Evening yo!
I didn't sleep too badly
I did wake up at 7:30 with hayfever
i went to bed with sodding hay fever
My morning consisted of me spending time with the tissue box
until the spell had passed I sat and painted
added the 3rd coat of paint to the clouds and fox
then later on I drew in the details on the fox so I could start painting them
think its gonna look awesome when its finally finished which will 2021 XD
I am enjoying doing it
Later on in the morning I went in the car
then I got out and jogged back to the house which felt good
I didnt have Karen today as she was poorly
so I had the afternoon free
I fell asleep for an hour as i was mentally exhausted
mind is too busy far too busy
I designed adams mum's nails as i realised its her birthday during her next
set of nail art so she can have birthday nail X3
cant really remember what else i did today
my memory has been shocking as of late
tomorrow seeing mia at 11am then I have psychology at 1:30pm
to talk treatment plans
Thursday, 31 May 2018
Wednesday, 30 May 2018
A diagnosis? A Holiday!
Konbanwa
I slept pretty well last night
I got ready to see adam this morning
felt a little weird not being able to txt him as last night
his phone wouldnt charge and there for died, he texted me using his mummy's phone
I did a bit of dancing before I went out, got really sweaty in just 15mins! Effort!
So I got to his for 11am
we went out into a town and dropped his phone off for repair
we then went into a travel agents
where we were there for agessssss
the woman who saw to us was brilliant she wasnt a hard sell and gave us her
opinion and help
we sat looked at places and places until we decided on
Tenerife, for 17th October for a week!
We are staying in a lovely resort that has a water park 30min walk away!
It ticked a lot of boxes and we just got it booked
Adam paid the deposit for us
then we went to lunch, lunch i was wondering whether id be able to keep it down or not
i was nervous, anxious, feel sick. Just cus booking something this big is a bit of a shock to my system i have to say! Adam said I was curled in a ball on my seat in the travel agent he said i was tense when i came out too ><
We went back to his house and told his dad
and I didnt have too long with him really because I had psychiatrist to go and see
I saw mum's friend who works there too, I was embarrassed tho
The guy who saw me was helpful and got me to explain whats going off even tho he had my notes from my psychologist
I told him and went through a few things
he seemed pretty certain that he had a diagnosis for me
which surprised me as my psychologist didnt even seem to know whats going off
he thinks I have DID Dissociative Identity Disorder
which was formally known as Multiple Personality Disorder
I had heard of it, I mean I think a lot of us have heard of Multiple personality disorder
he said there isnt a cure (theres never a cure for anything i have/get!) he said I could try medication but nothing is out there that will cure it or even have an effect and they come with heavy side effects too, I told him I was loathe to try any medication. He said he will talk to my psychologist to talk about further treatment that will probably end up being talking sessions and after that fails apply for funding to go see a specialist.
It's kinda rare but there could be just as many people with DID as there is schizophrenia or Bipolar but not many people come forward and ask for help who have DID do to them feeling embarrassed and ashamed which I felt once I had been 'labeled'
So on friday im due to see the psychologist
see what happens from there
I came home and told mum and asked her if she felt ashamed or anything of me
she told me she didnt and that she feels sorry for me having it
I then texted adam about it
im not sure who I want to know. It sounds crazy
I dont want people to treat me differently or think me crazy.
still digesting it. I cant bare to tell any other family about it.
dad wont care and my brother i dont want him to feel he has a crazy sister.
Tomorrow I have karen and then maybe yoga
see how i feel
Card I made for my cousin who will be 20 soon!
I slept pretty well last night
I got ready to see adam this morning
felt a little weird not being able to txt him as last night
his phone wouldnt charge and there for died, he texted me using his mummy's phone
I did a bit of dancing before I went out, got really sweaty in just 15mins! Effort!
So I got to his for 11am
we went out into a town and dropped his phone off for repair
we then went into a travel agents
where we were there for agessssss
the woman who saw to us was brilliant she wasnt a hard sell and gave us her
opinion and help
we sat looked at places and places until we decided on
Tenerife, for 17th October for a week!
We are staying in a lovely resort that has a water park 30min walk away!
It ticked a lot of boxes and we just got it booked
Adam paid the deposit for us
then we went to lunch, lunch i was wondering whether id be able to keep it down or not
i was nervous, anxious, feel sick. Just cus booking something this big is a bit of a shock to my system i have to say! Adam said I was curled in a ball on my seat in the travel agent he said i was tense when i came out too ><
We went back to his house and told his dad
and I didnt have too long with him really because I had psychiatrist to go and see
I saw mum's friend who works there too, I was embarrassed tho
The guy who saw me was helpful and got me to explain whats going off even tho he had my notes from my psychologist
I told him and went through a few things
he seemed pretty certain that he had a diagnosis for me
which surprised me as my psychologist didnt even seem to know whats going off
he thinks I have DID Dissociative Identity Disorder
which was formally known as Multiple Personality Disorder
I had heard of it, I mean I think a lot of us have heard of Multiple personality disorder
he said there isnt a cure (theres never a cure for anything i have/get!) he said I could try medication but nothing is out there that will cure it or even have an effect and they come with heavy side effects too, I told him I was loathe to try any medication. He said he will talk to my psychologist to talk about further treatment that will probably end up being talking sessions and after that fails apply for funding to go see a specialist.
It's kinda rare but there could be just as many people with DID as there is schizophrenia or Bipolar but not many people come forward and ask for help who have DID do to them feeling embarrassed and ashamed which I felt once I had been 'labeled'
So on friday im due to see the psychologist
see what happens from there
I came home and told mum and asked her if she felt ashamed or anything of me
she told me she didnt and that she feels sorry for me having it
I then texted adam about it
im not sure who I want to know. It sounds crazy
I dont want people to treat me differently or think me crazy.
still digesting it. I cant bare to tell any other family about it.
dad wont care and my brother i dont want him to feel he has a crazy sister.
Tomorrow I have karen and then maybe yoga
see how i feel
Card I made for my cousin who will be 20 soon!
