Went to the city centre first time in 10months

 Evening

So yesterday we did in fact go into the city centre

we got up and set off for 9am in hoping it would be quieter that time of day

I did feel ok, getting on a bus for the first time in over a year was ok too

but actually getting into the city its self was just overwhelming to say the least

My anxiety just rocketed, I could barely breathe, Jack supported me all the way

I was determined to do this

luckily everywhere was dead to be honest. I was surprised at how quiet it all was

we did a lot of shops, at 10:30 we stopped for a tea and shared a cake, I wasnt going to have any of it but I was shaking from being drained from anxiety. Needed to up my sugars otherwise I think I might have fainted. I also used my inhaler. It was a well needed pit stop

We continued shopping and it was Jack that mainly brought cus I literally got some cheap brushes and paint! Jack got clothes, a 20 sided dice lamp (its so cool it changes colour), anime, shoes, snacks

he did really well but I buy offline and he doesnt, so I get my stuff throughout the year and he just hasnt spent any money in like a year XD

we caught the bus home at midday, yes we were like ninjas, in and out. It was starting to get busier. I had had enough, Jesus I was like a corpse. Anxiety is shattering. If it had been busy when we had arrived I would have turned back for home, I am glad it wasnt too bad.

I was shocked at what the high street looks like in Nottingham tho!! D:

its been destroyed by corona. Id say its 90% food stores. Not even joking

so many stores had gone, they are bordered up or replaced with food.

so much food.....we wont starve thats for bloody sure!!

Where I get my bras from is gone TT^TT 

its changed everywhere thats for sure. We didnt do one end of the city as I was struggling to walk much further but the bus drove through it and I could just see FOOD every sodding where. Quite depressing. Im guessing people online shop these days but its not for everyone and also some things are nice to actually try on you know?

we got home and I had lunch then went straight to bed

I went to bed twice in the afternoon. I was like a corpse.

we were to go over to Harveys in the evening for takeaway so I needed to rest and gain energy but did feel like a waste of life

we had a bath then went over to Harveys

the guys ordered Pizza, I took leftovers over

dessert came and I ate so much I did so well, we ordered my brother a waffle as payment for doing such a good job on my car.

I think Jack could see I had had enough and at 9pm we set off for home. We had had a good time and it was nice to see everyone. Jack had leftover pizza for breakfast so he was happy XD

we dropped off my brothers waffle and he was VERY happy to receive it XD

we got home and had Oz in to watch Inuyasha

I was tired but couldnt sleep

too many thoughts about food. Making me wonder was any of it bloody worth it!? I do need to keep eating treat food otherwise it will win but when it keeps you up til 2am you have to wonder if it is worth it you know? It wasnt just the thoughts that kept me awake tho it was Jack as well. Crushing me in his sleep and tossing and turning which pulls on the duvet. I got up in the end as it was doing my head in. At one point he got up for a drink and I stood there thinking "if he acknowledges me we  will get up together as he did say to wake him if I cant sleep" he saw me and said "alright?" and climbed into bed and fell asleep straight away.......what!? how is that possible? its like he was sleep walking. I asked him about it this morning and he has no memory of it XD

I went and did some photoshop work and came to bed at 2am and woke up at 9:30am

I had a massive blood blister bite thing in my mouth where I have bit my mouth in my sleep but its huge like how that didnt wake me I have no idea. I can feel it each time I swallow and eat. its the size of 3 finger nails. never had one that big. surprised I was choking on blood in the night

Jack didnt dare wake me, for the best as it would have been the last thing he did, he waited to have his pizza with me and made me tea :3 

I have been sluggish and tired all day tho, not a good day

i picked myself up this morning and sanded down my drawers in the garage and Jack helped. Oz thought it was great he was constantly there! very cute!

I went to bed after lunch and just was slug. We went for a walk and took the umbrella and the rain did come and my god did we get wet it was heavy rain! it woke me up tho and I kinda enjoyed it in a way. I came in and ran a bath to warm us up - this was 3pm

so by 4pm we were both in pyjamas X3

had an easy dinner of leftovers but still fell asleep after dinner. I hope I sleep tonight

Jack is gaming for 4 hours tonight. I am just here really - existing

I need to write to do lists each day, I need structure and goals as this isnt doing me any good and I am not seeing anything I get done. I keep writing my days off as having done nothing whereas I have actually done stuff even through my tiredness. I am so fed up of being tired

im tired of being tired

its frustrating as hell

tomorrow I am determined to start some painting!

my go city centre tomorrow - first time in 10 months

 Evening

I had such a bad night T^T I had stomach pains and stomach rot from pain killers. I wanted to face Jack in bed as that side felt ok to sleep on compared to the other side - my left side - that hurt 

But he was thrashing in his sleep and kept squishing me and was snoring and robbing covers and ughhhhh I got up twice, even made a bed on the sofa but decided that I couldnt stay there so came to bed after overdosing. I had an awful dream and woke up wet through, so glad it was bed change day. Even Hammington was wet...I woke Jack up and started to peal the covers off him and stopped...

"are you naked!?"

he said "No!!" and pealed the covers down further

I said "thank god, felt sick then. Thought id been next to you naked all night"

poor Jack, thats how he was woken up, me repulsed by the idea of him sleeping naked next to me XD

I felt so out of it this morning. My morning consisted of food and sleep -____-

I went over to my mum's at 10:50am, we had tea and a chat and my brother came to chat which was nice. I said that im having waffles tomorrow and I said to him if he washes and cleans my car (as he does a pro job) that Id buy him a waffle. Cleaning my car wipes me out but its effortless to him.

so he did that after lunch, after we had lunch mum dyed my hair so its all fresh, I also epilated and shaved in the shower so I feel  fresh, then we sat with the girls which was nice. I was home for 3pm

I had fruit loaf when i got home, we went for a walk, then made biscuits and then did dinner. Had Oz in as it was thundering and lightening so I wanted to make sure he was ok. Its totally blown over, 1cm hail stones and all, now its sunny!

So I might do a bit do a bit on my drawing then watch anime with Jack and Oz

tomorrow

we are thinking of going into the city centre - early

I havent actually been in the city centre for about 10months, yup its sure been a while! But with covid, I cant say I fancied it and also everywhere was in lock down!

But more and more people we know are going and say its ok but I am unsure....nothing I need really I just miss going. But I am gonna see how my anxiety is in the morning. Heck my parents have been to the city loads! if they can do it I can! But we shall see. We also have takeaway in the evening with Harvey and Theo. 

