Evening~
I am able to use my laptop as I have managed to position
the cable in such a way on my desk that the connection works!
I daren't move anything on my desk!
Last night til 9:20pm I was finishing the black bird picture
as I only had a little bit more to go and I thought id I finished it that night
I can look at it with fresh eyes tomorrow (today) and make any adjustments
but today I thought it looked fine
so I took my time putting it in the frame
and it's all done
ready for adam's dad's 60th birthday in december :)
Anyway I couldnt sleep due to shivering
I was plenty warm I know I was
I woke up in the night sweating and aching
when I woke up at 3am I decided to go get some pain killers
which turned out to be reading with cereal and a hot chocolate
whilst waiting for the pain killers to kick in
by 4:30am i was asleep once again
waking up at 7am
I was tired -_____-
I curled mum's hair for her this morning
everyone in the house was getting ready for my brother's graduation
I had to take Oz to the vets for his final check up
I ended up waiting. again
but a lady came to sit next to me who had a really cute girl guinea pig
she was a cutie so we talked pigs
Oz got called in, he had to show the vet his bits and when she touched them his back
legs curled in it was so cute i wanted to scoop him up
he was well behaved but did look like he was gonna jump up me
I took him home he is cleared now :)
I came home and went for a shower as I felt gross from last night, keep having to shower twice a day. All the dye has rinsed out my hair so im back to my natural colour which seems to be quite light and even blond. I want to dye it but with me showering so much the dye isnt going to take to my hair it wont last long and just rinse out. very annoying that ive got to wait til ive stopped shivering and sweating!!!
I went online for a lil while whilst sorting
bits and pieces out
i was looking at nail ideas and at jobs
then I had lunch and went to bed cus I felt crappy
I got up and began sewing
my mu told me about my brother's graduation which seemed to go alright
which im pleased about
I went for a 30 min walk with mum
then did more sewing and i got up to the point I wanted to on the cushions for the day
Tomorrow I have a hair cut
Oh thank god!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't tell you how happy I am to have a hair cut!
I can't see cus of my god damn fringe!
to be honest I need my hair dresser's opinion on my fringe im not sure of the style
and what will be best for it, its so heavy i cant do anything with it
but i like it on the sides as i tie my hair up so much
so thats at 10:30am
then im going straight to adam's house for my usual saturday
then i might come back and sew~
going to do vintage style nails for his mum i think
Evening all
I am so tired of these hot and cold sweats!!!
seriously how long is this gonna go on for
my neck feels swollen a lot of the time too
if this isnt my thyroid causing all this I havent a clue what
the real issue is
but gotta wait til 10th for a blood test~
So today I was left with the pets
Oz was playing outside like a good bunny
I checked for him as I opened the back door and took the girls home
I then sat in the living room, convinced I could hear noises in the house
but I was home alone...
eventually the noises sound like rabbit hops..
I went upstairs and I could see on the landing the shadow of 2 rabbit ears
Ozwald!!!!!
Not only had the little git managed to sneak in past me when I took the girls home, he had also managed to climb the stairs - something he's never done in our house
So I chased him and scooped him up and put him outside
I then went to assess the damage
and from the looks of things nothing was damaged!
Later in the morning I danced downstairs and even went to record
jama shinaide here we go! as I felt confident enough to record
what I hadnt counted on was my laptop dying..
i was like "eh whats the crack?"
I couldnt work out why the charge wasnt getting through
then I checked the length of the cable and yup there it was
rabbit teeth marks
the little git has had my cable charger!!!!!!
so my laptop is on borrowed time
I managed to tape up the cable to get it working enough for me to order
my 7th, yes my 7th laptop charger
but the tape thing has worn off and its dying as we speak
it best come soon! my laptop is my only means of connection to the internet
I had some lunch at home
i had been doing some more of the black bird which is almost done
at 2pm i went to adam's house
i spoke with him and his dad about jobs and where im going in life
cant talk to my dad about it you see
then we went for food
i had earl grey tea with lemon cake which was so sickly i dont want to see cake for a long time now adam had steak burger as he hadnt had lunch. i paid
we came to his house
i helped him sort out his pennies. he had £13.50 in pennies
he's been asking me for days to help him do it and seeing as i wasnt in the mood to play pokemon i thought id get it out the way
i went to have a play fight with him on his bed but he told me stop and save my energy for yoga which annoyed me cus damn him having logic but i did say i need to listen and he needs to be harder on me. i listened and relented. booooo
came home for yoga
yoga was good apart from my teacher telling me to slow down XD
got back and got my girls out
tomorrow oz has got his final check up at 9:30
then i get to do as i please all day
my brother has got his graduation tomorrow too~
my nails for this week
Evening~~
Ahhh I'm still having these blasted sweats with shivers! Or I am cold as a corpse
it feels gross and im sick of it!