Tuesday, 29 May 2018
Canvas Start
Evening~~
I didn't sleep too bad
when I got up I decided that Id wait for everyone to leave at 9am
and did some dancing, I didnt get that far with it all but still 40 mins of dancing
I was sweating and found it difficult
I had a quick tidy up and went had a much needed shower
Afterwards I cracked open the paints and did another coat
its looking better i believe
then I left that drying and went to make 2 birthday cards
one for my cousin one for adam's mum
made myself lunch
then I sat on my laptop for a lil while
adam rang at 2:30pm to say he'd finished work and if i wanted to see him
even tho id only be seeing him for an hour and he usually moans about seeing him
just for an hour and not to bother, and he didnt want to meet up today the other day
so I said "i cant win with you" but its me being difficult XD
He said he needed an hour
so I went for a walk with mum for 45mins
Got back to the house and went over to adams
i had a good time and messed around
im always getting up to no good
his parents said it was good to see me peppy compared to the other day when i left their house in one of the moods that keeps happening
I left there at 5:30 even tho i arrived at 3:45pm id still enjoyed myself
i got home and had dinner and mum had made cookies also
ive got awful stomach ache now for some reason
did this yesterday actually
tomorrow might go for a run in the morning then see adam in the afternoon
and may book our holiday...
Ive also got at 3:30pm my first psychiatrist session
I took a photo yesterday of the start I made on my canvas
I didn't sleep too bad
when I got up I decided that Id wait for everyone to leave at 9am
and did some dancing, I didnt get that far with it all but still 40 mins of dancing
I was sweating and found it difficult
I had a quick tidy up and went had a much needed shower
Afterwards I cracked open the paints and did another coat
its looking better i believe
then I left that drying and went to make 2 birthday cards
one for my cousin one for adam's mum
made myself lunch
then I sat on my laptop for a lil while
adam rang at 2:30pm to say he'd finished work and if i wanted to see him
even tho id only be seeing him for an hour and he usually moans about seeing him
just for an hour and not to bother, and he didnt want to meet up today the other day
so I said "i cant win with you" but its me being difficult XD
He said he needed an hour
so I went for a walk with mum for 45mins
Got back to the house and went over to adams
i had a good time and messed around
im always getting up to no good
his parents said it was good to see me peppy compared to the other day when i left their house in one of the moods that keeps happening
I left there at 5:30 even tho i arrived at 3:45pm id still enjoyed myself
i got home and had dinner and mum had made cookies also
ive got awful stomach ache now for some reason
did this yesterday actually
tomorrow might go for a run in the morning then see adam in the afternoon
and may book our holiday...
Ive also got at 3:30pm my first psychiatrist session
I took a photo yesterday of the start I made on my canvas
Monday, 28 May 2018
Started Painting!
Konbanwa~~
I didn't sleep too badly
but I didnt actually get up til 9:45am
I guess I must have needed the sleep
I went for a run this morning
wasnt as satisfying as park run but it still was good to do
came back and showered
then I drew out my painting which took a while
i ran through a few dances cus i felt like doing it
I went and painted a few things on the canvas, everything will need
a second coat it would seem
but I am awfully impressed with the paints, theyre so thick and just have a lot
more pigmentation in them compared to what i have been used to
here's what I picked up yesterday for £41
The paints come on their own box that has 4 trays in to keep them all neat
which I was amazed at i didnt expect the packaging to be such high quality
I applied to the two school jobs
didnt take too much time luckily. I can have a go anyway
doesnt hurt to try and apply to jobs
I made myself cheese on toast for dinner cus its what I wanted
Tomorrow I havent got any plans
adam is working and says he will see me wednesday
so it looks like I can paint ^^ and do as I please
so i might go for another run
maybe see mia if she can be bothered to return a text message -____-
and do whatever else i please~
I didn't sleep too badly
but I didnt actually get up til 9:45am
I guess I must have needed the sleep
I went for a run this morning
wasnt as satisfying as park run but it still was good to do
came back and showered
then I drew out my painting which took a while
i ran through a few dances cus i felt like doing it
I went and painted a few things on the canvas, everything will need
a second coat it would seem
but I am awfully impressed with the paints, theyre so thick and just have a lot
more pigmentation in them compared to what i have been used to
here's what I picked up yesterday for £41
The paints come on their own box that has 4 trays in to keep them all neat
which I was amazed at i didnt expect the packaging to be such high quality
I applied to the two school jobs
didnt take too much time luckily. I can have a go anyway
doesnt hurt to try and apply to jobs
I made myself cheese on toast for dinner cus its what I wanted
Tomorrow I havent got any plans
adam is working and says he will see me wednesday
so it looks like I can paint ^^ and do as I please
so i might go for another run
maybe see mia if she can be bothered to return a text message -____-
and do whatever else i please~
Sunday, 27 May 2018
New Paints!
Evening~
I could actually walk this morning!
Which I was glad about
I slept like crap tho so I was tired when i got up at 8am
I got up and ready and by 10:30am I was up for adam
we went to the Range where I spent £40 on painting equipment
its been in the pipe line for a while now I have wanted new paints for months!!
So i was happy to finally have earned some money to buy them with
From there we went to his house
I sat and talked about park run with his parents
the 3 of them already knew my time - his dad cant help himself but to look it up - and they were very surprised I had managed such a feat
I drove us to a local park which we walked through to go to the pub for lunch
I had soup I wasnt hungry
then we walked back and I had the afternoon at adams house
I did his mum's nails which she was pleased about
then I left at 5ish
I came home and cooked the bbq for everyone
i dont mind cooking it but my dry hay fever eyes are terrible
i wore sunglasses whilst cooking, had eye drops afterwards and could literally not see
but what can i do
mum did the washing up
that annoyed me
why does she keep mothering me and not let me do what i want to do
its almost smoothing at times
and i get frustrated
me getting frustrated right now isnt a good thing
im losing what little control i had over myself
my thoughts, emotions, what i come out with, what i do
the control is all slipping
its scaring me
i need help which is starting this week
a part of my mind needs sedating i think
I fear telling anyone the true extent of what goes off behind my eyes
in this mental head of mine
im scared to tell mum cus i dont want to scare or worry her
i dont want to tell adam he knows bits and pieces but i dont want him to know the nut case he is currently choosing to stand beside
i fear telling mental professionals in case the diagnose me with something i struggle to accept and come to terms with
i think its the whole not knowing thing thats doing me at the moment
not knowing just what the hell is wrong with me
tomorrow im thinking of going for a run in the morning
then not sure for the rest of the day
adam is working all day
so im thinking i could work on my painting!
Me today!
I could actually walk this morning!
Which I was glad about
I slept like crap tho so I was tired when i got up at 8am
I got up and ready and by 10:30am I was up for adam
we went to the Range where I spent £40 on painting equipment
its been in the pipe line for a while now I have wanted new paints for months!!
