. Its been nice tho and Jack thanked me for today he didnt need to 

Oz tho, my goodness that bun, he was just being overly bunny cute and getting attention. He did find it hard at the start as hes never had a BBQ here before and hes not really used to having people over he did eventually tune off and go to sleep in the room with us

tomorrow

got another long day ahead, do I get an easy day!? -___- suppose to be holidays damn it

should be seeing mia in the morning to do wedding prep

then 4pm I have a massage, mum will probably want to see me between those two.

but not got to cook as theres so much BBQ meat left!!

Panic attack induced by my dad

 Evening

I slept pretty well, think I kinda woke up to Jack coming to bed. I was playing pokemon til 10pm I was so tired tho -____- 

we woke up at 7:30am as I set an alarm so we could get going with the day

by 8:20am we were on our way to shopping~ we got to the second shop and the key wouldnt come out the car ignition. Jack wouldnt just let me leave the banger like that so made me stay with the car whilst he shopped >.> stupid crappy car

we got home and Jack sprayed WD40 in the ignition and the key released. I swear something goes wrong in that car everytime we use it.

we unpacked, I cleaned Oz out, had a quick cup of tea, 25mins on just dance, shower. *pant pant* I was constantly on the go! I had a lot to do >.> so now that it was 11am I needed to go up to my dad's garage. I did not want to. Jack offered his support but I thought I would spare him and leave him at home he also had  a load of stuff to do.

I txt mum to say I was going up and she said she would meet me there

I saw my dad after I had pulled up, he said to bring the car onto his ramp - instant anxiety. I have never drove a car on a ramp before. So I am trying my best and my dad is pointing with his finger but I am trying my best and looking where I am going and he yells at me whilst showing me his pointed finger

"DONT YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS!? IM POINTING!!"

I got out the car and said "I havent done this before!!!"

he said "I had a bloke drive into the ramp post" I said "well I wasnt THAT bad then"

I walked off after he passed me the other car keys

got round the corner and had an anxiety/panic attack

I couldnt breathe and I thought I was going to throw up right there and then, tears streamed down my face I was panting and hyperventilating and of course this is the moment my mum drives into my dad's garage car park. She sees me in a state and was like "whats wrong!!?" I said between gasps and pants "I will say in a minute" I was trying to catch my breath I managed to get out "he shouted at me, I had to go on the ramp and I havent done it before"

mum was annoyed. That dad just cant be nice for 5mins. if she had been a little bit earlier she would have been there. So she was annoyed at how rude dad is. So I sat in her car with the air conditioning up and blowing my nose and wiping my eyes. I WAS DRAINED

but I had still to test drive the car....

so mum came and sat in the seat next to me and I drove for like 2mins just for a test drive

It was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much nicer than what I had been driving round in -___- it doesnt feel like too much of a down grade from my previous car. Its got a nasty car tax unfortunately, because of its engine size so I am gonna guess the insurance will be nasty too. But the rid is nicer, the seats arent knackered and it looks better. Its baby blue~ I should get it soon, dad just has a bit more work to do to it.

I came home after thanking mum for her support

I cried when I got home cus I was telling Jack about it all, he felt so bad for me. I said "it seems like no big deal but I have years of physical and mental abuse from my dad so it doesnt take much for him to trigger me"

We had lunch once I had calmed down, then I had to wait til 2pm so bid on some rockery stones online and I won them. I then went to bed for almost 2 hours. I was so drained, I had cried a little bit whilst falling asleep. I get annoyed at myself for letting him get to me. 

Once I was up I had a cup of tea with my boys, I went outside to water the garden, then did the dinner and now just doing my diary and I will do some art

the key is stuck in the ignition again, it was stuck when I got home from dad's yard, but I was so done at this point I just walked into the house. I can not face seeing my dad and asking for help as Jack has tried to free it but its not happening, I have text my brother to see where he is and if he will maybe come fix it. If not it can stay like that, I dont care. Dad fixed one problem on it today and I feel it has another.