I need to plan my weeks so I get the most out my holidays

if I dont go out tomorrow then im working on my drawers

Finally bloody finished this year and got Dedenne!

 Evening

my god thank you sooo much! I have finished!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like a dream come bloody true

So last night I slept pretty well really

This morning I was parading around saying how much I didnt want to go!!

I hurt

I know why tho. I did something stupid yesterday. I did weights and exercise for 25mins then had a cold bath which I wanted but what I needed was a warm bath to soak and relax my muscles. I had got so cold in the bath I had goosebumps which made me tense up after a work out. Not a good idea

so I hurt

We left Ozwald at home today

At school

as we entered the building we went straight to the cafe for our free breakfast cob

I got bacon and Jack got sausage - he ate both 

I made us both a tea which was was meh tea 

it was a total scrimped out breakfast tho as the tea and coffee wasnt good, no biscuits, 2 rashes of thin bacon and the sausage - when jack bit into it he showed me the inside and it looked the same colour and consistency as the cob....he was effetely eating a cob sandwich 

still, he ate it

we sat with chris and Julia and Karen

nice start to the day, not that anyone was socially distant.....

we went upstairs to the prep room to start the day

I got some more tidying done~

we got given presents and cards of appreciation which was lovely, but Jo cant have any of it. As its alcohol and sweets/chocolate. Jack does well out of my diet!!! But the cards are nice :) And its nice to feel appreciated. 3 out the 4 biologists came up to me individually to thank me for my hard work this year ^^ you can guess the only one who didnt >.> no surprises there

we had lunch with the science department as we may as well and there was leftover fuddle food which Jack took part in. Then about 40mins later it was home time. So easy day but I still found it difficult and tiring just because I was aching so much really and I think yesterday had taken it out of me.

I was glad to get home and go to bed but before then.....Dedenne! jack gave me my Dedenne plush!!!! Its sooooo very cute I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!

I woke up and 20mins later mum came over for a brew

then an hour later I did some dinner which was good

I did a 15min work out and had a warm bath

now I think we are gonna sit with Oz and have a bit of an earlier night as I am just done. But we can stay up more tomorrow anyway~ we have the whole holiday!!!

So bloody glad

tomorrow I am going over to mum's at 11am for a brew, then lunch, then dye my hair!  

Managed my first full day in weeks!

 Evening

I slept ok but didnt wanna wake up as I knew it would be school

I did wake up like 2 mins before my alarm so I cuddled Jack who said he had a bad dream and didnt sleep well. He said his dream was that he lived in Harvey's house and there was giant ants there.

I said "you probably dreamed that as you upset me and Harveys is where you would end up without me" XD he was like "yeah probably" XD

I did my yoga before school, Jack went to see Oz and came in saying "he was on the garage floor when I walked in?" huh?

I worked out what had happened. I had put Oz home in the dark and hadnt seen/noticed that his door was locked it was shut to but not locked so he had obviously nudged it open in the night and then it has swung closed on him and hes not been able to get home all night....safe to say he was STARVING my god that rabbit was hungry. And he was off to mum's today! mum's flourishing garden T^T

we took him over to mums and I just hoped I wouldnt get angry txt messages from my mother...

school was hard but not as hard as it has been some days

we gave Julia her bday card and her plant present, we were given chocolates from a trainie teacher and the biscuits from the art technician so it was gifts all round. We had the 'fuddle' and I took my own food in and no one said anything, Jack enjoyed his food. I did my 1 practical for just 2 students. I got in contact with Occupational Health finally as I kept forgetting. But said the woman is out of office til 29th. I got loads of washing up that has been piling up. I have a bit more to do but ran out of room on the drying board which is saying something.

Tomorrow at school we start the day with free bacon/sausage sandwich. I will go down for it but I wont have it. Theres usually tea and coffee so I will have a tea~ Jack says he will eat my sandwich on my behalf >.> he benefits greatly from my diet at times! We finish at 1pm too. We have no lessons~ I just hope the day doesnt go dead slow.

We picked Oz up and went home and a brew and snack

then I wanted my dinner as I was hungry and tired but I had my breakfast meat to cook otherwise it would go out of date TT^TT that was a kick in the teeth as I really thought I had zero cooking to do tonight but i got it done. We had dinner and I fell asleep on my bed for half hour.

Now I am here and I need to do some form of exercise if I want to sleep tonight

so tomorrow is half day at school really and then when we get home I get my plush that Jack hid away in the wardrobe and I will give him a new earring. I can't wait for new plush!

Not sure what else I will do with my day as it depends on how tired I am

picture of the fish cakes I made a few weeks ago and I of course made the chips too

because once again he doesnt communicate

 Evening

I could not be bothered to do my diary last night

so yesterday I was tired and achy, I was disappointed that I wasnt able to do all I wanted but I did get some stuff done

we went to a local town in the morning and I got some new earrings from a jewellers theyre just little hoops as my hoops for my ears were just too large. I got paint for my drawers too. The whole shopping experience was tiring tho as I had bad anxiety everywhere! I felt totally fine all morning but as soon as I was in a shop I was just overwhelmed with it all without even thinking about anxiety! So frustrating

We came home and I went to bed

had lunch and then had a warm bath. I didnt have the energy for exercise so I decided on a warm bath

we set off for one last shop as I wanted a canvas to sit and do during the holidays then from there

 we went over to Jack's mums where we had 5 hours with his family and a BBQ it was alright I dont mind seeing them I just find it exhausting having to look well and happy for that length of time without a break! Its intense! 

I drove us home as Jack wanted a drink with his sisters which is fair enough.

we got back around 8:30pm which I was glad about as I had had enough. I was just aching bad

so I managed 25mins of exercise and then we had Oz in whilst we watched Inuyasha then we went to bed and we both slept pretty well

this morning we got up and went food shopping and I was ok today I wasnt anxious

I was tired tho and achy

we unpacked and I had a tea then crawled up on the bed. I knew I had stuff to do but couldnt face it all. However I did pick myself and went to make my soup with Jack, cleaned Oz out who enjoyed helping and then cleaned the bathroom. Had lunch and went to bed

When I got up I couldnt be bothered but I decided to go a walk, using my strength i drove us to the river for a walk round but Jack hardly spoke it was no fun at all. I was really disappointed that the only thing I had actually had time for myself for was a walk with my boyfriend and I had pushed myself and done the river walk for it to be a total grumpfest. 