So i was happy to finally have earned some money to buy them with
From there we went to his house
I sat and talked about park run with his parents
the 3 of them already knew my time - his dad cant help himself but to look it up - and they were very surprised I had managed such a feat
I drove us to a local park which we walked through to go to the pub for lunch
I had soup I wasnt hungry
then we walked back and I had the afternoon at adams house
I did his mum's nails which she was pleased about
then I left at 5ish
I came home and cooked the bbq for everyone
i dont mind cooking it but my dry hay fever eyes are terrible
i wore sunglasses whilst cooking, had eye drops afterwards and could literally not see
but what can i do
mum did the washing up
that annoyed me
why does she keep mothering me and not let me do what i want to do
its almost smoothing at times
and i get frustrated
me getting frustrated right now isnt a good thing
im losing what little control i had over myself
my thoughts, emotions, what i come out with, what i do
the control is all slipping
its scaring me
i need help which is starting this week
a part of my mind needs sedating i think
I fear telling anyone the true extent of what goes off behind my eyes
in this mental head of mine
im scared to tell mum cus i dont want to scare or worry her
i dont want to tell adam he knows bits and pieces but i dont want him to know the nut case he is currently choosing to stand beside
i fear telling mental professionals in case the diagnose me with something i struggle to accept and come to terms with
i think its the whole not knowing thing thats doing me at the moment
not knowing just what the hell is wrong with me
tomorrow im thinking of going for a run in the morning
then not sure for the rest of the day
adam is working all day
so im thinking i could work on my painting!
Me today!
Saturday, 26 May 2018
Running 5k without a leash
Evening~~
What an achievement today
seriously I am actually impressed with myself
I did the park run today so thats 5k/3mile
last week my mum put a leash on me making me promise her worrying self
that I would walk not run
well its fair game this week
I ran it!
I ran like 97% of it
last week I did it in 44mins
this week I did it in 34mins!!!
I took 10 mins off last week's time!
I couldnt believe how well I was doing
I just kept going really all the way by myself and found enough energy to sprint the last 100m
I didnt feel dead ether, I wasnt dripping in sweat
I was really surprised.
Running is really good for me at the moment as I tune the world out
I really do tune off
and thats good for me whilst i cont control my mile a minute thoughts
Im removed from pain since my illnesses, I quite literally dont feel pain that much
pain that i know would hurt others doesnt do a lot for me
so when my body is hurting or tiring or having running pains i just block it out
something i know i could never do before and during my illnesses
something has changed in the brain
so yeah achievement today!
I slept pretty decently too last night
I felt a bit rough this morning and wondered how Id do with the park run
as i was tired just walking up and down stairs XD
At the park run I managed to call mum's crew a bunch of geeks
the top runner of the group asked if i wanted to run with him i said "nah its cool wouldnt want to show you up" i could hear mum saying "shes not my daughter" XD I have untactful mouth
We got home and we bathed the guineas as they felt grimy
the bath water afterwards was not pretty...
I had a shower and my first brew of the day
i sat on my laptop for a bit then made a salad for lunch
i read on my bed but dropped off to sleep for an hour
i was pretty tired
I got up and had a brew
mum and dad went out so i hoovered my car, polished the inside and washed the outside
good job done i wanted to get done today
Later me and mum popped to TK MAXX as I wanted a canvas
i felt the need to paint and theyre local and I know they always have quality canvases reduced
i managed to pick up one bigger than A3 for £1...£1!!
but it had a scratch down it but i think ive covered it, i will check when the paint has dried
I made myself pasta for dinner and now ive got stomach ache whilst doing my diary
i want to do my nails tonight
its sodding bank holiday this weekend
so everywhere is gonna be full of happy families
and i hate dealing with busy places full of parents with bratty kids
so Im not sure what I will do tomorrow
im sure adam will want to see me at some point so i'll have that to contend with XD
im thinking of going down to the range and hobby craft as my acrylic paints are pants and going off too, maybe i should invest in something new i certainly need some gold paint for this master piece
I brought this night cream i am yet to try for £3.50
bargain!
I hope I can walk tomorrow XD
What an achievement today
seriously I am actually impressed with myself
I did the park run today so thats 5k/3mile
last week my mum put a leash on me making me promise her worrying self
that I would walk not run
well its fair game this week
I ran it!
I ran like 97% of it
last week I did it in 44mins
this week I did it in 34mins!!!
I took 10 mins off last week's time!
I couldnt believe how well I was doing
I just kept going really all the way by myself and found enough energy to sprint the last 100m
I didnt feel dead ether, I wasnt dripping in sweat
I was really surprised.
Running is really good for me at the moment as I tune the world out
I really do tune off
and thats good for me whilst i cont control my mile a minute thoughts
Im removed from pain since my illnesses, I quite literally dont feel pain that much
pain that i know would hurt others doesnt do a lot for me
so when my body is hurting or tiring or having running pains i just block it out
something i know i could never do before and during my illnesses
something has changed in the brain
so yeah achievement today!
I slept pretty decently too last night
I felt a bit rough this morning and wondered how Id do with the park run
as i was tired just walking up and down stairs XD
At the park run I managed to call mum's crew a bunch of geeks
the top runner of the group asked if i wanted to run with him i said "nah its cool wouldnt want to show you up" i could hear mum saying "shes not my daughter" XD I have untactful mouth
We got home and we bathed the guineas as they felt grimy
the bath water afterwards was not pretty...
I had a shower and my first brew of the day
i sat on my laptop for a bit then made a salad for lunch
i read on my bed but dropped off to sleep for an hour
i was pretty tired
I got up and had a brew
mum and dad went out so i hoovered my car, polished the inside and washed the outside
good job done i wanted to get done today
Later me and mum popped to TK MAXX as I wanted a canvas
i felt the need to paint and theyre local and I know they always have quality canvases reduced
i managed to pick up one bigger than A3 for £1...£1!!
but it had a scratch down it but i think ive covered it, i will check when the paint has dried
I made myself pasta for dinner and now ive got stomach ache whilst doing my diary
i want to do my nails tonight
its sodding bank holiday this weekend
so everywhere is gonna be full of happy families
and i hate dealing with busy places full of parents with bratty kids
so Im not sure what I will do tomorrow
im sure adam will want to see me at some point so i'll have that to contend with XD
im thinking of going down to the range and hobby craft as my acrylic paints are pants and going off too, maybe i should invest in something new i certainly need some gold paint for this master piece
I brought this night cream i am yet to try for £3.50
bargain!
I hope I can walk tomorrow XD
Friday, 25 May 2018
Day 5 of 5 Complete!!!
Otsukaresama deshita!
I've done it!
What an achievement for me to be able to work a full week
to exercise and carry on with life
and not die!
I can do it!
Maybe this proves that my illness really is behind me
these last 3-4 weeks I have felt 'normal' physically for the first time in 8 years
Maybe I can keep working full time
I need to find a full time job now
ganbarimasu!
So last night I did in fact sleep not to bad actually
hay fever was bad this morning, it was raining and my hay fever usually gets wound
up by the rain
It was art day!!!