Today has been hard....

Yes Jo has daddy issues

tomorrow

ahhhh tomorrow I have another hard day ahead. Jack is going food shopping for the BBQ in the morning then his family is coming over around midday for a BBQ, so I will be entertaining for hours. It is gonna be hard and draining but I will get through it.

ahhhh I have had enough

garage is done~

 Evening

Man I was hurting last night from everything

I enjoyed playing on Pokemon in bed next to my Jack but I was about dropping off whilst playing!

I slept pretty well last night. I left Jack to sleep but he ended up getting up 10mins after me

I decided to have biscuits and hot chocolate for breakfast ^^ there wasnt a Jack yet to monitor me XD

This morning we went out to tackle the cabinet in the garage!

So the cabinet wasnt actually attached to the wall which made life easier. However it did reveal the grossness behind it....chewed up carrier bags which I am guessing was used as a nest at some point, 1000s of rat droppings and a dead rat....it was just bones tho so wasnt too gross. Hordes of spiders some were freakin huge like they could have been australian XD Im joking, theirs are the size of small puppies. We just gotta take all the crap to the tip sometime but need my dad's van for that >.>

It was a good job done but we once again got covered in dust. I came in and got dressed in my work out stuff and did 20mins of Just dance, then had a nice soak in the bath

We had lunch and then I laid on my bed with Hammington for a bit, then cut my nails down

so by lunch time I had done all my jobs for the day I was free~

mum turned up at 2pm with the girls and some home made cakes in honour of Jacks birthday ^^ they were sooooo good. I cut the girls claws and truffs was mardy. 

Mummy is feeling better but she is no way 100% yet

I then just did a few bits and pieces and then asked Jack if he would knock 3 nails in so I could hang the 3 canvases up so yay they are up after being sat in my craft room for a while ^^

I did the dinner~ and now just doing diary then it is art time

jack has got gaming tonight so i am by myself tonight but thats fine

tomorrow

*sigh* I have a busy day tomorrow >.> I have got to go shopping in the morning for food, clean Oz out, go see my dad at work as I need to test drive a potential car, clean the bathroom, paint my nails.....too much -_____- why are my holidays so busy!?

I gotta see my dad T^T hes more of an arsehole at work

My Jack's 29th Birthday!

 Evening

I was so tired last night, I was on the go for a while. I managed to do 25mins of JustDance, weeded the garden a bit and got rid of the dead flowers from plants and really watered the garden. Finally at 8pm I had a shower! Much needed shower...I managed a bit of drawing but not much then I was playing Pokemon til 10pm. I fell asleep and didnt notice Jack come to bed at 11pm

I woke up at 4am and felt like I had a sore throat coming, my thought was "great caught mum's germs" but this morning I didnt feel that bad, I was a lil snotty but on the whole not that bad. I put the thoughts from my mind as I do not want to be poorly! I will be just fine~

we woke up at 8:15am I cuddled Jack saying "Happy Birthday" this woke him up XD

We had breakfast with Oz, and then Jack opened his presents and cards with Oz there to help and supervise of course. Then we made our lunch then we went out.

I drove us to Newstead Abbey, I havent been for YEARS.

We got there and I sod the map and just started walking round. Its basically like this huge old lord house that sits on the grounds of a few lovely gardens. You have to pay separately to go round the lord house but screw that I wasnt there for the house! I was there for walking and exploring~ 

There was a road down to the carpark with very small road humps in the road, I slowed cus thats what you do, i went over the first one and heard something bang and then heard metal clinking to the floor. I pulled over (luckily no one around) and Jack retrieved part of the suspension....the first time we use the car and the suspension snaps...yup 

I rang mum once we had been for a wee and had a stretch and told her, she laughed, the car is so old rusted and and crappy. But I was just ringing to see if we were safe to drive home. We had taken a photograph of the spring and not much had snapped off in comparison to the whole spring. Mum sent it to dad (no way was I gonna ring and talk to him) and she got back to us that yes we would be ok to drive home just take it easy over any bumps.