We came home and I went on the bed

he wanted my opinion on some tshirts and i ordered a couple for myself then went back on the bed and cried as I ached, my pain killers had done nothing all day. I was tired. Jack was in a mood.

He came and we talked about it and he felt bad for being grumpy but it turns out it was cus we had been talking about his birthday and he doesnt like his birthday and doesnt want any fuss made over him. I knew that but I didnt know he hated his birthday so much. I was looking forward to going out for the day with my boyfriend and he doesnt want to. I said "so once again its me upset because you havent told me how you actually feel!" he always bottles up how he feels about something and then I have no idea why hes not happy, think its me and yeah. He needs to work on that. he was sorry and said he doesnt mind going out for his birthday but said to leave it if it doesnt make him happy. I said "we best actually go places in the holidays tho right?" he said "yeah we can go places" we best >.>

i was also fed up as I had biscuits and food to make but was too tired and drained but i got it done somehow

dont want to go school tomorrow ether

just cant face a full day T^T not done a full day in weeks

its also the department "fuddle" where you bring food in and have a bit of a get together

I am bringing stuff in with Jack but I wont actually be having any of it as I cant face that

I just want to get the day done

Oz will be at bunny day care~

photo of stew dinner

 Evening

thank god the week is done

last night I could not sleep. I had awful awful stomach pains like my insides were rotting and burning. I had no idea what was up. But it was keeping me up! I needed more pain killers but once I took them my stomach felt even worse. So I was just up and awake by myself. It went on and on, til I took some more pain killers at 3am and went back to bed

so when the alarm went off at 6am I was dead.....I was pale with bags under my eyes and my lips had no colour at all. I didnt want to go to school and was half tempted to not go

But I went

I managed everything but left at 11:30am as I just felt like death

I came home after dropping Mia's card off and had my lunch and went to bed

I was a bit disappointed as I had planned to go buy art supplies on my home but didnt feel well enough - mentally and physically to do so. Jack felt better knowing I was going straight home too and not going round a shop by myself

I slept for 2 hour and felt better

I had also been to the toilet multiple times and felt better in that respect too

I finished Jack's sister birthday card off it looks really good and hes really pleased with it

I had tea and fruit loaf, Jack came home

We had dinner which was a simple matter of using a microwave to heat up leftovers! woo!

it been cooler today its been 24c not 30c so thats helped matters!

I might do some exercise now then go and take Oz over to my mum and dads as jack is gaming til 10pm so I will be by myself anyway and my parents have been out for the day. I also said I would help mum with tilly's meds too.

So I will do some exercise and have a bath~

tomorrow

we are popping to the shops in the morning, I will try get some chores done too maybe and then in the afternoon we are going to the shop I was so suppose to get art supplies from today on the way to Jack's parent's house where we have been invited over for a BBQ at 3pm. It could rain tomorrow so not sure how it will go but its his step dad's birthday so there might be cake and if there is I cant eat it T^T

Keep meaning to show one of my stew dinners I make

took tilly vets

 Konbanwa

I slept ok again despite the sheer heat....

I was ok about going school too

I did so much at school! I got the physics booklet cover done and it was well appreciated by head of physics, Hannah and head of KS3 ^^ I was happy my work was appreciated like that :D

They look really good too. I was just doing it for the year 7&8 but everyone has said they want them for 9&10&11 too but I plan to do them separate covers which theyre fine with me doing but they want the year 7&8 ones on the rest of them in mean time as it will take me a long time to do the older year group ones. I am happy they have gone down so well!

We  managed to tidy A LOT of the prep room too, I am no longer so stressed about the state of the prep room. I was exhausted tho. Doing so much manual work in that heat and humidity is awful. Half the kids arent even in due to covid or people keeping their kids at home so they wont have to self isolate or get covid even before their pre-booked holidays during summer. cant blame them. but literally cant see the point in being in. As no one can teach as they sometimes have 5 student in their class so they just stick a video on. A video they could watch from home!!

I came home for lunch, my last lunch with mummy as she wont be coming over tomorrow. 

I showed her the stuff I got from TK MAXX last night, she likes my frying pan of all things XD

typical mother

I went to bed for an hour and woke up hungry as I didnt have much soup left over

so I had tea and tea cake, did some designing of my drawers and then Jack came home

I saw him for a short time as mum came to collect me to go to the vets with her, she thinks Tilly has got a UTI as of last night so mum wanted to get her sorted ASAP. As it goes I couldnt wait in the vets with mum so I was stuck in the car for half an hour with no phone or ipod T^T then mum came out without tilly, mum couldnt go into the vet's room with Tilly! She said if she knew this then she wouldnt have dragged me out like this but I didnt mind supporting mum and tilly

the vet couldnt actually find anything wrong with tilly

but covered all grounds with antibiotics and pain killers just for a week

I hope shes ok

I came back and did dinner which didnt make us sweat too badly

after I did some more Jack's sister's birthday card its looking good ^^

worked out for 30mins I was dripping despite it just being weights, then I remembered I had done 15mins of yoga as well this morning. >< didnt need to have made myself so hot and sweaty

I had cold bath and Jack had it afterwards

now were gonna sit out with my lad

Tomorrow its friday

and thank bloody god that it is

just no more school please. Too hot there

making cards, more pumpkins and fibromylgia videos

 evening

Could not be bothered to do my blog last night

but my day was ok, busy but ok I guess. Hot of course as this week its just 30c all the time

and no where has AC T^T 

I had mum over for lunch and I started doing mia and engagement card as well

I tried doing a yin yoga video for fibromylgia and I found it too easy. I would say it would suit those who are really poorly but I have progressed.

Today

I slept well, dreaming of vampires and demons wanting to recruit me to their clans. I mean just take me now and give me an interesting life! Damn that alarm for waking me!!! ><

didnt want to go school as I finally had those praticals to do from the other week >> and i did them and I did them bloody well. I was sweating making up those chemicals. Luke thanked me and appreciated what I did. Cant be said for other people who literally talk to me like crap. I bit her head off back earlier. I was hot and bothered, in pain, and did not deserve to be spoken to like that. She looked quite shocked but I dont want to be someone who gets walked all over.

I didnt get the physics books done as I have had other work to do :/ but maybe tomorrow

After I had mum over for lunch I went to bed but didnt sleep for long as my body was getting warm >< just too hot to even sleep!