And my day was BUSY serious very very busy
but it was nice to be an actual teaching assistant not working 1 to 1
1 to 1 bores me and cus i had to be on the go all day i didnt have to sit down 1 to 1
i was a classroom assistant
i didnt get break time as it was indoor play and i was asked to work whilst the teacher
supervised the class
i worked through my last break too
i didnt stop basically and it made the day go much quicker
A mum of a child came in to talk and help as she was an artist and brought her art work in
which was paintings and there were good actually
made me want to sit down and paint!
I showed her my digital pieces and she was impressed ^^
Straight after school I went to Nigels
I had 16 needles and a harsh massage
my back has a lot of purple patches from bruises, already...
my pain threshold it high tho as i think "ah this pain will pass in a few mins"
im good at handling pain which i know others wont tolerate
hard as nails
I told him "I take it like a man" he said "or you could say a 'strong woman'" I said "yeah but im not a feminist" that made him laugh
he says my energy felt brighter and clearer as this is the first time he's seen me since ive been feeling 'normal'
I came home and i was hungry and couldnt wait for dinner
didnt do too much actually
i banged on Little Britain, a comedy series from my high school days to make me laugh
I watched another episode of House with Oz last night
but tonight Friday Night Dinner is on so im watching that instead of House
Im restless but I my body is physically tired
not sure how this evening will go at all
im a bit all over the place
Tomorrow I've got my second park run :D
well looking forward to it
Oh and I forgot to show photos of the guinea pig cushion I made for mum~
I've done it!
What an achievement for me to be able to work a full week
to exercise and carry on with life
and not die!
I can do it!
Maybe this proves that my illness really is behind me
these last 3-4 weeks I have felt 'normal' physically for the first time in 8 years
Maybe I can keep working full time
I need to find a full time job now
ganbarimasu!
So last night I did in fact sleep not to bad actually
hay fever was bad this morning, it was raining and my hay fever usually gets wound
up by the rain
It was art day!!!
And my day was BUSY serious very very busy
but it was nice to be an actual teaching assistant not working 1 to 1
1 to 1 bores me and cus i had to be on the go all day i didnt have to sit down 1 to 1
i was a classroom assistant
i didnt get break time as it was indoor play and i was asked to work whilst the teacher
supervised the class
i worked through my last break too
i didnt stop basically and it made the day go much quicker
A mum of a child came in to talk and help as she was an artist and brought her art work in
which was paintings and there were good actually
made me want to sit down and paint!
I showed her my digital pieces and she was impressed ^^
Straight after school I went to Nigels
I had 16 needles and a harsh massage
my back has a lot of purple patches from bruises, already...
my pain threshold it high tho as i think "ah this pain will pass in a few mins"
im good at handling pain which i know others wont tolerate
hard as nails
I told him "I take it like a man" he said "or you could say a 'strong woman'" I said "yeah but im not a feminist" that made him laugh
he says my energy felt brighter and clearer as this is the first time he's seen me since ive been feeling 'normal'
I came home and i was hungry and couldnt wait for dinner
didnt do too much actually
i banged on Little Britain, a comedy series from my high school days to make me laugh
I watched another episode of House with Oz last night
but tonight Friday Night Dinner is on so im watching that instead of House
Im restless but I my body is physically tired
not sure how this evening will go at all
im a bit all over the place
Tomorrow I've got my second park run :D
well looking forward to it
Oh and I forgot to show photos of the guinea pig cushion I made for mum~
Thursday, 24 May 2018
Day 4 of 5 complete
Evening
I'm almost there! Just one day to go!!
Yesterday I whipped out my complete boxset of House
I havent seen it in years!!
House was another series I religious tuned into whilst I was in high school
why am I revisiting these high school series? XD
I decided to start from season 5 as thats where I can remember from
I have A LOT of episodes to watch with Oz to say the least
Last night I managed to get to sleep
I woke up around 11pm choking, I think a spider must have crawled down my throat XD
only logical explanation XD
I got back off but I woke up at 12:30
something woke me like an internal alarm, something saying "something is wrong"
I woke up with horrendous stomach pain
Ive had stomach pains course I have, but this was something Im not sure Ive had before
or if I have Ive not had it in a long while
I was in agony
I had to get up outta bed as I couldnt stop moving trying in vein to find a comfy
pain relieving position
nothing was working
i went downstairs
I was panting
I was pacing
like being in labour XD
It was awful and I tried going to the toilet, I tried eating
and after an hour the pain did fade to a dull ache
if it hadnt i was almost gonna wake mum as i wondered if something serious was happening
it was horrid and I was trying to think "what did i eat today!?"
there is no explanation
I was highly peed off that another day of the trot of me not sleeping when i have work
I told mum in the morning about my stomach as it felt like id received a swift kick to my guts
I tried to eat a bit of breakfast
At school it was school picture day so the kids were lively
the morning was dull and I was thinking "how will i get through the day? How will I get through tomorrow as well?" My stomach hurt and felt empty so I robbed 2 biscuits from the staffroom
I came home for lunch and didnt stop
dont think I hardly sat down at all actually
but beats sitting in the staffroom not talking to anyone
in the afternoon at school well it wasnt too bad
and i went outside on play ground duty when it wasnt my duty
i got thanked for it
I got told at the end of the day "tomorrow is art day. Art all day!"
is there any sweeter words? ART ALL DAY
that is perfect for me and my soul felt lighter and that it had been saved from more tedious maths and english work. I told the teacher i love art she said "wanna teach the class?" XD
So tomorrow looks brighter for me
I got home and I saw this had arrived
My Sakura Koi water colours I fawned over
Finally have come!
I sent this photo to adam and quoted underneath "my idea of porno" XD
Can not wait to have ago with them!
I had a brew with mum and caught up with her, texted adam, got stuff ready for school tomorrow then went out to yoga
yoga was good and wasnt too hard. I had a hay fever attack typically
so that annoyed me
God I hope I sleep I really do
I will watch another episode of House with Oz i think
tomorrow art day, then going straight to Nigel's
tomorrow I would have completed a full week of work
I cant remember the last time I did such a feat
I'm almost there! Just one day to go!!
Yesterday I whipped out my complete boxset of House
I havent seen it in years!!