so we were off~~

I somehow managed to hone in on the Japanese Garden first XD Everywhere was so pretty, we didnt bump into that many people or screaming kids, I really did think it was gonna be busier than what was. I was beginning to tire but didnt want to admit it, Jack kept making sit on a bench and catch my breath a minute sometimes needing the inhaler. We eventually said we would stop for lunch, I was hoping id be rearing to go after lunch so I could walk round the lake

lunch was good and we had our picnic blanket and cushions in the shade but I was getting a bit cold. I admitted that my legs were hurting and whilst I probably could have walked round the lake, I probably SHOULDNT walk round the lake. I would be pushing myself. Jack was happy to come back another time, for me not to push myself and he had enjoyed his outing 

we got home ok, I drove us back as Jack didnt feel that confident driving a broken car and that was totally acceptable as a new driver. 

I got home and had a cup of tea with Oz, a lay on my bed, then a hot bath as I was aching like mad!! Jack went to have some game time.

I made from scratch Katsu curry for dinner. So I coated the chicken with panko and I made the sauce from scratch. Not made with coconut milk so its better for you and it turned out alright actually. We watched the final episode of So Im a spider So what, in our pyjamas with Oz. Yup a lot nicer than going out for food and cheaper too! XD

Think I will just do some art this evening ether digital or painting I shall see

I havent got any plans tomorrow, think mummy would like to see me but she says see how I feel. We might be tackling the garage cupboard too. 

I have made ice cream for tonight ^^ yay I am looking forward to that treat!

I think on the whole my Jack has enjoyed his birthday and I am glad as I tried my best for him. We were gonna have a movie night tonight but we both cant be bothered XD it was nice actually going out somewhere together tho as we havent actually been out together for ages

last year of his 20's XD

being told to have an easier day >.>

 Evening

My brother popped over for a bit last night, so that was nice but I was already so exhausted. I struggled to settle down afterwards. It took me til almost midnight to sleep. We woke up at 8:30am I had slept pretty well too

I sadly had the stew to put on this morning T^T

I was dead this morning, honestly looked and felt rough. Jack told me I need to have an easier day and leave the cabinet in the garage. I had a strop on the floor, saying I wanted to get stuff done, it was on my list to do for today etc. Jack sat down with me and went through my summer list and my daily lists and managed to come up with a better solution and talk me through stuff.

I told him he had averted a melt down XD He said I needed energy for tomorrow as it's his birthday and we would like to pop out for a picnic~ and he was right, I was in need of an easier day. I could feel my body was shaking with exhaustion yesterday. my body shakes when im pushing things, if I push through that 'warning' I faint. Basically my body says 'no more' and knocks me out! I am too stubborn, i know.

So today we had an easier day

As I felt so deathy and sweaty, I had a shower and made some biscuits whilst Jack and Oz gardened for 2 and half hours!! They did so well. I think Jack wanted the garden a bit tidier for when his family come on sunday. 

we had lunch then I drove us to get fuel, post office, then went to mum's for an hour

I got to sit with the girls and we had a cup of tea

Jack got the ladders and went into the roof for my old gamcube as I said he could play my old pokemon games

we came home and we started them. we also watched pokemon presents and we are so hyped for the new games they look so freaking good! I sat with Oz a little bit then did the dinner which was so good, despite almost overflowing this morning XD

Jack has gaming tonight, so I might send him for a shower first as I dont wanna shower right now as I would like to do some exercising tonight. I need food to go down a bit more first! Im not always in the mood to rush so he can game. Sometimes I am exercising and tasting  my dinner coming up....

so tomorrow

it's my Jack's 29th birthday!!! I cant wait to give him his goodies, and have a good day with him ^^ I want to have a nice picnic and we're gonna attempt Katsu curry from scratch for dinner~ think my body is grateful for an easier day today tho, so hopefully this means I have energy to enjoy tomorrow with my Jack~