I got up and finished Mia's engagement card and sent Jacks mum some ideas for Jack's birthday which she was grateful for :) 

Dinner was good as I did pulled pork and totally winged the recipe but it was so good. As we didnt have to cook I suggested going to TK MAXX tonight for Jack's step dad's birthday present. His birthday is this weekend. Jack being Jack hasnt brought anything or thought of anything so I suggested a tshirt for him. So Jack said we would go shopping saturday morning

but its more busy then and also we are seeing them that day and I will need all the energy I can get I dont want to be wasting it round a busy shop.

So we went tonight

we got a new frying pan as ours is knackered from Jack's uni days

we got a thermos for soup and a cool bag so we can go on picnics in the holidays

Jack got a tshirt for £4.99 - always determined to buy that guy clothes.

we were unsuccessful in getting James a birthday present as I didnt realise they didnt sell up to his size.....

however we did get something bloody amazing!!!! We got 2 glass pumpkins. Yes I did jump up and down with happiness and excitement in the shop =>.<= Jack said I could have whatever. So I picked a matching one for the one I picked up last year for the kitchen windowsill and I picked a dark glitter green with a goldish stem for the fire place. I was so damn happy. Jack was happy seeing me being happy.

we got home and I I tried to 10min fibromylgia video but that was too dull and slow for me too. then I had a cold bath whilst Jack brought James something online. So he is sorted now. Jack's sister's birthday is in August. It's her 16th so I have started drawing her a card not told Jack yet as I have never made a card for any family members before of his. Im sure it will be ok. I suggested ideas for her birthday too. Honestly its just me organising everything here T^T

I need to do Julia a bday card too as its hers on 1st August. Whats with all these birthdays lately ><

I will do more work on the card tomorrow.

We will go sit out with Oz again tonight as too warm to have him inside

he is enjoying playing out in the evenings

tomorrow is school   

gonna be hot again T^T but might be able to have some actual drawing time who knows

The proposal at 10pm

 Evening

We sat out with Ozwald last night as I think it remained close to 30c TT^TT

so hot, but Oz enjoyed his little self

We just packed up and I went to water my plants when Jack came outside with my phone, it said Rob was calling. So I picked up thinking "whats up at 10pm?"

it was Mia

"Jo Im getting married!!"

I said "yeah....I know?" - as she had said several weeks ago that she and Rob had agreed to get married so she was kinda engaged and going to hunt for a ring

she said "No I'm getting married!"

I was thinking 'like tomorrow!?' I said "Yeah you told me a few weeks ago?"

she said "No no, Rob, he actually just proposed to me!!!"

and yeah I was stunned. Really happy of course but at 10pm and such a big statement, my brain froze a bit! I was so pleased for her tho

he had given her the simple, surprised proposal she wanted

her parents were in the awning of the caravan and Rob went outside and called Mia out and there he was on one knee, in front of her parents (who knew he was gonna do it) and she burst into tears, Mia's mum burst into tears. Yeah dead pleased for her. As we werent sure if Rob was gonna give her an actual proposal or not after agreeing they were gonna get married

he had even been sweet enough to buy her a ring, but said to her if she still wants to chose her own then she can do. But I said it was a lovely effort and she would keep the ring forever regardless. I mean I am not sure why she still needs to chose a ring! Id be happy with anything Jack gets me

so with that she left me to my bedtime. 

I got into bed and filled Jack in. Who jokingly said "I cant use Rob as an excuse not to propose to you now" as his joke was he couldnt propose to me til Rob had finally asked mia to marry him. But here we are! XD

I slept ok given the heat. But still felt tired this morning >< so did everyone as work actually. Everyone was yawning.

The school was sooo humid like you could feel the moisture in the air. It was horrid. Cus its been shut up all weekend and only about 6 rooms in the whole building have AC

our room is not one of them......

I went straight to see Chris before I even went to the prep room. I wanted to know if he was ok. So I sat chatting with him for a good half hour. He seemed so hurt it is awful seeing someone like that

I came to the prep room and Julia was like "morning, where you been?" I said "went to see chris" she said "oh ok, just everyone is asking for you"

thought 'odd, normally no one knows or cares where I am!'

turns out it was mainly Luke who was asking where I was as I had forgotten I had got his practical first thing! I had chemicals to make >< but luckily I had prepped the actual equipment on friday so I literally just had chemicals to whip up which I did~

I managed all my lessons like a pro. Luke didnt eat all the chemicals so I have enough left over for tomorrow's practical ^^

it gave me the rest of the day to draw~

I got the biology front covers done and everyone loved them!

I cant upload them due to them having so much school info on them

It felt like a good achievement. I just need to crack out the physics ones~

Julia's daughter made it in but I was drawing today so I didnt work with her

I came home for my lunch and I was ready for a rest and food!

Mum came to see me for almost 2 hours. I hadnt seen her since friday so we had a lot to catch up on.

I managed to tidy my painting up from painting the porch door and I did a load of washing, had 40mins on my bed.

Tried looking for ideas on how to paint my  drawers. 

Jack came home and I had a cup of tea and fruit loaf and he had an ice cream. 

We did dinner which was good~

Then I felt depressed over my art as I didnt know what to do on my drawers without it looking crap. My picture for Tara is becoming difficult as I have got to do a background and I am no good at backgrounds T^T 

Jack came and picked my spirits up and said to me to just try things out and to not worry about getting it right first time. And he is right. I expect perfection on the first go.

So I had a go on photoshop then clipart studio

I think I have a bit more of an idea what to do now but its gonna take time and attempts....

I did 25mins of weights, I had done 15mins of yoga this morning so I feel I have done some exercise today :) It is still very hot and humid so I sweated to death doing simple movements

Then I had a cold bath with was blood fantastic. Jack had it after me and announced he was sleeping there tonight XD

We are gonna sit outside with Oz again tonight as there is still ant poison down and its too warm for him inside.

tomorrow is school and another hot day T^T

I wonder if Mia got any sleep last night or if she was just up thinking about her wedding

and yes I am bridesmaid

and yes that involves bridesmaidly duties.......

so damn hot, last full week of work!

 Evening

Last night we sat outside with Oz, drinking hot chocolate, well I was - Jack had ice cream

Oz loved every bit of it XD he did not want to go home tho. Right gave me the run around and then he made himself hot and out of breath, whats the point!?

I did not sleep well. It was 29c last night....the temperature didnt seem to drop and the humidity was awful. No breeze. It was like we were being punished!