House was another series I religious tuned into whilst I was in high school
why am I revisiting these high school series? XD
I decided to start from season 5 as thats where I can remember from
I have A LOT of episodes to watch with Oz to say the least
Last night I managed to get to sleep
I woke up around 11pm choking, I think a spider must have crawled down my throat XD
only logical explanation XD
I got back off but I woke up at 12:30
something woke me like an internal alarm, something saying "something is wrong"
I woke up with horrendous stomach pain
Ive had stomach pains course I have, but this was something Im not sure Ive had before
or if I have Ive not had it in a long while
I was in agony
I had to get up outta bed as I couldnt stop moving trying in vein to find a comfy
pain relieving position
nothing was working
i went downstairs
I was panting
I was pacing
like being in labour XD
It was awful and I tried going to the toilet, I tried eating
and after an hour the pain did fade to a dull ache
if it hadnt i was almost gonna wake mum as i wondered if something serious was happening
it was horrid and I was trying to think "what did i eat today!?"
there is no explanation
I was highly peed off that another day of the trot of me not sleeping when i have work
I told mum in the morning about my stomach as it felt like id received a swift kick to my guts
I tried to eat a bit of breakfast
At school it was school picture day so the kids were lively
the morning was dull and I was thinking "how will i get through the day? How will I get through tomorrow as well?" My stomach hurt and felt empty so I robbed 2 biscuits from the staffroom
I came home for lunch and didnt stop
dont think I hardly sat down at all actually
but beats sitting in the staffroom not talking to anyone
in the afternoon at school well it wasnt too bad
and i went outside on play ground duty when it wasnt my duty
i got thanked for it
I got told at the end of the day "tomorrow is art day. Art all day!"
is there any sweeter words? ART ALL DAY
that is perfect for me and my soul felt lighter and that it had been saved from more tedious maths and english work. I told the teacher i love art she said "wanna teach the class?" XD
So tomorrow looks brighter for me
I got home and I saw this had arrived
My Sakura Koi water colours I fawned over
Finally have come!
I sent this photo to adam and quoted underneath "my idea of porno" XD
Can not wait to have ago with them!
I had a brew with mum and caught up with her, texted adam, got stuff ready for school tomorrow then went out to yoga
yoga was good and wasnt too hard. I had a hay fever attack typically
so that annoyed me
God I hope I sleep I really do
I will watch another episode of House with Oz i think
tomorrow art day, then going straight to Nigel's
tomorrow I would have completed a full week of work
I cant remember the last time I did such a feat
Wednesday, 23 May 2018
Day 3 of 5 complete
Konbanwa~
I didn't sleep well
even after going for another 20min run which i totally enjoyed
I used to run all the time before I got ill, not doing it and not suffering afterwards
has almost got me addicted to the feel of it again
So I felt I was gonna sleep last night
and around 11pm I did in fact nod off to only wake up at 12:15....
i had only been asleep a sodding hour
I was gutted to say the least
what had woke me was i was having a dream that all my pain had come flooding back
and it was agonising and everywhere. I was screaming whilst in the fetal position
so no wonder I woke up
I went and got up til 2am
I was tired for school
School was maths all morning as there was parents coming in to be taught maths by the school children, all a bit of fun and its good the do such events
came home for lunch
during lunch I had got an appointment to see the psychiatrist on 30th May, was shocked to the text message said May and not June!
I rang up a school for a visit after half term as theyre advertising for a job
brought some make up off ebay
busy lunch
and after lunch I was quite literally dropping off in class
it was like a green house in there and it was boring
so at break i went outside for a bit to wake me up which did help
the days are long and dull but im over half way done now!
I got called a teenager twice to day by students XD
I left school and went to adams house
we talked and he cuddled me a lot like i was gonna disappear or something
i find it so hard to give the affection back
i left before his parents got home otherwise id never get away
since then ive caught up with a few things on my laptop
but i think i will do yoga and dance tonight instead of running again
good night for running but i dont wanna ache too much for yoga tomorrow XD
Tomorrow is school and then yoga~
Here is the 2nd tshirt I got from Bodyline
I didn't sleep well
even after going for another 20min run which i totally enjoyed
I used to run all the time before I got ill, not doing it and not suffering afterwards
has almost got me addicted to the feel of it again
So I felt I was gonna sleep last night
and around 11pm I did in fact nod off to only wake up at 12:15....
i had only been asleep a sodding hour
I was gutted to say the least
what had woke me was i was having a dream that all my pain had come flooding back
and it was agonising and everywhere. I was screaming whilst in the fetal position
so no wonder I woke up
I went and got up til 2am
I was tired for school
School was maths all morning as there was parents coming in to be taught maths by the school children, all a bit of fun and its good the do such events
came home for lunch
during lunch I had got an appointment to see the psychiatrist on 30th May, was shocked to the text message said May and not June!
I rang up a school for a visit after half term as theyre advertising for a job
brought some make up off ebay
busy lunch
and after lunch I was quite literally dropping off in class
it was like a green house in there and it was boring
so at break i went outside for a bit to wake me up which did help
the days are long and dull but im over half way done now!
I got called a teenager twice to day by students XD
I left school and went to adams house
we talked and he cuddled me a lot like i was gonna disappear or something
i find it so hard to give the affection back
i left before his parents got home otherwise id never get away
since then ive caught up with a few things on my laptop
but i think i will do yoga and dance tonight instead of running again
good night for running but i dont wanna ache too much for yoga tomorrow XD
Tomorrow is school and then yoga~
Here is the 2nd tshirt I got from Bodyline
Tuesday, 22 May 2018
Day 2 of 5 complete
Evening~~
Otsukaresama deshita
I slept....I actually slept like a normal person
I literally had worn myself to the ground tho yesterday
I went for a 20min run, loved it but was tired
I woke myself up at 7:05am gotta love body clocks
School I was a lil dull if im honest this morning
I was then later told there is a job going to be advertised at that school soon
ready for September and to keep an eye out for it!
I will be sure to check it out as I want to see what the position is for
It was maths and english in the morning anyhow
came home for lunch
after lunch i was put into year 3 which were feral honestly
working with teacher who you can just tell doesnt like me
she was the year above me in secondary school, small world!
then it was break time and I was allowed to go out on duty in the nice weather
then I was back in year 4 working with a child with behavioural issues
but i was told if he kicks off then the teacher and TA is only next door and theyd come
but i winged it like i had all afternoon and he was fine with me
we were doing Spanish and i was so impressed with the TA who was taking the lesson
she could flit between english and spanish effortlessly
i wish i was that good at japanese but i dont try hard enough i know i dont
I went home then
since then I have just been on my laptop really nothing special
feels good to get this day done with
i might go for another run tonight as i do believe it helped me sleep
and its a good night for it again
tomorrow its school, there will be parents in the classroom in the morning
so im hoping that doesnt mean its gonna be too slow and boring for me
after school i am seeing adam at his for a brew and catch up
hes gone out tonight with his work mates, i was invited but im not going
i know i should but im not
i got this top in the post, new from Bodyline :D
Otsukaresama deshita
I slept....I actually slept like a normal person
I literally had worn myself to the ground tho yesterday
I went for a 20min run, loved it but was tired
I woke myself up at 7:05am gotta love body clocks
School I was a lil dull if im honest this morning
I was then later told there is a job going to be advertised at that school soon
ready for September and to keep an eye out for it!
