Evening~~
I slept like crap
I couldnt get off I felt like death i ached so much
so I got up at midnight after trying to sleep for 2 hours
Then from there woke up loads
just a pee take
i have got a doctors appointment on like 25th feb to get this looked at
I had school today
I was anxious about going during the night
god knows why
so I was anxious when i was driving to school
my morning task for like 3 hours was repairing text books
we had lunch and we played the mini Connect4 I took in
i lost big style XD
i took my cake in it was appreciated by the science staff who wished me happy birthday
a lot said "youre 27!?"
yup
followed up with "you dont look it" i said "i sure dont act it"
a lot of them said i look about 23
guess its better to look younger than older
im the oldest out of the technicians
I was told that me jack, alan, and 2 other girls are gonna go to
a pub quiz in the city centre on tuesday night at 7pm
im gonna suck! and im the oldest out the group! i should be better XD
im anxious about it but im also looking forward to it
ive decided not to say no to stuff, to be open to trying these things that make me anxious
as doing these things like going out is what i feel i should be doing at my age
kinda makes me feel normal
the rest of the afternoon was dull tasks
and i was always putting jack off his work XD
i dont think i stop talking
he doesnt mind he says
i tried eating a banana on the way home
as id only had hot chocolate at school as food is giving me stomach ache on work days
i had a bit of stomach ache after hot chocolate and a bit of cake
but the banana finished me off
why cant i eat when i have work?
i came in and had a brew with mum
then did a bit of dancing as i felt i needed to loosen off somehow
then i had a shower and sat with Oz
got a few bits ready for tomorrow
tomorrow is manchester!
up at 6am and mia and rob are picking me up at 7:15am
early start but it will be good :)
it will be a tiring weekend but i know i will enjoy it
I will be back home around 3pm sunday
mum did a roast dinner tonight as my 'birthday tea' it was good
as whilst id been at school she'd baked cup cakes ^^
im yet to have one
heres how far i am with my painting
Hello~~~
Ah im officially 27~
Not that I feel it at all
mentally around 18 and body of a 50 year old XD
and things probably aint gonna improve on that ether XD
So last night I slept really poor
i was up and stuff
i ached like crazy
it was that massage
my back felt like someone had ran over it and then reversed XD
the weather was horrid outside it was lashing it down with strong wind and rain
i even dreamed about bad weather as i think i could hear it in my sleep
so i felt shattered upon waking on my birthday -____-
I did some dancing this morning which felt good
then I had a shower
then I painted, got all the squares painted! so just got to outline them
then I opened my stuff
my brother got me a flask, ive wanted a flask for a while now
and its slate marble looking which reminds me of something he'd choose
mum gave me a lilo and stitch ornament
its amazing and really big too
she also got me a bunny mug
karen brought me a manicure, never had one before
tara brought me cute bunny oven gloves, a bunny mug, lip balm, and chocolate
me and mum went out to a cafe we like
we leave it as a treat so it doesnt become frequent
we shared a chicken and bacon panini with chips
been ages since i had chips!
then we shared butterscotch cake
i was soooooo full afterwards but i think its because ive not realy been eating lunch lately
so it made a change to actually have lunch
as lately ive just had a yoghurt or something
we left there and went round some charity shops
then came home and i sat with Oz having a hot chocolate~
then I finished my squares
got stuff ready for tomorrow for school
packed some stuff to take to manchester just so i havent got it all to do after work tomorrow
i doodled on the cake packaging im taking in tomorrow
just did a chibi and wrote "i want to eat cake" in japanese cus im awesome like that
then we went yoga
karen announced to the class it was my birthday
i said "yup another year closer to death" everyone laughed
karen didnt look impressed XD
cant help myself, especially when ive had sweet cake
tomorrow i have work
and Jack says hes got some boring work lined up for me -____-
then im coming home and packing for manchester
about it really
so yeah another year older
i havent done a lot today really but i know manchester will make up for it
im glad ive been able see my family and friends this week
i feel its been spread over the week instead of being in one day
bring 28 soon be in my 30
jesus
what age will i be when i start acting my age i wonder?
the age gap between me and my other half is growing
she is still very much 18 and im noticing our age difference more and more
Yo~~
I took a sleeping tablet last night
sent me to sleep but didnt keep me asleep -____-
need tranquillisers
But still I woke up feeling groggy but like Id had deeper sleep some how
I was a bit outta it all morning
i managed some painting and ive got 16 squares left i do believe
I went food shopping with mum
picked up a white chocolate tray bake to take into work on friday
we came back and we had an early lunch and then set off for this massage and acupuncture
we had a lil trouble finding the place
but got there and both of us were called through to an open treatment room
were there was bamboo screens separating patients
an american woman saw to me and she told me she had a degree in psychology
and cus of the notes she took from me id ticked psychosis
she kinda started talking about that kinda
and all i could think about was that id finished my psychology sessions yesterday
i was not wanting anymore!