So I had those in the night
I get it during the day too but at night it wakes me
So I was a lil tired and woke at 7:30am
I knew I had dentist anyway to get up for
I didn't have break fast as I couldnt face it
I had my check up and all was fine really
she varnished my teeth and I couldnt eat or drink for an hour
and i was hungry -__- teach me to not eat before i go out
I cleaned the pets out when I got in, Oz kept going in and out of
his cage cus it's so exciting having your cage cleaned out
then I ate breakfast
We were having the sofas cleaned today
none of us expected it to take 4 hours 0.0
seriously it went on and on and the noise the machine made
in the end i plugged my ipod in and did some more work on the black bird
I've only got the foot and branch to do then it's finished :D
I laid in my bed with my dressing gown and blanket over me as i was frozen
then i had lunch which was pumpkin soup and i was sweating
i go from one extreme to another
me and mum went Home Sense then Dunelm
I picked up a frame from Home Sense for the black bird it was £10 which is plenty to pay but I liked it cus it was copper and wont take over the black bird
I picked up a gaudy xmas decoration for mia for £3.99 i'll give it to her as part of her xmas present i know shes been collecting these really strange decorations.
I picked up a korean hair care product to try too for £3
from Dunelm I picked up the 3 cushions i had ordered. a rabbit mug I have been hunting for adam and that was it. mum brought pieces from both shops too
it was worth going anyway
everywhere is getting christmas stuff out
puts a right face on my mum XD
I got back and shot back out to adams before school traffic kicked off
he made me a brew i was grateful for
he showed me his new racing game he picked up the other day with me
he offered me to race him but i wasnt in the mood
i watched him race for a bit then i got bored and went for a bath!
cant beat baths
but i was hot in the bath and shivering when i got out
had a brew with oreos and then went home
all the time dinner was cooked i was dripping with sweat and had goosebumps and shivers. dont know whats gone off. i had blood as well when i went to the toilet first thing this morning. am i just falling to pieces? my body is ready for the scrap heap.
tomorrow i would have been going out with adam for 7 months 0.0
still cant get my head round that one that hes still with me
he says he'll see me tomorrow at some point
im gonna do craft work anyway so im easy ether way
here i smy pumpkin this year
simple really
Konbanwa~
I didn't sleep well
I had a dream that I had to tell a load of people that I am constantly in pain
and what the pain has done to me over time
I was some sort of dragon monster thing
My pain had turned me into a monster
Last night I had spoken to Ed on the phone for almost an hour
it was good to speak to him although I felt I didn't have much to tell him
but it was still good to talk to him
I got up at 7:30am
I spent my morning doing some more work on the black bird picture
simply because I wasn't in the mood to sew
I also did my pumpkin! it's a simple design nothing amazing
I sat with Oz
I got ready to see adam not that I bothered applying make-up
or doing a lot with my hair
I couldnt be bothered today
and I still couldnt get my head round what we were gonna do today
In the end I picked him up from the gym and we went into a town
we went pub for lunch i had soup
i didnt really feel like eating
we walked round some shops and charity shops
I picked up some new leg warmers reduced from £8 to £1.59!
I picked Oz up some treats as I haven't brought him rabbit treats in such
a long time i've just been giving him dried fruit and veg
and he loved the treats
he also loved seeing adam honestly he was so excited and licking him at every chance
im almost forgotten about!
We played pokemon downstairs
I was so cold I can't get rid of these hot and cold moments
i was sweating earlier in the day then mid afternoon i was a corpse
this morning i was so cold my hands like ice
dont know whats up with me
mum says it could be my thyroid
another reason why im getting my blood test done i guess
We went for a half hour walk to see if that would warm me and it
eventually did thank god
then i took adam home
suppose to be seeing him tomorrow i believe
he says i need to relax and calm stuff down
im stressing too much which i know i am
seeing as my brother wasn't happy i decided to draw a picture for him
this is 'Cock Cat' from the series 'Fresh Meat'
its drawn on the wall in one of the student's rooms.
