Jack's moved out his flat

 PonPon~

So Friday

I had school and i couldnt wait for the day to end, kinda didnt feel in the mood to work really XD

also jack was leaving at 1pm to go get his drop foot looked at which involved being electrocuted at the hospital and stabbed with needles, he did not enjoy

so I was left with Julia to man the fort

after school I dashed home and got changed then went to Nigel's 

I complained throughout the day that - I did not want to go >.>

but when I got to Nigel's I felt ok and I told him how it was and so he did cupping on me which i asked for, a massage but not too brutal then the acupuncture needles he put little packs of herbs on the top of them and lit them!!! so weird having needles in you which are on fire 0.0 the room was so smoky it made my nose run, and yes i could feel the needles warming up so that was 8 needles in my back on fire. Then he told me he could help my jaw!!! wish i told him ages about it!! i had 6 needles in my left jaw - the problem area. it is a very strange feeling, having needles in the face but when he took them out it felt like i'd had a stroke! my left side of my face felt numb almost when youve had treatment at the dentist.

i came back and showered as i smelt smoky XD and was a bit oily from the massage

then i got my stuff ready and went to jack's

we order takeaway, we had Wagamama - japanese food

I had chicken katsu curry which was meh alright, easy on the jaw but didnt really enjoy what i was eating. those two had a main, jack had a side and theo had 2 or 3 sides i cant remember

then we ordered our desserts - what i live for

we racked up £40 worth of dessert.... 0.0 thats impressive

i had smartie cookies dough with fudge pieces and white chocolate curls, with custard (mircrowaved it all when it arrived)

jack had 'VIP' milkshake (which weighed a ton) and a cake

theo had the same milkshake and 3 other cakey/waffle things - i have no idea where he puts it

so yeah a lot of sugar in the room, i loved my cookie dough and it woke me up XD jack said my pupils had dilated which i am often told when i had a load of sugar at once XD we watched some scout zombie film but i wasnt watching it i was too busy thinking about the food i had just put in my body, so i tried to sleep so i could forget about the thoughts

we played on switchs in bed and went to sleep

saturday

i woke up after having slept well then had a bath and breakfast, a nice leisurely start to my day. Then I went shopping~ jack was packing and so was theo, kinda felt id only get in the way

I picked up some underwear in the sales, a skirt for school which is grey wooly and elasticated waist for school for £13 and then a skirt for school reduced from £36 to £10! i picked bigger sizes as i feel i cant fit comfortably in my former clothes >.> hate tight confining clothes. I got some oven gloves for work too which i was well happy about

i came back and then i started falling asleep on jack's bed, it was lunch time but didnt want to interrupt his packing, i was hungry and was dreaming of doughnuts, so much so that i was drooling on the pillow XD jack woke me and there was so much drool. he said it was gross. that he thought he was gonna end up with 'a quiet, meek nerd girl' but instead ended up with 'an untrained pet' i laughed cus its true. i aint no lady. He warmed me up some soup and we had lunch together. then I took some pain killers and went to sleep on his bed whilst he worked. I was there if he needed help but i know it was stuff only he could do and sort really.

Theo's mum helped him take his stuff over to Harvey's then he unpacked there

we got a txt at 4pm asking if we wanted to go over to harvey's for dinner

i was happy to do that, me and jack walked over to harvey's whic is about a 30min walk

we got there and i was able to see how much work harvey had been able to put into his house. I found theo unpacking his stuff in his new bedroom XD

we had sausage and pork cobs which I cooked ^^

jack jokingly said "a woman's place is in the kitchen" harvey asked how i put up with Jack but i know he was only joking and had come to check on me several times to see if i was ok. harvey said i didnt need to cook. but to be honest i didnt do it for anyone else but myself! it was the warmest room in the house and it gave me something to do rather than sitting cold in an uncomfortable chair so i was  fine doing it. i didnt clear up - i wasnt gonna do that much!

theo said "can me and harvey have you as our maid"

i said "yeah if you pay me and supply the outfit"

he said "would you wear an an outfit?"