We had the fan on all night for the first time. So I think that contributed to my lack of sleep as I just kept waking up. Jack was thrashing in his sleep as he was hot and bothered. He also elbowed me in the forehead in his sleep which woke me. Didnt wake him tho >.> I was sure to report this when I got up at 8am. I did wake up with a headache but realised it wasnt a headache it was scalp pain from having my hair in a pig tail for a lot of the day yesterday T^T

we set off and at 9:20am it was already 27c....thats just not possible

We got up and went shopping we were unpacked and done for 10:30am

we sat and the Jack helped me with my soup ^^

I had my soup and then I was just so tired, I was frustrated tho as I wanted to start my painting. But Jack said he would wake me up after an hour. I still felt like it was an hour I was losing.

Hes been gaming with Harvey and Theo most of the day. I dont mind as he has done his chores. And we said we would have a hobby weekend as its so damn hot.

I have been painting for several hours. The door is almost finished. I will get it done tonight. Its not as good as I wanted it to be but its still better than the eye sore that it used to be. Jack is impressed with it. I will get it finished tonight. Glad I didnt paint my nails last night as my hands were just full of paint. I wrecked my socks with paint too!

I am gonna do some weight videos then have a cold bath. Think that is my plan~

Tomorrow is school

and I found another calf length skirt in my wardrobe I havent worn before so I can wear that without tights tomorrow and be 'cool' I know I will be hot no matter what. I can wear my hair in plates and it doesnt seem to hurt my scalp too much. So at least I can get my hair off my neck but I dont like wearing it in that style >.> 

I finish at midday again and I hope mummy will come and see me for lunch~

I did more on my pokemon picture~

No more insects.....please

 Evening

man it is hot -_______-

So last night when we went to bed I said to Jack "don't wake me up for nothing"

at 6:30am "Jo!!" "yeah?...." "nevermind, thought it was school"

I was raging XD I needed a wee now I had been rudely woken cus Jack was in a panic thinking we had over slept on a school morning. I climbed back into bed after I went for a wee and said

"I swear to god Jack if I dont get back to sleep now I will literally castrate you"

Luckily we both fell asleep til around 8am! So he got to keep his balls......for now.....

We got up as we was already warm!

As I went to see Oz I noticed ants crawling around the cracks in the brickwork underneath the living room window about 50cm from the window on the outside. I decided to show Jack, he was not impressed but we were planning on filling in those gaps in the holidays anyway. Its just over the years houses move and mortar and brick separate sometimes.

We got ready to go out and then went out around 9:15am

We had a walk through a park which had plenty of shade.

We did a few charity shops which were naff to be honest. Then we did Wilkos where Jack brought them out of ant poison, I just let him get on with it XD

We then walked down to Pudding Pantry and got Ice cream!!!! I had 2 scoops of oreo and Jack had melon sorbet. Mine was soooooooooooo good I could have had hooked to my veins 

We ate them in the shade and then walked through the shade back to the car.

We got home and rested. I rested on the bed then had lunch, then did my chores which was cleaning Oz out and cleaning the bathroom. Jack went straight out to gas the ants with poison

I want to say that from waking up til 4pm we kept finding spiders. In total today Jack has hovered up 11 spiders....we get 2 a day which is normal every day for us here but 11 is taking the pee. 8 of them were huge buggers.

Jack had been gaming and resting most of the afternoon. To be honest there wasnt an awful lot else you could do as it was so damn hot. I watched some youtube videos then did a bit of drawing but it was so hot. I had a shower to cool myself off

I decided to bake biscuits as the oven needed to be on for dinner anyway >< 

I was making dinner and just as I was about to serve it up did we realise we had 15+ flying ants on the INSIDE of our patio door....sweet mother of god what was going off!? Jack discovered that the hole on the outside of the house connects with a hole behind the radiator in the living room.  So we never knew it was there....As Jack had earlier gased the outside of the ants hole they had decided to evacuate through the inside hole of the house!!!

we had ants all over the carpet, wall, radiator, sofa...it was like an actual nightmare. There was flying ants everywhere. So he hovered up everything and I went round killing flying ants. Mayhem. My dinner was over cooking and burning at the point T^T

Jack laid poison out and gased them as well. Thank god he had brought what he did. life saver.

He said "Oz can't come in here tonight tho" but I dont think i will bring him anyway as its far to warm in that living room for him

I didnt fancy eating in the living room as I felt too on edge and itchy over the whole thing so we took the picnic blanket outside and ate outside with Ozwald who loved the company ^^

Jack went inside after dinner to assess the ant situation. He said "cant see any thats actually alive"

I came inside just on my laptop as I can not face going in that living room right now!

since then I have killed a a big fly and a wasp

Jack kindly sanded down the porch door for me so I can start painting that tomorrow :D

Dont think we are sitting in the lounge tonight, leaving the poison over night and see what its like in the morning. Tomorrow Jack is sealing the hole up. It was awful

truly insect genocide happened in this house today

1 fly

1 wasp

11 spiders

30+ flying ants

100s ants

I have had enough of insects today. No more please.

I am tired and hot. We will sit outside with Oz tonight then go to bed

my morning with Jack was nice tho, we both enjoyed that and needed it

tomorrow

just got food shop and soup to make I can spend the rest of the day painting my door!

finished the week and counselling

 Evening

I slept well ^^

I felt ok about school, just tired but I managed 15mins of yoga before school~

School I was on better form than yesterday~

I almost got too carried away with my work and missed my council meeting which I felt was a total waste of time. She didnt really give me anything. Other than saying "im not a professional but sounds like you have an eating disorder" "you need to see more value in what you do each day, you do a lot more than other people who dont have your issues or anxiety" tis true. I thought I need to make note of what I do achieve in my days, no matter how small. I set myself goals but I dont look at any extra stuff or stuff I do instead.

However I am not returning to counselling as I dont feel like I am getting anything from it

I got a lot done at work today, I mean there was a lot of practicals none of them big but just loads of little ones which ate up my day and I wasnt able to do any drawing!

I came home and had lunch with mum and Oz but Oz was playing up, almost showing off in front of mum so I booted him outside >.> 

we went to TK MAXX and we literally went there and home

I got a pair of joggers, sun glasses for me and Jack, candle and some soap so nothing much or special.