I paused the DVD and sat and drew it downstairs on my lap
then went over it in pen in my room
I do hope he enjoys
cus I must say I felt bloody dirty drawing this thing XD
An idea came to me today
ive been wanting to give adam something a lil extra at xmas
but couldnt think what as guys are so damn hard!
but I thought about doing a drawing for him and getting it printed on a phone case for him :D i think that has real potential the question is now
what do I draw for him? /:
Tomorrow I have stupid dentist
ugh
don't want to go but it cant be helped i guess i need to get these things done if i want to keep my teeth my whole life. i just dont enjoy it. but theres charity shops next to it so that will cheer me up afterwards im sure :) then see adam at some point
Evening
Jeez have i been in a mood today
it's not even time of the month but I could quite easily have a massive
go at someone over nothing
Yesterday
I woke up at 8:00am and by 8:30am I was up outta bed
and leaving adam's house
i told him to stop in bed as I was capable of seeing myself out
but his dad was up and was going out so he saw me out
I got home and sorted the pets out
I also cleaned, tidied and aired the house well the downstairs anyway
ready for my parents to come back
and as I had barely slept that night due to shivers and sweats again
I went to bed for 2 hours and woke up by which time my parents were home
I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my afternoon
I was getting a lil annoyed as Id do nothing for myself all day
by 2:30pm I went over to adams and we went for a walk
we picked him up a glass jar so he can start his collection saving for holidays
we came home had a brew and played pokemon
had dinner and I came home
Today I did sleep rather well
but I felt done in
I was mentally not good and my body was drained
I have done a little work on the cushions but if I was better
I could have gotten A LOT further
but there's no rush anyway i guess
I got to a point where I was able to clear aware the fabric from my room anyway
I fell asleep during the day
I didnt want to get up I wanted to sleep the day away
I had rung the doctors for an appt to see the GP and an appt for the nurse
for blood test -___- just seeing 'blood test' on my calender sickens me greatly
I also rang up the benefits office as I requested a form to fill in to see if im entitled to claim anything as I barely work and if i didnt have my family, it certainly wouldnt be enough to live on. heck i got more when i student at 17!!!
worth a shot I had to talk on the phone for 15mins i did really well
i also ordered an NHS exemption form so I dont need to pay for dentist or eye checks
every little helps, Ive had one past few years
i also did my nails which turned out so unbelievably crap that i took them off
they smudged and just looked terrible
im gonna have another go tonight
that was my mega exciting day!
tomorrow I am unsure of what to do
a part of me is tempted to go to the city centre by myself
but then i know id chicken out i think
i just dont know what i want to do with my day
adam wants to see me i know he does
he wants to see Oz as well who is doing really really well
id say he was back to his usual self! <3
Here is a cheek cream blusher i got from japan
ive tried it but its quite strong against my pale face
so i really look like im blushing haha
dont know how much i'll use it but it was only £3
might do some beauty treatments tonight
bleach eye brows
facial scrub
facial mask
nails
might boost my mood hopefully
Konbanwa~~
I slept terrible
I was shivering with goose bumps everywhere
but I was sweating at the same time
I think thats called fever?
all through the night
I was shattered come morning
didn't help waking at 7am -_____-
I went put the heating on as dad never puts it on in the morning
dad isnt here is he :D
Then went to check Oz
he hadn't eaten :(
well he had eaten the grass I'd cut for him so that was something
I brought him in for a fuss and a look at his wound
which looked good
Pinks came out for a trot she didn't give me too much hastle
she does stink tho
Then I got girls out and I cleaned them out
I was finished by 8:30am and usually on a saturday I havent even started by that time!
the girls were good and I had Oz outside whilst I cleaned their cage
I watched him eat manky old rotting leaves...
all the lovely things I have offered him and he insists on eating that!!
but I didn't mind considering he was eating
I had a shower as I felt gross from my night of sweating
and got ready to go adams for a few hours
I used the new lip balm/stick I got from Japan
I fancied red for a change and its really good I am impressed
but its not overly red as i wouldnt look right XD
I was leaving when my brother asked
"you staying out tonight?"
"yeah maybe I need to talk to adam and see how Oz is"
"I just might bring someone over or we might go to dinner"
"who?"
"Ellie"
"who's Ellie?"
"a girl in the year below me"
"ok"
"yeah she's well bang-able" 0_____0 I did not just hear that from my brother it did make me laugh
"woah I did not just hear that!! But I don't know what Im doing tonight"
"I'm trying to bang her here" 0___0 good grief!!! XD I laughed
"well in that case I am certainly staying out!!!!!"
and I left
bloody hell. just what goes through male minds 0.0 not sure I was to know
I got to adam and talked with him and his family 15mins then we went to go get lunch I got sweetcorn chicken and tomato sauce on a cob the lady said it was an odd combo i told her dont knock it til you try it.