i said "yeah id love to wear a maid's uniform" ^^ 

jack said "what you have in mind Jo and what theo has in mind are two very different costumes" XD

i told jack quietly that i wanted to be gone for 9pm cus we had to walk back and stuff it gets cold and i was getting tired and ready for my meds

so at 8:30pm he kindly said we were gonna go ^^ i was glad he didnt make me stay there til 9pm

but to be honest i think jack and theo were quite tired from packing and cleaning, especially as jack had a couple of whiskeys 

we walked back together and he made me a hot chocolate and i took my meds then i played on okami in bed, i turned to see jack reading his phone but looked very sleepy. so we had an early night of 10:30pm

I didnt sleep tho

i woke up at 2:15am aching and had bad stomach ache, i felt sick as well

so i got up and jack offered to get up but i knew he had a lot on so i said it was fine he said "wake me if youre still up in 15mins time"

2 hours later i returned to bed

i had awful stomach pains and sickness, i worried i had eaten something bad. only when it passed did i return to bed

i moved jack out of his side of the bed and crawled into his side - it was warm XD

he cuddled me but i had my cheek on his chest and eventually my jaw said no more and it hurt, i crawled away from him and eventually dropped off at 5am 

got woke up at 7am by his alarm!!!! i was so mad. i was tired and didnt know he had set an alarm

i was so grouchy this morning, he found it cute but that annoyed me more

he made me tea cakes and a cup of tea and passed me my meds

and said "please dont kill me" XD must have looked rough and scary

i had my final bath this morning whilst jack packed and then once i was out i packed my stuff i kept at jack's. His step dad came and they packed up one car load. once they left i left really and i could see jack felt sad. he was happy in his flat and enjoying his independence and now off to his mum's

so i left him to wait for harvey, theo and theo's mum to turn up and help him clean the flat

i wasnt gonna make myself tired for monday when they had all that man power. 

i got home and saw Oz and pretty much went to bed i was shattered

think it was a combo of busy saturday - nigel's treatment and lack of sleep 

i got up and had lunch then did an hour of dance + yoga

showered and then went to put all my stuff away from jack's and what i brought from the shops

took me ages actually

since then i havent done much else been tired and spent time with Oz

designed my nails for the week that i will do later

i got my stuff ready for school too, got my new skirt and my new knee supports to have ago with. Oh and my jaw is doing a lot better!

i will drop jack a txt to see how he is getting on as im sure by now he has finished his cleaning and at his mum's sorting his stuff out. i just hope the bungalow comes soon so hes not on the sofa for too long

he might have the odd night here as my parents say hes welcome too but it means sharing a single bed. so if he stays it wont be til the weekend as if i cant share my bed and have a rough night i do not want to be tired for school so i need to do a 'test' night at the weekend first.

so thats it now the end of an era for jack his freedom has gone

both him and theo have enjoyed staying in the city centre and said they would have continued living there. so i feel like cus of me they have had to move on. But in a way its good cus harvey has been working from home and been getting a bit lonely and theo my god hes hated working from home so now they are together at least they have company. and jack...when we get the bungalow he will be happier im sure. 

im dreading seeing what mood he is in tomorrow morning...i will be ready with a strong coffee for him

let the next chapter start i guess~

takeaway and weekend soon!

 Evening

So yesterday I went to work and did the usual, and worked XD

it was an alright day actually, I had slept ok too apart from waking up to shift sides just to relieve my jaw against the pillow

after work I went to jack's

we didnt do a lot, i said i needed to exercise. he told me to take a night off and have a bath

so i did, and he gave my back a massage when i came out ^^

we had pizza for dinner which i kinda managed but after a while a gave in, i had had enough of chewing so i let him polish it off XD we talked with theo, we had hot chocolate and biscuits and i played on my switch for a bit but called it a night at 9:45pm.

i slept well actually, only to wake to turn sides on my jaw

this morning jack made me eat loads for breakfast damn him, i was so full

work was ok but my god it was hectic, i had 3 practicals across 2 floors first thing in the morning and hadnt been able to prep any of it yesterday due to it all needing to made first thing on the day. i felt like i had done my 10,000 steps by 9:30am! i was exhausted. 

the rest of the day was tiring as usual and i was aching bad, i had my pain killers a few hours earlier than i usually take them but i was just suffering pointlessly 

i got the day done somehow, its like a bloody achievement

it was nice having Luke back tho as he had his corona test results back within 19 hours so he only missed a day of school. 