Mum came home with me and we opened up my Boohoo order and she liked all my stuff and I was pleased with them, just none I can wear right now as theyre thick joggers and jumpers!

she stayed for a cup or tea and I had fruit loaf too~

I couldnt wait for her to go tho as I was so damn tired

as soon as she left I went to bed but then Jack came through the door he said he saw mum, I dont get a break. I wasnt gonna grace him with my presence and conked out whilst he showered 

I had a bath when I got up, which was when Jack finished showering

we had dinner

it was just so hot today it reached 29c its gonna go past 30c at the weekend T^T god help us

Jack went to clear up and Mia randomly rang me for 10mins then Jack was already gaming by this point. I sat on my laptop with the means to draw but I wasnt in the mood and it was a nice evening. I had sacked off exercise as my body feels heavy and achy like its full of fibromylgia-if thats possible. So I decided to scoop my bunny, get in my car (which was luckily in the shade by this point!) and drive to mums. I usually put Oz in his carrying case but it stresses him out so much even tho hes in it less than 5mins! So I thought I would sit him on my knee, no main roads and a dead time of day. He was such a good boy and clung to me. I drove like an old woman XD

We got to mums and I sat out with her and dad we watched Oz love life and run round the garden and the girls eat the grass, I had to cut truffs claws which she was not having. But Oz was so damn happy. Its so warm for him to come inside at night so I thought this would make his friday night ^^ 

I put him on my lap and we came home, Jack still doesnt know we had even gone out!

Now its 9:40pm and Jack should hopefully be finished around 10pm as I am shattered!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tomorrow is saturday!

and thank god that we dont need to get up at 6am ^^

we said we would have a bit of a 'date' as we dont go anywhere - thanks to corona but I need to go places as its not helping my anxiety for when i do need to go places and I dont want to fear getting anxiety, I wont let myself get that bad otherwise thats when you become a recluse! Also I want to do something fun with my Jack ^^ so we are going into a local town, where Harvey lives, and we are going for a walk in the park, charity shops maybe (if theyre not busy) and going for ICE CREAM!!! can not bloody wait. it has literally kept me going all week!!!!!

then we will come home for lunch and chores then die as it will be like 30c......

so hobbies after that!

heres how far I am with my picture, almost done the shading I guess

had a rest day cus it was a stressful day

 Evening

We had Oz in whilst we watched Inuyasha last night and of those 20 something minutes we watched the anime I think Oz must have spent 17 of those minutes on his toilet. Actually obsessed. He ran straight to it whilst I was setting it up as I had cleaned his towel he does toilet on and im sure he KNEW it was clean too

I slept well ^^

I felt ok about school as well, just tired and every time my meds kick in I become tired. thats both my pain killers and antidepressants. Life is hard and tiring....

At school we had a department meeting to which my booklet front cover was projected on the board for all to see! And I was praised by head of department for my good work and he announced that I was completing the biology one next ^^ everyone loves Jo's art work :D

I had a very stressful morning

I had head of biology barking a 1000 things at me

I had an Ox heart on the side defrosted sitting in it's own blood that literally flipped my stomach over

changes of lesson plans

sudden shopping trip sprung on me

had to go to a big supermarket with Jack to which I felt like crying whilst I was going round it as it was just too much, that why we go shopping on a sunday morning when the shop doors open - its quiet. this was awful. I was stressed. I had a practical to prep that ive done loads of times but  i couldnt get my head round it due to stress

in the end I literally sat on my computer and drew

I came home and mum wasnt seeing me today as she had got an appointment but it did mean she was in for my boohoo parcel! woo! she offered to bring it over but I am seeing her tomorrow and I can wait. I was very pleased with what came this week tho, my hand made bunny earrings! so cute! I am so pleased with them ^^

I went to bed after I had had my lunch with my Ozwald

then when I got up I finished Jack's card by adding some sparkles on it and writing. I also wrapped his present. Its not til next month but its easier to do these things when hes not home.

When Jack came home I had a lump of fruit loaf and sweet tea

then I made biscuits and then my brother came over to give his opinion on my chest of drawers as to what I can actually do with them. Hes hopefully going to sort me out a sander~

we had dinner, and it was same food that gave me stomach ache on tuesday and it gave me tummy ache again. I laid on my bed, my body exhausted

Jack laid beside me and we fell asleep, when I looked out the bedroom window I could see Oz asleep next to the garage door -____- we were tired and warm

I havent done any exercise today as I am exhausted physically and mentally

I have to allow myself days off otherwise I am pushing myself and will make myself worse. I know this. However it is difficult. I feel bad not exercising and I get the fat talk how I will become fat. But I can't just so tired. I went for a shower and felt better for a shower but it was an effort to wash myself

so we are with Oz now going to watch anime, Oz is happy bunny and I love it~

tomorrow is friday thank god

first thing in the morning I have that counselling session which I dont want to go to.

practicals to prep too. and somehow got to find energy for it all and to go TK MAXX with mum after lunch! >< 

got praised for my drawing ^^

 Evening

Last night I suggested to Jack that we sit outside on the picnic blanket with Oz instead of watching anime, and he was happy to that. That half hour was lovely. We drank hot chocolate and watched our extremely happy bunny. I can't express how happy Oz was that we had come into his play garden, he was running around, coming up to sniff and lick us, hopping about 2 foot into the air and sometimes doing a 180 whilst doing so. Just a very happy bunny. We really enjoyed our evening. Then at 9:30pm we put Oz to bed and we went to bed too~

I slept! I actually slept well and I also didnt get squwished!!!

I felt ok again this morning! My anxiety has been almost none existent this week, so its all good ^^ I had a bit of tummy ache this morning so I was on the toilet for a while. 

School was ok. I got my prepping done fast again

so it was a day of drawing~

my example front cover had been seen by head of science and he LOVED it. But before he could give the go ahead he had to take it further up the chain to see if we were allowed to have it for science if it fitted in with the school 'branding' like we're some corporate company. Weird.

But anyway the lady who saw it was amazed by it and said "I want to encourage other departments to do this sort of this and personalise them" ^^ so its got the go ahead and we in science are gonna have the best looking books~ Head of science came by to tell me I had done an excellent job ^^

I made a start on biology which are gonna be the best and cutest for no other reason than it will have a rabbit on it X3

I came home for lunch and ate with mum then she left me but I didnt go to bed til 3pm. I tried to not go to sleep but my meds kicked in and made feel awful - which is why I usually go to sleep! So I did go to bed for an hour. 

I got up and rang hairdressers for appointment, rang doctors for sick note, finished Jack's birthday card. So I got things achieved with my afternoon.