she massaged me for i think 45mins or 30 mins
ether way it was alright and a bit different
then this guy came and did my acupuncture
i had 16 needles in my stomach
all of which didnt hurt so it was ok
but he left me there for 30 mins and i was getting back ache and bum ache
the music was repetitive too
mum said she had got back ache as well and found the music annoying
and we both felt a bit weird how it was an open room treatment
we said it was a good experience but wouldnt have it again
we came back and we'd been ages
i sat with Oz and had a brew
but everything tastes horrid today due to the sleeping tablet
i felt quite tired and done in and fell asleep with Oz on my knee!
we got up and at 4pm went for a cold damp walk
but felt better for going out
then came back and went on my laptop for a bit
havent done much since then
might do a bit of dancing
but my head is so messed up i cant think or anything my emotions and moods are a mess
dont know if its acupuncture or simple tiredness
hopefully im ok tomorrow
as tomorrow...
I'm....
27!
more like 17 XD
never gonna mature
but yeah im another year older come 2am
i havent got anything planned well not much
im dancing in the morning
followed by cake out with mum
then yoga in the evening
kinda just another day
say goodbye to the 26 year old me~
Evening~~
I couldnt be bothered to do my diary last night
too stuck in my own head to express my day in the best light
so I did it today~
But as for today
I didnt sleep and had to get up in the night as I ached a lot
I got up at 8am and it was another cold frosty morning
doesnt stop Ozwald coming out tho
I did 40mins of yoga
followed by 30 mins of dancing
i was tired
i was tired anyway before the exerise
and exercise felt hard today
everything felt hard today just like its hard to get going
and stuff taking extra effort
i had a much needed shower
and then cleaned my room which took effort i have to say
was not in the mood but got on with it
had lunch and went to bed for an hour
i got up and did some painting
and had a tea
then i went to psychology - an appointment i didnt want to attend
we talked about everything and how much i had improved in accepting myself
and the way i am and that im not crazy
and we basically agreed that it was best to finish my sessions!!
after a whole sodding year of going to that place im finally finished!!
well happy ^^
so he said I can come back if i need to tho
which made me feel better that i not just left alone
but i do feel it was ready and time to move on
so yeah i just gotta get on with stuff basically
i know what i need to work on and what to accept and i need to stop seeing myself in bad lights and that people will ether accept the way i am or not really
i left that place feeling happy i hadnt got to return!
i came in and announced it to mum
as i was really happy that i was finished with it all
we had a brew and i sat with Oz
now im just doing my diary and wondering how to pass my evening
as mia has said shes not feeling great and doesnt want to pass it onto me
so not seeing her now
i hope shes ok for manchester on saturday
ill probably revise science
or do some drawing
my nails this week~
bit messy actually
Tomorrow I am gonna go food shopping with mum so I can choose a cake
to bring into school on friday for my birthday just to share with the science staff
and then we have an acupuncture massage at a place we havent tried before but came recommended from yoga karen. rest of the day not sure what i will do yet. depends how i feel after the massage i guess.
Yoi~
I didn't sleep great
but still got on with my day
I danced for half hour til I was sweaty and showered
and pretty much got ready for work
felt a bit off tho
I got to work and saw everyone
but my head was so busy i couldnt think straight
and Jack asked if I was ok
i said I was fine
i was ok i was just in my own head I think
I got the shift done anyway
I came home and pretty much got changed and had
a brew with Oz for 10 mins and went out to see Tara
I havent seen Tara this year so I was looking forward to seeing her
I was lucky enough to sit with her Hammy who was so damn cute
then James brought the bunnies down and my god Rocky!