i got back and had a brew with mum, Oz was busy chasing the pigeons outside XD

so i did 10mins of yoga and 20mins of dance and felt a bit looser then i had a shower, had dinner, sorted crap out and now i have my lunch to sort for tomorrow and meds then i can sit down with Oz then go to bed as i am done 0.0

tomorrow i have school

then i have nigel's at 4:15pm so its a quick wizz home, wizz out

i dont wanna go to nigel's but mum insisted i go, but the thought of more pain doesnt sit well right now as last time i went i hurt bad for days afterwards and felt no better. so i dont wanna go through that for nothing. i dont mind more pain if its gonna help but it did nothing last time - a rant i will put to him tomorrow! 

then i will see jack in the evening for a take away and sleep over!

making the most of being in his flat till his last day on sunday TT^TT

 Evening

I went to bed I think around 8:30pm, was shattered and had enough of listening to my dad's endless noises -____- that man is so annoying

I struggled to sleep tho my head was busy, I yawned on my pillow, just a normal action you dont think twice about doing, and SNAP my jaw cracked T^T it was already really bad but cracking it against the pillow really really hurt. I was in pain, it hurt to just lay my face on the pillow - ether side

and I can't sleep on my back or my front as it causes too many joints to ache.

In the end at 10pm I relented and got up for yet more painkillers (overdosing now) and a hot chocolate as I felt I needed to line my stomach with something

I went to bed at 10:30pm and tried to not get annoyed that I couldnt sleep as I was stressing about being tired for work the following day.

Did not sleep well as I kept waking up to move my jaw as pain was waking me up T^T

I woke up eventually at 5am and kinda napped til my alarm but ended up getting up at 5:50 as I had had enough of waking up every 10mins thinking my alarm was about to go off >.>

I was quite shattered this morning and my head couldnt think straight

i somehow made it to school on time

school was fine, we obviously didnt have julia there but luckily there wasnt any chemistry practicals going off. I didnt have any practicals ether, just handing out microscopes. so we were able to get the day done without killing ourselves off. I have got an a-level practical tomorrow tho but its a small one involving cheese and ethanol 

i even had time to paint some display work today! so yeah quite a good day really 

i struggled to even eat the sweetcorn in my soup at lunch, anything the requires biting down really hurts and sends a shooting pain from my jaw joint down my neck and up to my temple. sadly nothing can be done about my condition it has to just naturally heal by its self

what I have is called 

Temporomandibular disorder

I got home and sat with mum - Oz was too busy in the garden, and by too busy i mean digging tunnels under bushes -______- the mess and destruction that rabbit can do at times is impressive

I did some dancing as I felt like doing that rather than going for a walk, i was amazed after 30mins how sweaty i was but i felt a bit looser for doing it, a lot of joints cracked...

had a shower and dinner and packed my stuff to take over to jack's tomorrow after school

we are gonna eat pizza after school so i hope hes chosen some good flavours from the shop today, also i hope i can eat the damn things. i gave up eating all of my dinner today just cus id had enough of the pain of chewing even tho it was only pasta!

it will get better its just cus i made it worse last week and last night...

so yeah tomorrow is school then jack's

checked dungarees

 Evening

didnt go to jack's in the end

he didnt get home from his friend's house til 7:50pm to which he said "home now if you want to come over" i said "it takes me 15-12mins to drive over, I'll be in bed in an hour's time. it doesnt seem worth it" cus yeah i'd literally only have an hour with him til id want to be in bed for school in the morning so I couldnt see the point really. So i unpacked my bag, got my pyjamas on and had an hour's long sit with Ozwald on the sofa

so much for having an evening together doing what i want to do and eating treats >.>

I didnt sleep well due to sleeping on my jaw, it kept waking me up being in pain -____-

this morning I got to school to find one the taps in a lab had been left on over the weekend...?how?

so the lab was like flooded so I had the job of cleaning that up, not sure if it was my job or not but all well, can't work with a lake in a classroom. I got back to the prep room to find Jack on the phone

Julia was on the phone - she wasnt coming in

last week her eldest daughter had only been in school 2 days, saying she felt poorly and so Julia let her stay home. But Julia then said that over the weekend she didnt pick up and now has a temperature and her stomach is still off - both of which are covid symptoms in younger people. So Julia was taking her to get a test done, therefor wouldn't be and won't be in until the test results are back :/ 

I suppose she wants to be safe than sorry

this meant me and jack had to cover for her, whilst it was tempting to say "sorry chemists no chemistry practicals today" we looked and both of us had a quite day and could actually do the chemistry practicals. So thats what we did. And it was like the good old days when me and jack first met - him doing the chemistry practicals, me clearing up and washing up XD

I did help more than when I first started, but of course jack gives me the washing up to do >.>

and my god did some of those chemicals stink!!! awful awful stuff. So i couldnt leave the washing up festering in julia's prep room. It was that bad that the smell had stunk out the classroom/lab so the next class afterwards actually changed rooms! i must say the stuff did give me a headache and i well ventilated that room too.