Jack came home and we had a cup of tea and I had fruit loaf~ love that fruit loaf ^^

as we hadn't got to cook, as I put a new curry recipe in the slow cooker that morning, I suggested we did a walk. We did a good walk but both were sweating! So we came home and showered then had dinner in our pyjamas which was really nice actually, can't remember the last time I ate dinner in my pyjamas. The dinner its self was my limit of spice but Jack said it was right amount for him XD it was nice but I felt it was probably bad for you. Which is probably why he enjoyed it so much

Then I have come on my laptop to do some drawing, Jack washed up then went to do some gaming. Its Jo night which usually means no gaming but its fine I insisted XD means I can draw!

we will probably watch anime with Oz, we are on Inuyasha at the moment

tomorrow is school

same old really

Give me space in bed!

 Evening

I couldnt sleep last night -_____- just ached like hell. After 90mins of being in bed I got up and took pain killers and climbed back into my bed and did fall asleep. Jack kept offering to get up with me but I didnt want to have to get up. He yelled something out in his sleep which woke me, then I got comfy again - facing him - and got elbowed in the nose by him TT^TT he didnt even wake up despite me going OW!!! so thats the other day he crushed my hand in his sleep and now this. Give me space!!

I did not want to get up this morning, almost fell asleep after my alarm was turned off ><

I was ok about going school tho, wasnt anxious. However I just did not want to talk to people

I got to school, prepped my day and prepped tomorrow all by 9am! So then I spent the rest of my morning being anti-social on my PC drawing the front covers for the students science books. I got the year 7&8 chemistry done!! got biology next then physics but it looks really good! Its been sent to head of department to get the thumbs up, so fingers crossed he will like it. If it gets the green light our booklets will look so much better than the other departments!

I left at lunch with a headache, I think cus I had been looking at a screen for so long and probably wasnt blinking XD

Mum came over for lunch and told me the doctors had switched dads antidepressant and hes on the same one as me! only on the smallest dose to start. But so glad. and hes agreed to have talking therapy. We were both shocked that he does in fact know what an arse he is

I laid on my bed for an hour when mum left

then got up and did my admin job of changing the address of my car just got to post it. but it is a good job done, then I water coloured Jack's birthday card, that just needs outlining now

I sat on the sofa for a bit then Jack came home, we did dinner. Dinner was nice but gave me awful stomach pains. I was on the bed for an hour in a ball. Waste of life

Now I have exercise to do and Oz to sit with >< I can not bare to do exercise as I am so god damn tired I literally just want my bed. I am so tired T^T

I am sure I will manage something tho, I always do

Id go for a walk but Jack is in his pyjamas now :/ but maybe a walk would be too much. Quick 10min video is what I need XD

Tomorrow is school

hopefully have more time to draw again, Ii just keep doing a little bit each night and I can slowly see progress. If I have time tonight it will be flareon's eyes

coping better today with anxiety

 Konbanwa~~~

Last night we had Oz in whilst we watched anime, we finished Ouran high school host club. I had to take Oz home half way through the episode as he was just so hungry, I couldnt keep giving him carrot and treats tho as its not good for him. Lives for food that rabbit >.>

I went to bed and could hear the football game going off but slept through it, woke up at 11:30pm as Jack had rolled over onto my hand so my hand had pins and needles in it and was actually hurting ><

I slept through the rest of the night and didnt really suffer with anxiety ether!

This morning I was actually ok about going to school

didnt feel anxious. maybe I got all my anxiety out my system over the weekend XD

but it was nice to go to school and  not feel like being sick

school was ok, I gave the teacher her welcome back card and she came to find me later and gave me a big cuddle ^^ I was glad I did that for her~

I got all my jobs done and wasnt feeling too bad about it all

Julia was saying she was struggling to cope with her daughter who obviously has depression but Julia still hasnt been to take her to the doctors. I said I think she needs medicating. But she just keeps blanking it. I feel so sorry for her daughter.

I went home, and was ready for a good rest

mum came over for lunch and brought the sows who look lovely still after their bath. Truffle especially looked beautiful with her short hair cut, mum says shes sure truffs loves it when her hair gets cut short.

Mum left me after lunch to go to sleep, it was good to see her

I went to sleep for about an hour

when I got up I changed my address on my car insurance ^^ that is a good achievement for me as I dont like doing admin jobs, its always an anxiety set off but I was actually ok. I have just got to change the address on the car ownership now. That will be a job for tomorrow~

I drew the outline on Jack's birthday card. I asked him which pokemon he would like on it but in the end I drew chimecho, as hes getting a chimecho wind chime for his birthday so I think it will go well. I will water colour it probably tomorrow. No rush with it

Jack came home and we had a cup of tea I also had fruit loaf - which was my breakfast also~

Then I made some banana biscuits but they were a bit wet so took longer to cook, I had got my chicken cooking for my breakfasts and I then put the chicken on for dinner, but couldnt put the potato in the oven cus my biscuits were hogging the tray so in the end, because those biscuits took the tray I usually do my potatoes on it just threw me out of sync with all the dinner but it actually worked out ok and tasted really good. Jack enjoyed his dinner too~

I am gonna do probably 1 exercise video then go for a bath as I did like 15+mins of yoga this morning and I dont wanna do myself in for the rest of the week. I am quite tired ^^;

then I will do some drawing I guess~

sit with Oz and watch anime. Think we are gonna give this other Inuyasha final act box set I bought as the first 2 did not work T^T so literally 3rd time lucky!

Tomorrow

is school~ nothing special going on there. It will be then exactly 2 weeks before we break up for summer holidays!!!!!!

Seeing Jack's family and constant anxiety

 Evening

I just ran out of time to do my diary last night!

Yesterday morning I woke up from having not pleasant dreams. Went for a wee whilst Jack went to let Oz out. But he was taking ages....My head said "what if Oz is dead and Jack just doesnt know how to come in and break the news to you" I panicked as my heart sank. I rushed out side shouting Jack, my heart hammering. I said "is he ok!?" he was like "yeah hes just giving me lots of fuss this morning and I fussed him loads back as you know - no school today" I felt so dumb. My heart was still hammering and I felt so weakened by that burst of panic. I told Jack. Oz is fine ^^

So yesterday we got most of our chores out the way in the morning. I cleaned Oz out and did the bathroom. 