she told us it was 'national chocolate day' so when we went shops we used it as an excuse to have chocolate XD I had white naturally ;) we brought his parents chocolate too
we ate when we got home
then played pokemon Im doing X
I left at about 1:30 just to check on Oz and put girls out
which I did and Oz had eaten some of the treats I had given him :D
I sat in my room and made Lynn an xmas card
my brother came home with Ellie
Ive barely spoken to her I just thought Id leave em too it
theyve been in the living room the whole time watching crap
doesnt bother me im happy out the way and seems to cheer my brother up
amazing how good natured he is when he has a friend over
I got Oz ready to go for his vets appt
He was really stressing in the car
and he was holding onto the vents looking out of them which he's never done before
i ended up waiting a lil while at the while
i kept moving so i wasnt sitting next to dogs
it was busy everywhere so the noise and stress wasnt good on Oz
we got seen and the vet was pleased with his progress and said his wound looked good
I have to take him back on friday morning for his final check up
I got home and realized Oz had done a HUGE wee in the carrying case
it made his blanket soaking I threw it straight in the washer
it came out still stained so i put Vanish on it then gave it another wash and it looks alright
I decided Id go to sleep as I felt I wouldnt survive the night
I warmed my left over pasta up
and ate it in my room with Oz
He helped me get stuff ready for my sleep over tonight
he's nosy like that
Im going over to adam's around 10 and his mum is taking us down to his work at 10:30pm
im gonna go in and see if I can find him if not I'll go back to the car
then were coming home and he'll unwind and i'll ether go bed or sit with him which ever he wants to do really.
then im gonna come home around 8 - 9am for the pets
not sure what im actually doing tomorrow tho
I keep trying to think but nothing comes to mind /:
Evening~
I slept pretty well last night
but god I am exhausted I really am
I'm so going bed early tonight
I almost fell asleep a few times today
My parents went away today
mum didn't want to go for a few reasons
me (mentally not brilliant this week)
oz (had his op yesterday)
dad (annoyed her like hell last weekend)
but i told her to get gone
after she'd packed half the house's contents she went with dad
I spent my morning starting the cushions
it was hard work actually and then I had pigs to tend to
and feeding Oz round the clock
cus he still hasnt eaten by himself
he looks more awake today and his wound is clean
but he wont eat
the vet said no to him playing outside
i let him out for 3 hours
it was going to be 30mins but he was so happy i didnt want to take that from him
he was laying in the sun, had the odd strand of grass, laying in the shed, hopping round
I left him and the girls outside and went for a walk
its been a while since ive done a walk and the full walk of going into the woods at that
all was fine until i walked into the field which borders the woods
i saw 2 women and 2 dogs
1 border collie and 1 grey hound
well as soon as i walked through did both dogs make a bolt to me
the grey hound stood back but not the collie
the collie decided to come charging and leaped up at me his front paws hitting my chest with ease. he then went round my back i looked up to see its owner coming (slowly i may add) she shouted "don't worry she wont hurt you" by this point the dog had grabbed hold of the back of my hoodie with it's teeth and gave me a pull, I span round. the woman said "i can tell you dont have a dog" HOW IS THAT RELEVANT!!! IF I DID HAVE A DOG IT WOULDNT BE GOING ROUND BEING AGGRESSIVE TO PEOPLE but my brain was so focused on the attack i couldnt speak. the dog came back to my front, leaped up and grabbed hold of my arm i felt my arm in its mouth, only 1minute before did i think about taking my hoodie off as i was hot im so glad i didnt as i dont want to think the marks id have now. the woman came at this point "bad girl eva, I am sorry."
I was severally shaken. I just said "forget it" and walked off as quick as I could
there was a million things i could have said to her and looking back i should have got her details and reported the dog as a dangerous dog. cus im sorry but if your dog is like that it should be on a lead at all times and maybe a mussel too. stupid stupid stupid dog owners!!!!!!
I got out the woods and after a few tears dropped (i was coming down from the adrenaline and shock) i rang mum as luckily i had my phone on me. i just needed to speak to someone. i got a lil teary on the phone but i was ok. i mean really i was ok.
i got in and chucked my clothes in the washer as i felt dirty in them after that thing had me in it's mouth but on inspection i had a lot of mud on me from it's paws.
I got dressed and had a tea with two sugars
bloody needed it
checked on my girls
did a bit more sewing but i knew i needed to stop as i was pushing myself
so what did i do? i pushed myself a bit more
i danced -_____-
i really need to talk to myself sometimes
i then had to make myself dinner
i have been feeding Oz as much as I can, my brother keeps going out and i need his help to feed Oz but i really did think Oz would be more better than what he is
he is worrying me.
I'll keep him in as long as i can.
tomorrow he has got vets at 3:45
tomorrow its saturday
my usual saturday routine is cleaning pets out and having lunch with adam
but i feel a bit uneasy about leaving Oz so im not sure what to do really
might see if adam wants to come here or something i just feel i'll be away from Oz for too many hours. unless i literally go up and have lunch and come home again.
we'll sort something out.
my nails for this week
got adam's mum's nails to do
she wants halloween nails