I have got all my stuff sorted for tomorrow so I can cover for Julia once again as I know she won't be til at the earliest of thursday.  

School was tiring but I survived, think the super long rest over the weekend helped somewhat

Jack paid attention to me XD think he dared not after last night. and he wants me over wednesday night and asked what id like to eat and said he would get it all in ^^ I kinda want pizza I think I can manage that on my jaw...if i eat slowly enough i hope.  then he said him and theo are having a supreme takeaway on friday as its the last one together XD so it involves dinner and pudding, he has invited me so i said i would join in. i know i already feel guilty about eating take away and i havent eaten it yet!

I got home and had a brew with mum and Ozwald

me and mum went for a walk then i had a shower as i stunk, and then had a salad now im on here. Got to get my stuff ready for tomorrow and get ready to start it all again.

Oh and i several comments on how cute I looked today and people saying my outfit was great. it was the first time i had worn my checked dungaree shorts to work ^^ 

think i need to diet

 evening

I couldnt sleep last night but that was due to how much sleep i had had during the day

so i got up in the end as i felt hungry and sick so i had some cereal and played okami

then i was in bed for 12:45am

i slept through the night after that

this morning i still felt dead

i lazed round and sat with Ozwald then actually motivated myself to go for an hour's walk by myself at 10:30am, when I got back I showered and had some lunch then made my soup for the week.

I went on my laptop for a bit and ordered a kitchen roll holder and put a bid on a wall mirror, just stuff for the bungalow-to-be kinda thing. 

then i was left home alone so i did an hour's worth of exercise which consisted of yoga and dance and blasting my music out, it was quite nice actually. thought it might help but its just left my body throbbing in pain, so it doesnt matter what i do im just destined to be in pain...im so tired of it all and i have work tomorrow too.

during my dancing i actually recorded myself doing a dance as i wanted to see if i could do the movements properly. and whilst i was happy to see that yes i was doing things correctly, what i wasnt happy to see was the size of my arms!! T^T think i need to go on a diet, im just chunky. since returning to work i have lost 2.5kg but obviously i have a long way to go >.> think im like 64kg now but id like to be in the 50's if i can

the other day i tried on some work wear from my teaching assistant days and found they were tight on me, this was depressing. but mum said its because when  i was a teaching assistant i was still quite poorly and skinny so its no shock they dont fit as well as i have put weight on and look better for it, but i dont see it that way. i dont have a nice slim feminine body, my body is chunky and looks like its ready to rugby tackle someone -______-

my jaw is bad like it hurts to put my teeth together and eat so i have been eating foods that require little chewing -_____-

ahhhh life....i shall try not to complain too much

think jack has got back from brandon's so i will go over shortly so we actually have some time together. then it will be school tomorrow and i will start enduring the week all over again.

think it will be weird when i go over to jack's as he has been taking a lot of stuff over to his mum's today so i imagine it will look quite sparse in the flat

anyway tomorrow is a new day and maybe i will be in less pain? im gonna watch what i eat for the sake of my jaw and my weight

a whole saturday wasted recovering

 Evening

I was in bed for 8:40pm

just dead -______-

I slept really well apart from waking up at 4am for a massive wee XD but fell back to sleep til 8am, cant say I felt much better for sleeping but it was nice not having to wake to an alarm and not wake up at 6am.