I went for a walk with Jack as well. Slept a bit, made some biscuits

I was anxious about going over to Jack's family as I didnt know what we were eating so I was getting food anxiety

We had a bath before going over to Jack's family at 6pm. I was really aching so decided to make it a rather hot bath. Didnt realise just how hot it was tho, I was glowing red for almost an hour afterwards!

on the way over to Jack's family I felt sick in the car with anxiety. Its weird its like I felt panicky about being out the house at that time of day. Gotten so out of going OUT

We got to Jack's family and we talked with his family, met Enzo the white kitty who is very handsome and actually alright for a cat. I watched the bunnies several times as Skyla is so damn cute!! <3 

Jack's mum had made a dinner I was able to eat bless her, it was chicken breast and vegetables it was all really nice actually. Made a change not to have to cook as well! There was ice cream and strawberries afterwards but I wish I didnt have the ice cream as I didnt like it that much and it made me cold!

We sat and talked for a bit after wards and left at 9:45pm. I was shattered. I think we left because I couldnt stop yawning and looked tired. Just exhausted as usual. On the way home I saw a man in pink 'dress' with his mates and he was just peeing against the bridge which is a main road....gross. Some people have no shame. Doesnt make me want to go out in the evenings anyway when you see idiots like that around....

We got home and had Oz out and had hot chocolate with him whilst watching anime. Oz was dead giddy and hyper to say it was like 10:30pm. He usually in bed at this point XD

I slept pretty ok I guess, had a cuddle with Jack in bed which is nice as theres no time for that before school at 6am >< 

We got up and went shopping, I felt so sick with anxiety before I left. Going round the shop I couldnt think, my heart was pounding and I felt dizzy. But we got it done! It was getting busy as we left tho. Im guessing people were going shopping for the football match tonight - we will probably be able to hear it whilst we are trying to sleep -_____-

we unpacked and had a brew with Ozwald

Jack helped me with my soup then he went to go cut the grass and tidy the garden a little bit. So I finished my soup, put the pots away and made him his lunch he came inside and we ate together :)

I had a bit of a sleep after lunch

then got up and stitched a rabbit japanese cloth so it can hang on the wall and Jack hammered in two nails so I could hang it up ^^

it sits next to the plushies

 I fixed a top of dad's as well. Then I started a card for a teacher at work who has been off work and I wanted to give her a little card to say we missed her and we will support her. 

Whilst it dried we went for a walk

I came back and had fruit loaf and a brew and finished the card

I did dinner which was 'omurice' but more 'omubeans' it was sooooo damn good. I made it all up but both me and jack said we would eat it again!

I did my first order off Boohoo and got a lot of stuff and saved a lot of money. Theyre having a big sale cus of the football and so I treated myself to more joggers and hoodies XD

Now I am gonna have a bath, do some drawing and see the lad. I got my stuff ready for school. Going to wear my space skirt, its long enough that I feel comfortable not to wear tights. So hopefully it will keep me cooler. I still dont want to go tho

so yeah tomorrow is school and mum said she will come see me for lunch as shes missed me :)

met the school councillor

 Evening

I slept really deep last night, like proper deep sleep for whatever reason

cant say I felt any more refreshed after it >.>

still didnt want to go to school

we had Oz inside this morning as we let him out and 3 mins later a cat came into the garden and it obviously scared the crap out of him so I had to get him and calm him down. He soon forgot about it all when he realised he was playing inside in the morning and didnt want to go home ether!

School

I had my first session with the councillor at 8:15am

didnt get out til 9am

it was ok I guess, I dont feel I got anything out of it as I literally just told her my life 

she was very nice but dont feel like she had a lot to give somehow

she said 

"you need to be kinder to yourself"

"youre too hard on yourself"

"its no wonder you feel crap you have so much going off"

yeah I came away needing caffeine 

I somehow and I mean SOMEHOW got my lessons prepped then left 

head of science was teaching as I walked out but he shouted me and left his class to ask how I had got on and cheered me on for doing another week. And could tell I was struggling as I looked like death and I felt it! I wanted nothing more than to sleep for 5 hours

i came home and mum turned up as I did~

we had lunch and a quick sit then it was just all go this afternoon ><

we went to two small shops for a few bits, I got my paint for my porch door

then we came back and I sheered truffs, gave her a proper short cut as shes getting too warm. She was so good whilst I did it, I think its because she knows I am relaxed when doing it and its to help her. She does not let mum do it but mum is on edge when doing it and I think animals pick up on that. Then we bathed all 3 of them so I bet truffle is lovely clean and soft now! I even trimmed her tummy fur just to try and keep her cooler.

Then I sat with a cup of tea and fruit loaf and then I grabbed a few bits from my old bedroom such as my sewing machine! shes finally over here! I feel reunited!!

mum dropped me home at 4pm and Jack was home

we sat for a lil while then I had a full sesh in the bathroom

eyebrow bleach

epilated

shaved

lazered

face pack

its hard being female ^^; 

of course its all for my sake no one elses

Jack had a shower after me, we had dinner then I thought "I have some time to draw"

but my brother rang for 80mins which is fine I like speaking to him. I just havent had a single minute to myself today! So now I am doing my diary and I have got to go have Oz inside for his evening sit and I have got to do some yoga as I havent done any exercise today I am exhausted but need to do something. So I said I would do yoga with Oz in my pyjamas

tomorrow

it will be nice not getting up at 6am

I plan to clean bathroom and clean Oz out and try do a bit of exercise before I go over to Jack's mum's house for dinner

think that will literally be the day!

but I have completed another week~ 

work in progress - umbreon and flareon

 Evening

I slept ok last night, I mean it took a while to get off to sleep as we could hear people shouting for miles over the bloody football -_____- 

I woke up at 4:30am for a huge wee but managed to go back to sleep

we both woke up a few mins before the alarm and even got up!

I didnt want to go school and felt quite sick going

Jack literally held my hand when it came to prepping practicals

I spoke to the print technician about mental health for a while too

I got my day done

and head of science brought us a big packet of white chocolate buttons to say sorry for forgetting to take Jack home, he made sure to bring him home today tho XD

I came home at lunch and had lunch with mummy, the girls came over as our grass is longer than theirs XD and then mum left me to go to sleep which I kinda did for an hour

I did some drawing and looked at stuff online for mummy

Jack came home and I had a cup of tea with him then we went for a walk as it looked like rain so we thought we would go before dinner and its a good job we did as it rained during dinner, we had Oz inside with us whilst we ate as I knew he would sit out in it -____-

Think I will go for a bath in a minute then I can sit and draw for the rest of the evening :) 

I will sit Oz again as well

tomorrow is last day of school this week

at 8:15am I have my first meeting with the school councillor who I have never met but hopefully it should be beneficial. Feels like a long week this week actually  

here is how far I am with my umbreon and flareon picture