I will be sure to check it out as I want to see what the position is for
It was maths and english in the morning anyhow
came home for lunch
after lunch i was put into year 3 which were feral honestly
working with teacher who you can just tell doesnt like me
she was the year above me in secondary school, small world!
then it was break time and I was allowed to go out on duty in the nice weather
then I was back in year 4 working with a child with behavioural issues
but i was told if he kicks off then the teacher and TA is only next door and theyd come
but i winged it like i had all afternoon and he was fine with me
we were doing Spanish and i was so impressed with the TA who was taking the lesson
she could flit between english and spanish effortlessly
i wish i was that good at japanese but i dont try hard enough i know i dont
I went home then
since then I have just been on my laptop really nothing special
feels good to get this day done with
i might go for another run tonight as i do believe it helped me sleep
and its a good night for it again
tomorrow its school, there will be parents in the classroom in the morning
so im hoping that doesnt mean its gonna be too slow and boring for me
after school i am seeing adam at his for a brew and catch up
hes gone out tonight with his work mates, i was invited but im not going
i know i should but im not
i got this top in the post, new from Bodyline :D
Monday, 21 May 2018
Day 1 of 5 complete
Ostukaresama deshita~~
I didn't sleep til gone 1am
mind was going 100mph
I have no say or control on my mind lately
Mum woke me up at 7am and I could not be arsed with my day
but I got on with it as you do
My morning was fine really just maths and english which both bore me
especially sitting one to one its dull
I like to be moving around
I went home for lunch i had left over BBQ meat and a yogurt
then had stomach ache typically
I arrived back at school just as the kids were getting back into class!
I was working with the head teacher he was teaching but i didnt feel shy or
intimidated cus ive gone past the stage of caring really XD
My afternoon was a lil better as there were colouring crayons involved
there was assembly and then play so for 40mins i had nothing to do
so i gave myself jobs to do as i couldnt sit in the staffroom twiddling my thumbs
id be bored outta my wits
End of the day came and i was happy id finished my day
I got home and sat with Oz for a lil while but its so warm i didnt wanna make him warm
I designed nails for this weekend coming
here are this weeks~
My mind is so busy but my body is tired so im trying to give myself jobs to do
I made myself salad for dinner
whilst i was eating my mother had done the washing up...i was peeved as its now MY job
i told her cus i wanted her to know how much it annoyed me and that i dont appreciate her babying me by doing it. shes gotta learn. tough love and all that.
Now im sat in my room wondering what to do with myself as its not even 6pm yet
and im already losing focus with it all
i cant see the good work ive done today all i see is what could i be using my time for now
its really difficult
Ive made an appt with Nigel for acupuncture on friday straight after school
as i think i want to try him for some help to calm my mentalness down
tomorrow school again
i should be then going out with adam and his work mates but im not going
I didn't sleep til gone 1am
mind was going 100mph
I have no say or control on my mind lately
Mum woke me up at 7am and I could not be arsed with my day
but I got on with it as you do
My morning was fine really just maths and english which both bore me
especially sitting one to one its dull
I like to be moving around
I went home for lunch i had left over BBQ meat and a yogurt
then had stomach ache typically
I arrived back at school just as the kids were getting back into class!
I was working with the head teacher he was teaching but i didnt feel shy or
intimidated cus ive gone past the stage of caring really XD
My afternoon was a lil better as there were colouring crayons involved
there was assembly and then play so for 40mins i had nothing to do
so i gave myself jobs to do as i couldnt sit in the staffroom twiddling my thumbs
id be bored outta my wits
End of the day came and i was happy id finished my day
I got home and sat with Oz for a lil while but its so warm i didnt wanna make him warm
I designed nails for this weekend coming
here are this weeks~
My mind is so busy but my body is tired so im trying to give myself jobs to do
I made myself salad for dinner
whilst i was eating my mother had done the washing up...i was peeved as its now MY job
i told her cus i wanted her to know how much it annoyed me and that i dont appreciate her babying me by doing it. shes gotta learn. tough love and all that.
Now im sat in my room wondering what to do with myself as its not even 6pm yet
and im already losing focus with it all
i cant see the good work ive done today all i see is what could i be using my time for now
its really difficult
Ive made an appt with Nigel for acupuncture on friday straight after school
as i think i want to try him for some help to calm my mentalness down
tomorrow school again
i should be then going out with adam and his work mates but im not going
Sunday, 20 May 2018
Refreshing Sunday
Evening
I didnt go to bed til 1:30am
seems like I couldnt shut my brain off
Not sure how much I can hack this for
I woke up at 7am and thought "sod that" went to sleep til 8:45am
when I got up showered and got ready for the day ahead
I took me and adam to a park 13 miles away
we pulled up, £3.50 they wanted for the car park
robbing sods
we had a walk round and adam treated me to lunch I had cheese on toast
then after lunch I noticed they had an ice cream
they had white choc chunk...seriously...
no one ever has that flavour!!!!!!!!!!!!! its my freakin favourite!!!
so I said he was having ice cream whether he wanted it or not!!!
it was amazing and worth any stomach issues id incur
We finished our walk then i drove a mile down the road to a place my parents
took us as kids its a little stream about 3m wide and 20cm deep and i took my flip flops
and towel and off i went, i walked in water which is so satisfying and soothing to my soul
to be in natural water is a calling to me
must be because im an Aquarius
adam eventually coxed me outta the water
i could be there all day X3
we went back home to his house
and we spent some time alone in his room i think he was missing my affections
i try but im just not that affectionate, in the end i played 'thumb war' with him XD
bring him down to my level haha
im not good at expressing that kinda stuff and never had a need for affection
i gotta try i know i have
i can see its important to him
I did his mum nails we had a brew and talked about park run
so yeah it was a must needed leisure sunday
as we havent really done much together as of late
i came home for my dinner
tonight id like to runt through some dancing, get ready for school
and watch Jekyll with Oz
tomorrow i have school all day
i can see it being a chore at times but i will get it done :)
songs that im currently into and big motivators are
Kalafina - Sprinter
Monogatari - Re:born
Onepixcel - Howling
I didnt go to bed til 1:30am
seems like I couldnt shut my brain off
Not sure how much I can hack this for
I woke up at 7am and thought "sod that" went to sleep til 8:45am
when I got up showered and got ready for the day ahead
I took me and adam to a park 13 miles away
we pulled up, £3.50 they wanted for the car park
robbing sods
we had a walk round and adam treated me to lunch I had cheese on toast
then after lunch I noticed they had an ice cream
they had white choc chunk...seriously...