This morning I sat with my Ozwald X3

went for a good walk with mum, then did 20mins of dancing but it was very half hearted. I just hadnt got the energy at all so I showered and went to bed for like 2 hours

woke up and had my lunch and checked stuff on my laptop and went to bed for a further hour

i swear i have done nothing with my day which isnt like me

its not fair i have to work then use my weekends to literally recover from bloody working >.>

some life

i did pop to tk maxx just to get out of my dads way today as hes like a bloody mentalist 

i didnt find anything worth buying, brought jack some more of this berry tea he is really right now, he brought some and took it to work with him and is well happy with it and says he needs to buy more, i will revile it to him on monday as a lil surprise. 

i was gonna do another walk but one by the river, but to be honest i felt so exhausted i couldnt face it. its very frustrating feeling this tired.

so yeah i have done bugger all really!

i came home and made myself a cob for dinner, having to eat soft foods again as i snapped my jaw yesterday again, eating an apple at work. all those weeks recovery gone out the window :/ 

so it hurts to eat on it again T^T

i did so a deep facial massage using my gua sha thing to try and ease the tension and pain in my jaw this evening, it did help a bit and gave me something to do

jack has been packing his stuff up and cleaning his flat

he asked me this morning if i would drop some stuff off at harveys today but i turned him down as i just felt too dead and yeah i couldnt face it. but i said if his mum cant help him do it tomorrow i would help him next weekend with it. 

he is going to brandon's for a bbq tomorrow and i was invited but told jack i needed to rest really, that i couldnt face entertaining 5 other people. but he text me today saying brandon would like it if i came over but its okay if i dont want to. so now i am unsure what to do. if i have another day like today then forget it. but if i feel good tomorrow then yeah i might show my face but i see. cant say im that fussed but thats probably cus i am feeling anti social XD im seeing jack in the evening ether way tho as we are going school together

tonight i might give my nails a paint, the lady bugs i painted on them really stained my skin for a couple of days XD im gonna do simple spots tonight as yeah i cant think of anything good to do on em

so tomorrow i will see how the day takes me

im dead, jack packing his stuff

 Evening

my god yesterday I was just done

I had worked myself to death I feel

so i got home and fell asleep on my bed, ate dinner and sat with Oz then went to bed at 8:45pm

couldnt stay awake anymore. I didnt do any exercise, despite eating a cookie, a cupcake, a flap jack, biscuits....high sugar day but it was someones birthday at work so it couldnt be helped XD

Today I woke up to my alarm but it made me jump i about leapt up in bed, plush fell on the floor and everything. quickest 9 hours ive ever known >.>

couldnt be bothered with school but I got the day done, no practicals todays which was nice

jack was telling me about he has to pack some more as his mum is taking some of his stuff back to her house for when he moves back home next weekend. then he talked about the bungalow, the decorating and other stuff that needs to be done. and i looked at him and the tears just flowed out. luckily we were alone in the science office. so he cuddled me and asked why i was crying

i said "im sorry, im just so tired. its hard to cope with stuff when youre tired, you know? its just a bit daunting about just how much needs to be done. im this exhausted now just working never mind trying to do a house up, work, and look after myself. i'll be dead jack"

but he consoled me as he usually does and made me a brew and yeah just picked my spirits up which i feel he has to do a lot lately -____- i tell him he could have an easier life with a healthy normal girl but he tells me each and everytime he wants me instead :)

pain clinic finally called me today. so i have got a telephone appointment for 5th october with me usual consultant. and then an actual face to face appointment with the hyper mobility specialist 14th october. so i will need to take the morning off work for that one but i need to go. jack is fine with it all and glad i am getting help - hopefully

today when i got home mummy made me brew, gave me flap jack, microwaved my hot bag and got Oz out on the sofa for me ^^

we went for a walk then i did 40mins of yoga cus you know i seem to enjoy killing myself

jack is packing his stuff up - which is making everything feel much more real to me 0.0

i dont think i am seeing him til sunday night as hes sorting his stuff out tomorrow, sunday he is having a bbq with his friends, i was invited but i feel like i dont have the energy to look happy and healthy for 5 other people. so i opted out there. but he says he will see me in the evening and we will do whatever i like and eat sweet treats. i said "you have your online gaming at 8pm tho for 2 hours" and right there and then he cancelled it. i was surprised actually as he never misses it. i said "why did you do that??" he said "i need a break besides i want to spend some time with you, think you need it as well" which was nice of him but realistically we're still only gonna be spending 2-3 hours with each other which is like 1 hour more than last weekend. but its fine as soon im sure we will be sick at the sight of each other XD

tomorrow

thank god it is the weekend, seriously -_____-

i plan to clean my Ozwald out, do a walk, do some dancing and yeah anything else i feel like doing really.