he had such a foul mood on him
wouldnt stop biting me! i didnt mind as its fleeting pain and it amuses me
if anything and it reminds me of how Kip used to be with me
we then went onto Just dance together which was fun
we were both sweating afterwards but it was fun
i showed her a couple of my dances Ive been learning
she was well impressed and she knows i love doing my jpop dances
so she was supportive of it, dont think ive ever danced for her
she offered me dinner but it was 8pm
i needed to drive home, shower, have Oz out and Id had enough so I came home
Mum was annoyed with me that I hadnt really eaten all day
so I was made to put Oz home and get food at like 9pm
but I got something then I went to bed
I texted Jack to say I was sorry for being off with him
bless him he thought after sunday that i was in a mood with him
so i was glad to clear that up
he told me he was watching Lovelive! in bed
made me think that I havent watched anime in bed for agesssss
thats all i did as a teenager XD
It was good to see Tara and she gave me a birthday present
and we said we'd meet up on the 17th and do waffles~
something to look forward to to
Konbanwa~~
I didn't sleep
had vivid dreams and woke up at 5:45am and got up at 6:15am
it was stone cold in the house
I did 30mins of yoga and ate cereal and read
and by 7:20 I was back in bed and fell asleep for an hour luckily
I went for a walk this morning
and came in and conditioned my hair with that stuff
but wasnt that impressed with it
I got myself ready to go meet Jack
I was nervous but it was nice having something to actually do on a sunday
I got into the city centre fine
and I was early so I looked round a few shops but didnt get anything
I walked round til I saw him at our meeting point
he had his head down looking at his phone next to a wall
so I came along and kicked my foot up the wall
scaring the living crap outta him XD it was well worth it
id won a point already XD
We walked up to a dessert place, that same chain me and mia visit in manchester
but i havent been in Nottingham's before
so i knew it did cookie dough
we got a table and we both had cookie dough
i had white chocolate with custard he had i think peanut butter with ice cream
we ate that and left and walked round a couple of stores mainly looking at manga
then we went to a pub for a drink cus it was cold
so we both had tea
we sat round a table and he did me 2 tarot card readings it was good and his cards were so weird to look at it i enjoyed it. i have loved tarot cards for years i can remember doing a school art project with them ive always wanted to have a go with some
we did an arm wrestle as were both that mature
safe to say i won, yes i actually won. that guy is weedy XD
we sat and talked and talked he can talk which is nice
i told him about my split personality and it didnt freak him out which surprised me
he offered to give me a hug as he said he felt that was better than expressing it through words
i was so nervous and scared. god knows what off so he gave me a hug
and i was shaking the whole time which he noticed >< not good with guys
we had a hot chocolate and by 7:45pm we decided to call it a night
he waited at my bus stop for me despite me telling him id be fine
so that was nice of him
i got home and got in my pajamas
rounded up Oz and sat with him for half an hour
its now 9:30pm a time im usually in bed for but needed to do diary
im gonna read in bed now
tomorrow i have a telephone appt with the doctor
then i have work
heres some face sheets i won on ebay for £2.50
considering theres 7 heres thats good value as a face sheet in stores is a minimum of £1 each
Jack was really good company
and we both dont socialise much
so we said we'd try and meet more often
we'd like to try ice skating
its good ive made another friend ^^
Evening~
Didn't sleep, ended up getting up
cus my god I ached before bed
I didnt even watch 8 out of 10 cats because I was fidgeting a lot
and just tired, i knew I wasnt gonna be able to sit there til 10
This morning
I went back to bed at 6am, and woke up at 8:30am
I did a bit of dancing for 30 mins and was dripping with sweat
had a shower and went for my hair cut
got a good tidy ^^ Jo was happy for me with my new job and stuff
I came back and found mum had cleaned out pets for me
i thanked her and drove her to some shops where we got a new lamp for
the back room thats been transformed
and we got some hair care stuff to try from Boots
picked up a one time use conditioner to try which im gonna give ago tomorrow
nothing like pampering after having my hair cut
after a hair cut i ether dye it or condition it, just to give it that boost~
Came home and had some lunch but it gave me stomach ache
which ive had all sodding day
why cant i eat!?
stupid food
I went for a walk as the sun was actually out but very cold think it was 3c
i came home and felt my chin and it was like freezing!
I did some painting~
its coming along nicely but it also means the side bits are coming up and I dont want to do the sides XD but i will get them done at some point
I sorted out my car insurance too which was a chore but gotta be done
this year i would have been passed my driving test 10 years ago in june!
gone so fast!
I sat with Oz for 90 mins
thats a feat for him to sit and for myself to sit!!
we were home alone and enjoying the quiet whilst i read the Hellequin Chronicles and then I watched 8 out of 10 cats which i didnt enjoy that much this week
i took him home not that i think he wanted to go home XD
Then I heated up some soup for my dinner which mum made yesterday
tasted well good
i ate it whilst watching anime
i havent watched anime in weeks
i gave a different series a go - Bungo Stray Dogs
for first episodes it was pretty good actually
so im gonna give it a go
I made dinner for my family as it helps mum
might try doing some science tonight
i need to knuckle down with it but its depressing how much i have to learn
still i will try
i want to paint my nails tonight as well
tomorrow
nervous
nervous
im meeting Jack ><
we're meeting at 2pm I believe
and going to a dessert place in the city centre
im nervous as i feel like im gonna make an idiot of myself
dessert place = sugar high = Jo being crazy
also I havent known him long and I dont want to ruin a starting friendship
hes probably gonna regret coming out XD
but we've texted loads since last night
mainly throwing insults at one another which comes naturally to me
we've talked about anime too and tarot cards
i love tarot cards and turns out he has a pack and can read them too *0*
if he remembers he will bring them tomorrow which will be amazing
im hoping to have cookie dough tomorrow~
not sure what to wear tho like a typical girl XD
but yeah nervous and hope it goes ok ><
looking forward to it tho
been agesssss since ive had company on a sunday!
Hope I sleep tonight
dont wanna look like a corpse
Oh and Molly keeps squeaking its very endearing~