no one ever has that flavour!!!!!!!!!!!!! its my freakin favourite!!!
so I said he was having ice cream whether he wanted it or not!!!
it was amazing and worth any stomach issues id incur
We finished our walk then i drove a mile down the road to a place my parents
took us as kids its a little stream about 3m wide and 20cm deep and i took my flip flops
and towel and off i went, i walked in water which is so satisfying and soothing to my soul
to be in natural water is a calling to me
must be because im an Aquarius
adam eventually coxed me outta the water
i could be there all day X3
we went back home to his house
and we spent some time alone in his room i think he was missing my affections
i try but im just not that affectionate, in the end i played 'thumb war' with him XD
bring him down to my level haha
im not good at expressing that kinda stuff and never had a need for affection
i gotta try i know i have
i can see its important to him
I did his mum nails we had a brew and talked about park run
so yeah it was a must needed leisure sunday
as we havent really done much together as of late
i came home for my dinner
tonight id like to runt through some dancing, get ready for school
and watch Jekyll with Oz
tomorrow i have school all day
i can see it being a chore at times but i will get it done :)
songs that im currently into and big motivators are
Kalafina - Sprinter
Monogatari - Re:born
Onepixcel - Howling
Saturday, 19 May 2018
I did 5km!
Otsukaresama deshita~~~
I slept!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh my god i slept like a normal person
I was shattered in bed but usually that means nothing but this time I did nod off
and I didnt wake up ether til mum woke me this morning
Now my morning
different for me~~
I went and did park run with mummy ^^
I have been wanting to go since like december but what with the winter and awful rain it just didnt take my fancy to start at the worst time of year
now the weather has picked up I thought id go
So we set off at 8:25am and were one of the first there (so we can actually get parked up)
and I did some stretches with mum and mum told me a bit about where we are starting and such
he 'crew' i call them showed up
they all have their group tshirts on like a lot of the people there
must have been 200 people there
every saturday come rain or shine people go to parks all over the UK to take part in free runs that are usually 5km long. It is run by volunteers and its just fun
I had promised mum I would walk the first one as I didnt know how id cope
and i couldnt picture oh far 5km was
we set off I had my ipod in
my ipod is pictured here~
and just set a good pace - walking of course - and mum was surprised by my pace and said "were gonna be doing this for a good 45mins you know" i was fine actually and enjoying it, if i can dance for 45mins straight i felt confident i could walk for that long at a good pace, we got round the first lap and i could feel myself losing strength simply due to stiffening up.
we jogged by a few people as they were in the way. just jogging loosened my muscles so as we got closer to the finish i said to mum "ive gotta run" and thats what i did
i enjoyed it actually as im an active person anyway ive always loved being active and doing sports so i will be going again! I got to the end and mum and waited with mum for her crew. They were saying how many park runs theyve done this year i said "ive done 1"
a woman turned to me "if this is your first then you MUST ring the bell"
I got her to explain that at the finish line theres a bell (i didnt see it) that you ring to say its your first park run ever. I said "nah im not sad" a park run official then heard about this and told me to ring the bell.
So not to make a scene of myself or show mum up i walked to the bell
a woman said "can i take your picture?" i inwardly sighed and said "yeah"
I picked up the bell and stood and rang it, people applauded
I said "cheers" like a bloke XD
we went back to the car and that was my park run done!
After Id had a shower i texted adam
"done it!" he said well done and asked my time
i said "i havent a clue what time i did, but ask your dad im sure he's looked my time up"
turns out I did it in 44mins! i was quite impressed with that
and next time i know the lay of the land so i know when i can run
not to get competitive with it tho
adam wasnt seeing me today he'd got work at 12pm instead of 5pm
so my day felt a bit long today if im honest
as my exercise was done and dusted, it was roasting out there
so i got mum's cushion finished!!! its very cute and we both agreed it was the best one I have ever done yet, shes pleased with it so im happy.
I did some drawing toying with the logo i want for my doodles
I fell asleep on the sofa for must have been half hour whilst everyone was out
i had a dream that i had woke up in a foreign house and i was panicking as
i didnt know where i was or how id got there
i woke up for real with my heart pounding
Might try and dance or run though a dance just to keep em fresh in my mind
but we've had a bbq today so we're a bit late eating making it 8:30pm right now
and i wanna watch episode 3 of Jekyll with Oz as we watched episode 2 last night
tomorrow is like the only full day im having with adam as of late it would seem
and im sick of not doing anything or going anywhere
weeks are going by and were not doing anything together
so im thinking of driving 25mins away to a park i like and then going to a stream to walk in ^^
I slept!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh my god i slept like a normal person
I was shattered in bed but usually that means nothing but this time I did nod off
and I didnt wake up ether til mum woke me this morning
Now my morning
different for me~~
I went and did park run with mummy ^^
I have been wanting to go since like december but what with the winter and awful rain it just didnt take my fancy to start at the worst time of year
now the weather has picked up I thought id go
So we set off at 8:25am and were one of the first there (so we can actually get parked up)
and I did some stretches with mum and mum told me a bit about where we are starting and such
he 'crew' i call them showed up
they all have their group tshirts on like a lot of the people there
must have been 200 people there
every saturday come rain or shine people go to parks all over the UK to take part in free runs that are usually 5km long. It is run by volunteers and its just fun
I had promised mum I would walk the first one as I didnt know how id cope
and i couldnt picture oh far 5km was
we set off I had my ipod in
my ipod is pictured here~
and just set a good pace - walking of course - and mum was surprised by my pace and said "were gonna be doing this for a good 45mins you know" i was fine actually and enjoying it, if i can dance for 45mins straight i felt confident i could walk for that long at a good pace, we got round the first lap and i could feel myself losing strength simply due to stiffening up.
we jogged by a few people as they were in the way. just jogging loosened my muscles so as we got closer to the finish i said to mum "ive gotta run" and thats what i did
i enjoyed it actually as im an active person anyway ive always loved being active and doing sports so i will be going again! I got to the end and mum and waited with mum for her crew. They were saying how many park runs theyve done this year i said "ive done 1"
a woman turned to me "if this is your first then you MUST ring the bell"
I got her to explain that at the finish line theres a bell (i didnt see it) that you ring to say its your first park run ever. I said "nah im not sad" a park run official then heard about this and told me to ring the bell.
So not to make a scene of myself or show mum up i walked to the bell
a woman said "can i take your picture?" i inwardly sighed and said "yeah"
I picked up the bell and stood and rang it, people applauded
I said "cheers" like a bloke XD
we went back to the car and that was my park run done!
After Id had a shower i texted adam
"done it!" he said well done and asked my time
i said "i havent a clue what time i did, but ask your dad im sure he's looked my time up"
turns out I did it in 44mins! i was quite impressed with that
and next time i know the lay of the land so i know when i can run
not to get competitive with it tho
adam wasnt seeing me today he'd got work at 12pm instead of 5pm
so my day felt a bit long today if im honest
as my exercise was done and dusted, it was roasting out there
so i got mum's cushion finished!!! its very cute and we both agreed it was the best one I have ever done yet, shes pleased with it so im happy.
I did some drawing toying with the logo i want for my doodles
I fell asleep on the sofa for must have been half hour whilst everyone was out
i had a dream that i had woke up in a foreign house and i was panicking as
i didnt know where i was or how id got there
i woke up for real with my heart pounding
Might try and dance or run though a dance just to keep em fresh in my mind
but we've had a bbq today so we're a bit late eating making it 8:30pm right now
and i wanna watch episode 3 of Jekyll with Oz as we watched episode 2 last night
tomorrow is like the only full day im having with adam as of late it would seem
and im sick of not doing anything or going anywhere
weeks are going by and were not doing anything together
so im thinking of driving 25mins away to a park i like and then going to a stream to walk in ^^
Friday, 18 May 2018
Dragon Plushie
Evening all~~
I got around 7 hours sleep last night
I just couldnt face my night alone
I was struggling with being alone
So I got my Ozwald inside and we watched BBC's Jekyll from 2007
I can remember the series first being aired and loved it
and I came across the DVD this week and thought Id give it a rewatch
and I enjoyed it, I would watch another episode tonight but Im not sure what time i have
as mum has reminded me that a new episode of Friday Night Dinner is on
I aint missing that! Its rare comedy is on tv and one I like
This morning I had a splitting headache and felt dizzy too
I felt rough almost like id been drinking the night before
I took a paracetamol and hoped for the best!
I sat doing some sewing, and did some lunch
then I got a text from mia "so we need to meet up at some point"
i text back "haha guess it was that good then huh?"
she said "yeah you need to hear this"
so i literally dropped everything I was doing and went over XD
we sat for 2 hours talking about this wedding of helina's yesterday
and I can't say im shocked to hear what went off
we were both hurt though to find out that when she originally said
"no friends are invited to the wedding, family only"
so that was originally a blow to us to find out we werent invited
but mia found out last night she did in fact have friends attend the wedding...
so she chose to not have us there
friends who have known us the longest and been through everything with her
we've seen her parents divorce, her mother suffering with cancer and alcohol, her mother dying, going through education, meeting boys, meeting her now husband, moving out. So many big hurdles we have been there with her and she chose others over us.
Its cus i think she knows we dont support her in this
but it still hurt
I was more hurt for her when i found out what a arse wipe he'd been to her at the wedding reception.
i could never marry or be with someone like him
Both mum and mia said
"good job you didnt go" to me
guess they know i would have laid him out
mia said it was hard for her to hold back
I left Mia's and went for a walk with mummy
we came back and i had an attempt at dying my brother's hair XD
never done such a thing before
i missed a tiny patch when he'd washed and dried his hair so mum fixed it up
mum might as well have done his hair!
Then i finished off sewing where I wanted to get to today
its looking good
and I edited photos of the dragon I stitched this week
Not bad huh
Its for adam's mum's birthday next month.
Since then I have been getting stuff ready for tomorrow
my first park run!
I will be walking though
ive got to mega disciplined on myself
not to run not to run
gonna be hard
so i printed out my ID and got my clothes out
charging my Ipod as we speak
Then I AM SEEING ADAM
as theres a bet from his dad im gonna be too knackered after park run to come up
but i am i will prove him wrong!
i best not be knackered anyway
Then might do some doodling
been thinking of what id like to call my creative drawing business
thinking of
Lunatique Project
I got around 7 hours sleep last night
I just couldnt face my night alone
I was struggling with being alone
So I got my Ozwald inside and we watched BBC's Jekyll from 2007
I can remember the series first being aired and loved it
and I came across the DVD this week and thought Id give it a rewatch
and I enjoyed it, I would watch another episode tonight but Im not sure what time i have
as mum has reminded me that a new episode of Friday Night Dinner is on
I aint missing that! Its rare comedy is on tv and one I like
This morning I had a splitting headache and felt dizzy too
I felt rough almost like id been drinking the night before
I took a paracetamol and hoped for the best!
I sat doing some sewing, and did some lunch
then I got a text from mia "so we need to meet up at some point"
i text back "haha guess it was that good then huh?"
she said "yeah you need to hear this"
so i literally dropped everything I was doing and went over XD
we sat for 2 hours talking about this wedding of helina's yesterday
and I can't say im shocked to hear what went off
we were both hurt though to find out that when she originally said
"no friends are invited to the wedding, family only"
so that was originally a blow to us to find out we werent invited
but mia found out last night she did in fact have friends attend the wedding...
so she chose to not have us there
friends who have known us the longest and been through everything with her
we've seen her parents divorce, her mother suffering with cancer and alcohol, her mother dying, going through education, meeting boys, meeting her now husband, moving out. So many big hurdles we have been there with her and she chose others over us.
Its cus i think she knows we dont support her in this
but it still hurt
I was more hurt for her when i found out what a arse wipe he'd been to her at the wedding reception.
i could never marry or be with someone like him
Both mum and mia said
"good job you didnt go" to me
guess they know i would have laid him out
mia said it was hard for her to hold back
I left Mia's and went for a walk with mummy
we came back and i had an attempt at dying my brother's hair XD
never done such a thing before
i missed a tiny patch when he'd washed and dried his hair so mum fixed it up
mum might as well have done his hair!
Then i finished off sewing where I wanted to get to today
its looking good
and I edited photos of the dragon I stitched this week
Not bad huh
Its for adam's mum's birthday next month.
Since then I have been getting stuff ready for tomorrow
my first park run!
I will be walking though
ive got to mega disciplined on myself
not to run not to run
gonna be hard
so i printed out my ID and got my clothes out
charging my Ipod as we speak
Then I AM SEEING ADAM
as theres a bet from his dad im gonna be too knackered after park run to come up
but i am i will prove him wrong!
i best not be knackered anyway
Then might do some doodling
been thinking of what id like to call my creative drawing business
thinking of
Lunatique Project
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